The Struggles of a Writer

Just a random side blog where I'll write about my writing

[writerstruggles]

I've been writing

I've been focusing more on artistic things in my life this month than I did in all of 2016. Here's hoping that I don't put what I love on the sidelines for another year of being stuck in a rut.

[writerstruggles]

I haven’t edited/written in a while

but today, TODAY I will work on a scene I’ve been wanting to edit and then go back to the previous chapter. I’ve figured that if I linger too long on a chapter I’m not in the mood to edit, I will never get anything done.

It’s okay to skip a chapter in edits. You’ll eventually get there again!

[writerstruggles]

I remember telling an old family friend that I wanted to be a published author back when I was 17 or so. This person responded by asking me if that was logical because she thought I hadn't been writing since I was a kid. The point isn't that I HAVE been writing since I was a kid, the point is: when did being a writer since you were a kid become a prerequisite to wanting to be a published author in the future? You can be a writer who grew up writing, or you can be a writer who just found out how much you love to write. No prerequisites are needed, I think.

[writerstruggles]

I just want someone to fall in love with my characters. I want someone to wish they could meet my characters. I want someone to cry for them when they're struggling, and someone to cheer them on when they're succeeding. I just want my characters to be associated with a world of emotions felt by readers.

[writerstruggles]

I just thought through writing ideas and challenges in my book while the dentist fixed a couple of fillings in my mouth.

Find inspiration everywhere, I was told once.

[writerstruggles]

Writing on a day like today

With headphones on, window blinds open, and the world at my fingertips--I edited the hell out of my third draft today. Another chapter down. 

If I don’t have the courage to keep editing and writing, then no one will ever get to see my story. I have to keep fighting.

[writerstruggles]

Anxiety

For the longest time I didn't write. I thought it was writer's block. But then one day it hit me--my anxiety over whether anyone will ever actually give a single shit about what I write was crippling my dream of becoming a writer. I'm still dealing with that and I'll probably deal with it for the rest of my life, even when I begin seeing someone for my anxiety. I just have to tell myself that if I don't write because of my fear, I neglect doing something I absolutely love. Write through the fear--or better yet, write about the fear itself.

[writerstruggles]

Writing Life--Entry 2

Life is such a fickle thing.

We can pretend to have full control of it but at the end of the day, it is in control of us. We can write about it, or about how we wish it could go, but in the end, we are still the game pieces on its board. You can roll the dice and get one path, or roll the dice and get another. 

We are born, we live, we suffer, we die--this is life in its full fickleness. 

As a writer, I’m a life pretender. I pretend that I am my characters, fighting the demons in the dark, or finding that love that always alludes the greatest of romantics. 

I’m a pretender in a sea of the living. 

[writerstruggles]

Thinking About Writing--Entry 1

One thing is to think about writing and the other is to actually sit down and write. 

“Edit!” Suggests one friend. 

“Write!” Suggests another.

But sometimes my mind is going a million miles a minute and the last thing on my mind is writing. It is in these moments of silence that I then question myself and my writing ability. If no one is reading my writing, am I truly a writer? Am I truly going on the path that I wish I could be on?

So, I have to write. I need to do more than sit around waiting for that great moment of inspiration. I need to edit and I need to write. 

Something needs to happen because no one else will write this for me. It’s all great and good that I read, but if I’m unhappy with my usual life and I want to write my book, then I need to write. 

If writing is my escape, then I should happily open the door to this world it is offering me, right? Why do I keep locking the door? Why do I keep blocking myself from doing this one thing I’ve been doing for so many years?

I think I’ll write today, or at least edit.