infinite jest

Xenophilius Lovegood. 23. Collector of memories and rare magical creatures. Voracious writer, eager tea drinker, lover of things that come in threes. Also Marc Bolan's biggest fan.

[xlovegood]

Xeno Cocktail

Ingredients: 

A third of pineapple juice A third of sugarcane juice  Two thirds pink lemonade Snapple A dash of gin A third of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Gold rum A sprinkle of coconut shavings A dash of goosegrass A handful of sour gummy worms, optional A slice of dirigible plum (for the rim)

Process: Mix drink ingredients in any order of preference, singing a pirate sea shanty in the process to better savour the rum. Shake well. Pour and add worms, dirigible plum, coconut shavings on top. Straw optional (the traditional way to drink it is to chug down half very quickly, then forget the other half entirely).

[xlovegood]

a visit — moody and xeno

@moodyauror

If there was a day Xeno wasn’t expecting anyone to turn up at the house, it would be this one. Gloomy, dismal, and not to mention a torrential downpour, it was surprising that anyone would pay a visit to the house that was shaped like a rook on the very outskirts of the village. But even in this weather, far be it for Xeno’s gardening efforts to go slack, and he was trying to rescue a patch of pink posies from being completely obliterated. He’d managed to build a small thatched roof over them, his own head sheltered by an umbrella laced with a hovering charm to follow him wherever he went. He had been in the process of this when he heard footsteps, sloshing, squelching in the mud, somewhere out front.

Curiosity naturally brought the wizard wearing at least seven layers of clothing out to the front, to follow the source of the noise. A momentary cloud of suspicion marked his features, trying to make out the looming shape in the rain and fog, but the closer he got, and as the man turned to him, that suspicion turned into a smile. “Well I’ll be—Alastor Moody!” An unmistakable grin was peering out the thick scarf that was bundled up to his neck, strangling him almost like a large serpent. “How’d you get in? Floo, apparate? Look thoroughly soaked so could’ve well been on a broomstick,” he joked, maybe somewhat badly. It took a moment for him to offer the umbrella to shelter the other, but once he realised the torrential downpour he was caught under, Xeno gave a little flicker of his wand to send the umbrella floating over him. “To what do I owe this exceedingly great pleasure?” They were standing some feet away from each other, and with the noise that the rain was generating, had to almost shout.

[harleyquinsn-blog]

[maybe-she-has-a-thing-about-dirt]

“And so Kit and Ella were married. And I can tell you, as her Fairy Godmother, that they were counted to be the fairest and kindest rulers.” Cinderella (2015)

[xlovegood]

slurred words

“Bloody love that man! What a great fella! ‘F there was...could be...anyone...” Xeno was hardly coherent at that point, but his enthusiasm and admiration for the auror was palpable. “Never felt...safer hands...y’know? He just gets it.” 

[xlovegood]

“slurred words”

Do you love your wife?

The question had been asked so suddenly, so out of the blue, it made him double-take. “Why of course!” was the immediate answer, then he sank into a little deeper introspection. “She’s....” A pause, to gather his thoughts. Or just to sway in place, the sheer amount of alcohol consumed holding dominion over the tall wizard. It let him speak a little more candidly, even though Xeno was always candid. “She’s...the brightest star in my sky. Incredible, inside and out, just...the most spectacular human I’ve ever met.” He leaned against the lamppost, launching into a monologue the asker most definitely didn’t ask for, but one that couldn’t be stopped now. “And I feel incredibly lucky to have met her. Maybe I fell in a cauldron of Felix Felicis when I was younger, I dunno, but here we are. I couldn’t be happier. Ecstatic. Joyous. Every morning she greets me with this...this smile, lights up the room, the house, the whole village...the world would be a far poorer place without her in it, that’s one thing I know for sure. And for some absolutely confounding, puzzling reason, she chose me. Like I said, I just feel very, very lucky.”

[xlovegood]

“slurred words.”

“Rabastan Lestrange? He’s...can’t say I’ve ever heard of him, but a Lestrange...s’not Bellatrix’s husband, is it? Going off that alone, I’d venture to guess he’s some...possibly...less than savoury fellow. Not to badmouth anyone, surely, but the Blacks and the Lestranges aren’t known for their openness and conviviality.” 

[xlovegood]

Slurred words

“Em? Oh...she’s brilliant...brilliant, top witch, tha’ one. Why I wouldn’t be surprised if she made head auror...headmaster...head...something. They have a head, right? Besides the head on their shoulders, of course. But yeah, brilliant, that one—did I say brilliant already? It’s the right word.  Merlin’s socks I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong end of her wand though, seen ‘er jinx someone, my word, it was something.”

