I Am A Dean Gal

I love him thou

[xemmaleexx]

Slightly Different.

This time around Mary and John didn’t have a very good marriage. Not at all.

Dean turned out to be a momma’s boy through and through. Then she died.

She had diaries, journals that dean would read as soon as he could. To hear the voice of his mother in his head. Just one more time.

He knew John was not a good man.

Dean loved Sammy, but he would be better off without Dean around.

The last straw was when he went Sonny’s Home for Boys.

He was there three days before he ran away.

He was 26 now. Ran his own diner, fixed cars on the side. He hadn’t heard from his father in years but he kept tabs on Sam. He was proud of his brother for going to college despite where they came from. Sam was good and so was Dean.

Then Dean started having dreams. They were weird. Nothing more then white light that moved like the heat off asphalt in the summer. A ringing so bad it made his ears bleed.

The best part was the warmth. It encased him. It made it bearable, the pain.

He had a car accident. He didn’t make it. He was dead, in hell. Getting tortured then doing to same to others. 80 years.

Then the sky spilt, the false sky cracked open only for seconds taking him with the light as it retreated past the space between, on on up to earth.

Dean woke up buried, silent and cold.

He dug his way out, gasping for air as he did.

As he pulled his legs out of the grave he saw there was a man standing at the end of grave. His grave.

He had black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was staring right at him too.

The man spoke “ Hello Dean Winchester, I am Castiel Angel of the Lord . I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition”

“Why?” Dean said

“Because I know what you are, and who you are to heaven. A Righteous Man.

[ryliith]

You called me "angel" for the first time,

my heart leapt from me

You smile now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth

And what's left of it, I listen to it tick

Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me

Unknown / Nth - Hozier

[diornies]

everything, everywhere, all at once

[blueberryexistence]

Unreal Unearth is my favorite album ever and there's only four songs out

[andtherestishistory13]

POV: You’ve just listened to Hozier’s Through Me (The Flood)

[xemmaleexx]

I haven’t posted anything in a while 🤷🏽‍♀️

Don’t worry fans of Dean Winchester, more to come soon ;)

[stardust948]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

~*~ 

“If she was here, don’t think she’d approve of me sneaking out to fight villains and giant monsters.”

“No, I don’t so.” Katara laughed. “I’ll keep your secret though.”

The Blue Spirit pulled close until they were inches apart.

“You’ll really keep my secret?” he asked faintly.

Katara’s lips went dry. Her brain screamed at her to change the subject or remind him of the dangers. But she wanted to know the boy behind the mask so badly. The boy she had fallen in love it.

“With my life.”

~*~

[thefriendlypigeon]

A moody autumn themed, slightly spooky Supernatural artwork :) I LOVE drawing these kinds of artworks, but rarely find the time to. So here you have it! :D

📣Consider supporting me on Patreon!

👉COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN👈

Want a print of this? Click here!

[my social media links]

[xemmaleexx]

Fireworks

As a Angel Castiel had seen many things

Many many things.

Nothing more beautiful then Dean winchesters face at the sight of fireworks,

His brows raised, a smile that’s not quite there. His lips form the shape of an o at the different colours and shapes In sky.

Many beautiful things, nothing more so then Dean Winchester.

[xemmaleexx]

Pretty Boy.

Dean had pretty lips. Girlish. Pink.

He knew that.

He was 12,it was winter and only a month shy of his next birthday.

His hair was shaggy the longest it’s ever been

John had been gone two weeks,

Sam was hungry, so was dean.

It’s started with a Kiss

Then it turned into more

Always more.

He stopped at 16

He could kick ass at pool, he looked old enough now. Just barely.

He shaved his head

A soldiers haircut.

And he forgot about the stench of backwards gas station bathrooms.

The heavy breaths.

The ringing in his ears.

Sam didn’t starve. That’s what mattered.

[xemmaleexx]

Purgatory.

Dean would never admit it but there was something about being in purgatory that was peaceful.

It was pure.

All he could think about was CAS Killing,

It was natural, all of the blood dried and caked staining his skin. CAS.

CAS

CAS.

CASTIEL

It was pure, nothing about it was tainted with hate or loathing.

No one to tell him why to do our how to feel. Dean was Dean.

Find The Angel

CAS

CASTIEL.

Dean was free, almost. He needed to get home. He needed to find CAS.

To kiss him.

To tell the angel he loved him.

