HeyLee "Xelerim" Manzeron

Artwork by phoenix-fire-soul.deviantart.com

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I blinked, and five years have apparently passed since I’ve logged in last, whoops.

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I took nearly half a year off of dance music production to clear my head. This is my latest dubstep/drumstep/edm track that I just dropped on Soundcloud. It’s also the first dance track that I’ve sung on since 2015!

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I honestly never thought I’d make it to my 21st birthday.

Trigger warning: Suicide/Depression

I remember all the countless times I tried to end my life when I was a teenager, I even remember writing my last suicide note on my 17th birthday and telling myself that I was going to end it before I turned 18. I remember feeling so empty inside, and feeling unbearable depression that I thought would never end, I remember locking myself in my room for nearly a year without seeing any friends at all. 

Obviously I made it to my 18th birthday, otherwise I wouldn’t be here now, but I’m finally at the point where I can look back at my past and not feel like everything bad that ever happened to me was my fault. It’s my 21st birthday this Saturday, and I can honestly say that I’m happy for the first time in years, and my happiness is finally consistent. I don’t know what I did, or how I even made it this far, but I’m so glad that I’m alive.

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I’m turning 21 in a few days, and I’m honestly so nervous, BUT I WILL LIVE.

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I ended up recording an instrumental metal version of Bring Me The Horizon’s “Follow You” just because I thought it would be interesting to hear a heavier version of it. Turned out pretty well, and it’s my first full-length cover of a song on YouTube!

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This was honestly so much fun to record.

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I play guitar on YouTube!

I just made a new Tumblr blog for my new YouTube channel, where I do guitar covers and original compositions. I don’t have any followers yet, but hopefully I’ll gain a few ^_^

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I used to have a real problem with online gambling, and seeing as the underground skin gambling scene in CSGO has recently come under fire, I thought I’d give my personal opinion on the subject.

I obviously don’t gamble anymore, and I don’t recommend that you do either.

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My pupper is very grumpy and tired today. Rest well, pupper.

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A couple of days ago I came out with my first EP under the name Xelerim, I feel like I’m finally getting my head around electro house production.(The first track is technically dubstep, but the other two aren’t)

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I’m actually able to keep myself busy for the first time in my life without feeling overwhelmed, I like this uwu

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Due to the recent update of the bullying section on the YouTube terms of service, some of the bigger channels(ie leafy, drama alert) may be in hot water, here are my honest thoughts on the situation.

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Since I am completely out of ideas for videos as of now, I decided to do a video on how I overcome procrastination. I probably shouldn’t be on Tumblr right now, since procrastination is a massive problem for me, but you get the idea, enjoy!

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I thought I’d make a video expressing my opinion on the whole “Keemstar outed Pyro” non-consensual face reveal thing.

Unless people start respecting other peoples privacy, and their rights to anonymity, YouTube is seriously in trouble. 

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100 subs q&a

I just hit 100 subscribers on YouTube, so inbox me your questions and they might end up in my next video!

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On trans day of visibility I will remain invisible because of my family. I wish I were allowed to be happy, but I don’t have that privilege 

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I finally got a Karambit! I’ve been wanting one of these for sooo long, super happy with it and I can’t wait to rack up some kills with it.

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I did a video on five reasons why I love Fallout 4, I’m really getting into the groove of making gaming-related videos, and I’m still trying to get my channel off the ground, so I hope you guys enjoy!