A myriad of fuckups.

Kylo ren doesn’t deserve a redemption ark.

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

lil nas x is out there living his best life. first he was a funky cowboy. then he was some kind of futuristic cyberpunk superhero. now he's a latex wearing vampire from the matrix and i couldn't be happier for him. what an icon.

[unpretty]

julius caesar as just Some Dude is tripping me out

[improbabledreams900]

Cleopatra:

Louis XV:

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

julius caesar yells at the einstein bros. manager daily

cleopatra is writing her PhD thesis and is sick of people undermining her intelligence

louis XV is a business professional currently being investigated by HR

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

more takes from yours truly

nefertiti is a child star who fell from grace but rose again like a pheonix

alexander the great is ***NOT GAY*** and on academic probation

caligula is under investigation by the FBI

[nitethekitten]

Alexander the Great is also Logan and Jake Paul’s missing brother

[youlovetoseeit]

[lindsaychrist]

[childhoodruiner]

[weaver-z]

I rarely have a visceral reaction to a TikTok but this one... this one got me

[weaver-z]

List of wild things in this video:

- The guy whose computer screen you can see at the start is looking up “what to do if a dog has rabies”

- The unbroken wall of hydroflasks in front of the teacher’s podium

- Good Mythical Morning poster

- Inexplicable “NO TALKING DURING RAZOR LOVE” sign

- The guy next to the videographer just has the letters “WBOEOADRS” in giant font on his computer screen

- The teacher knowing to pause for booing after he mentione Ashe County Middle School

- The kid that yells “I hate them!” enthusiastically

- A sign that says “NO FREAKING” with a picture of two stick figures having sex

- Hand-painted “educasion is overated” poster

- The fact that the class knows to say “standing by” when he tells them to stand by

- The woman literally waiting outside the door to hand over the dog

- The tenderness with which he handles the dog before he announces its imminent demise

- “DO YOUR BUCKING VOCAB”

[stolentweets]

[garkgatiss]

#have you seem michelles arms #she dont need no help carrying a mini fridge 

[ericgeller]

omg

[wallofdis]

I can’t find the video but he told a really funny story about how Michelle and the girls were like a military operation decorating the room and he was standing there useless so they told him to put an Ikea lamp together and he completely fucked it up.

[its-all-about-the-eyes]

My favourite part about that family is the former President is somehow the dunce of the group.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[toastbutteregg]

cont: she said that the guy turns out to be someone the drunk girl just met that night 

[crimeshetyped]

This is so smart, I would’ve never thought to do this and I’m glad there’s ladies out there who do and share it with us 💕

[lgbtqiapositivity]

Support nonbinary people who veil.  Whether you wear a hijab or a turban or a tichel, you do you.  Your gender is valid, your faith is valid, and so is how you express it.  It is not contradictory.  I’m proud of you.

[m0rtemos]

thisthisthisthisthisthis

[arthriticjester]

I’ve been scamming the Dominos app promotion where you take a picture of any pizza for free points. For three weeks in row, not only has their shitty camera always interpreted any photo of my cat as pizza, I always tell them it was “the worst I’ve ever had” and “made at home”.

[dawnstar137]

Excuse me @crooked-fingers may i see a picture of your cat plz? This sounds genuinely awesome.

And I just love cats

[arthriticjester]

Here he is, the Pizza Boy

[arthriticjester]

And so it continues

[arthriticjester]

Mmmm, another week, another delicious pizza.

[arthriticjester]

That’s all, folks. Six cat pictures within six weeks, and for a total of 60 Dominos points, redeemable for a medium 2-topping pizza of my choosing. I will be getting pepperoni and chicken, mine and Charlie’s respective favorites. He will be given many tiny pieces of chicken for being a perfect little model pizza boy, and also for aiding me in tricking a multimillion dollar company into giving me free food. Thanks for giving him the love and attention you all have given this post! He’s gonna try to stay humble.

[eternal-fractal]

GUYS REBLOG THIS THIS COULD FEED A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO NEED A MEAL

[mothman-76]

This also works with pictures of pizza. So if you take a picture of an image of pizza from a computer or other phone it works. That’s how I did it!!

[sandandglass]

[lilobears]

[safitheartist]

For context: This guy is a ex cop who is there to expose the fact that police heavily manipulate these statistics to cover up the truth. He aint a bad person who is lying, he is a good person who is pointing out that the police is lying.

[goldenballads]

Anushka Shetty and Prabhas in Baahubali: The Conclusion (2017)

[sourcedumal]

This is everything

[thecheshirecass-deactivated2018]

This is quintessential Battle Couple™ and I am 110% here for it.

[merrybitchmas91-deactivated2019]

While you were busy studying bow and arrow, I was also studying bow and arrow, love you babe

[socialdisease609]

Yo, man. Bollywood creativity never ceases to amaze me 😂💞💞

[bartmeise]

@fivefootab1tch

[mjalti]

why does using someone’s name in conversation feel so intimate, like the way a touch feels gentle as someone is fixing ur hair or brushing out a stray strand

[mjalti]

someone: *uses my name to address me* me: oh my God, i am a physical entity… …..

[humofnight]

i love one (1) disaster wizard

[curlicuecal]

It’s a good metaphor tho, because the situation is never going to get better if you don’t eventually pull the door. And afterwards, no matter what the damage was, you’ll have a working cabinet, whatever plates you could salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.

[artbymoga-deactivated20200516]

Reblogging for that comment ^

[starjeweled-alpenglow]

Hats off for negative jokes turned to wholesome posts

[rosarenn]

So this was me for a long time. Afraid to open the door, certain that all that I was would crash and break. That I could never be repaired.

But I opened the door.

And what fell out and crashed to the ground was not me. They weren’t my dishes.

They were other people’s dishes.

Put inside we without my permission, when I was too young to know that I could not hold them all.

I opened the door, and I’m still here.

It turns out, I’m not that fragile.

[randomslasher]

Oh damn it got better

[knight-of-time64-deactivated202]

THANK YOU TWO FOR MAKING OUR LIVES A LITTLE BETTER

[headboardlights-deactivated2021]

So, you wanna wear your cool pants with your cool shoes.

Your pants have a super cool print and you wanna wear em with some bitchin boots, but the problem is, even though they fit fine, they do this with the boots:

So you’re like, okay, cool, I’ll just cuff them, but then you realize you can’t because they look like this on the inside:

So now you’re like aw man what do I do?? I want the cuff to match the pants but they won’t :(

Step 1! Fold the hem up about to here, make sure the fold is crisp and clean all the way around:

Step 2! Fold the white part up again so it’s the same width as the original hem, keeping it crispy:

Step 3! Fold that original hem down and over, and you guessed it, crispy again:

You have now created a cuff that matches the rest of your pants! Now go, wear your stompy boots with funky pants and be gay

[ginger-ale-official]

You will respect black cats or you will respect these hands my friend

[valtsv]

the whole “i’m an evil monster because i have to kill and eat innocent people to survive :’(” angst in ‘regular human gets turned into supernatural monster’ stories is so stupid. like how is that even a problem??? there are also plenty of corrupt billionaires, abusers and cops out there for you to snack on

[valtsv]

everybody’s like “eating the rich is the only ethical consumption under capitalism” until they actually have the opportunity to actually eat the rich 🙄 smh

[valtsv]

what we do in the shadows is the only one that Gets It