POV of a Bar Retaker (and quick update about me too)
It was the 13th of December, year 2024. A Friday. In one of my favorite churches in Quezon City. With my family, my boyfriend and my best friend... 2024 Bar exam results are out!!!!!! And I did not pass. I fell 0.8% short to pass the 2024 Bar Exam. Of course I cried. I won't deny it. But my heart bled for my parents. They did not expect it to happen. They did not expect I would be that close, yet that far.
When everyone was starting to prepare and talk about the 2025 Bar, as for me, I was not thinking about it. I was so confused. Actually, confused is not the right word. I was scared. I was scared to take it again. I was scared to do it all over again. And so I decided to NOT think about it and keep myself busy.
As days and weeks passed, I realized and asked myself, "Hindi na ba talaga ako magba-bar?" My boyfriend kept on motivating me that I just have to take it again. So with a heavy heart, I applied again. Did the same thing. Did the same process. But this time, with a numb heart. I paid the bar fee just a day before the deadline. I was not not interested, I was just so much in pain that I would not want to take it again.
Days and weeks passed again, it was May 2025 and I haven't started studying just yet. I was still unsure whether I will take it again. But I started to look for materials, almost the same materials I have used last year -- Divina Compendious Series and ECodal Pro.
I'm sure my boyfriend was happy when he saw me buying books. Because that was his sign that I am ready to take it again. But I haven't resigned and left my job until 30 June 2025. Again, I asked myself, "Ano magbabar ba talaga ako?"
I did not know what came to me. I did not know what it was. But a day after I resigned, on 01 July 2025, I woke up motivated. I woke up and set my schedule for the remaining Bar Review days. I have 68 days left to study. That's what I kept on thinking and reminding myself. "68 days lang to. Mabilis lang to."
Day in, day out. It was just me reviewing. I seldom left the house, I studied at home. Contrary to what I did last year where I went out to study. I only go out for dinner, quick catch ups, and for quick sanity breaks. But most of the time, I studied at home.
I just had a quick break from review when I went to Taiwan with my friends on 25-29 July 2025. But even then, I got to finish all my materials.
I got to finish and cover the topics in the syllabus. Wow. I made it. That was what's going through my mind the whole time.
You know what changed between my mindset at the beginning of this year and my mindset now? I learned to accept things. I learned to accept the fact that I did not make it the first time. I accepted my failure. And I embraced my failure. That's what drove me to finish the 2025 Bar Exam.
Yesterday, we concluded the 2025 Bar Exam. At first, I was unsure. But as how they call it now, as weeks passed, I locked in. I focused on my goal.
Well now, I have around 4 months to wait for the result. Whatever it may be, I know in my heart that I did my best. Lord, thank you for being with me every step of the way. I completely surrender and lift up to you the previous 2025 Bar Examinations, but I will continue on manifesting that I will PASS the 2025 Bar Examinations.