Wishing all of you a tender forehead kiss from a strong but intimacy-starved man who is scared of the feelings you are awakening in him but is already in too deep to know how to stop.
a/n: enemies to lovers with simon lmao. full of angst 🤍
continued from this drabble
forget me not
"note to all teams the target is incredibly dangerous. once located do not engage and call for backup"
the message was loud, clear over the comms but you couldn't hear over the thundering of your heartbeat. you couldn't focus on much, the crushing weight on your chest squeezing your heart made it that much more difficult to focus on the task at hand. dread filled your veins at the thought of staying in the car longer than you had to, looking for any suspicious activity outside. his smell invaded your space as you resist to try and hold onto it. since the attack and the kidnap, he hadn't been the same. he usually was reserved when it came to you but this time it almost seemed like he hated the very ground you walked on
regardless you don't think you've ever been in the middle of such an awkward and tense situation before
he was seated in the passenger seat beside you. completely stoic, face and body covered in his usual gear with just the whites of his eyes peeking out from his balaclava as he sat stiff, his hands locked on the binoculars while his trained eyes focused on the house. you could practically feel the tension vibrate from his muscles around the car as you sigh softly. your hands on the wheels looking back at the scene silently cursing price for pairing the both of you together, it was too soon
you knew simon wasn't used to sitting around. he was the first to go guns ablazing into the fight. actions first, words later. you knew it was taking everything in him to sit patiently, to even be next to you in a cramped car. but alejandro and rudy called you all in, needing the extra pair of hands to handle the target delicately as they planned the best way to take them down. you'd only been back for a month and been involved in an attack, a kidnapping, several missions all within a few weeks.
sitting next to him like this, you almost feel the same fear and nerves you had done when you first met him. you glance back at him, eyes slightly narrowed as the frustration bubbled inside you. the contast feeling of being in edge, of waiting him to bite was enough. he was still hurt, rightfully so. but it felt like judgement day the way he kept you waiting deeming just how severe your punishment should be.
simon riley was a big burly man, standing tall at 6'4 and a wall of pure strength and muscle. he was unbeaten in his work, he was powerful in his skills but you had been the one thing that made him crumble to his knees. and god how he hated it.
the rage practically rolled off from him in waves, his hand gripped firmly around the hilt of his gun until the knuckles whitened fighting the urge to make any irrational decisions. and all you could do was just sit there, sinking into your seat and observing the camera footage. you didn't even know what to say now ironic because you could never stop talking when you were around the others
but now not a word could pass your lips
"three years" his deep voice snaps you out of your trance, the familiar voice blowing through you as you caught your breath. the low baritone of his tone caressed your senses, it was just as beautiful as you had remembered. and then the coldness in his voice cuts deep through you like the dagger coiled with pain
this wasn't the simon that you knew. this was the ghost that they feared.
"three years of being your friend, your lieutenant, someone who i cared for so goddamn deeply. three years and you cut me off, cut us all off, so easily as if it never meant anything at all. you didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face" the scoff was harsh, he could've laughed in pure bitterness at the thought of it.
simon wasn't one to open his heart so easily, god knows how difficult it had been for you in the beginning of joining the taskforce. he kept to himself mostly, only ever interacting with you for the sake of the mission at hand.
but overtime you had managed to weasel yourself in his heart, you were everywhere you shouldn't have been. in books, in songs, in random conversations, in alcohol, in his dreams. in his veins. all these places you shouldn't have been. and the sheer irony of you still lingering even though you were gone, a paradox indeed
there was nothing that you could've said to defended yourself, a resigned sigh leaning your lips as you leaned back in your seat. almost two years ago you had requested price to move you to another team across the sas. the only reason you had offered him was that it had been personal and he nodded, pressing a hand to your shoulder before he filed the paperwork.
everyone else seemed aware of it, you had begged the rest of the 141 not to say anything to simon. figuring you'd tell him in your own time, with the correct words. but the time never came, you had to go and the memory of your departure only served to haunt him further.
