* when I said it I thought it was true @xhatake - Tumblr Blog

"There’s no time like the present, I guess.”

Indie Kakashi Hatake - Penned by Xan Established 2017 - Reestablished Dec. 2022 icon || psd || boarder

a study of: the unforgiving nature of grief, the relentless progression of time, war, man-made-weapon, growing up too fast, ghosts at your heel, self-imposed loneliness, emotional invulnerability, the desire to be loved, found family, the effort it takes to be a better person & the journey it takes to get there.

google doc || playlist || headcanon

#pinned post.#kisses everyone who reads my rules on the forehead #1-21-23

allgather

“ yeah… the monster fox would do that… but naruto is different. i’ve acknowledged him as… one of my excellent students. he may not be the hardest worker… and he is clumsy and no one accepts him… but he already knows what it is to feel pain inside your heart. he isn’t the monster fox. he is a member of the konohagakure. he’s naruto uzumaki!! ”

INDIE MULTI MUSE featuring IRUKA UMINO and other muses from NARUTO, FRUITS BASKET, YUGIOH, THE ADVENTURE ZONE, ACE ATTORNEY, KNY & more. written by danny !!

template | graphic by mocha !!

#promo.#logs on specifically to rb danny's promo #danny's iruka has shaped so much of how i write kakashi now #they write such a beautiful iruka & every other one of their characters has such beauty & nuance #to their perspectives of their respective worlds #sooo thankful to know them

xhatake

anyways i moved the new blog @xfindingtrouble

#ooc.#self promo.#i'm going to work over here for tonight it is just where my bones are #& i would rather listen 2 my bones than burn myself out on things I'm not feeling rn <3 #i will be tackling some stuff here at some point this week i am just totally insane for critical role / tlovm right now #+ some muses that i have written for 5-8 years are over here along with brand new ones like percy #i love to write different things so i can explore different stuff & not burn myself on any specific perspective <3

i hope everyone is having a good valentine’s day <3

#ooc.#i haven't had the bones for writing this week i have been fixated on taking in new media #today is my anniversary w my partner so i will be around later tonight!#i am sort of lurking on mobile but my attention is elsewhere today <3 #yesterday i ended up going to my friend's house #watching the entire first season of tlo.vm [again] & then we cleaned & painted her room #i didnt end up going home until like 6am so i had no online bones #but regardless i hope all of my friends are having wonderful v-days <3 #i also finished watching season 1 again today w a friend #so i have watched tlov.m season one a total of 5 times in the week or so since i #discovered its wonders #i've watched season 2 like 3 times but season one be hitting different 2 me

anyways i moved the new blog @xfindingtrouble

#ooc.#self promo.#no mercy percy has me in a fucking chokehold <3

i have slept like 3-4 hours in the last 2 nights

#ooc.#i'm built different #tbd.#nah but i have been largely absent from here setting up my mumu #and losing my goddamn mind #the last few days #i'm not sorry but i'm also not dead which is all this post is for

memesfromstuff

a little challenge for rpers that might end up being helpful: if you ever feel bad for not replying to drafts, memes, etc, and constantly feel like you have to post ooc updates apologizing for not being “active enough” … i have a little challenge for you that i personally found surprisingly helpful.

try to go ONE WEEK where you don’t apologize for not being active / writing.

you can still post ooc updates and explain that you haven’t felt up to writing or that you’ve been busy, etc. but don’t apologize and say you’re sorry for it. then sit back and see what happens. chances are, you’ll probably find that nothing happens. your mutuals will still be there, they’ll be just as excited about your threads, and no one really minds that you haven’t been feeling up to or been too busy to write.

if you find that you managed to go a week without apologizing and nothing changed for the worse, then try challenging yourself to go another week. then another week. and eventually, you might even find that you no longer stress out so much about having to reply fast anymore (which if you ask me, often puts more of a damper on your inspiration to write in the first place)

#ooc.#disgusting #i'm gonna do it

me when i try to write the last few days:

#ooc.#WHERE AM I #AND I'M SO SORRY #I CANNOT SLEEP #I CANNOT DREAM TONIGHT #tbd.

tendermimi

Mahmoud Darwish, The Hoopoe

#musings.

also this will be my last dnd post [ for now! if i pursue the online game itch, I'll probably seek players out through this blog bcs i love most of the community here. i might also look via my dragon age blog but that fandom just be hitting different sometimes its scary ] but i just want to say that any time i roll well & kill an opponent [as a monk] i often opt to put vaeron's hand through people's chests to end their lives <3

#ooc.#tbd.#it's a nod to kakashi bcs i was going to play as a kakashi character but bro #bro building kakashi's skills in dnd would have made me go absolutely insane #sure i could have homebrewed the fuck out of it but it would have been so stinky to balance #itachi's skillset also drives me insane to try & replicate but my dm came up with a very cool sharingan thing to go along w vaeron's monk #class #[ it's called moongleam eye ]#that makes it easier to use itachi abilities in short bursts tho it takes a bunch of ki points to do it #and the only reason i was able to figure his character sheet out was because of all the [drugs] i did when i made it #it could not drive me insane bcs i already was insane #he has a sword but i love just having him punch people 2 death <3 #he's just silly like that

what if i simply go insane? what if i lose my mind & start an online dnd campaign, what then?

