Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYUâs top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldnât figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore offâand his feelings for you began to growâhe made it his mission to fix it.Â
Warnings:Â Mentions of alcohol/drinking, Mild language, Angst, Minor injury, Smut (Minors dni, marked with **), Enemies to lovers trope!
a/n: This series is now complete :)
ⶠPart One â¶Â
ⶠPart Two â¶Â
ⶠPart Three â¶
ⶠPart Four â¶Â
ⶠPart Five â¶Â
ⶠPart Six â¶Â
ⶠPart Seven â¶Â
Drabbles/One-shots (chronological after the main series, excluding the prequel)Â
Bucky realizing heâs falling in love. Prequel one-shot.
summary: You met Bucky while he was hiding out in Bucharest. Bucky dreamed he could have a life with you once things settled down. Unfortunately heâs forced to leave you behind when someone frames him for a crime he didnât commit.
warnings: language, brief vague suicidal thoughts, reader is like so miserable, there is a happy ending i promise
a/n: i've never posted my writing before and i'm super nervous so be gentle on me. i hope you enjoy <3
BUCHAREST 2016
You and Bucky met in the laundry room in the basement of your building, and when you found out he had just moved in you showed up at his door later that evening with an apple pie and a cheap bottle of champagne you had leftover from a get together with friends. He poured the champagne down the sink, but he did enjoy the pie.
A few days later he realized that he probably should've invited you in to have the pie and champagne with him. That would've been the gentlemanly thing to do, and something he wouldn't have hesitated to do if it were 70 years earlier. But he was on the run, he shouldn't be entertaining guests. For all he knew you could be a spy placed there to watch him, just waiting for the right moment to barge in and kill him. Or worse, take him to prison. But, in case you really were just a nice girl that lived across the hall from him, he left a basket of fresh fruit from the farmer's market outside your door with a little note that read "Bucky." After finding the basket you invited Bucky over for dinner.
It didn't take Bucky very long to fall in love with you. He didn't know if it was because half of his brain was mush or if this is just what happened when you met someone you think you could grow old with, but he didn't care. He couldn't remember much of his life, but he was fairly certain that no one had cared about him quite like this. When he told you who he was you calmly nodded and said "I know, I recognized you from the news. That's why I brought you the pie."
"As a congratulations for murder?" He had asked.Â
"No," you playfully hit his chest, "to let you know I'm on your side."
That was the first time he cried in front of you. He could never fathom that someone so nice and innocent who let bugs outside instead of killing them could care for someone like him. You always reminded him that his idea of "someone like him" didn't exist. It was never anything he did, but rather something that was done to him.
Of course the thought that all of this could change in the blink of an eye was always in the back of his mind. He had nightmares that he turned back into him. Sometimes he had nightmares where Hydra came looking for him and you were collateral damage. Other times he had nightmares where he killed you himself. He gave you a gun and made you promise that if he ever turned back you would defend yourself and turn him in, or kill him if you had the chance. You knew you would never be able to defend yourself against the Winter Soldier, but you promised, because for some odd reason you trusted him.
You spent a lot of your time cooped up in one of your apartments daydreaming about what your future could look like. He would lay on his back and you would lay next to him with your head on his chest and his arm around you. He would tell you how he would take you on a proper date at a real restaurant and you would talk about all the things you wanted to show him that he had missed.
Everything changed after the attack in Vienna. You saw on the news that they were blaming the Winter Soldier for the bombing and the murder of the king of Wakanda as well as several others. You both knew he didnât do it, but they were going to find him sooner or later.
A few days after the news came out you and Bucky went to the farmers market to fill up your pantries. He begged you not to come with him, knowing that people were looking for him, but you never listened. That was the only time you could go out in public together, even if you wore disguises. One of Bucky's nightmares came true though. There's no doubt that he was recognized while walking home.
You rushed back to your building with your heads down. As soon as you got into the elevator he handed you an old burner phone from his backpack. He told you to go straight to your apartment and lock the door, then to go into your bedroom and lock that door too. You started to cry and he wiped your tears, kissing your forehead.
"It's okay," he said, "I'll get in touch as soon as I can."
You nodded, putting the phone in your back pocket and wiping the remainder of your tears away.
"Don't look at anybody and don't come out until you're 100% sure it's safe. Don't try to help me. Just do as I say."
The elevator dinged as it reached your floor. Bucky gave you a final kiss on the forehead and sent you out, waiting a few moments before he returned to his apartment. You locked yourself in your apartment, but you didn't go back to your room. You pressed your face up against the door and listened for Bucky. You heard him enter his apartment, but there was someone in there.
"Do you know who I am?" The other voice asked.
"You're Steve."
Shortly after that you heard gunshots and fighting. You rushed into your bedroom and locked the door behind you, sinking to the floor against the far wall. You knew they werenât trying to take him alive. You sobbed as quietly as possible to not alert anyone in the building or outside the window that you were in there. You stared at the burner phone with tears in your eyes until you fell asleep, not even bothering to get up onto the bed. You donât know when the fighting stopped.
Two weeks later you were basically rotting away on your bed. There were no contacts on the phone he gave you, so you just had to wait for it to ring. You couldn't even contact him if it was an emergency. You had kept up with what they were saying about Bucky on the news. You knew he had been caught and you worried that he wouldn't have much time left. If he was even still alive.
You still hadn't left your apartment even though the authorities investigating Buckyâs across the hall were long gone. You worried that people would recognize you as "the woman with the Winter Soldier" as you were referred to on the news. There were blurry photos of you and Bucky walking home from the farmer's market that day. Your hat was covering your face in each photo, but who knows if others had seen you and could identify you.
When you saw the reports of Bucky fighting the Avengers as the Winter Soldier after breaking out of captivity your heart broke. It was a completely different person than who you knew. You should've been scared, but you weren't because you knew that wasn't him. It was his body, but it wasnât him. Then, when you saw the aftermath of the Avengersâ fight in the airport you couldn't take it any longer. The news anchor said they had no idea where Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had gone. Half of the Avengers were in hiding and you figured you'd better not reach out to the other half that were against him. You had lost hope completely that he would ever contact you or that you would ever see him again.