it had been friday, the usual movie night as he readied himself. he could never forget the feeling of his heart dropping at the small note in your empty barracks, stomach lurching at the popcorn he had bought specially for you. heart pounding as he hoped and prayed it was all some kind of sick joke.
it took him a while to forgive the rest of them but you hadn't been extended that same courtesy. so seeing you there tied up beside him brought up the same feelings and emotions he had tried to bury back then but they were potent, penetrative, stronger than he had anticipated them to be. it was too soon to see you. too soon to come to grips with the fact that his hurt had ran too deep for him to move on
"i'm here now" your voice had dropped slightly, a hint of a plea for him to understand but he rolled his eyes in your response his hand clenched tightly around the gun resting on his knee
"oh congrats. you're here now. until you find something else and you're running off again" he spoke harshly, shaking his head as he looked out the window to calm his heart and his thoughts.
he should've listened to his own advice, it was always the ones closest that caused the most pain. he expected to be hurt, he expected the pain but from anyone else. not from you, never from someone he had spilled his deepest darkest secrets to. never from someone who he held in such a high regard, from someone who he cherished so incredibly hard. and your heart hurt the more he spoke, the voice you had missed terribly for years was now echoing in your head but it was the most painful thing to listen to.
"you know it was the best thing to do-" you started but he snapped, glancing at you for the first time full of pure anger. "for you. best thing for you. don't act like i had any say in that decision you made for the both of us" he cut you off harshly, his hands thumping against his thighs in frustration as if the small space of the car was suffocating him and he couldn't get out in time. this time he allowed some of the hurt to trickle in his words, the words he had suppressed for so many years were now cracking, spilling out from his scarred lips.
simon shifted to face you, his face was still, unreadable, observing every little detail and every expression. he could feel his own heart thump heavily with how much he realised he had missed you, how much he had yearned for you. he dreamed for the moment where he would see you again in the flesh again, to smell and touch you like he used to.
every part of his being ached when he took a good glance at you. you'd change so much and yet you still looked the exact same. he wondered if your preferences had changed, whether you still slept in the same pair of pajamas that had been his favourite, whether your food preferences were different now.
you see in his eyes the sea in his eyes churning beneath. the waters ready to drag you from the surface, plunging you in the darkness that lay just below. his gaze lingers briefly upon your lips, slowly following the arch of your mouth, grazing your cheekbones before they finally meet yours. it makes your heart squeeze that much harder, restricting your breathing when your eyes meet. the pain was so heavy, you could've reached out and touched it.
everything you had ever missed came rushing to light, you had to hold back your hands back from wanting to touch his face. to feel the skin you had been restricted from touching for so many months. even when simon was in front of you, even when he was here in the physical, you still missed him.
"bloody hell, you were my whole world. you fuckin knew that. i waited for you every night, sat by your door every damn day just hoping you'd come back" his voice cracked the slightest at the end of his sentence, coughing to rid the tremble but you had heard it all. he didn't think he could sink any lower but you proved him wrong, you shattered his whole world and he was left to pick up the pieces again
"simon i-" "lieutenant. it's lieutenant to you. rookies refer to superiors with their rank" his snarl was biting, a tone he usually reserved for enemies. just as it had come, he was back to being the ghost again. it makes you want to cry, makes you wish the ground could swallow you whole just seeing the amount of pain in his eyes. how they used to twinkle and sparkle under the lights whenever he spoke to you, irises dilated ever so slightly only now they were dull and flat. impassive and empty
the walls that you had broken with great care and gentleness were now standing strong as ever, all because of you. the heart that once craved to be next to yours, the heart that was once placed in the palm of your hand had been snatched away and hardened until it was stone. impenetrable and inaccessible.
you were back in the 141 like you had desperately wanted to be, he didn't know anything more. he thought you had been a willing participant throughout it all. the lump only seemed to grow as you look at him helplessly, he doesn't seem to want to listen anymore and you could only wish that he could understand your reasoning behind it all. that you were in pain by the departure just as much as he was.