#ooc.#tbd.#i haven't dm'd in like three years #bcs i cannot get a steady playgroup together [ apart from my main group who barely makes it to our sessions as is ]#[ its actually how my partner & i got together; he was playing as an oathbreaker paladin & someone covered him in grease so he set himself #on fire & penguin slid at some guards & i knew i was in love on the spot ]#i have thought about doing it online before but the itch is getting scratchy #from watching this damn show so good #i have always always wanted to get a game going that lasts for years #where i can get invested in my players' chaarcters #but every time i try to get a game going no one wants to idk put in the effort #i like to get deep into character building it is just the kind of dm i am & that doesn't work for everyone #i used to play a lot of 3.5 e [ like a sociopath ] so that is probably part of the issue i will say but even when i shifted to 5e #the character building just wasnt there #my brain is just simmering rn

watching this show has made me realize that my main dnd character [ vaeron moongleam ] is just percy if he was itachi

#ooc.#tbd.#sighs i love vaeron #he was itachi coded from the beginning i have literally build him around having a skillset like his #[ he's a homebrew monk class dual classed w rogue bcs i want arcane trickster abilities ]#so his abilities are VERY different #but i think my dm zoned in on the similarities between how they operate because vaeron too has a demon that makes his brain scream #[ it was a gift from our first session it's a whisper ]#tho vaeron is the one that killed his own parents he does want vengeance on the system that forced his hand #but he cannot be public about it without destroying the ashen empire [ his home ]#so he is constantly grappling with guilt & rage #also we have a sasuke npc who flies our airship [aethran] & wants to kill vaeron but thats other lore #his whole thing is a willingness to protect the stability of the ashen empire at all costs even if it means vilifying himself #he's not afraid to make martyrs out of traitors so long as it stops them from destroying everything #also he pees the bed

