RUN WILD, MY DARLING

indie multi muse

[xkorolevaxx]

HEY HI HELLO

i’ve been gone for a while...life got crazy as life sometimes does lol. but i’m planning to officially come back in about a month. i need to take the time to get organized both online and offline! i will be revamping so when i come back it’ll be to a new blog which of course i’ll post when the time comes. i really miss being here and i can’t wait to be back :3

[howledlove]

my stress levels are through the roof so i’m gonna need to take a bit of a hiatus. stuff irl is getting difficult and at the moment i’m just not sure what’s even going on or how to solve anything and i just can’t focus here as much as i’d like. i’m hope things are figured out in the next few days, but we’ll see.

[xkorolevaxx]

my favourite thing on youtube are video essays about movies like i’m highkey addicted to them 

[xkorolevaxx]

happy munday i’m a slut for autumn

[xkorolevaxx]

dermaplaning is magic y’all should touch my face rn

[xkorolevaxx]

krumovik‌:

The season would be over soon and practices were becoming fewer - there seemed little need with all the games being jammed in together. He spent a good chunk of most days in the air (which was frankly how he preferred it), but he had to admit it was exhausting - it always was. He’d been hyper-focused for hours, and his eyes were getting tired after the twelfth time he’d caught the snitch. When he finally decided to give them a break, he sat back on his broom and watched the others until someone in the stands caught his eye. He thought it might be a reporter - they came uninvited sometimes - and he opened his mouth to tell whoever it was to fuck off, but the sight of a familiar face left him speechless and slack-jawed instead. Hermione Granger was sitting in the stands, waving at him. She’d actually, finally come to Bulgaria, and he was stunned.

So much so that when Ivan chucked the quaffle at his head, he didn’t notice and was nearly knocked off his broom when it hit him square in the temple. He caught it before it fell, and kicked it so hard it would’ve broken Ivan’s nose if he’d actually connected it to his face. The very vulgar resulting banter (good-spirited though it was) lasted almost a minute before he told Ivan exactly what he could shove and where, and flew over to greet her. The others, realizing what was happening, started a whole new string of very different comments that left him gesturing rudely over his shoulder at them. He was grinning, though, face flushed (from the wind and the heat, obviously) when he came to a stop at the edge of the stands. (His team had no question whatsoever about who she was, he was sure - he’d talked about her too much to leave any room for doubt.)

“Her-mionny!” He still struggled with her name, but it was getting better over the years. “What are you doing here? Should I have known you were coming?” He didn’t remember her sending him a note to that effect, but he wasn’t the best at keeping up with his mail (though in his defense, there was usually a great deal of it). 

She’s never seen him like this. In Hogwarts of course he was different, between the tournaments and being swarmed by wild hormonal fans it wasn’t exactly an easy environment. And for the short time she saw him after the war it was...well it wasn’t a happy time for anyone. But here, in his natural environment, he seems so free and happy that Hermione can’t help but smile watching it all unfold. It felt like it had been such a long time since she’d seen anyone in a real state of joy and it makes her feel all the better about her decision to come.

“No, I’m a surprise,” she admits with a quick shrug. “I mean maybe it’s a little mad just showing up, but I wanted to see you and I didn’t want you to feel any pressure to halt your daily life.” There was a time when she would have needed this whole trip to be meticulously planned. And truthfully she did have about five guidebooks in her suitcase as well as a few others just for fun so she wasn’t really unprepared. “You should go back to practice, I’m happy to wait and we can talk after.” Grabbing a book out of her bag she holds it up, “I’m prepared for a long wait,” she assures with a smile. It’s weird to be smiling this easily, it feels like she hasn’t in years. 

[xkorolevaxx]

manichaeisms‌:

The trace of her fingertips on his arms leave goosebumps in his skin. It’s been so long since anyone’s made him feel so real and so alive, so much like himself, and she’s barely done anything at all. He aches for her, aches for that time he hadn’t been there. He’d gone to the funeral and stayed with her after, but they’d fallen out again not long after. It seems so wrong that he hadn’t known, that this has been her life for so long and it’s all brand new to him. All of it just feels so fucking wrong. He’s been deluding himself about it all this time and that’s so many years now that they’ve lost because of it. He won’t let that happen to them again.