i loved you, i loved you, i love-
the camera beeped, indicating activity inside the warehouse. the pure relief for a moment on focusing on something else other than the burning relation between you both was a welcome respite.
though in typical simon riley fashion, he watched the camera carefully before he reached over for his gun and the bullets barely even giving you a glance
"stop we need back up, please. you'll get hurt" your voice was soft, heavy as you try to reach for his arm but he pulled away. the tips of your fingers just barely grazing his tatted arm, heart caught in your throat at just how much you missed his skin. how much you missed his scent, his comfort, his love.
how you'd lost it all in a heartbeat
"i don't know how they taught you to fight back there. but this is my operation, i know what the hell i'm doing. just leave, you're good at doing that" his command was sharp before he left the car, the door slamming behind him as he stormed off to the target. you watched with the tears shining in your eyes, wondering just how horrible everything had gone.
one wrong move and your past would've blown up in your face, one wrong move and everything you had tried to keep hidden away would reveal itself. only this time you didn't have the luxury of having simon in your corner this time around. your rank back there meant nothing now to him or to the 141, you were just a recruit in his eyes. an annoyance, a burden. it makes the pain deepen as you suck in a soft breath and steady yourself before you head inside the house.
you broke him and in response, he watched you break.
hiya, can we please get an angst scenario with husband!price having one of those “big” arguments/fights with wife!reader to the point where he sleeps in the couch for the night
i loved this :") just posted it for you, babe. it is kinda ooc and rushed so huge warning but i really hope you enjoy 🤍
the words echoed from his lips as he let out a soft resigned sigh, his face knitted in the same frowning pensive look he usually gave to his team when they were receiving bad news. it was odd being on the receiving end of it as you watch your husband lean against the counter tops. his black jacket discarded on top of the couch, revealing the compression top he had worn underneath highlighting his bulging muscles and broad frame
"what do you mean?" your voice was next, raising your brow as you look at him. but there's no lightheartedness about him tonight, he looks defeated and you couldn't help feeling guilty. your stomach in knots for being partly responsible as he brushes himself slightly trying to organise his thoughts.
"tonight. with your parents. you just froze up when they asked about me, what was that?" he asked again, his tone confused and hurt as he tried to understand your point of view. the night had consisted of a dinner with your parents and while you loved price with all your heart, you knew it would be difficult to explain your backstory with him. his true nature, his job.
so you chose to omit a few details but none of that had escaped price's watchful gaze. he kept his mouth shut, swallowing down the words that desperately wanted to be said with a forced smile as he watched you answer for him. every false thing to avoid the truth twisted the knife that much more until he excused himself early to the car, muttering some excuse as he left the place gulping down air that didn't seem to fully reach his lungs.
until now, back at home where he couldn't take another word and confronted you hoping you'd prove him wrong. but every second that ticks by and the dread only continued to grow.
"it's been a long night" you spoke back, your tone a warning not to delve into the matter tonight as you tried to side step him but he stands in the way. his brow furrowed as he looked down at you refusing to let it go, challenging you back as he stood there.
"it bloody well has been. which is why i need you to explain exactly what the hell that dinner was" his voice is sharp, a command as he looks at you expectantly his form tense. he looked angry and it only caused your temper to rise as you tried to move away, hoping not to escalate the situation.
"you're embarassed of me, aren't you?" the words were cold, harsh as he eyed your movements carefully. he knew you well, he knew your moods having been married to you for three years. he took pride in that, having knowing you better than himself.
you froze at the words, quickly trying to compose yourself but even that was a second too long as his eyes darkened. shock on his face. confirmation, resignation on yours
you almost hated how well he read you and in this moment, he shared the same notion.
"so what it is then, my work? me? what, aren't i good enough for your love anymore??" he snapped as he clenched his fists, taking a few steps forwards as his eyes narrowed in on your face. trying and hoping you'd tell him it was all in his head, that he was overanalysing everything. that there had to be a reasonable explanation for all this
he forgot, however, that sometimes not everything plans out the way he so desperately wished they would.