edenmemes

andor sentence starters

❝ i don’t like seeing you nervous. ❞ ❝ the risk of doing nothing becomes the greatest risk of all. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna do us a favor and not mention this happened. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna get us both in trouble. ❞ ❝ i’m not moving. you want it, you take it and i walk away. ❞ ❝ if it’s not important, why not tell me? ❞ ❝ don’t tell anybody you saw me. don’t tell anybody you know where i am. ❞ ❝ you don’t look so good. ❞ ❝ you need to get as far away from here as you can. ❞ ❝ you’re like me. we were born in a hole. all we know is climbing over somebody else to get out. ❞ ❝ it’s all about you, isn’t it? it’s always all about you. ❞ ❝ ah, you’ve remembered how to mock me. ❞ ❝ that’s as close to an apology as you’re gonna get. ❞ ❝ maybe we should quit while we’re ahead. ❞ ❝ welcome. and just in time for dinner. ❞ ❝ there’s no way out alive. of that you must be sure. ❞ ❝ my anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight…they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape. ❞ ❝ i’m struggling to understand why my faith doesn’t calm me. i believe in something. why am i so unsettled? ❞ ❝ you don’t have to worry about me anymore. ❞ ❝ i thought you left without me. ❞ ❝ you have a different path, and i’m not judging you. ❞ ❝ it’s better you don’t know. ❞ ❝ you’re avoiding the question. ❞ ❝ hey. you know something i don’t? ❞ ❝ i told you, i’m doing everything i can. ❞ ❝ you might as well wear a sign that says, “i promise to disappoint you.” ❞ ❝ you’re bleeding on my floor. ❞ ❝ you knew where this was going. you’ve always known. ❞ ❝ i need to hear you tell me you can follow the plan. ❞ ❝ pull yourself together, all right? ❞ ❝ this time…you can’t stay, and i can’t go. ❞ ❝ i burn my decency for someone else’s future. i burn my life to make a sunrise that i know i’ll never see. ❞ ❝ i said i know you. i know all about you. ❞ ❝ why don’t we do something fun tomorrow night? ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i am going to ask you a question. i expect an honest answer. ❞ ❝ i yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time i looked down, there was no longer any ground beneath my feet. ❞ ❝ that’s cold. even for you. ❞ ❝ you’ll stay with me. i need all the heroes i can get. ❞ ❝ i’m thinking clearly and you’re not. ❞ ❝ is that your defence? you’ve been ‘careful’? ❞ ❝ any civilized being knows an open invitation is no invitation at all. ❞ ❝ rule number one: never carry anything you don’t control. ❞ ❝ what’s the hurry? got some place to be? ❞ ❝ you come all this way to scold me? ❞ ❝ i’d never lie to you. ❞ ❝ you’re not here to save anybody but yourself. ❞ ❝ what, not happy to see me? ❞ ❝ i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you. ❞ ❝ i won’t have peace. i’ll be worried about you all the time. ❞ ❝ turning back will be impossible. ❞ ❝ there’s no room for doubt on the path to success. ❞ ❝ two guys jumped me. it went too far. ❞ ❝ you fall here, you fall alone. ❞ ❝ i’m just saying out loud what you already known. ❞ ❝ you love me because i show you what you need to see. ❞ ❝ it’s just me against everybody else. ❞ ❝ you don’t want to hear what happened? ❞ ❝ hey. i won’t forget this. ❞ ❝ you think it’s hopeless, do you? freedom? independence? justice? ❞ ❝ no one’s more at risk than i am. ❞ ❝ you wanted to leave? this is what it comes to. ❞ ❝ what are you staring at? ❞ ❝ we’ll die with nothing if we don’t put aside our petty differences. ❞ ❝ you’ll make an effort tonight if it kills you. ❞ ❝ i write when i can’t sleep. ❞ ❝ you haven’t been listening to me, have you? ❞ ❝ us? i don’t know you. ❞ ❝ i’m not gonna put my people at risk for someone else. ❞ ❝ your father’s looking for you. ❞ ❝ why would i go anywhere with you? ❞ ❝ i’m glad you’re here. no matter what the reason. ❞ ❝ that’s what a reckoning sounds like. you want it to stop, but it just keeps coming. ❞ ❝ come on. we need to get out of here. come on. ❞ ❝ being a leader isn’t just something you can turn on and off. ❞ ❝ it’s been a day of surprises for all of us. ❞ ❝ you lived because you ran. ❞ ❝ i imagine that no matter what you tell me or tell yourself, you’ll ultimately die fighting these bastards. ❞ ❝ you think i haven’t thought this through? i’d be the first one to fall. ❞ ❝ wouldn’t you rather give it all at once to something real than carve off useless pieces till there’s nothing left? ❞ ❝ you’re wasting energy. you know i’m right. ❞ ❝ i just want what’s mine. ❞ ❝ must everything be boring and sad? ❞ ❝ you have a problem, you come to me. ❞ ❝ i’m starting to think we’re in over our heads. ❞ ❝ everyone has their own rebellion. ❞ ❝ can one ever be too aggressive in preserving order? ❞ ❝ the day before is always hard. too much time to worry. ❞ ❝ don’t touch me. ❞ ❝ i wake up every day to an equation i wrote fifteen years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what i do. ❞ ❝ i’m just trying to clear my name. ❞ ❝ working with other people is never easy. ❞ ❝ just being in your presence…i’ve realized that life is worth living. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in right now? ❞ ❝ i knew you were lying. i knew it. ❞ ❝ losing hope? your mind? keep it to yourself. ❞ ❝ must everything be boring and sad? ❞ ❝ the axe forgets, but the tree remembers. ❞ ❝ perhaps my deranged belief that there was something better fated for me in the future was a dream worth clinging to. ❞ ❝ i’m not here for career advice. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between fear and losing your nerve. ❞ ❝ you’re slouching. is that how you present yourself to the world? ❞ ❝ perhaps you should have a rest. ❞ ❝ i didn’t deserve what happened. ❞ ❝ you should go. i didn’t realize how late it was. ❞ ❝ i’d forgotten how sensitive you can be. ❞ ❝ you’re lucky to be alive right now. ❞ ❝ so, that’s it? that’s why you’re here? revenge? ❞ ❝ you can wear a ball gown if you’d like. ❞ ❝ this is the last place you should be. ❞ ❝ so much going wrong, so much to say, and all of it happening so quickly. ❞ ❝ it’s easier to hide behind forty atrocities than a single incident. ❞ ❝ what were you gonna do if i wasn’t here? ❞ ❝ i’ve been worried you might do something like this. ❞ ❝ don’t you dare talk to me like that. ❞ ❝ the very worst thing you can do right now is bore me. ❞ ❝ if you’re not willing to risk your conscience, then surrender and be done with it. ❞ ❝ we’ve come a long way from where we started. ❞ ❝ i show you the stone in my hand, you miss the knife at your throat. ❞ ❝ people blame you for what happened. ❞ ❝ i think about you constantly. ❞ ❝ i dreamt you came back. ❞ ❝ you pull in the net and the easy thing, the quick thing, is to assume that everything you’ve dragged to shore is a fish. ❞ ❝ i should…i should say thank you. ❞ ❝ i’ve given up all chance at inner peace. i’ve made my mind a sunless space. i share my dreams with ghosts. ❞ ❝ don’t die until you put up a fight. ❞ ❝ you came here to kill me, didn’t you? ❞ ❝ i’ve been shamed enough for one night. ❞ ❝ if you wanna say something, you should say it now. ❞ ❝ i would rather die trying to take them down than giving them what they want. ❞ ❝ is that meant to scare me? ❞ ❝ i’ve been turning away from the truth i wanted not to face. ❞ ❝ you’re bleeding. ❞

#meme.#im going to bed buuut

i really just don't feel like writing tonight! so i'm not going to!

#ooc.#tbd.#i haven't done much writing in the last few days but it happens #i just need to let my brain recharge #i've got ideas on the tip of my brain but the words just aint it #i am just gonna listen to the rain & breathe in the air & set down my Chromebook <3