His Dark Materials Characters in Modern-Day England
Tenured professor at Oxford
Invented a wholeass esoteric field because none of the existing fields suited his Vision™️
Has never given a student an A
All of his students have a crush on him. He knows. He doesn't give a shit
Almost gets fired once every week, despite his tenure, because he can't #beneutral
Outspoken about Palestine
Made a zionist colleague cry once, shrugged, and continued sipping his tea like nothing had happened
Was asked by the headmaster to make a formal apology to the colleagues he offended. Asked Lyra to put a presentation together for his "apology." Presentation was gen z memes that made the situation 10X worse
And that was the first time he actually laughed
Visiting professor at Oxford. Originally a professor at Bern, Switzerland
Likes to remind Asriel that his lab equipment sucks and her experiments will always be better because she's actually Rich and not a sad excuse of an aristocrat like him
Hot chocolate? It's chocolatl, you simpleton
Keeps track of Lyra's scholarly accomplishments
Once threatened a colleague because they said they'd fail Lyra
Generally a bit too invested in Lyra
Has small moments of gae panik whenever Mary passes by
Tried to get Asriel fired. Not because she's offended by his ideology or because she necessarily disagrees with him; she just.... wanted him to get fired
Is canonically an Oxford professor in modern-day England
Calls students by nicknames
Brings snacks to the class
Barked a laugh at Asriel's presentation but quickly clamped her mouth shut and pretended nothing had happened
Is somehow never intimated by Marisa's glares
Smiles at Marisa. Knows Marisa is just a flustered gae so she's sympathetic
Says she doesn't have favourites but Lyra is her favourite
Of all her professors, she only likes Mary
The only reason she made that presentation for Asriel is because she's an outspoken pro Palestine supporter herself
Campaigns and advocates and Would Not Be Silenced no matter the cost (Asriel is high-key proud but would rather die than tell her. He expresses his appreciation by sneering and rolling his eyes at her when she does something brazen)
She and Will adopted a cat together
She also adopted a pine marten, much to everyone's horror
Is friends with the staff at her dormitory. And the security guards at her college. And the bakers and cooks and florists and that one shoe-shiner, but somehow doesn't have any friend with her in class
Literally everyone likes him
Study-a-holic, workaholic, good-deeds-a-holic
Organises fundraising events to support people in Gaza
Once hit a person. Police arrived. They apologised to him. Won a medal
Has major beef with Marisa
Shows up every once in a while to stir some shit
"Concerned citizen" (major Karen)
"Philanthropist" (takes money from people)
Asriel beat him up once too
Why is he still alive again?
He isn't; Marisa killed him