"no, maybe not! this whole thing was a mistake, this whole marriage is a joke" the words tumbled out of your lips before you had a chance to comprehend them and the realisation dawned on you when you see his face, his stoic demeanour cracking under your proverbial hammer. it made you instantly regret saying a thing, your breaths hard and fast as you stutter slightly. he almost deflates a little, his heart thundering under his chest but his face rests usually. almost like he had expected the disappointment to come naturally
"i see" it's the only sentence that leaves his lips, you can see the hurt swimming in his eyes practically threatening to drown you whole. you don't think in all the three years you've been married to john, see him in this state before. his muscles tense and rigid, rooted to the spot looking you over before his gaze falls to the floor. unsure of what to even say, what could he say to that anyway? his wife, his love, proving to him that he was his worst fear. that he was a burden, you simply couldn't get rid of.
price felt a stabbing pain in his chest as if on cue reminding him of the pain he felt regularly whenever he missed you. even when you were there, standing right in front of him, he missed you. but it was clear you didn't feel the same and the realisation only hurt him that much more. who knew people could carry this much pain with them? surviving a war seemed much easier than this
his arms closed around his chest, partly for comfort and self soothe. partly to keep him from falling into the dark abyss that threatened to overtake him, to keep you out even though you were so deeply intertwined with his very soul it would be impossible to completely remove you without taking a huge part of him
"i know what they say, i've heard it before. i know have a bad past, i know my job is unconventional" he starts as his adam apple bobbs in his throat, brows creased as he speaks
"but i didn't think the first person i've ever had a true and honest connection with, would give me hell on top of that. i thought you would've seen more to me than that. you're my wife for christ's sake, my best friend..... i need time. i need space" it almost pains him to say the words as much as it hurts you to hear them. his voice was was soft, low, and almost like a plea. he rarely ever sounded like that. he seemed tired, broken, and fragile standing before your eyes. hardly the formidable strong captain everyone knew him to be. it only pains you that much more when you see the true extent of the damage your words have done.
who knew it took five minutes to completely shatter three years of marriage just like that
it's the only thing he offers you for the night as he turns his back, settling on the couch. you know it won't be comfortable for him, his muscles already look cramped but he's made his mind. he doesn't even have to be angry, to be fuming as he should've been. he didn't get the urge to throw himself into a workout and lift the weights until the familiar burn settled into his bones whenever he worked himself too hard. to punch the lights out of the hanging bag until he felt his knuckles cramp and ache.
no, tonight he felt inexplicably sad. as if the person he thought you were deep down had completely obliterated into pieces, your words had been like bullets hurting him more than anything physical could've done. maybe he didn't know you as well as he thought and that made him feel worse, trying to bury it all deep down to get some rest for the night. deep down knowing he would hardly find some relief to soothe the ache deep down in him.
a soft sigh passes your lips, every ounce of your heart throbbing to hold him one more time. to touch his skin, to feel his comfort, to feel those strong arms pull you to the safety of his chest his heartbeat a soft hum under his chest.
but tonight you've lost that privilege and you walk away, resigning to a room filled with loneliness and despair without your other half to keep you company. your hand strokes his empty side, missing the way his warmth would seep into your skin while he cradled you close to his chest. his nose buried in your neck, nuzzling your skin.
early morning fucking with price or ghost or with any of them? 👀
price and ghost for you :) lmk if you want soap/gaz or a longer version 👀
cw: cockwarming, oral. nsfw n rushed !! enjoy 😋
price:
"m'just gonna taste you, love. round two when we're both awake, yeah?" his tired mumble fills the air as he already settled between your legs, the covers hiding his broad body. you can feel his beard softly scraping the inside of your thighs, his fingers hooking on the side of your pj's and taking them off with one swipe.
he licked gently, his tongue flat as he pressed it against your folds. a soft groan falling from his lips, his hips grinding into the mattress as the taste overcomes his senses. his hands steady your thighs, pressing you closer to his face. your soft moans encourage him as his sucking progresses, nudging his nose against your clit as he pants softly.
