(And now, a one day late birthday present for the illustrious wulffriend, who will recognize this from the skype chat shenanigans)
The strip club was too dark by half and the music far too loud for Levi’s tastes. Squinting against the technicolor lights blinking across the disco ball, he spotted Fenton and Phantom sitting at a table against the stage. Moving around, he deftly avoided three lap dances and two waitresses to seat himself between the twins in time to see the pole dancers finish their act. “Classy place.”
“Don’t patronize pole dancers.” Fenton swatted at Levi’s head, only to miss as the shorter man ducked. “They are a respected profession with fantastic abs.”
“Are they?” Levi did a quick sweep of the room. “Where’s Eren? Or did you steal his phone again?”
Fenton shared a look with Phantom, glancing around the room themselves. Phantom shrugged. “Dunno. He was here, still dressed up in costume. Speaking of…”
“You’re still wearing that rig.” Fenton gave Levi a once-over. “Not that it’s not a good look, but that cannot be at all comfortable to wea–”
Fenton’s comment died on his lips as the music started playing the intro to Attack on Titan. On the stage, Eren staggered out with a small broom and a spray bottle of window cleaner in hand. Levi watched as his boyfriend sang along to the chorus – and sang badly, at that – while he tried to swing against the pole in front of Levi and the twins. Phantom winced when Eren fell onto his ass, turning to Levi to plead out of getting thrown out of the establishment while the shorter man’s empty seat stared back at him. “…oh no.”
“Oh my god!” Phantom’s exclaim drew Fenton’s attention back to the stage.
“Heichou!” Eren scooted away from the pole as Levi walked – no, Fenton realized with horrified fascination, as Levi sauntered toward the pole. Levi said nothing, but he had on the same determined face that he got whenever he entered what they’d dubbed ‘Heichou mode’. “I was just – the pole…”
Levi looked from Eren to the pole and back again, not breaking eye contact as one hand reached out and grabbed onto the pole. Suddenly the music changed, becoming something more, more… seductive. Fenton matched looks with Phantom, before whipping out their cells. Whatever was about to happen, it was worth documenting.
Levi’s right foot stretched out, the leather of the boot audibly straining as it waved in front of Eren’s face before twisting to curl around the pole just beneath Levi’s left hand. His other leg gave out at the same time as he let go of the pole, falling backwards. Left leg wrapped around right, and both hands took hold of the pole just above the stage and was it Fenton’s imagination or was Levi’s shirt coming undon– “Oh my god!”
His hands released from the pole, legs hooking around it and pulling him higher, his shirt falling onto the stage before the still-shocked Eren. Levi’s torso was freely seen by the entire room, the leather straps of the 3D gear crisscrossing all over his body as he bucked his hips. The action somehow kept moving Levi further and further off the ground, his arms outstretched toward Eren, fingers beckoning. The younger actor got onto his knees, moving to take Levi’s outstretched hands only to have them pulled away. Levi’s left leg unhooked itself from the pole as his right arm hooked around it, and he was left hanging freely in the air, the full might of his strength on display as he started spinning, a corkscrew move that started his descent to the ground. Once, twice, thrice, four times his abs came within arms reach of Eren, only for the younger actor to be pushed away.
On the fourth spin, Levi unhooked his leg, stopping his spin and hanging in the air, upside down, by the strength of just one arm. He hung there for several seconds, letting the act sink in for the audience, before his legs started moving, and then his body slowly fell backwards. Phantom choked out a laugh. “He’s moonwalking, oh my god!”
When Levi was parallel to the ground he stopped, the free arm reaching out to grab onto the pole, steadying him into place as his entire body started undulating, the leather straps shifting and straining against the motion. Red marks were being left all over Levi’s body, and before everyone knew what was happening Levi was dropping, dropping, knees bending as he twisted around, coming to a stop before Eren, chest thrust out as he came to a rest on his knees. For almost a minute nobody spoke, the music coming to an end, before cheering and applause started up. Fenton dared to glance at the entrance, and saw a pair of bouncers clapping and cheering along with the rest of the club.
Back on the stage, Eren had picked up Levi’s fallen shirt, while the short actor walked off stage and to back to his seat between the twins, Eren trailing behind. Levi looked between Fenton and Phantom, still shirtless, before tilting his head. “Are you just going to keep staring or are we getting on with the show?”
“Dude.” Fenton stared, he couldn’t help it. “Dude.”
“H-heichou!” Eren got pulled into Phantom’s lap, squirming to face Levi. “How did– what– what?”
Levi shrugged. “Gymnastics training. You didn’t think I got the role of the Elite Scouting Corps Heichou because of my dashing good looks, did you?”
Fenton was gaping now, his mouth fallen open. “Dude.”
“We are so getting a pole dancing pole!” Phantom paused, looking over at Fenton. “Hey, you think the super would mind the installation of a pole to dance on?”
Levi snorted, a fond smile on his face. “Idiots. My idiots, but still. Idiots.”