A week later you got your first call on the burner phone. The thought had crossed your mind that someone had stolen the phone and was trying to contact you for information on Bucky, but you would never miss an opportunity to speak to him if it really was him.
"Hello?" You answered cautiously.
"Doll?" It was him.
"Buck, oh my god, are you okay?" You tried to hide the lump in your throat from your oncoming tears.
"I'm fine. Are you okay?"
"I'm okay. I miss you so much," you answered.
"I miss you too, doll," he replied. "But listen, I have to go away for a while."
"What do you mean? For how long?"
You werenât hiding your tears anymore.
"I don't know,â he sighed.
"Can I see you before you go?"
"No, baby. I'm already gone."
He knew that if he kept talking to you he might change his mind and go back to you. This was something he had to do, and until they found a way to fix him he had to leave. Zemo was able to change him back into the Winter Soldier like no time had passed, and he didn't trust himself to go back to you like this. He had to either be cured, or be killed.
"I have to go. I love you, sweetheart," he said.
You cried even harder. He'd never told you that he loves you before. You always felt that he did, but you knew he was too scared to say it in case he lost you. You worried that he was saying it now because he was leaving for good.
"I love you, Bucky."
Bucky hung up the small flip phone and handed it to Steve who had just entered the room. Steve tried not to eavesdrop from the hallway, but he was so curious. It's not his fault he has enhanced hearing (technically it is).
"She doesn't have anything to do with the soldier. She was helping me get better," Bucky quickly tried to clear your name in case Steve thought you had anything to do with Hydra. Steve could tell from the hallway without hearing your side of the conversation that you were someone good for him.
"Is that the girl from Bucharest?" Steve asked, pulling up a chair next to Bucky in the small room he had been provided. Bucky nodded.
"She seems important," he added.
"She is," Bucky replied.
"How'd you meet?" Steve asked.
"She lived across the hall."
Steve visibly deflated. âWas she there that day when I found you?â
Bucky didnât say anything, giving Steve his answer. The guilt was eating Bucky alive. He knew how terrified you were and still are and he had to leave you there alone in your small apartment while they hunted for him like an animal.
"So, she knows about him?"
"Mhm."
"Why didn't you tell her what you're doing here?" Steve wondered.
"I don't want her to worry. If there's nothing they can do to fix me or if for some reason I don't wake up I don't want her to come looking for me. I want her to live a good life. She deserves that," Bucky replied.
"You think she's gonna just move on if you never come back?"
"She's better without me in the long run. I don't trust myself around her, and even if I didnât hurt her I still donât know how much longer Iâll live without being on ice anymore. She still has her whole life ahead of her," Bucky sighed.
"But what if it works, Buck? This is something good for you."
They have no idea how long the deconditioning will take if it even works. You could be married with children by the time heâs ready to see you again, and even if you werenât would you even want to see him? You werenât together very long, heâs not even sure if you were âtogetherâ, but he knows that he would do anything for you. You talked about your future together but did you mean it? Would you have really settled down with him?
He still canât tell which thoughts are his and which are that voice in his head telling him he doesnât deserve anything. But Steveâs right, he has to try.
"If she's still waiting for me when or if I'm free, I'll look for her."
He promised heâd look for her. He didnât say he would talk to her.
Bucky and Steve then said their goodbyes before Bucky laid down in the chamber to be induced into a deep cryo sleep. Heâs not religious, but he prayed up until he was fully unconscious that this would really work.
NEW YORK 2018
It had been almost two years since you heard from Bucky that day. After a year had passed you packed up your things and moved to Brooklyn. You didnât have anything keeping you in Bucharest and you figured if Bucky ever came back he would come to New York since that's where the Avengers facility is and where Steve lives. You never heard any word of him the entire time. Not even on the news.
You made friends and were relatively happy. You had a roommate, but you never told her about Bucky. You didn't want to talk about him like he was in the past, so you didn't talk about him at all. You didn't know if he was dead or alive but you tried not to think about it too much. And if you did think about it you pictured him happy somewhere else. Somewhere where he can be himself in public without fear. Free of his own fear of others and the fear that he would hurt someone again.
One morning when you were running errands in the city the wind picked up immensely as if a storm rolled in out of nowhere. The sun was covered up by what you thought were clouds, but when you looked up you saw a large ship hovering over the buildings and getting lower. People around you screamed and ran. Cars crashed into each other and were left abandoned on the streets as the drivers tried to escape. In the chaos someone bumped into you knocking you down to your knees. A stranger came over and helped you to your feet. Your heart dropped to your guts when you saw who the stranger was. Tony Stark stood in front of you.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. What's going on?" You asked shakily
"Not entirely sure yet. Wait a minute, you look familiar. Did we spend a beautiful night together years ago?"
"Definitely not," you scoffed.
"FRIDAY, who is this?" he asked.
An invisible robotic voice spoke, stating your name. âShe was the woman in Romania with James Barnes.â
Suddenly, the spaceship meant nothing to you. Memories of Bucky flashed through your mind like a slideshow. You hadnât allowed yourself to think about him this long and this deeply for months.
âIs he okay?â you managed to ask.
"Oh shit. Uh, okay, just go home and lock the doors alright?" he said, leaving to run towards the spaceship and its passengers.
You knew you should hurry, but all you could think about is when Bucky said the same thing that day he left, followed by the fact that Tony didnât answer when you asked about him. You started to cry as you ran home. Debris and parts of buildings crashed around you as you ran. When you finally got home you locked the door and ran to your room locking it behind you just like Bucky had told you.
"Are you okay?" your roommate, Jess, asked from outside your door.
"Fine. Just don't go outside," you answered, not even bothering to try and cover your sobs.
Just then a loud crash, screams, and honking rattled the windows of their shitty apartment. Jess went to the living room window and opened the curtains, finally seeing the chaos down on the street.
"Holy shit. What's happening?" she asked.