Home to Sam. To Earth.

Dean was his purest form of self in purgatory.

.FIND CASTIEL

FIND CAS.

[xemmaleexx]

In this version, humans have soulmates.

Telepathic connections

All unique and beautiful.

Some heard songs, others spoke to one another in their minds, others would dream of their other halves.

Then came Dean Winchester, it’s safe to say he didn’t have one.

27 years of silence.

Nothing, not a word, a tune nor a dream.

He felt so alone, broken,worthless

So he did the best he could,

Protect Sam. Follow orders, Be a Good Soldier.

God he was so tired, of it all, of being alone.

He was dragged down to hell kicking and screaming.

He knew it was coming.

40 years, silence

Then he heard it,

A voice, booming, in his head

the most beautiful thing he would ever hear, blue light that bought warmth and a smile to the broken man’s face. Visions of a river flowing through trees, of fire works in the sky. Dean smiled truly for the first time in decades, a voice that was his.

The beautiful voice had said,

“Dean Winchester Is Saved”

[xemmaleexx]

[xemmaleexx]

More Then Once

Angels aren’t supposed to love in anyway. The first and only angel to do so was Castiel.

Castiel the Angel of Thursday fell in love with a human boy.

Dean.

This wasn’t supposed to happen and so there were consequences.

Castiels grace was shattered in thousands of pieces. Scattered through out time.

And the boy? He was condemned to suffer neither heaven nor hell. He would live again and again.

Rebirth

He would have no peace.

A shred of grace landed on earth and became Cyrus, a man of god.

He spent his days preaching of a god who loved all. He died an old man in exile for his love of his false god. The boy had become Darius, a traveler. Darius found the body. Compelled to by some unknown force. He buried him. Then moved on

The next shred of grace to reach earth became Clarissa. The daughter of a lord in England. She meet Dean again unknowingly. His name this time was Daniel. He was the son of the head stable master. He was older then she was by 20 years. He was her friend. Clarissa became a spinster. Never married, no children. An oddity. Sole inheritor of her fathers money and estate. Years passed and soon She buried Daniel in her family crypt. He was family after all that time.

The next time Dean was reborn nothing of Castiel appeared. He was a woman this time by the name of Diana. An Orphan. She suffered in this life, wanting nothing more than a family of her own but alas fate is cruel. beaten and broken. She died in a field by her own hand. And as her life faded she watched the stars. She swore that for a second ,one star was falling just for her.

Dallas and Celia were neighbours. They died holding one another. Murdered by Celia’s father.

Christoper and Darcy were childhood sweethearts. Christoper died on a battle front. Darcy died a hopeless widow.

Darien fell In love with Charlie from a distance. Hopelessly and Completely in love. Two boys worlds apart. Darien watched the love of his life get married, have children and lastly he watched the man he loved drink and waste himself away. They both died alone.

Clara was responsible for Dentons death, a car accident.

Soon God took pity. He gave the pair one last life together.

Dean was born again, a vessel of Micheal

Castiel born a prophet of god.

They fell in love. Bound themselves to one another. Together. Happy. Reunited in heaven with all their memories of one another. The and and the bad.

In the End,

They had lived, they had loved then they died.

They lived, they lost, they cried.

They lived only to die.

Over and Over again. For eternity.

[xemmaleexx]

Fear

To say Dean Winchester understood fear would be an major understatement.

He knew fear

He lived it

Fear coursed through his veins.

A life line almost.

The first time Dean truly felt fear was when he saw his mother on the ceiling. The look in his fathers eyes when he shoved baby Sam into his arms.

He was only a kid.

“Monsters are out there” John had said to his four year old son.

Fear ruled his life. It was the essence of his being.

“You look out for Sam” He did of course he did.

Dean watched his father kill a man. Point blank to the head. He was five. Fear rushed through him again.

Always on the move, Dean knew why.

It was Monsters

Protect Sammy.

Dean always tried to follow what his dad said but sometimes only sometimes Dean wanted to be free. Normal. Fearless. Oblivious. He was thirteen when he first kissed a boy. He liked it. It felt real. It felt brave.

Dean repressed who he was. He knew that the way he wanted to live was wrong in the eyes of his father and as far as he knew the world. He had a responsibility. “Saving people, hunting things. The Family business”

Liking boys was out of the picture. Girls? Sure! No problem. Go ahead Dean. Be with as many girls as you like. That’s normal.

