stupid AUs I came up with
everything is a convoluted romcom plot
- everything starts with isidor thinking, hey my son is in that special age where he's supposed to get married and give me grandkids
- well I still want him settled down
- so isidor starts flipping through science and medicine magazines, treating them like a tinder gallery basically, looking for palpable bachelors
- he finds one, he looks a bit quirky with his funny coat and his obsession with death, but hey, no one is perfect
- he starts corresponding with this guy, pretending he's oh so interested in his Grand Thanatology Project
- he offhandendly mentions that he knows an immortal dude, who so happens to live in his town, how convenient!
- in the meantime he sends a letter to artemy telling him that he needs to come back Right Fucking Now
- isidor goes to his most trusted collaborator, mark immortell, a big fan of big and convoluted things
- he tells him that they need to stage a huge catastrophic event so those two idiots are brought together by the nefarious circumstances and fall in love or something
- he rounds up every woman, man and child in town
- the townsfolk are also fans of big scale performances (it's a town of theatre kids, basically)
- only the children need a bit of convincing, but he bribes them with a sack of nuts
- grief and his gang of bandits are really an unhinged group of improv actors
- clara also is a super enthusiastic theatre person who's a bit too into method acting
- so the two Victims arrive in town, and the play begins
- everyone has roles to play, georgiy for example, has to pretend he has an identical twin who was murdered just before the arrival of this so called bachelor of medicine, oh no! what a tragic coincidence!
- isidor also "disappears," but he's really helping mark from the backstage
- some guys are actually instructed to rough up artemy a little, for "realism's sake" (mark's words) but they leave fake weapons around for the healers to find and "use" (each person in town carries a patch of fake blood so the two feel good about killing them)
- time for the Big Plot Event
- mark and isidor instruct the people to pump up dust and ashes up their chimneys to simulate the plague, put red paint on the buildings, so on
- some people have to play the role of the infected, hey not everyone can have the big roles
- through the placebo effect and gaslighting, the Victims really believe there's a Plague Going On
- and lo and behold they meet
- oh daniil is dropping the two hands line
- oh he's already in love
- "the show must go on!" mark cries, he's not stepping down from the biggest and most beautiful project he's ever put on stage
- so they double down on the plague thing
- mark even calls over aglaya, an ex understudy of his, who then also calls block, who used to be in a production of Six Characters In Search Of An Author with her back in the capital. they pretend to be the big baddies from the government or something
- the twelfth day comes to an end and the Victims both think they've got a solution to the plague
- they're invited to the cathedral
- surprise!! it's a wedding!!
- daniil strangles isidor
areudirty
izzy806
kaledo-art
2087
prguitarman
vaporwave
jacobvanloon