"s'fuckin sweet" he mumbles, a normally refined man rendered primal by your sweet, musky taste. price couldn't help himself, precum leaking from his hard cock as the relief from grinding against the mattress becomes fleeting.
he pulls your legs up across his shoulder, pulling your walls apart with his thumbs as he dives in, pushing his tongue further. the urge to make you fall apart became intense, precum leaking from his aching cock but he refused to still in his task until you came undone. he needed to see it, needed to taste you before he gave into the desire.
his mouth clamped softly onto your clit, gently sucking as he stretches you over his two thick fingers. curling them inside you, against the bundle of nerves that he's come to grow so accustomed to. knowing exactly how to coax the prettiest of sounds from your lips, how to make you fall apart so easily.
a few more deep thrusts and nudges and your eyes squeeze shut, your hand pressing his face only closer. your orgasm washes over your entire body, coating price's hand and chin. you whine his name quietly causing him to chuckle tiredly, savouring every drop as he licked away your cum. he came up for air, his arms caging you in as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips nuzzling your jaw.
"round two now?"
ghost:
"easy love" the soft groan came from his mouth, his eyes barely open as he holds you close in his arms. gently moving his hips in tandem feeling your walls squeezing him as he breathed in deeply, trying to hang onto the moment. it was early, too early for him but the both of you woke up. need and desire coursing through your bodies and who as he to deny his love's wishes?
simon was barely paying any attention, sliding his cock slowly in and out of you, sometimes just stopping to let it twitch and pulse while it remained inside. there had been no end goal, no intention of cumming and rushing it all. he was still too tired to focus properly, his inhibitions lowered significantly. but he loved the feeling of your eager cunt swallowing him whole and clenching around him desperately.
"look how you're takin me love" his voice was hoarse than usual lifting his head slightly to watch as he held onto you closely. his calloused fingers traced your skin tenderly, as if committing every part to memory. but he's already mapped out every area of you, knowing you like the back of his hand.
your response was a soft hum, nodding softly as you held onto him tightly. both of you half asleep trying to fight the tiredness enough to get some relief. he was completely focused on how good you felt, how much he wanted to fill you up.
his hand drifting against your lower stomach to guide your body as he sighed softly, his eyes still half closed the feeling of you in his arms something he would never be able to describe properly. he enjoyed doing this, enjoyed bringing himself to the cusp of release before retracting. never fully allowing himself to climax just yet. his fingers dipped down your body, running deft circles across your swollen clit. humming softly at how sensitive you had grown
"that's it baby, c'mon, cum for me" your hands grabbed his forearms as the orgasm washes over you, head buried into the pillow as he pants softly in your ear. a symphony of groans and whimpers filling the air as he feels your walls tighten around his cock, ropes of cum following by buried deep inside you.
"so good f'me lovie" he kissed your cheek before moving onto your lips, his hips thrusting deeper as he watched your body contort and shake in his grasp. his name a burning prayer on your lips while he pulled your legs up higher, angeling his hips in a different way this time so his cock managed to penetrate deeper in.
he could hear you cry out his name, your nails digging into the dense muscles on his back while he groaned softly. he felt your walls constrict and tighten around him, your orgasm flowing through you.
then when it's all said and done, you both relax against one another. breathing strained as he snuggled into you, pressing soft kisses against your neck. he hadn't pulled out, not just yet. you kept him close in your arms, feeling full with how he kept himself inside you. relaxing your body as you both slip back into sleep for a while more, keeping like this for warmth and for closeness
could we have something fluffy for price? anything really i just like reading about him 🥹🫶
posted it for you, angel 🤍 hope you enjoy, i haven't written for him in so long i've forgotten all his mannerisms and stuff lmfao. but i hope you like it :")
a/n: fluffy fluff with price :") hope you enjoy 🤍 apologies if its ooc lmaoo, its been ages since i've written for him ☠
"don't make me say it, i can't say the words"
rolling your eyes, choosing to ignore the words anyway you sit on the lap of your beloved husband. his lips tinted red from the wine he's consumed throughout the night, the dinner after had left him feeling a little more clingy than usual. a little more vulnerable than he cared to admit to you or to himself.
his calloused hands were wandering, trying to memorise every part on your skin even though he could map out each and every area on your body that melted for him or made you chuckle with his eyes closed. but holding onto your body, your skin as if you'd disappear away from him.
