write in space

to remember things (or perhaps to forget)

[writeinspace]

i'm having strange feelings lately that made me curious about my present self..

[wovi]

[writeinspace]

70 to 108 kmph.

There's something about riding that is addicting. The way the wind rushes over my head like it cleanses my thoughts. The touch of the breeze all over my body. Zooming past everyone like a race without a finish line. The warmth from trucks and heavy cars. Getting all sentimental while music plays while you drive.

They say you should sell your bike if it feels slower to you now. I say the danger tastes so fucking good.

It's playing gamble with the grim reaper and I'm the highest bidder.

One of these days, I won't regret anything. I will just be happy.

[writeinspace]

i am a switch, whaddya know

[writeinspace]

Pwede bang umiyak sayo?

[mournfulroses]

Olivia Tapiero, from her book titled "Nothing At All," originally published in January 2026

[writeinspace]

i'm going back to manila later. for a hike i don't really feel like going to atm. i know i'm just forcing myself in low hopes that maybe i'll be able to escape my mind for a bit. fully knowing that once i come home, the loneliness will fuck me over. and i have to convince myself not to end myself again. it's the same cycle every time i get back to our neglected apartment. i feel so restless there. i just want to be somewhere safe and peaceful. i just want to be held and be able to cry. i feel like if somebody hugged me and asked me if i'm really okay, i will just cry right then and there. or not. i'm just so fucking lonely now. i hate myself. i hate everything about my mind and my feelings. i want to throw a fucking tantrum and break things and be violent until i get physically and mentally and emotionally tired. i want to hate fuck someone who wants it. i want something to bleed. to hurt. that isn't towards me. i'm just so fucking mad i can't afford to be gentle even to myself. i don't deserve anything good. i deserve to be thrown away. i hope i get into an accident later.

[writeinspace]

i had a dream about you again..

i hate it. you were hurtful there as well. i hate it. i hate it so much. i wish you'd stop haunting me.

[writeinspace]

i just stopped myself from doing something really bad. i need someone to hold me. and tell me i did good. that it's going to be okay. i need to be held. and be able to cry.

[writeinspace]

a thousand thoughts all at once. no emotions. just thoughts. about myself. about people. a person. another person. a person i just met. someone i'd like to know. someone i used to know. someone who loves me. someone who doesn't love me anymore. someone who still loves me. someone who is starting to love me. people i love. people i don't love (yet?). a lot of people. thoughts about how my existence affects all of these people. thoughts of how i still have nights i want to remove myself from all of them. from this world. to delete everything. just thoughts. no emotions. it's a weird thing to experience. every day. every day. like this. end this. please. i'm still the same. in the end. medicated or not. it's still there. still the same. one day. i will stop writing here. i will stop disturbing the universe. people will ask themselves all the whys. there will never be an answer. i thought she was doing well. she was already on medication. i thought she was already okay. i thought so too.

[writeinspace]

[writeinspace]

me & my friend's ritual

[writeinspace]

Kung babalik lang ang sakit / Ay kalimutan mo na lang / Wag ka nang mag abalang lumapit Wala nang hinihintay sa lugar / Kung saan mo ako binitawan ng / Kapit Tapos ngayon ka lalapit

[writeinspace]

So yung krass ko na ilang araw ko na pinagiisipan kung isusulat ko ba, nalaman ko ngayon lang din na "mj" pala pangalan xD

[writeinspace]

4/29/26 Wed.

Dunno what's with Toffee today but he chose to sleep on my side of the bed. He doesn't usually cuddle with us (probably because his fur is thick again already and it's too warm for him) so it's always a surprise whenever he comes up to cuddle.

[writeinspace]

4/28/26 Tues.

📍Kapetolio - San Pablo City, Laguna

Just tried this cafe while we were waiting for mom to do some business nearby. I'm not sure if they discontinued or what but I can't find them in google maps.

[writeinspace]

Yung overthinking at shower thoughts ko habang nasa banyo niflush ko na lang sa toilet.