"I don't know. Tony Stark told me to come here and lock the door."
"Tony Stark?!"
You didn't have the energy to answer. You laid there for hours trying to ignore the outside world and hoped it would manage to spare you. Eventually, you fell asleep on tear stained pillowcases.
The next day you woke up to silence. You left your room to go to the kitchen to get something to eat. Somehow you had slept the rest of the day and through the night and you were starving. Jess wasn't in the living room or the kitchen though. You checked her bedroom and the bathroom but she wasn't there either. It wasn't like Jess to just leave without saying anything or leaving a note, especially after the chaos yesterday.
You looked out the window onto the street and saw the rubble and crashed cars. It was strangely quiet. No cleanup teams or police or ambulances. Usually you would at least see people walking, but there was no one.
Confused, you returned to the living room to turn on the TV and were met with videos of crying people in the streets and a panicked news anchor asking them questions.
"She was just gone," the woman cried, "One minute she was there and then she wasn't."
The scene went back to an anchor at the studio. The headline at the bottom of the screen read "MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DISAPPEARING OUT OF THIN AIR." Could that be where Jess is? And what about your other friends? What about Bucky? Is he gone or is he just as confused as you are? Was he even alive to experience this?
Half of the entire universe was gone and somehow you were still here. You remembered your silent prayers yesterday hoping that nothing would happen to you, now you just wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole. How unkind was the universe to give you the love of your life just to take him from you, only to find some sliver of happiness without him just for half the population to disappear and leave you behind to grieve. You donât know where the other half of the world went, but you wished you were taken too.
A few weeks later you heard a knock at your door and had no idea who it could be. You found out that every one of your friends you made had been a victim of the Snap and you got laid off from your job because there werenât enough people to keep the business running. You looked through the peephole on the door and were very surprised to see Steve Rogers standing on the other side of it.
"Hi. You were with Bucky in Romania?" He asked once you had opened the door. He knew he had the right apartment from looking up your records, but the only photos of you heâd seen were the blurry ones taken by civilians in 2016.
"Yes. You're Steve?" you asked. He nodded.
You let him into your apartment and offered him something to drink. He declined, but he was thankful. You sat in the chair next to the couch.
"Is this about Bucky?" you asked him.
He sat on the couch on the side closest to you. "He's gone."
"For how long?" you asked, assuming he had been gone after you never heard from him again.
"Since the Snap. He disappeared," Steve answered quietly.
"You mean he was alive this whole time?" Tears started to form in your eyes.
"Technically, yes. He was put in a cryo sleep for a long time until they could figure out how to get the Soldier out of his head."
"Did it work?" you asked. He nodded, tears were forming in his eyes too.
You sat for a moment just crying and staring at the coffee table in front of you. You didnât know how to feel. You wished you couldâve seen him even if he wasnât awake, or at least known that he was okay. Now that you know he was okay but that he was a victim of the Snap it was like losing him all over again.
"He would kill me if he knew I was here," Steve said, breaking the silence.
"Why?" you asked, wiping the tears and snot from your face with your sleeve. You briefly remembered you had company and should've just gotten a tissue but you couldn't bring it in yourself to care.
"He wanted you to move on and be happy without him. He thought he didn't deserve you," Steve answered.
"I love him more than anything," you said.
"He felt the same way."
NEW YORK 2023
Five years had passed since everyone disappeared. Steve reached out to you pretty often just to check on you and you were grateful for that. Heâs all you had left even if he was just your dead ex-boyfriend's friend from childhood who felt bad for you. Steve even got you to come to a couple of his support meetings. You never spoke though, just listened. You started taking antidepressants and they helped a little, but not how you would like.
One day Steve told you that they had an idea on how to bring everyone back. You didn't get your hopes up. Even if they were able to bring everyone back, would Bucky even come back to you? You told Bucky every day that he deserved you, and in fact, he deserved more than you. He deserved the entire world. It broke your heart to know that it never sunk in.
You never knew why you loved Bucky so much or why you couldn't move on. You only had 6 months with him but you had planned a lifetime together. You saved his life. He had told you he wanted to get married. When everything settled down and you could actually do things he wanted to marry you with a real wedding like what he thought he would have when he got back from the war. You jokingly discussed baby names and bickered about how you would decorate your house. In your fantasies you had a cat. It had been almost 7 years since that day and you still remember it like it was yesterday.
Everything changed when you heard Jess call your name from the living room. You jumped out of bed, running into the door on your way out of your bedroom, and ran straight into Jess's arms almost knocking her over.
"What happened?" Jess asked.
"You disappeared. Half of the world disappeared for 5 years. I thought you died."
"Years!? It felt like seconds to me. I was here and then I wasn't and then I was here again."
You tried to fill her in on what had happened while she was gone and the state of the world. You couldnât believe you were actually talking to her again. Once you calmed down from the excitement of seeing Jess again you realized something. You were actually talking to Jess again.
"What's wrong?" Jess asked, noticing your demeanor change.
"Bucky's alive."
"Who?"
NEW YORK 2024
It didn't take long for you to find out where Bucky was, but it took months for you to reach out. Before Steve left he gave you a man named Sam Wilson's phone number and said you could call him. He didn't say much about Bucky. Just that he was okay.
You kept up with his trial on the news, wanting to make sure he would be okay. Bucky was officially pardoned of all the Winter Soldier's crimes. You cried so hard that day you slept for hours afterwards and woke up dehydrated.
A couple times after that you saw Bucky with Sam on TV fighting together. He was in public fighting with the good guys. You'd never been so proud of someone in your life. The reporters were praising him instead of talking about his past.
For a while the news updates with grainy iPhone videos of Bucky fighting were enough. You knew he was alive and the Soldier was gone. That was all you could hope for him. But eventually you wanted more. You wanted to see Bucky, even if he didn't want you back. Even if he didn't even know you were there. You just wanted to see him with your own eyes, to know for sure that he was alright.
You finally decided to call Sam.
"Hello?" he answered.
