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ilovesmoothjazz1998

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

me, in september when the leaves started changing and the weather was a little cooler: seasonal depression WHOM??????? i am healthy and HAPPY and i LOVE fall! pumpkin spice lattes yas! what was i THINKING? i’m remembering it as worse than it was in years past!!

me, 8 days into november when its freezing and getting dark at 5pm: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. oh oh oh OH. oh ya………

weaponsofclairvoyance

a waitress could slit my throat and I’d still tip 15% i dont know how her day’s been yknow?

weaponsofclairvoyance

i hear your responses and i just wanna say obviously i usually tip at least 20 like im not an animal. but to be completely fair she did kill me

lyricdissonance

perhaps my favorite thing to happen to me at work was when i was taking the order of this tall 30-something country dude in a camo hat and jacket and he asked what extra toppings he should get on his pizza and i immediately said “whatever you want, follow your dreams” and in the following moments where i’m thinking shit why am i talking to this large southern man like a fellow college student he just looks forward at our selection of extra cheeses and repeats to himself “…follow my dreams”

neonprotagonist

op what extras did he order though don’t leave us hanging

spartanlocke

My favorite plottwist in Skyrim is when you ask Serana how she feels about her vampirism and if she’d turn back if she could and you’re fully expecting the classic sob story “Oh it’s terrible the sun hurts my eyes and I’m constantly having to wear eyeliner what a curse it is to be a creature of the night” but instead she’s just “Oh it’s pretty chill.”