so much of char's counterattack just falls apart if you consider that char actually wants to do any of it or was genuinely planning to do that from the beginning of zeta. like, don't get me wrong, his ass was totally planning to drop axis on the earth, he wasn't going to back out of doing it. but also she's just so resigned to humanity failing itself and failing its future that it becomes the only way to push his ideals forward because that's the only thing he knows how to do since he has nothing else in his life
it's an overestimation of char's abilities tbh to be like "oh he always wanted to do that" and i think so much of CCA shines because it's such an annoying cry for help. the way he goes to the window to think, "amuro, i'm doing something extremely wicked" for no real discernable reason in the middle of buying off the federation... and the entire first 30 minutes of CCA is literally everyone that worked with char during zeta interacting with each other and hashing out a repeat of the conversation: "hey, there's no fucking way char's going to actually do this, right?" "hey, this seems so out of character, right?" i mean cmon. the whole thing feels like a last ditch-effort and also a suicide attempt (that char doesn't even actually know is a suicide attempt because she doesn't know herself either)
even amuro who has had his mind literally melded with char, who has seen char's inner mind, who knows all of its workings and why he thinks the things he does, is like "hey. there's no way you're going to do this right?" which also i love because the entire dynamic of char and amuro is built off of the newtype ideals of them supposedly being able to 100% get each other inside and out, but the systems of war and enemy ideology prevents that from ever amounting to anything actually meaningful especially after lalah dies. in the last moments of CCA amuro is still completely fucking baffled by char & ultimately that's how humanity is able to reject and repel the axis drop. you can crawl inside of someone's skin and understand them entirely but it still isn't enough to save them, it still isn't enough to take that back with you and into your own body in a meaningful way when the world pits you against each other, when your values prevent that communication. you still have to kill the person you get the most in the world. you still go back to who you are and look at them and say "i don't understand you"
and that's exemplified more in CCA because all of CCA is built on char playing a role she doesn't even want. in zeta before she makes the huge broadcast speech to turn the tides in the favor of the AEUG she remarks to amuro how politicizing on such a huge scale makes her feel like she's going to play the part of a clown. bright keeps him off of the battlefield after that big speech is given because all of a sudden char has turned into a figurehead for the AEUG overnight and him dying on the battlefield will kill their momentum. char is always like "hey, send me out there in the hyaku shiki to help kamille," and they never do.
cut to CCA where char's all ready to go for speech #39840324 with his hair slicked back out of his face and wearing his uniform saying "i feel like a clown." char believe he is right but he also doesn't want to do it. it's just a matter of him picking 'being right' over 'wanting' anything because simply char hasn't been allowed to get anything he 'wants' and so he doesn't know how to do it anymore. the only person who can provide him that comfort is literally amuro because of their newtype connection.
against all odds char feels slightly indebted to amuro for being the only person who's been able to decimate all of his masks so who else is even going to be allowed to kill him? no one else will be killing char for "Being Char" dying at the hands of anyone else it would simply be killing "the guy who is trying to blow up earth." only amuro is allowed that privilege because char can't let down his guard around anyone else; he doesn't know how to & that's the whole crux of reccoa's arc in zeta
idk i just like it. people who watch CCA and think "why did he do any of that it makes no sense" yeah that's the point. you're supposed to be sided with amuro and everyone who doesn't want earth to fucking explode kdjflkjds you're supposed to align with the power of humanity literally repelling axis, saying, "i don't get you, char!" and in that way you have given your soul to the aurora that allows earth to keep on existing