You introduced yourself. âSteve gave me your phone number,â you added.
"Oh, right! I thought you'd call sooner," he replied.
"Been scared," you answered honestly. "Um, how is Bucky?"
"He's alright. Grumpy as ever and a pain in my ass but he's alright."
You giggled, knowing how stubborn Bucky could be. He told you how he used to be a charming ladies' man back in the day but that that part of him died. You never believed that it died, it was just hidden under the grumpy old man exterior.
"Do you think maybe I could see him? If he doesn't wanna talk to me that's okay. I just want to see him for myself and then I'll leave him alone."
"I'll tell you what, this weekend my family is having a party and Bucky will be there. If you can get down to Louisiana you're welcome to stay at my sister's place. And if it doesn't go well, I'll get you a hotel and a flight back myself. Sound good?" Sam suggested.
"Okay. Sounds good."
It did not sound good, but this was your chance to see him so you had to take it. If it went poorly you didnât know if you could handle it, but you had to try. So Sam texted you the address and the details and you booked a flight.
You had no idea what to expect. You didn't know if he would be happy to see you or if he would just be reminded of a terrible time in his life and would want nothing to do with you. What if he didn't even remember you? Did the cure of his trigger words erase his memories of when he was affected by them? Either way you were going to go. Even if you had to introduce yourself to him as if you had never met. Even if you had to just watch him from the shadows across from a crowded room.
That weekend you flew to Louisiana. You texted Sam as soon as you landed. He had offered to come pick you up but you refused. You didn't mind taking an Uber and you didn't want to pull him away from his family. Besides, you preferred to show up in secret in case you decided you didn't want to see Bucky. If you got there and changed your mind, you could just leave.
It was only about a 30 minute drive from the airport, and with each passing minute you got more nervous. You hadnât seen Bucky in 8 years. If he was in cryo sleep and then snapped away he'd only been away from you for a fraction of that. But, you had no idea what he's been through.
When the car pulled into the driveway Sam was there waiting for you. He helped you carry your luggage inside without being detected. You noticed Bucky's backpack on the floor by the couch, the same one he took with him when he left. Sam noticed you staring at it.
"He's right outside. I think my nephews are harassing him," he joked.
You smiled. Through all of this chaos you realized that Bucky was at a party. He's in public around people he's comfortable with and he's hanging out with children. You remembered when Bucky told you he was scared of having kids in case he wasn't a good father. He didn't want to turn back and hurt them. You started to cry.
"Are you alright?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just overwhelmed."
"I understand. He's there when you're ready," Sam replied. He headed outside to rejoin the party, leaving you to come out when you felt ready.
At this point, if you didn't go out right now you werenât sure if you ever would, so you followed Sam out onto the back porch and down the steps. You expected to see a scruffy long haired grumpy man like how you remembered him, but were frozen in your steps when you saw him with short hair and a recently shaved beard. He was smiling and laughing with the kids around him checking out his metal arm. You wished you took a photo so you could look at it forever.
Bucky stilled when he looked over and saw you. You couldnât tell what he was thinking. For all you knew he could be seconds away from running for the hills so he didnât have to talk to you. The kids kept pestering him but he couldn't hear anything. All he saw was you. Finally, the kids turned around to see what had caught his attention.
"Who's that?" One of the kids asked.
"That's my girl," Bucky smiled. He ran over to you and picked you up in his arms lifting your feet off the ground. He was squeezing you so hard you were afraid you would lose your breath. Obviously you donât have super soldier strength, but you hoped you were squeezing him just as hard.
"You're here!" he spoke through tears, pulling back from the hug just enough so that he could see your face.
You moved your hands to his cheeks and wiped his tears. You then ran your fingers through his new haircut and smiled at him.
"I missed you so much, Buck," you said, struggling to talk through your own tears.
"I thought you wouldn't want me anymore. It's been so long for you, I thought you would've moved on," he replied. "That's why I didn't go to you."
Steve had told him where you were before he left. He thought about looking for you, he really did, but he kept stopping himself and Steve wasn't there to harass him about it. So for months he lived in his new apartment knowing he was in the same city as you and not having the strength to reach out.
"I never went a day without thinking about you. I thought maybe you wouldn't remember me or you wouldn't want me anymore because I remind you of your past or something."
"Sweetheart, you're the best thing about my past," he told you.
He pulled you in for your first kiss together in 8 years. It felt the same as before, like no time had passed, except this time they were in public and he was surrounded by people who care about him. This time he wasn't worried about hurting you.
"You look different," he said, holding your face in his hands.
"Like how?"
"Like older."
"Not as old as you," you teased.
"That's true," he laughed.
"Your arm's different," you pointed out. You held up his metal hand and ran your fingers over it feeling the grooves. You didn't know if he could feel it with this new arm since he couldnât with the last one, but you did it anyway. He could feel it.
"They made it for me in Wakanda," he answered, smiling like an idiot.
"It's beautiful."
You put his arm down but still held onto it during the party like you were scared he wouldn't be there anymore if you let go. He loved that you were never scared of it. You always treated it like it was just part of him. You held his left hand just as much as you held his right, possibly even more, though you claimed that was because you have sweaty hands and the metal was cool on your palms.
Bucky introduced you to Sam's family and you didn't leave his side the whole night. Not that Bucky minded though, he was doing the same thing to you. Heâs not sure heâll have the capability to ever let you go. In fact, heâs already planning on how heâs gonna ask you to move into his apartment when you get back to the city.
