List of prompts that can be requested (w/ or w/o a requested person/character) - [most of these are prompts I found on pinterest in the writing prompts tag - will be adding prompts continuously] - Also, I’ve made a little list of rules when it comes to requests: https://fictionpants.tumblr.com/post/186141917542/rules-for-requests
1. “I apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your life.”
2. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”
3. “Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.”
“It’s not on anyone’s.”
“No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”
4. “Hold on, you died.”
“Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”
5. “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
“Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”
6. “She’s crying, what do I do?”
“Go comfort her.”
“How do I do that?”
“Start with hugs.”
“With what?”
7. “What’s our exit strategy?”
“Our what?”
“Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”
8. “I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.” “Vodka? For the spell?”
“No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”
9. “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?”
“I don’t know, probably both.”
10. “I saved your lives.”
“How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”
11. “It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”
12. “I’m getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”
13. “Did you just agree with me?”
“Oh I wish I could take-”
“Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”
14. “It’s a long story.”
“You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”
15. “I regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”
16. “I had a thought.”
“Oh no.”
“I swear it’s a good one this time!’
17. “FBI, open the door!”
“No. It’s cooler when you break in.”
18. “Do you think they remember you?”
“I sure hope not after what I did the last time I was here.”
“What did you do?”
“You’ll find out.”
19. “You look…”
“Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”
20. “You scared me!”
“Well, I am naturally terrifying.”
21. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
22. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.”
“You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”
23. “You really have no clue who I am?”
“You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”
24. “I am way too sober for this.”
25. “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.”
“That’s what makes me so good at it.”
26. “I don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”
27. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
“Actually, it’s more like eight.”
“Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”
28. “If you could even comprehend where I’ve come from, you would be terrified of me.”
29. “I saved your life!”
“You pushed me off a building.”
30. “You know we’re not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?”
31. “How do we keep getting into these situations?”
“Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”
32. “Did you hear that scream?”
“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”
33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”
“Yes.”
“What if I just break his nose a little?”
34. “You are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”
35. “You’re-you’re crushing my spleen.”
“You don’t even know where your spleen is.”
36. “I’m no detective, of course, but I think this dead body might not be alive anymore.”
37. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.”
“Can I pick?”
38. “The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.”
“I almost died!”
“Ah yes, that was my fondest memory.”
39. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!”
“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”
40. “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!”
“What do you want? A gold star?”
41. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”
42. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-”
“At least a twenty.”
43. “Literally everything about this is illegal.”
44. “Seven billion people in the world, and you’re overreacting because we killed one man.”
“But-”
“Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie.”
45. “It’s not my birthday.”
“It’s definitely your birthday.”
“Give me a calendar. It’s not and I will prove it to – oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me.”
46. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?”
“I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties.”
47. “I can fix that.”
“I’m calling a professional.”
“I’m a professional.”
“A more professional, professional.”
48. “What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?”
“Those are children. That’s a school.”
49. “I have a concern.”
“Just one?”
“No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”
50. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”
51. “If we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault.”
“That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a ghost.”
52. “What are you so afraid of?”
“You.”
53. “What is that THING in your backpack?”
“It’s my new pet dragon.”
“Dragons aren’t real!”
“Then why is there one in my backpack?”
54. “I hate the sight of blood.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”
55. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”
56. “Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”
“Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”
“It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”
“You absolutely do not.”
57. “I don’t give a damn.”
“You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”
58. “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”
59. “You’re not as evil as people think you are.”
“No. I’m much worse.”
60. “That’s a terrifyingly accurate drawing of us.”
“It’s almost like I’m good at what I do.”
61. “You have no power over me.”
“You sure about that?”
62. “This isn’t good.”
“How can you tell?”
“See how they’re slowly surrounding us? And they all have guns and knives and I think one guy is carrying a machete?”
63. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Actually he’s right in front of you.”
64. “I’m not a thief. I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”
65. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”
66. “Is that blood?”
“No?”
“That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”
67. “I never stood a chance, did I?”
“That’s the sad part – you did once.”
68. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
69. “I’m not going to leave you.”
70. “Everything is okay.”
71. “I’m going to protect you.”
73. “Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?”
“I don’t have time to feel guilty. And neither do you.”
74. “Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”
75. “What are you doing?”
“…Eating.”
“We’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen?”
“They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.”
76. “Is that a dead body?”
“Maybe?”
“It is. I can see it right in front of me.”
“I promise I’ll clean it up before dinner.”
77. “If we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After that, we can go back to killing each other.”
“Oh, fine.”
78. “That’s not funny.”
“I thought it was.”
“You don’t count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.”
79. “Do we need wine?”
“No, I need wine, you need to put your pants back on.”
“But life is so freeing without them.”
“Pants. On. Now.”
80. “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”
81. “I feel like I’m being stabbed.”
“How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”
82. “Will you be quiet?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Well stop thinking so loud.”
83. “Did you get my note?”
“Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping.”
84. “You’re a psychopath.”
“I prefer creative.”
85. “Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?”
“Because you’re in shock.”
“That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.”
86. “Oh no.”
“What is it? What happened? Who died?”
“I think I just felt an emotion.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”
87. “When all this is over, I want my sanity back.”
88. “That’s definitely not true.”
“Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”
89. “You forgot me.”
“It was an accident.”
90. “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?”
“Yes.”
91. “I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.”
“You are the WORST at this comfort thing.”
92. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“What?”
“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”
93. “Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”
94. “Just calm down!”
“My leg just dematerialised and you want me to calm down!?”
95. “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.”
“Who even says that?”
“Me. Just now.”
96. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.”
97. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!”
“Really?”
“Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t.”
98. “I need to go de-stress.”
“Where are you going?”
“To demolish the living room.”
99. “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”
100. “I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.”
“I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”
101. “I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?”
102. You always think you know what you’d do when faced with the end of the world. Me? I went home and took a nap.
103. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”
104. “I’d hug you right now, but you’re covered in evidence. And I also really don’t want to.”
“Evidence is a really nice euphemism for blood, gore and guts.”
“You’re totally missing the point. Do you know how pissed I am at you right now?”
105. “This way is more efficient.”
“This way is going to get us killed.”
106. “You’re not my favourite person today.”
“I’m not your favourite person on any day.”