She turns and he gathers her up, his hold tightening on her. He presses his face against her hair, presses kisses to the crown of her head. Her voice is so soft he almost can’t hear her and the words are hard to make out, but he knows. He knows because he feels the ache inside him too, but it’s good. Like he’s been lying uncomfortably for years and only just righted his spine, so it hurts but in a way that also deeply relieves him. “I missed you too,” he murmurs. “So much, Penny… I can’t… I can’t stand it.” He shifts lower, til his head is against her shoulder and he’s as close to her as he can be. “Never again… I won’t leave you ever again. I promise.” And it’s heavy in his chest as he says it, that guilt still beating against his ribs with every beat of his heart, but along with the repeated words of Audrey, cheater, liar, asshole are tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and he chooses to set it aside, not consider it again. “I’m here now…That’s all that matters right now.”

Penny knows he’ll have to leave in the morning. She even knows that there is every possibility that this is their one night. This is the end and all of his promises are empty. But she knows what’ll actually happen. He’ll go and he’ll leave Audrey for her. He’ll come back and...well truthfully they have so much rebuilding to do that she can’t say for sure what happens after that. She just knows he’ll do what he can to right the wrong their creating tonight. For a moment her heart breaks for Audrey and it’s almost enough for her to send him away...

“I love that you’re here.” This sweet flat always felt like something was missing. She’d tried various knick knacks. Little figurines, a few end tables, weird statues. But none of it was ever right. It never occurred to her that it was just missing him, the other half of her whole heart. And it strikes her sharply that this new beginning is building itself on the ruins of some other woman’s heart. “But you should go.” Penelope doesn’t pull too far away, just enough to take his face in her hands and look him in the eyes properly. “We deserve a better beginning and she deserves a better end.” The tears in her eyes aren’t just for Audrey, they’re for the idea of letting him go a second sooner than she’d intended to. But she can’t imagine how the guilt would settle into his chest if he stayed the night, if they went any further in their cruelty than they already had.

[xkorolevaxx]

current mood

[xkorolevaxx]

manichaeisms‌:

The flat is entirely new to him, and yet it feels familiar in an almost eerie way - probably because every inch of it screams of her, solid proof that she lives here. Some things he recognizes - bits of furniture, her same set of dishes, and it smells the same. Her energy fills the place and makes him feel warm. It’s strange to think I’ve missed this place about somewhere he’s never been. He looks around, trying to memorize is as though this will be the only time he’ll ever see it (though he knows, deep in his chest, that that isn’t true at all). It’s beautiful in its simplicity, and for a moment he lets himself dwell on the thought that she moved here without his help lifting boxes and rearranging furniture and just keeping her company. He’s missed so much, just like she’s missed so much of his life. He can’t let that continue, not for another minute.

He watches her set the flowers and settle them in the vase, and studies her back as she moves to the stove. It’s awkward, the air between them, but he doesn’t want it to be. But then, how do you shove two lives, two hearts, back together when they’ve spent so much time apart? Maybe being clumsy about it is just the way of things. He crosses over to her, taking what was once a familiar place behind her, and brushes her hair to one side and over her shoulder. His touch is slow, hesitant, but it’s there. He leans down to kiss the curve of her shoulder - once a favorite place of his for this very thing - and settles his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind. He says nothing, but he’s not sure anything needs to be said - the fact of the matter is, making himself at home means being closer to her; he knows no other way to do it. He’s quiet for a minute before he finally asks, “When did you …I mean… How long have you been a dancer? Professionally, I mean… I hadn’t though you were still going to pursue it. I’m– I’m glad you did. Just…wondered how long….how long I didn’t know.”

His hold is a warmth her body had long forgotten. Solid, comfortable, home. How can it be that in all the time she’s lived here it’s never felt as right as it does with his presence? Leaning into him, Penny dances her fingertips along his arm. “I..well I guess it started after my parents died. I stayed in law school for a couple of weeks and it just hit me one day while I was stressing myself out over an exam that I...well I wasn’t doing it for anyone anymore. The only people that wanted that life for me were gone. So I left and I found a studio and I began taking classes until eventually I was doing it professionally.” 

It seems crazy to her that he doesn’t know. That she never told him. There’s just such a huge section of her life that he doesn’t know about. And the same goes for him, she doesn’t know... And it seems a wonder that they could still fit together right now. How could all that time have not changed the shape of them, their hearts? Turning in his hold Penny wraps her arms around his waist and hides her face in his chest. “I’ve missed you so much.” Her whisper is muffled by his shirt but she doesn’t attempt to make herself more easily heard.