Once the night settled down and everyone that didnât live there left you sat across from each other at a picnic table eating some leftovers from the party. You were watching the sunset, but Bucky couldn't take his eyes off of you.
pairing(s): mob!bucky x wife!reader
warning(s): threats, knives, slight blood, guns, slight angst?, shorter than expected??
summary: a nice, quiet dinner gets interrupted as your husband's past reminds you just how dangerous your lives are
everything happened in a flash, gun shots, blood splatters, and screams. you couldn't really complain though, you knew what you signed up for when you married him. he warned you continuously while the two of you dated, his life wasn't safe. but some moments were worth it.
there were five guns pointed at you, maybe more, which made bucky freeze. his eyes flickered between your eyes and the men around you. in between the chaos, some people had run out, some were huddled together in a corner, bucky was on one side of the room, while you were on the other.
men in all black stood around you in a semi-circle, parting slightly to let a man through. buckyâs blood ran cold as he locked eyes with him over your shoulder, causing you to turn around. your eyes locked with the one and only brock rumlow. you first met brock within the first month of dating bucky, the two having been partners at the time. but as the next 3 years passed by and you got married, the two had slowly developed a rivalry. both were now feared leaders of brooklynâs two biggest mobs. rumlow had gone quiet for a while so you had managed to convince bucky to let down his guard temporarily and take the two of out for dinner at your favorite restaurant.
âyouâre a hard person to find, jamesâ brock smirked, standing behind you. âIâm glad today was the day I found you, otherwise I never wouldâve been able to see her againâ
âtouch her, brock, I dare youâ buckyâs voice was deep, you could almost classify it as a growl as brock stepped closer. the second his hands touched you, bucky saw red. immediately lunging towards you and pulling you away from him as he blocked bullets with his arm. all five men that surrounded you were soon on the ground as brock was held at gunpoint.
the loud sound of bullets being fired registered into your head before you saw brock fall to the ground, slightly flinching as he did but you immediately relaxed as buckyâs arms enveloped you. apologies were whispered as he looked you over, making sure you werenât hurt, but you shook them off. you didnât want to say anything so instead just chose to lay your head on his shoulder, your arms softly squeezing his torso as he presses a kiss against your head.
so yes, this life was dangerous, but you knew he wouldnât let anything happen to you.
Catastrophe [B. Barnes] (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/261103706-catastrophe-b-barnes?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=aj-shook&wp_originator=iQkqdhsS9gBF6kZTwBMy6EpUuSHTlxEF0HWqxKr%2F7whAoSWPX7XPCZwJL7gOMNt%2FwJLFzswSLbyd2%2F1CVxK1JbqhdXG3pP%2F0MydZhbTGRvF47LGwc%2Be%2FkjYksMYRPhUG «until death does them part» in which a family forms in the pits of hell, over and over. Takes Place: TFA-TWS
relationship: Bucky Barnes x female reader, dad! Bucky x OC child
warnings: fluff, minor angst, mentions of pregnancy.Â
Bucky entered the home quietly, after so many years of being an assassin for Hydra and now an Avenger operating quietly came naturally these days. Without even looking he shut the door barely hearing the soft "click" of the doorknob latching into place. He listened closely, trying to determine what room you were in and a grin appeared on his face when he heard you humming. He dropped his duffel bag from when he had to stay at the compound for a mission by the door and made his way through the house. The light was on in the bedroom and Bucky walked in to find you rocking your daughter against your chest.
He stood in the frame watching you for a minute. There was no particular name to what you were humming but it was a familiar melody the two of you would hum back in Bucharest after a hard day to calm the other down. That was before Steve found you and Bucky and life as you knew it began to fall apart.
Things were better now, you had house in the middle of nowhere. Steve had it set up for you, mentioning something about "the Barton's" lifestyle. Records of your connection to Bucky or your daughter were not in any SHIELD databases. Steve was the only one who knew of your existence and where you resided. That's exactly how you wanted it. Being any closer to the Avenging life than you already were was not for you. You preferred the quiet, no where near the spotlight, and no giant target on your back.
Your daughter was about a year and a half old. She was a tiny thing when she was born. Part of Bucky didn't know how something so small and innocent had come from him. Regardless little Hanna was a carbon copy of her father. With a dark head of hair that was usually pulled into small ponytail that stuck straight up with a bow, and piercing blue eyes she was the light of his life, other than you of course. Bucky enjoyed watching the two of you have alone time, bonding between mother and daughter. The moment was over when Hanna picked up her head from your shoulder and looked towards the doorway, making some kind of incoherent noise that sounded like "Da" and pointing.
You turned around seeing your husband, looking a bit worse for wear standing in the doorway watching the two of you rock back and forth. Relief fell upon your features as you quickly crossed the room to hug him tightly. He was still in his uniform, suggesting that he came straight from the mission to see you. He typically did that, not wanting to waste anytime between finally being clear of the danger and seeing you at home safe with your daughter.
"Bucky." You spoke holding him at arms length, checking him over for any injuries the team might have missed.
"Y/n." He whispered as Hanna reached out for her father. He gently took her from your arms kissing her forehead softly "hello babydoll."
Hanna giggled and tangled her fingers into Bucky's hair pulling gently. She was excited to see her father. Missions were rough on all of you, Hanna didn't necessarily know why her father left every once and a while for a couple days. You were constantly worried about Bucky and Bucky was just trying to make it back home to you where he belongs. She placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek and Bucky smiled. He missed this, even if he wasn't gone for long he waited being away from the two of you.
"I'll get her in bed, you go wash up." You spoke framing his face with your hand. "Then we'll talk."
He took his metal hand and placed it over yours, giving your palm a soft kiss, and embracing your touch. Afterwards he gave Hanna one last kiss on the forehead and handed her back to you. "Goodnight babydoll."
You watched as his shoulders slumped and he walked to the bathroom that connected to the master bedroom. That was something you had decided early on in her life. No talking about work in front of her. She didn't need to listen to the things her father went through. You thought back to when Steve had found your shared apartment in Bucharest when she was just a couple months old. He had to fight his way out, leaving the two of you behind. You told him to, knowing the danger he was in. To anyone else you and Hanna were civilians, but one look at Bucky's conflicted face and Steve knew that his best pal in the world had found his own family. That moment had terrified you, especially when you heard Bucky had been arrested. You were sure you had been left alone with a 3 month old daughter until Steve found you afterwards, saying Bucky had a breakdown and needed you.
