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22 FEB 2016 // 8:05pm

always in this constant state of "too much" and "not enough"

15 FEB 2016 // 11:23pm

tired of being tired

08 FEB 2016 // 11:41pm

YOU PUT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING BEFORE ME, AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING YOUR LAST RESORT WHEN YOU'RE MY FIRST PRIORITY.

cherish the people you love while you still have them. soon enough, all that will be left is the memories. & boy do they kill..

25 JAN 2016 // 10:58pm

after pouring my heart out, you tell me to "stop already [because] you're making like it's the end".. and I wanted to say that maybe it is. but I didn't. and I still don't know whose heart I was trying to save-- yours or mine.

12 JAN 2016 // 9:18pm

clinging onto memories, a prisoner of the past.

11 JAN 2016 // 6:39pm

flashback to when we were just friends: sitting on the balcony, through tears you managed to say, “If I just showed her. If I just showed her a little more that I love her, maybe things wouldn’t be like this”.. I could tell you adored her. Still I assured you that you deserved better than some girl who cheated on her boyfriend with you, and lead you on, knowing that she would go back to her boyfriend in the end. But then you gave me your jacket, I leaned on you, and you put your arm around me. flashforward to today: It’s been about nine months since that night, and it’s you and me now. Ready to walk away, I think about what you said that night.. and wish you applied it to us.

04 JAN 2016 // 10:15pm

I know holding on hurts more than letting go, but I’m the type of person who would rather die before letting go of someone I love.

my heart hurts, and I don’t know if I can keep going on like this. all I want is to be a priority.. not your last resort. I put you first, always, above anything else. I’m not asking for the same from you, but I need you to put your whole self into this.. and if I cant have that, then you can’t have me. I want you, oh, I need you more than you’ll ever know. but if you don’t need me in the way that I want you to, what’s the sense. for you, I’ve tried so many new things.. why? because you asked me to, and I would do anything for you. but why should I continue like this if you wont step out of your comfort zone for me.. why should I keep bending myself backwards to keep you upright..

exerpt from a message I’ll never send #1

11 NOV 2015 // 11:11pm

I just want you to choose me, every day. I want to be your top priority, not your last resort.

11 NOV 2015 // 8:45am

second to your voice, waking up beside you is my favorite thing

08 NOV 2015 // 12:35am

is it possible for someone to be your soulmate, but for you not to be theirs?

#l0st

21 OCT 2015 // 10:37pm

its becoming more apparent everyday: im not anyones first choice. nor am I their second. or even third. ive been feeling like a “last resort” and honestly, im at a loss for what to do.

03 OCT 2015 // 1:23am

what I need from you right now, is a side that I haven’t seen much of lately. I long for the pureness and the playfulness in the way we used to act, and the feeling of being wanted for more than what lies beneath a zipper and button.

12 SEPT 2015 // 10:29pm

with you, im in a place of immense bliss and happiness, over come with a sense of peace and content. grateful for times spent with you and new memories made.

24 AUG 2015 // 11:11pm

sometimes I wonder what would happen if I let you live without me. even just for a couple of days. I’m easily taken for granted because you know I’m always there. I just want you to realize what you have but sometimes fail to acknowledge…

22 AUG 2015 // 1:47am

for each bad day you have, there are three good ones on the way. have faith that everything happens for a reason, and trust the Man above.

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