"i think that's a lie, i think you can say those words john price" accentuating his full name elicits a small groan from his lips, something about when you took charge and commanded him brought him to his knees. a side of him price didn't usually feel safe to show others but you were different. even after the months of marriage, his heart still ached with love as it had done on the first day he had the pleasure of glancing at you. as it had done on the night you had captured his heart and held it hostage
your fingers ran though his hair scratching gently on his scalp. and he relishes in it, his eyes closing out of habit as a soft appreciative hum left his lips. he can't help but rock underneath you, bringing you in as his lips barely skimmed your jaw resting softly across the corner on your lip.
"you're a menace, you know that?" his grumble caresses your skin so softly causing a soft chuckle to fall from you and a hint of smile from him. he reached in for a kiss but you kept yours still, rigid.
tonight, you were on a mission. and certainly not one to settle for any less so you refused to kiss back causing price to sigh heavily already missing the affections. his hold on your waist tightened, breathing in the sweet musk of you and your perfume softly as he rests his forehead besides your shoulder. the words could just spill from him, you had him wrapped around your pretty finger and he didn't complain about it not once.
"iloveyou" he mumbles in your neck, breath tickling your chest. it makes you giggle, gently pushing him back. your hands lace with his bigger ones, shaking your head
"what was that?" you whispered, gently moving his face back into your sight. another huff leaves his lips but this time, there's amusement floating in his baby blues. scanning every part of your features, unable to fall hopelessly in love with you as the days went on. as if words could possibly do the emotions he felt deep down any justice, as if they could possibly come close to the love pouring out of him whenever you were nearby.
he leaned his forehead against your own, lips pulled in a small smile as his hands come to hold yours. he gently placed your open palm across his chest, his heartbeat a steady reminder that he was right there in your arms tucked away from everyone and everything that demanded his attention
"i love you, pretty. alright? i just..." he breaks off, breathing a little deeper than usual. it had been such a stark contrast, most of his youth and adult life protecting the world and closing off his heart from love. never daring to fall into it, knowing the tradegy and pain all too well. choosing to live in the moment with his work, the missions, the deployments, the long nights. keeping himself busy from the loneliness that threatened to swallow him whole
but then there you were, you came into life like an earthquake shattering his cold world completely. with you, he understood finally those sappy lyrics to songs he used to skip on the radio. with you, he understood why it felt like the hours in the day were just never enough.
how no one could hold a flame to the fire that burned for you inside him, the embers igniting deeper and more intense than he had ever anticipated but for once in his life, he didn't mind it. the leader to one of the most dangerous taskforce, calm and controlled in every aspect of his life but when it came to you everything slipped down the drain.
he wasn't the captain, he wasn't a solider, he was john price. yours, that was all that mattered. you tilted his world on its axis and for once in his life, he was reckless. he loved it, for how could he not? it landed him you, the you that he adored with every part of him.
"you're the reason i get up every morning and the reason i come back. it's soppy and mushy but you know have my heart, love. you always did" his voice is soft as he nears the end of his confession, his head resting against yours as he looked at your body splayed across his lap. larger hands intertwined together with yours, his fingers stroking soft circles across your knuckle.
there's really nothing more he could think of, you were in his heart and head no matter where he went. he was a man of few words but the ones he did have, he hoped you could understand the sincerity and the truth behind them
"i love you too" you whisper, tenderly holding his face between your palms. your thumbs sweep across the high points of his cheeks, hands resting gently across his beard giving into him completely. it was a magnetic pull, you couldn't help but bare your soul to him wanting to let him in.