You walked Hanna into her bedroom and laid her inside her crib, letting her hold onto your fingers for a minute as you smoothed her hair out of her face, and gave her baby blanket to her. Hanna took it and giggled a little bit, something she was doing more often lately. You watched her for a moment more before turning on her nightlight and baby monitor and exiting the room, turning off the lights. The shower had just turned off and you heard Bucky step out of the shower. You approached then bathroom door, hesitating for a moment before walking in. He had a white towel draped around his waist and was unsuccessfully towel drying his hair. You laughed taking the towel from him and drying his hair for him. He hung his head down, giving you easy access to his hair. It was now that you got a good look at his body and assessed his injuries. You lightly touched his chest where a big purple bruise was extremely visible.
"Buck-" You spoke looking deeply into his bright blue eyes.
"You should see the other guy." He spoke trying to seem light hearted and you scoffed grabbing his face again.
"Are you okay?" You asked gently stroking his cheek.
"I am now that I'm home." he told you truthfully. "I took a couple hits doll, but I'm here, I'm safe, and I have both of my girls."
You blushed lightly and tried to hide your smile unsuccessfully. He tilted your head up to his and pressed a gentle kiss onto your lips. When the kiss broke, you kept your forehead on his almost like letting him know you weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
"Hanna is getting really close to walking." You told him and he smiled widely. "I guess I was worried about nothing."
"That's my girl, she's strong." He said his smile never leaving his face. "I'm gonna get changed, how about we watch a movie before bed?"
"I'll set something up." You told him and exited the bathroom placing the towel you had used on his hair into the laundry basket. You had done a hell of a job of getting him caught up on pop culture over the years of your relationship. You picked up the remote to the TV in your bedroom and turned it on, flipping through the channels and looking for something to watch. Before you even had the chance, Hanna's cries from the baby monitor rang through the room and you set down the remote rushing to see what the fuss was about. Hanna typically was a quiet baby, especially when it was time for her to go to bed so this was strange.
Walking into her room you could see she had pulled herself up into a standing position on her crib and was crying, tears streaming down her face.
"What's wrong Han?" You spoke softly, picking the girl up.
"Dada" She cried and you rocked her gently.
"Is she okay?" Bucky asked alarmed. No matter what, hearing her cry always seemed to freak him out.
"I think she just wants her daddy." You mumble giving her a sad look as she reaches out to Bucky who takes her gently. Â A loud noise sounds from outside and Hanna begins to cry harder. "What was that?"
"No idea." Bucky states already on high alert, he scans the area of Hanna's room seeing bright light coming from the outside of your home.
"What the hell?" You ask beginning to walk towards a window only for him to grab your hand pulling you back.
"Stay away from the windows." You could see the gears in his brain working. At the moment he was in Avenger mode, processing skills going a million miles a minute trying to figure out what was going on. He handed you your daughter and guided you back to the master bedroom, that was when a knock at the door sounded. You lived in the middle of no where, nobody should be knocking at your door especially in the middle of the night. He grabbed the handgun you knew he kept in his nightstand and went to investigate. "Stay here."
"Be careful." You told him grabbing his hand in letting his fingers slip through your own. He looked back at you and nodded, a strand of hair framing his face. You placed Hanna's head down on your shoulder rocking her back and forth to calm her down. Time seemed to pass eternally slow the minute he left. You sat in a rocking chair that was placed in the corner of your room, thoughts racing and heart beating a million miles a minute. A couple minutes seemed to pass until you heard Bucky's voice let out an exasperated sigh.
"Dammit Steve." He spoke and you loosened up a bit. "The hell are you guys doing here man?"
You hear multiple footsteps enter your home and slowly walk out of the master bedroom, Hanna attached to your hip. Her cries have turned silent but tears are still rolling down her face gently as she sucks on her fingers. Bucky turns around as he hears the quiet sniffling coming from Hanna and your eyes widen when you see the entirety of the Avengers standing awkwardly in your living room.
"We didn't have anywhere else to go." Steve told him. "Sorry for intruding Y/N. I know it's short notice."
"More like no notice." Bucky grumbled walking to your side and taking Hanna who had reached a small hand out to her dad. The daddy's girl seemed to not be getting as much attention from Bucky as she wanted.
"It's no problem," You spoke fiddling with your now free hands. "You know you're always welcome."
"Hold on, Barnes has a girlfriend? and a kid? And you knew?" The man you presume to be Tony Stark asks Steve.
"Wife actually." You told him. "Why exactly are you here though?"
"The compounds been compromised Y/n." Steve told him. "You know I'd never come here without it being an emergency. We would've called but we didn't want to risk having your phone being tracked. The quinjet has stealth mode, that's the only reason we weren't followed."
You took this time to take in their appearance. They truly looked worse for wear. Every word of what Steve said seemed to be true. Natasha had an arm thrown around Steve's shoulder and looked like she was about to pass out at any minute. Clint looked like he saw something out of his worst fears. Thor and Tony both had scratches all over them, some deeper than other and Steve was covered in rubble, his usually perfect hair sticking out in odd directions.
"That would explain why Hanna woke up." You muttered looking at your daughter who had fallen asleep on your husband's shoulder. "We have a couple rooms, you'll have to double up, and someone get's the couch, and there's a recliner in Hanna's room. She can sleep with in ours."
"Thank you lady Barnes." The tall blond Asgardian said graciously.
"Of course. We can talk more in the morning." You told them, grabbing ahold of Bucky's metal hand. "You guys look like you need to get cleaned up and some rest."
With that you exited the room, and entered your own, setting up a spare crib you had for Hanna. It was from when she was really young and required a lot more maintenance during the night than she did now. Still, it would get the job done for however long the Avengers were staying in your home. The thought was crazy, the avengers were residing in your home for who knows how long.
You heard the door shut behind you and turned to see Bucky with a sleeping Hanna. The duo looked adorable together and regardless of how stressed your husband was, him having Hanna in his arms always made him relax. For the longest time he thought he would accidentally hurt her with his metal arm, you of course knew he never would and helped him remove that fear from his mind.
"She's out like a light." He spoke beginning to place her in her crib only for her to begin to stir again and have him pause his actions.
