Doki doki motherfucker

28/she-her/♎️

[garaks-padded-bra]

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

[do-not-fold-spindle-or-mutilate]

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

[garaks-padded-bra]

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

[that-stone-butch]

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

[elfwreck]

[sadclowncentral]

the cunt who makes my life decisions (me) and the idiot who has to live with them (also me) somehow have diametrically opposed world views how am i supposed to live like this

[sadclowncentral]

me sowing: the harvest will be glorious. farmers tremble before my sowing prowess. i'm the king of the hill

me reaping: why the fuck did i sow all this. what the fuck. who let me have all these seeds. why the FUCK do i own a field. what the fuck.

[the-real-ted-cruz]

no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblr’s

[angstycatthatlikestea-deactivat]

the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others

[super-face]

I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated

[sneakyfeets]

[cryptognomicon]

Sign outside Tumblr: “This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. …”

[transastronautistic]

id: screenshot of tags reading “the wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happened”

[therobotmonster]

Sometimes you can hear voices from the trees...

[person-of-many-names]

I like your shoelaces

[avocadosfromfigaro]

Thanks, I pulled them out of a stump filled with fae water and now it wards off the President

[priorwaltress]

all babies are baby gender. you dress them stupid, in pumpkins and teddy bear suits

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[kosmogrl]

[glowingghosty]

@trans-seraphim

[hellsite-testing-ground]

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

[housegoblin]

lifes so hard

[mushbeast]

My Child

[willgrahamscock]

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

[the44th]

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[dinottosaurs]

An older comic from when I used to work at Build-A-Bear

[mtfoss]

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

[luxwing]

Lemme get a little sippy

[starlight-in-disguise01]

One of my favorite screenshots

[chrispineofficial]

saw an annoying post. but i’m being so brave about it

[chrispineofficial]

i’m obsessed with you. shall we get married

[shitboy96]

The joker sees this and thinks “oh this is just normal paving”

[sedoretu]

ohhhh so THIS is the twisted fucking cycle path