Coming to you on September 8
Written by @darcydelaney with art by @medicatedmaniac
Characters: Dean, Cas, Benny, Victor, BeckyĀ
Ships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Tags: No archive warnings apply, Alternate universe - modern setting, high school reunion, homophobia, coming out later in life, Dean POVĀ
Summary:Ā
Normally, Dean Winchester wouldnāt be caught dead at his high school reunion. But after finally figuring out at age 40 that heās not straight, all he can think about is his younger self: what his high school experience might have been like, which of his classmates he may have had crushes on, how he deserves to be out too. And, well, now here Dean is, heading into his high school reunion.
Excerpt:
āWhen I finally figured it out, realized I liked guys and girls, I cried. I shouldāve been happy or relieved, and I was so mad, so mad at myself that I wasnāt.ā
āWhat were you?ā Cas asks quietly.
āScared,ā Dean says, shaking his head and staring down at his hands. āSo damn scared. Embarrassed. Pissed at myself. At all the time Iād wasted. I know people come out later in life all the time, but it felt like everyone around me had just already known who they were since they were young, no sweat. And then thereās me, bumbling around like a moron without a fucking clue. Seriously, what if Iād died before realizing I actually like sucking diāā
Deanās brain finally catches up to his mouth and he cuts himself off sharply, cheeks burning. He chances a look over at Cas, whoās trying hard not to laugh. āWell, Iām glad that crisis was averted.ā
āYeah, me too,ā Dean canāt help but say, shoving a hand roughly through his hair with a chuckle. āI thought I knew everything about myself. But suddenly I had to start from square one at forty fucking years old. And lemme tell ya, the existential crises hit a hell of a lot harder when theyāre not just about a job or where you live, but who you fucking love.ā
Cas is silent next to him, and Dean swallows: shit, heās overshared. Cas came here to have a good time and catch up with old friends, not have Dean use him as a goddamn stand-in for his therapist. āIām getting better though,ā he adds quickly. āAt āreframing,ā my therapist calls it. Being happy for myself, no strings attached. Not beating myself up for not having figured it all out sooner. Giving my past self a fucking break.ā
When Cas finally does speak, his voice is quiet, hesitant. āIs that why you came tonight?ā
Dean nods. āTo come out,ā he says. āOr for high school Dean to, anyway. I know itās kinda dumb, but I think he deserves it.ā
āHe does,ā Cas agrees, and the small, soft smile he gives Dean has his cheeks going hot. Dean freezes as he watches Cas reach over and rest his hand on Deanās knee. His breath catches in his chest when Cas gives his knee a gentle, reassuring squeeze through the denim of his jeans. āAnd we all deserve to know him for who he really is.ā