"She missed you." You told him placing your chin on the shoulder that Hanna wasn't asleep on and looking up at him. "We both did."
"I know." He spoke, feeling guilty for being gone for so long. Part of him wanted to quit the hero life and live his life in your home quietly, watching Hanna grow up and the future children you planned on having. The other part of him felt like Avenging was the only way for him to make up for the horrors that he committed as the Winter Soldier. "I'm sorry Steve brought them here."
"Don't apologize Buck." You told him wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him softly. "It was only a matter of time. Besides, Steve looked terrified I'm sure he has good reason."
"I suppose you're right." He spoke suppressing a yawn trying to escape. "Why don't we get in bed. It's been a long week and I've missed you both."
You couldn't argue with that and settled down in bed with Bucky doing the same. He had Hanna on his chest and you heard her whimper the slightest bit to being jostled around but she quieted down once Bucky began rubbing her back.
"You're an amazing father, you know?" You whispered watching how gentle he was with your daughter. "She adores you more than anyone."
"You two are my world." He tells you and you work your way into his side, cuddling close and stealing all of his warmth. "You got me out of a dark place, I don't know what I would do without you."
"I love you more than life James." You tell him pressing a kiss on his chest. "You gave me our daughter, and we might have 6 avengers sleeping under our roof right now but I wouldn't change our lives for the world."
"Neither would I." He laughs quietly as to not wake up Hanna. "Even if my best pal is a punk."
"He sure is." You laughed with him. "Now get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow, you get to deal with the Avengers and I get to help miss Hanna  walk."
"I think you might've gotten the short end of the stick." Bucky says sarcastically and you nudge him gently.
"Avenging is your thing. Being her mom is mine."
"Yeah I know doll, and you're damn good at it."
___
The next morning you awake before Bucky, Hanna is fast asleep on his bare chest and you can't help but snap a photo of the two of them laying so peacefully together. You smile to yourself and reluctantly pull yourself out of bed, doing your absolute best not to wake the father daughter duo. Sneaking out into the kitchen you pull out pancake mix figuring that would be something easy to make considering the amount of people currently in your household. Around half an hour later you look back to see Bucky coming out with a bright eyed Hanna on his hip.
"Well good morning princess!" You cooed, tickling her sides making her giggle softly.
"I sure hope you weren't talking to Barnes." Tony Stark said appearing from the bedroom, looking much cleaner than he had yesterday.
"Very funny." Bucky grumbled and you kissed his cheek.
"Cheer up Buck." You scolded and Hanna copied your actions putting a slobbery kiss on her fathers chin.
"Why thank you sweet girl." He told her, eyes wide with amazement and his mood having done a complete 180. Hanna always had that affect on him, no matter what was going on in that mind of his, Hanna could make it better. You took her from his arms and strapped her into her highchair that sat right beside the dining room table.
"Breakfast is on the counter if you'd like some, help yourself." You told the Avengers that were staggering into your kitchen. Pulling a chair to sit in front of Hanna you began to cut up some pancakes into tiny pieces, you'd feed yourself with whatever Hanna didn't eat. Â You placed some on her plate and watched with a small smile as she held a piece out for you.
"Mama bite." She said choppily, and you took the food from her tiny fist with your mouth, thanking yourself for not giving her syrup. Steve walked into the room and Hanna's eyes lit up at her (second) favorite avenger. "Unca!"
You looked at Bucky and Steve who both had equally shocked expressions. Steve looked extremely exhausted from the past couple days and whatever he was dealing with but Hanna's newfound word seemed to put a smile on his face. "Your vocabulary is getting so big little miss!"
"She's got about a whole 20 words now." You spoke laughing as she shoveled more pancakes into her mouth.
"Sorry to interrupt the moment but we should talk about last night." Natasha said leaning against the wall. "How was the compound compromised?"
"I'm assuming Hydra isn't as gone as we thought." Steve began to speak.
"Steven Grant, you know the rules no business in front of her." You interrupted giving him a glare, he sheepishly looked down and apologized with Bucky giving him an amused smirk. Hanna was done with her breakfast, so you picked her up and took her to the bathroom. "Leave your dishes in the sink, I'll get them later."
"I like her." Natasha said nodding towards Bucky.
Bucky walked into Hanna's room about an hour later where you were reading to her and she was pointing at the pretty colors. There was a grim expression on his face and he tried to hide for a moment but failed miserably. You put Hanna on the ground, handing her a toy to distract herself with and stood up to grab Bucky's hands.
"You have to go don't you." You spoke, both you and Bucky's eyes began to tear up. He only nodded and pulled you into a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry doll." He whispered placing his forehead on yours. You swallowed your throat, Bucky leaving was never easy but the fact that the Avengers got their asses kicked and had to come to your home as a safety net? That made it harder. You didn't know if he would come back.
"You come home to us okay?" You told him authoritatively, holding back tears. "You come home and tuck your daughter in for bedtime, to kiss me goodnight, and to tell us you love us okay?"
"I will doll." He told you leaving was never easy, but the fact that HYDRA was involved this time? The main reason Bucky was plagued with nightmares and considered himself the villain of his own story? That scared the hell out of you. You couldn't bare them taking him away from you, from your daughter. You kissed him deeply, his hands grabbing onto your waist like a lifeline and when he let go he picked up Hanna and held her close. "Hey babydoll"
His words were gentle, and you heard him promise her he would come home, and if he didn't that he'd always be in her heart. That she was his greatest accomplishment. Of course Hanna didn't understand a word he was saying but it made Bucky feel so much better about himself that he had to before every mission. With that he grabbed you by the waist again, enveloping the two of you in a tight hug. "I'll come back to my girls, and I'll do my best to keep you updated."
"I know you will." You told him. "I love you James."
"I love you most." He told you. You heard a knock on the door frame and let go of Bucky's embrace to see Steve in full uniform.
"Hey, we've got to head out." He said sadly interrupting the moment. "I'm sorry."
"Just make sure he comes home okay?" You told Steve.