At 17, John had sent him on a hunt. Lesbian Ghost Nuns who had loved each other in life and vowed to do so in death. They started killing any and all homophobic citizens who dared step into their home.

Dean fought them. Salted then Burnt their bones.

John knew.

Fear took over Dean.

He lived with a different fear now. Not the monsters that were out there. No. Fear of what his father would do if Dean embraced who he was.

Girls,Beer,Hunting. That was his life.

At 22 Sam left for Stanford. And Dean felt alone. More Alone then he had ever been.

John left dean to his own devices. “Your a Man now Dean Winchester, do what needs to be done.”

So Dean did. On his own.

He found boys and girls. Both. God it made him happy.

Then John Came back and it went to hell.

“Faggot”

“No son of mine will be a queer”

John Beat Dean Winchester to an inch of his life. It was brutal. Blood everywhere. But Dean got the message.

Fear

That’s all Dean knew now.

Fear ruled his life. His Heart and His Soul.

Fear was all he had.

[xemmaleexx]

Deanna Winchester was born late January 1979.

She existed for 13 years.

Inklings of Dean Winchester began at age 5.

Sammy’s first word? Dean.

John never really said anything about the daughter who was a boy. Thought simply that the way they had to live wasn’t for a girly girl. Raised her “right” The Perfect Soldier.

Dean knew who he was, always had. He adapted. A Mother, Father and Brother to Sam. That’s what he was.

Then puberty hit. Dean suffered through that. The boobs that felt wrong He was a “Pretty little thing” or so he had been called.

When Sam became a teenager, Dean became a mediator. Stuck between a angry kid and father hell bent on revenge.

At 18 Dean started T.

At 21 he got top surgery.

He felt like a Man, a Real Man

John was confused but accepted. Having two sons would be easier.

At 22 Sam left. Went off to college. Dean didn’t know how to feel. So he followed what he knew best. His father. Hunting. Saving people. “The Family business”

His dad disappeared, he got Sammy back. His dad died. Sam died.

Dean sold his soul.

Thirty years he spent In hell. They Called him Deanna down there. For fun. They let his hair grow. It was the only thing they wouldn’t touch.They found it funny to watch as Dean slowly became disconnected from himself and who he was truly was.

Then Dean flipped, he agreed to take the knife in his hand. He sheared his false identity. Dean could be Dean in hell if he was a monster.

Dean grappled his way out of the box in the ground. He was confused and scared. A hand print seared on to his arm and a odd feeling between his legs.

He finds Bobby then Sam. They don’t know anything. Rest. They say. He does. He showers wanting to scrub away the filth on his body. Dean finds himself with no scars. None. And a even bigger surprise male anatomy.

Castiel. A Frigging Angel of the Lord.

“ I am the one who gripped you right and raised you from perdition” he says

“I rebuilt your body, I saw into your soul”

“Good things do happen Dean “

Nothing of Deanna Winchester existed in that moment. He was Dean completely and utterly Dean Winchester.

[xemmaleexx]

Suffocating.

When Dean was 15 he was buried alive. He never told anyone. It wasn’t something he wanted to relive.

It definitely doesn’t help that it happened three times. “Training” John called it

“The things we hunt dean? They aren’t going to show mercy. You have to be prepared for every situation. Every possibility. It’s for the greater good”

The first time ,Dean was underground for three hours. Trapped in a box. He couldn’t breath. It was dark. Way too dark. He thrashed and thrashed. He clawed. He screamed and he cried. He surfaced only for John to tell him he was too slow. He needed to do better.

The second time took him an hour. He couldn’t breathe and he cried. He knew what to do this time. John said he was still too slow.

The third and final time. It took Dean 20 minutes to get out. Dean didn’t cry that time. Or thrash nor scream. He got out. John looked at him. A grin on his face and threw Dean a beer.

“ I’ll show Sammy when he’s older” Dean made sure that never happened.

When dean was rescued from hell it came In handy. But it really shouldn’t have. Should have never happened.

Dean never told Sam about it, didn’t tell anyone. But Cas knew. Of course Cas knew.

Cas was there when the memories flooded his mind. He grabbed deans hands then using his fingers traced wings on deans palm.

Dean was glad for it. And he would never tell a soul but it helped. It happened less often and soon it came to a stop.

Cas was gone and dean couldn’t remember what it felt like to have wings in his hand. It was a beautiful broken thing. And it was gone