[rabastan-le-strange]

Send “slurred words” to hear my muse describe yours whilst ridiculously drunk.

[xesotericconundrumx]

Strangeness and Charm||The Lovegoods

[xesotericconundrumx]

“I mean it’s more or less my fault. I didn’t want to sit at the kitchen alone, so I invited Opal to sit with me and obviously she couldn’t refuse.” Pandora had to think for a moment, their garden so huge, where did she plant the strawberries and cabbages. She went quiet for a moment, “Nope! I’ve just remember, cabbages are by the pumpkins and strawberries are by the outer fence, in the far corner. Seemed like a good place to put them. Should see the cabbages by Halloween time. Fun.” Once inside all bright eyed and smiles Xeno pulled her onto his lap and she stared at him waiting for tales of his adventure. 

She thought for a moment, “Start at the beginning, like all grand stories start, or even in the middle. And then tell me how got in the situation and then finish. I love hearing your stories.” The sincerity in her voice was genuine, though she would rather be with him when the stories were made. Perhaps once things settled down they would pack up again and run off together to some mythical place in search of something great. “Savory. Simple, classic. Molly taught me how to peel potatoes. How silly right, something so simple as peeling potatoes and making mash. But I didn’t know how to do it and now I do. So I made bangers and mash and veg. And pudding. Also my mam sent over whiskey.” Pandora placed a kiss on her husband’s forehead closing her eyes for a moment before answering.  “Because I’ve missed you silly. Because I keep hearing about scary things, so I worry about you. But here you are safe and sound. Safe and sound.”

[xlovegood]

“Alright, good,” he nodded, hearing her layout plans of where the cabbages and strawberries went and visualizing them in his head. “Those were the only more or less questionable plants I left, they haven’t been causing any trouble have they?” Xeno wondered, having a brief moment of something potentially resembling regret about the preacher’s porridge (and this was a man who didn’t regret very much). He only hoped they hadn’t oozed toxic slime over the other plants or given her any grief. “Cabbages by Halloween time? We could set them out right next to the pumpkins. I don’t know how well a cabbage would take to a carved face, but there’s an idea...” and he was off again, on ruminations and combinations of thoughts and ideas entirely bizarre to anyone but him. But to Xeno, everything was a possibility waiting to happen.

“Alright, but it’s a long story. I was away for weeks. I’ll have to tell you about Señor Garcia first and how I met him. Such an odd fellow. Honestly I still haven’t made up my mind whether he might possibly...potentially....support you-know-who...” his voice dropped low, quiet. Could it be possible that the dark lord had supporters as far afield as South America? Then again, anything was possible in these days. “But maybe that’s a story for after dinner and digestion.  Bangers and mash. And veg. That sounds deliriously good, I’m practically salivating now,” he said, eyes wide. He held her close, a finger tangling at the very end of one of her curls. “I missed you too, dreadfully, awfully. Worry, yes, that too. But here we are...” They always were. Things would always be alright, because they always found a way back to each other in the end. 

[xlovegood]

In medias res // open

[ems-vance-deactivated20181031]

Emmeline listened to Xenophilius talk- he’d always had a unique way of seeing the world -and smiled. She’d forgotten just how much she’d missed talking to him and just how normal he made her feel. Not matter how much she felt like a leaf in the wind or a pebble in tumultuous waters something about Xeno always made her feel moored- anchored to wherever she was in that moment. She’d have to go round the Lovegood home and finally meet the love of Xenophilius’ life. “Well obviously the Prophet’s location isn’t important. I only know where it is because we’re standing right in front of it.” She laughed before running a hand through her hair. “How’s the Quibbler going? Have you started publications yet or is it still just about in your head?” Emmeline asked pointing towards Xenophilius’ forehead.

“I’ve been alright. Finally graduated, living at home still but I’ve been thinking of moving out, I joined the Auror training program and still single!” She rambled everything off before laughing a bit and looking at Xenophilius, blushing a bit. “Sorry, didn’t mean to give you the quick catch up. Though I’m sure you’re just bustling to see your wife and get on with whatever you’ve got to do.”

[xlovegood]

The more Emmeline spoke, the more Xenophilius realised how good it was to have a familiar face, a familiar person, speaking to him first thing since his return. He’d missed England, he’d missed London, but more than anything, he’d missed this. After weeks in the wilderness surrounded by the same three people, one of whom was a muggle so wizarding talk was out of the question, this felt like a warm cup of tea and a fire drawn at a familiar hearth. “Oh no, it’s very much going!” Xeno nodded his head vigorously. “We’ve got subscribers even, would you believe that? A whole six of them! Of course, they’re still crash-testing everything about it, per se, it’s not perfect science. Not that it’s supposed to be. Pandora and I are printing the lot at home, and we’ve got quite a few owls at our disposal although in need of a few more. Hence—” he gestured to his trolley, on the back of which hung a birdcage. Two, actually, although one was so small  it was liable to be missed. 