"Anything for my pal's best girls." Steve promised.
"I'll see you later doll." Bucky said giving your hand one last squeeze before walking out of the door. You waited until the house was eerily quiet to let out a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding.
____
It had been nearly a week since you had last heard from Bucky, a month since you had last seen him. You were worried, you always were when he went on missions. This one seemed to take longer than usual and it didn't help ease you're conscious at all. Since then you tried to keep yourself occupied. The house had never been cleaner, Hanna was pulling herself up and trying to walk along things such as the coffee table and even your bed frame once. As sad as it was, she wasn't let out of your sight much and you had her sleep with you most nights. Just to have some kind of company.
You were in the middle of doing dishes while Hanna sat in her highchair eating banana's. That's when you heard her squeal with excitement. Curious, you turned around dropping the plastic cup in your hand when you saw Bucky standing there. He had stitches in his forehead and a black eye and looked worse for wear but he has home.
"Buck." You whispered forgetting about the dishes completely and immediately running towards him. He caught you in his arms with an 'mph' and held you closer than ever before. Tears were streaming down your face as you hugged him. "It's been so long."
"Hi doll." He said refusing to let you go. "I missed you both so much."
"Daddy hug!" Hanna yelled at Bucky and he chuckled.
"I can't forget my sweet girl now can I?" He said picking her up gently and pulling her into a tight hug. She squeezed him as tight as her little arms could handle and you could hear her blow a raspberry into his neck. You laughed quietly wiping away your tears as he pulled you into his embrace once more.
"What happened to you out there?" You asked that night after putting Hanna to sleep in her crib.
"Hydra's done for." He told you playing with your fingers. "And I'm done working in the field."
"What?" You asked sitting up on your elbow and looking directly into his eyes. "No more missions?"
"No more missions doll." He told you. "I'll maybe work behind the scenes but it's time I leave Avenging behind. I want to be here with you, and Hanna and grow our family."
"I'm glad you say that" You spoke biting your lip. "because two kids would be a handful with you in the field."
"What?" He said sitting straight up.
"Another baby Barnes, coming to a cradle near you." You spoke. "Surprise."
"Really?" He asked, his eyes were wide like saucers and he sounded like a little kid with how excited he was.
"Really." You told him.
"God, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Y/n, I swear it." He whispered kissing you softly and placing his hand on your stomach gently.
"I love you more than life Buck. I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't found you."
Relationship: Peter Parkers x Reader, Dad!Tony x Reader
Warnings: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS, angst, death, the whole shebang
A/N; After the emotional rollercoaster that is Avengers; Infinity war, I have decided to write this in my moments of teenage angst while plotting to kill thanos the mad thumb Titan. (Iâve placed a keep reading to help you avoid spoilers at all costs if you havenât seen the movie yet!!!
Relationship: Peter Parkers x Reader, Dad!Tony x Reader
Warnings: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS, angst, death, the whole shebang
A/N; After the emotional rollercoaster that is Avengers; Infinity war, I have decided to write this in my moments of teenage angst while plotting to kill thanos the mad thumb Titan. (Iâve placed a keep reading to help you avoid spoilers at all costs if you haven't seen the movie yet!!!
You watched as Thanoâs disappeared in a blue circle, taking the time stone with him. As it closed you fell to your knees in defeat, had all of this been for nothing? Looking over you saw your father heal himself after the mad titan nearly killed him. While you were somewhat angry; you couldnât help but feel grateful for the man known as Steven Strange for saving your dadâs life. You couldnât help but wish that there was another way though.
âWhy did you do that?â Your dad asked Steven angrily. Merely crawling over you wrapped your arms around him and just sat there with your head in his chest. The thought of him dying was the final straw in your mind.
âI thought he was going to kill you daddy.â You whispered scared. He only pulled you closer.
âAre you okay?â He asks finally putting you out at arms length inspect you. For the most part you were unscathed and your suit had taken most of the damage. There were multiple tiny cuts littering your face.
âYeah Iâm okay, youâre the one who just took a stabbing to the gut. Jesus mom would kill you.â You let out a breathy laugh, while Pepper wasnât your actual mother you thought of her as one. Youâd rather her be your mother than the actual druggy that gave birth to you. Suddenly the thought of your boyfriend crossed your mind. âWhereâs Pete?â
âIâm right here Y/Nâ Peter said, his face was revealed and you were thankful that there were no cuts on his perfect self. Smiling you got up and engulfed the boy in a hug before kissing his lips gently.
âOkay, thatâs enough of the PDA. Iâll let the kiss slide considering we just took on a mad titan.â Your dad piped in before standing up and walking towards the two of you. âYou both did good kids.â
âThank you Mr. Starkâ Peter said his arm never leaving your side.
While everything seemed fine, it was over too soon. One by one the guardians started disappearing, disintegrating into dust. You looked around in confusion. What the hell was happening. Then your worst nightmare began to play out.
âI donât feel so good.â Peters voice rang out as he took a wobbly step forward.
âYouâre alright.â Your dad said denying the obvious fact at what was happening.
âI donât know whatâs happening,â His voice was shaky and it broke your heart as he collapsed into your fathers arms clutching onto him.
âI donât wanna go, I donât wanna go, Mr. Stark please. I donât wanna go, I donât wanna go.â Your boyfriend cried out as he was laid down. He was dying and you fell to your knees next to him touching his face lightly.
âNo, no, no!â You cried watching your tears liter the boys face.
âIâm sorry,â Peter whispered and before you knew it, he was gone. Nothing was left of him and you turned to your father in pain.
âDaddy, helpâ You mumbled as your body began to tingle. âI donât wanna die!âÂ
âNot you too!â He whispered and you watched your father become undone. âOh, god no please.â
âI love you,â You said taking your fatherâs hand one last time. âTell mama that I love her and that Iâm sorry.
The last thing you saw was your fatherâs eyes welling with tears. With that you raised your hand to his face hoping to brush away his tears one last time, but instead you felt your body begin to disintegrate into nothingness. You were just gone.
