wri

I sometime post deep shit

[wriwrites]

I'll make to sure to wash my hair before I do it.

Style it in flowing curls that will sit nicely against the pillow beneath my head.

I want my makeup done in the way I could never perfect when I was here,

It'll be easier to do with my eyes shut.

I ask you to apologise on my behalf to the people I love as I was never great with my words,

Atleast I won't stumble over them like I usually do.

I hope the man I wished to marry will find true happiness with the person that could give her all to him the way he needs,

I just wish that could have been me.

I beg that it won't break my parents to see me like that,

that they won't find me selfish or ungrateful for the years they've given me.

I ask that I can lay in a field of flowers,

Cover my pale body in them.

I wouldn't have been able to do that before,

I am far too allergic to pollen.

I'm sure knowing me I'll make a playlist to listen to,

I always have one for every occasion.

I just hope people come to my party,

I'm sorry I won't be there to see it

~ wri

[wriwrites]

I'm so afraid to lose the man I love.

But I'm so sad, deep within myself. And all he wants to do is help but I don't even know what I need help with in the first place. Some days I look at him and I see our children, and the house we'll raise them in, the pets, the love and affection we'll hold until our dying days but other times I feel so afraid of the idea of forever. The idea that one day we might break each other's hearts or I might lose him. Or I might over think and bring all of this down around us. Maybe I'm terrified.. I'm oh so fucking terrified. I'm terrified of myself, I'm terrified of the unknown, of dying, of watching him die, or leave or get so utterly sick of my shit and decide that he's just had enough.. I wont handle it because

I am so afraid..

to lose the man I love.

~ wri

[wriwrites]

He worships me like I'm the sun

Oh to see through his vision

But the light that shines in his eyes reflects in mine

And for once I feel content

~ wri

[wriwrites]

[wriwrites]

They only ever touch me in the dark.

Only when the room is silent and no features can be seen.

But I want to be touched in the light.

I want to be seen,

I want to be felt,

I want to be worshipped in the golden sun like I'm the last sip of water they'll ever have.

I want to bath in my insecurities and watch them wash away as a new light is shun upon them.

No longer can the dark hold questions unknown.

In the light it's just us and our bodies, vulnerable. no time for hesitancy.

One day I'll find my sun, I'll lay beneath that sun, and the dark will just be the distant past.

~wri

[wriwrites]

[wriwrites]

Peace is what I see, not too far from the present but just out of my reach. Maybe if my arms we're a little longer the flutter in my chest would be a bright yellow and not trapped in purple and blue. Peace, it's coming soon, I know it is. Just a little longer.

~ wri

[gretavanfleetposts-deactivated2]

I am unwell

credit to kiszkagvf on tiktok

[wriwrites]

The things I would do to this man 😩

[metamorphesque]

― Mieko Kawakami, Heaven

[wriwrites]

Stuck

currently I feel so stuck, so stuck in the life I'm living.

I'm not living a horrible life but it's not the life I want for myself. I'm about to finish school and Ive got a solid few friends and an amazing family, But I hate everything around me. I know the life I want to live, I know what I want to do. But it all seems so far away.

I want to travel. Go on tour with bands, party, hook up, connect back to nature, hike in every place I go to, listen to music, make music, Write, film everything and just live the way I'm meant to.

But I'm stuck here due to many reasons and I know it can't change for a while and it just upsets me beyond belief, it sounds pretentious and stupid but the feeling of being stuck and wanting more has become so overwhelming in the last few months...

I need to get away from the people and places and all the things I'm surrounded by and start fresh... as soon as possible.

~ wri

[wriwrites]

Closing my eyes.

I want to be able to close my eyes again.

Because right now, everytime I do I am taken back. Back to that night we spent wrapped in the bubble of each other, quick flashes of when it was just me and you and no one else.

I crave it so badly, I crave you so badly.

I can't even begin to fathom the feeling I feel when I close my eyes, it's like I can still see you.. feel you.

it's agonising because I want it all again. I want it over and over again until you've left me in a messy puddle on the ground.

When I'm close to sleep late in my bed, just as I close my eyes is when it happens.

I should expect it by now but it shocks me every time, the heat, the rush, the feeling, it all comes back until it's all too much for my body to handle and I'm left waiting...

Waiting for the moments when I close my eyes...

~wri

[wriwrites]