[xkorolevaxx]

just a heads up i plan on archiving this blog ( probably by the end of the week ) because i just feel so insanely disorganized here. i’ve finally realized that at this point that’s my biggest problem and what’s been such a huge block. my url will remain the same and i will keep working on things a bit while working on the new blog, but yeah !! i think this is actually what i just super need because all of the little changes weren’t fixing the root of the problem lol. so i’m very happy and excited and i’ll post it up when it’s all  ready (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[xkorolevaxx]

@krumovik

     It’s been a little over a year since the war ended. She’d seen him for a bit when he was at the Weasley’s after Fred. They hadn’t had much time to talk but she was reminded of how comforting his presence could be. It’s why she had wanted to reach out sooner. But she was...well she was tired, and trying to figure out just how to breathe, it seemed wrong to reach out when all she had to offer was her pain.

     Now though? Well now it was different. No, her pain wasn’t any less, but she was doing something. And there was just this deep down part of her that wanted to share it with him because she remembers Hogwarts. Telling him things and god he would just listen and appreciate it and this was so important to her.

     So instead of sending an owl like a normal person she just shows up to his practice one day. Quietly taking a seat to wait until it’s over. When she catches his eye she waves, a smile gracing her lips, hoping her presence is a welcome one.

[xkorolevaxx]

( technically i’ve already written a headcanon about this but having really thought about it more i’m rewriting and going back to what my first instinct was. so if you saw the other one...ignore it lmao )

It took only a few days after the war for Hermione to realize she couldn’t be in a relationship with Ron. Yes, she’d held onto a crush for years, but in all truth she knew they weren’t entirely compatible. And they all had so much to work through after the war that trying to find a balance between healing and being his girlfriend was too much. What she wanted desperately was to have her friend back. She still undoubtedly wanted him firmly in her life. That was the first big decision she made after the war.

The next was to find her parents. And she did. They were so happy and living a life that...well that truthfully she didn’t want to mess with. How could she force them to remember everything and then add onto it that she’d fought in a war and still wasn’t sure she’d felt like she survived? Or course she needed them, but she couldn’t do that to them, not when she had other people who could understand what she went through. People who wouldn’t have to wade through her trauma.

After that...well she felt a little lost. Sometimes she saw Harry or Ron. But often she sat alone in her flat with a stack of books on healing after trauma. Books on mental health. Book after book, she’d read until she was bleary eyed and her stomach was growling because she’d forgotten to eat that day. 

Hermione wasn’t ready to face her feelings. She wasn’t ready to confront the way she scratched at the scar on her arm left by Bellatrix. Or how sometimes her legs still ached like they were on the move trying to find the horcruxes. She couldn’t come to terms with the nightmares. Blurs of spells. Everyone she’s ever loved covered in blood and dirt. Endless screaming until she finally woke up.

No. No she couldn’t, no she- finally though she just had to. But the way she did it was by throwing herself into school. Taking classes at a muggle night school ( yes, to avoid sleep, but oh well ) to learn more about psychology and mental health. It served as a therapy for her and gave her a goal to eventually work at St. Mungo’s helping other people heal their minds. These were familiar and safe places for her and eventually she would be able to talk about what was really happening in her own mind.

[xkorolevaxx]

i’m gonna be here today working on some stuff and thangs !!

[xkorolevaxx]

so imma be on @howledlove for the most part today cause rn she’s demanding all of my love and attention and i can deny lavender brown nothing !!

[howledlove]

               “Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.” 

                                                         indie Lavender Brown

[krumovik-deactivated20220409]

[krumovik-deactivated20220409]

He’s unbelievable. He’s really young too. Only just eighteen or something. He’s a genius, you wait until tonight, you’ll see. — He’s really nice you know. He’s not at all like you’d think, coming from Durmstrang.   //.  independent Viktor Krumov, by aj.

[ifemeris-a]

“Voldemort,” said Riddle softly, “is my past, present, and future, Harry Potter…” He pulled Harry’s wand from his pocket and began to trace it through the air, writing three shimmering words: TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE Then he waved the wand once, and the letters of his name rearranged themselves: I AM LORD VOLDEMORT”

indie tom marvolo riddle. formerly part of @musaeprimi. written by alexx.