He nodded along to all of her good news, smile growing brighter with each new addition. “Ah! Wonderful, wonderful. Aced your N.E.W.T.s, I suppose. And the program! How’s that going? Still single? Well don’t despair, don’t despair, my darling. Every wonderful thing is just around the corner!” He flashed an extra row of teeth, giving a confident nod. Sometimes, people thought Xeno was faking all of his enthusiasm and optimism. Sometimes, he even felt it himself. But deep down, he truly, honestly wasn’t, and in the times it felt insincere (only when faced with insurmountable despair and circumstances at odds), it only meant all the more that he did it. He held others up, in a sense. But here was a young, bubbly witch, with a smile on her face fit to rival his. It was so refreshing to see! “No no no, it’s quite alright, quite alright. I’m so happy to see your face after so long. I would offer you a drink at the Three Broomsticks,  have a proper sitdown, if I wasn’t, indeed, hurrying. Just a little. Got a train to catch later and have to pop in here,” he thumbed the Prophet building. “Last order of business but most important. Save the best for last, as they say,” he gave another nod. But he had a few more minutes still, he figured. He could afford a small chat with a friend and fellow ravenclaw.

[awesomefunnythings]

Rupert Grint and Alan Rickman

[jamiecampbellbowersource]

Jamie Campbell Bower must be a sleepy boy today. All from his Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bowerjamie/

[xesotericconundrumx]

Strangeness and Charm||The Lovegoods

[xesotericconundrumx]

Pandora waited. The cat was in her lap, purring as she petted her. Every little noise made her even more impatient, her head kept turning towards the window in hopes of a glimpse of her husband. She probably wasn’t even waiting that long when she heard his voice. She squeaked in excitement and jumped up, beaming as she twirled in his arms. Tightly she curled her small arms around him burying her face in his neck. People would call them strange, why on earth would any married couple be away from each this long if they could help it. But Pandora knew Xeno had dream and that was for the Quibbler to get off the ground, if that meant staying home and working in an icky little shop, taking care of things at home they by all the stars in the sky she’d do it. She’d love Xeno too much to see that dream crushed. Sure times were a bit rougher but she could handle it. Pandora’s lithe fingers gripped his shirt for moment as she held on to him, agreeing with him before he set her down. The young witch laughed brightly as his attention moved to the cat. She picked up Opal, who thankfully was still orange at this point and nodded sheepishly. “Yes, well. In your absence, she has taken to your spot at the table, eating bits of human food here and now. She’s a great listener as you can imagine. Also I’ve been feeding her cake occasionally.” The cat squirmed out of her hands, meowing, as if she annoyed that she was disturbed. Pandora took his hands and looked him over. “But you, have you been forgetting to eat, thin as a beanpole you are. We can’t have that. Opal. Xeno must have his seat back–Oh, I’ve grown strawberries!  And cabbage. I wanted to tell you before I forgot.” How did they ever finish a conversation, Pandora’s head swirling with so many thoughts at once she wanted to get them out all at once or else she’d forget every single one. Perhaps another reason people thought them strange, the way they spoke to each other.

The witch loved over her husband again, gently she ran her hand through his light blonde hair, unkempt as usual, letting her hand follow down his jawline, as if she memorizing his features again.   Sighing he pulled him more into their home, towards the couch, so he could sit down. Bags could be picked up later but she wasn’t about to let her husband pass out from exhaustion. “Tell me all about your trip. What did you find, who did you speak to. Come across anything interesting. Or do  you want to eat. I learnt how to make something other then mac and cheese and pudding.” She smiled excitedly. “I did make pudding though.”

[xlovegood]

“Taken my spot?” Xeno quizzed, pretending to be somewhat surprised and maybe even offended at this turn of events, although in truth it just amused him, like everything else amused him. She’d written as much about the cat in their owls, but only upon seeing Opal in the flesh now did he realize that indeed, the cat had somehow doubled in size. “Yes, I suppose she’s been eating everything I’ve been omitting,” he said, a sheepish admittance to her observation that he’d become even more lean. He did have a habit of forgetting to eat when wrapped up in something fascinating and worthy of devoting his hours to,  be it writing or chasing small and barely visible creatures across field and forest. “Strawberries and cabbage! How lovely — wait, you didn’t plant the cabbage next to the preacher’s porridge, did you? I forgot to tell you about those, I planted them before I left — completely forgot!” he shook his head, even though in their day to day lives, he probably forgot to tell her at least six important things every day. But somehow, even with their mixups, misinformation, and general muck-headedness, they still managed. It was a wonder.

