X-Men Canon

Shit posts that are actually canon. I totally stole this idea from Fuckyesdeadpools post on tumblr.

[lhazaar]

supervillains fucking hate fighting the x-men because the teams change constantly and sometimes there are??? totally new people there???? fuck there’s a teenager who literally just has eyes all over his body. is he even technically a superhero yet or is he a student. who the fuck knows. how do we counter this shit

[airofwhimsy]

When one seems completely non-mutated and they’re like

[konakatomo]

@melazertyiop

[ayellowbirds]

And no matter which team it is, Wolverine is there. Is it the future? Wolverine is there. Is it an alternate reality? Wolverine is there. Is Wolverine dead? Wolverine is there.

[alliharkness]

Was Wolverine never born in this alternate reality? Wolverine is there.

[221bkaermorhen-deactivated20240]

Does Wolverine only exist as a non corporeal spirit? Wolverine is there.

[alliharkness]

Is Wolverine only a philosophical construct used to explain our place in an uncaring universe? Wolverine is there.

[221bkaermorhen-deactivated20240]

Is Wolverine only a theological concept used to explain mankind’s struggle against the universe? Wolverine is there.

[hurleyquinnzel]

Is Wolverine there? Another Wolverine is also there.

And let’s not forget when the villains just switch sides. Last week this guy was on your side now he’s next to Wolverine and kicking your ass. 

The only constant is Wolverine.

[roseverdict]

There are three constants in life: death, taxes, and Wolverine.

[generouslyandrogynousdragon]

This entire thread sounds like Magneto woke up at 3am, wrote the whole thing with his eyes closed, then rolled over and went back to sleep.

[goddamnwill-blog]

Okay this is one of the cutest things I have ever seen on twitter. Look at Angel and Charles and Erik. And all the others.

[x-mencanon]

we’re shrunken down and trapped insides someone’s body and fighting small flesh-eating aliens, it’s a perfect time to flirt with iceman

[x-mencanon]

Kitty Pryde gets pregnant with tiny aliens trying to murder her

[x-mencanon]

Me, brilliant and handsome government scientist: FUCK YOU, XMEN

Me, after my death satellite starts exploding with me still on it: SAVE ME, XMEN

[x-mencanon]

Wolverine once watched Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch bang.

[x-mencanon]

I was the physical double of a another character BEFORE they decided to retcon my backstory as being her clone.

#x-men canon, #submission

[x-mencanon]

Sebastian Shaw absorbs physical blows and turns them into power, so obviously dropping a house on him is the best way to kill him

[x-mencanon]

I got killed but still showed up for missions later.

[x-mencanon]

Making fun of people for their physical mutations is wrong and bigoted. Unless they’re a villain, then it’s ok for the heroes to make fun of their skin conditions, body type, or outright joke about them possibly being demonspawn.

[x-mencanon]

You mad, bro?

That time Professor X fucked with Magneto by building a helicopter without metal, then shrugging when said mutant, who was holding him hostage, brought it up

[x-mencanon]

Costume Change

That time that Storm didn’t really do a costume change, she just fried her outfit with electricity and it magically changed into her x-men uniform.

[x-mencanon]

Open Up...THE GATES!

That one time when anti-mutant protesters (who used mutant blood to give themselves powers) tried to break into the Institute and Jean Grey offered them a bill for the gates they broke. 

[x-mencanon]

The sewer people kidnapped me and dressed me in bondage gear again.

[x-mencanon]

My wife is a space bird, from space. 

[x-mencanon]

There is an empathic starfish revealing my inner monologue to the unworthy universe.

[x-mencanon]

When Ah first appeared back in the day as a villain, mah hair had two white streaks, one on either side o’ mah head. But these days Ah’ always drawn with just the one streak, usually in the middle. This was apparently such a big deal to some fans that the writers added it to mah backstory that the second streak was just dye Ah was usin’ cuz Ah was a teenager when Ah was a baddie an’ experimentin’ with mah look as young'uns do, but the other streak that Ah still have is real. Seriously, y'all, this needed a canon explanation? For shame, ya nerds.