There was a moment when he looked into her eyes, a second frozen in time, like he remembered all over again just how bright blue her eyes were. Then he followed her inside, smile still affixed to his face, cat trotting just behind them. Once inside and on the couch, he pulled her onto his lap just to be nearer her, to hold her, arms encircling and hands clasped tight together. “Oh, I’ll tell you all about it, beginning to end or end to beginning, whichever way you want to hear about it, darling.” It was an almost fantastical tale, complete with adventure, daring, and even near-death experiences in one or two places. But it paled in comparison to how he received the news of his wife learning something new to add to her cooking repertoire, eyes going wide and mouth a little slack in awe and disbelief. “Learned something new? Merlin’s beard, now you’ve got me all excited. What is this something? Sweet or savoury? Or in-between? I do like those in between dishes, can’t ever tell if they’re meal or dessert. But pudding, that sounds lovely too. Why this is the best return home I’ve ever had.”

[xlovegood]

In medias res // open

[ems-vance-deactivated20181031]

Emmeline had figured if anyone knew about the whereabouts of Dorcas Meadowes it would be the patrons of Knockturn Alley. As a familiar face to the Alley, it wasn’t unusual for Emmeline to just casually be strolling up and down the Alley- occasionally going into a shop to look farther at a pendant or robes. She pretended to be interested in the petty things, staying silent like a good girl would. It was almost as if she’d had an invisibility cloak or she was a ghost. Hardly anyone paid the girl any mind and those who did only did so for a moment before she faded into the background once more. Sometimes she enjoyed being a pureblood daughter in a society where they were invisible unless spoken to or made to be the center of attention.

She’d heard nothing of importance- just many people agreeing with the Dark Lord and his ideals. It had been hours and her stomach was beginning to rumble so with a huff, Emmeline put her hood up once more and headed for Diagon Alley. She needed something warm and filling in her stomach so she was headed to the Leaky Cauldron. She’d been halfway there when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She contemplated on continuing on and pretending she hadn’t felt the tap when she recognised the voice behind her. Turning around and lowering her hood, Emmeline smiled a bit.

“Well if it isn’t Zany Xeno.” She laughed before running a hand through her hair. “How long has it been since you’ve been in London? Don’t answer that, it’s obviously been too long if you can’t even remember where the Prophet is.” She teased before pointing just behind them. “Though if you managed to turn around you’d see you’re closer to your destination than you thought. How’ve you been?”

[xlovegood]

Xenophilius recognized her, maybe it took a moment or two to recall her name from the vast compendium of knowledge settled in his brain, but it eventually came to him. “Emmeline,” he returned her address with a smile, no reaction to the nickname as it was one he’d been accustomed to in his years in Hogwarts. In fact, it was rather catchy and he liked it. “It’s been a few months, yes,” he agreed with a nod and a laugh, whirling around once she pointed at the building directly behind him and making a noise. “Ah! There it is. I knew it couldn’t have been far off. Thank you.” Though he felt slightly sheepish for getting lost in such a small area trying to find such a large building, but it had been a long day. “S’not my fault,” he said with an innocent shrug,”must’ve pushed out the Daily Prophet’s precise location out my head to make room for other things. It happens.”  He demonstrated with a tap of his finger to his head.

“I’ve been good, quite quite good. And yourself?” He also hated to admit that he knew less of her maybe than she knew of him, some vague gathering with friends some years ago he recalled sitting beside her and sharing a few firewhiskeys, but anything beyond that was vaguer still. “Where are you hanging about these days?” It seemed like a fair enough question.

[dailyjamiebower]

Winter 1988. A woman cries in Hammersmith hospital. Silence, then a childs cry answers. Some say it was divine intervention others a cruel experiment. I am born. 

[xlovegood]

Sex in the garden

Given one doesn’t roll over the exploding plums as that would be painful for one’s backside I imagine, then yes— absolutely, yes. Nothing lovelier than a canopy of twinkling stars overhead, a soft bed of grass underneath, and a warm summer breeze blowing, is there? Well, I could think of a few lovelier things but it’s certainly a grand way to spend an evening.

[xlovegood]

[OWL] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!

[OWL] You’ve been keeping the garden door shut, right? It might have been the fire ants.