your arms went behind his neck, pulling him towards you desperately as he all but melts in your embrace pushing you closer to his chest. as you got lost in the feeling of him, a surety had rose, lodged deep in his throat. his hands hold you as if you'll slip through his fingers, his lips on yours with a deep force that coursed through his veins. deepening the kiss as though your lips were his drug and he wouldn't be able to find his salvation anywhere.
he knew for certain one thing, it'll be you always. for as long as you will let him. for as long as you'll have him.
a/n: angst/fluff with simon :) i haven't done much angst here. but anyway hope you like it. ooc n rushed like usual 🤍 he cries like 1 tear lmfao
being captured with the lieutenant who has a panic attack and not your biggest fan 🤭
you could see the panic brewing in his eyes, years of enduring the worst pain inflicted on a person carved and molded to be picture perfect of a soldier but now you realise he was just as much out of his depth as you were. he was just as much human as you were though the fact seemed to escape your mind more often than not. the chair that held you down didn't give you much leverage to move but his presence was suffocating nonetheless.
the mission had gone terribly wrong, the car had been ambushed as you and him got attacked. outnumbered to fight against them all, the last thing you had remembered was being plunged with some sort of drug to knock you out and waking up tied and bound to the chair. the room was silent, dark around you both. you sighed softly, the ringing in your ear had finally settled the blood dried against your temple and neck cracking everytime you moved. you took a glance to your lieutenant expecting him to be cursing and already trying to rip himself free from the binds.
it was a complete shock to you when you saw him on the other end of the scale instead.
it was subtle. but your eyes caught on, catching every movement. the soft tremble as he tried to readjust his hands that were binded tightly behind his back against the chair, the hard swallow no longer able to hide behind the cover of his mask. they had taken the skull balaclava, you were able to glance at the face of the man who didn't have a preference for you.
you had seen his face in glances but seeing it so bare, to see the scars littered from the wear and tear that he had taken from years of rigorous combat and intensive training now, it all makes your heart throb softly in your chest. he hardly looks like the man who was on your case to become stronger, pushing you at your limits in training. his adam apple bobbing in his throat, muscles taut and tense. movements quick and jerky as if no amount of air could fill up his lungs
for the first time since you met him, he looked like he was recoiling back into himself. the strong stoic unbreakable lieutenant seemed to unravelling at the seams right in front of you and there wasn't a thing you could do to stop it.
"hey" your voice cuts in gentle but firm, bound to your chair but trying to talk to him. he could only offer a soft grunt, cheeks flushed as he tries to hold himself back. this wasn't him, wasn't the man that spent years perfecting his armour just as much as the mask he wore ensuring there was no cracks in his facade. no one could see in, he couldn't let them. after all, he was a trained assassin. a master of stealth. so how could he, of all people, be in the position right now mercy to the people who lay in the other room?
but this wasn't ghost anymore, this was simon. a tired man, exhausted from running all the time. pained by the memories that haunted his head every single day, betrayed by the people he trusted the most. it had all come crashing down at the most inconvenient time and the only other person witnessing it was you. you, the person he couldn't stand.
it made the anger burn that much hotter in his heart. you, he couldn't like you. he didn't dare give himself the chance
"shut your trap, sergeant" he hissed back hands clenched tightly around the handcuffs that forced him to stay still. he could feel his skin crawl, muscles tensing, jaw gritted with every passing moment he couldn't seem to untangle himself from the binds.
you sighed helplessly, the rest of 141 were working quickly and urgently towards your rescue as quick as possible, the tracker that was mandatory to wear during missions had come in useful. giving your coordinates just before it had shattered in the attack.
you contemplated a retort, he had been cold to you when you first joined the sas. kept out of your way when you got injured, said nothing when you helped in missions with the rest of 141. everything you seemed to do to try and have at least an amicable connection went into vain. soap and gaz said to give him time, price could only a sympathetic sigh and a hand to your shoulder but no one would help. and over the days, you learnt to just let it go. you were part of a team but that was were his loyalty ended. outside of the missions and deployments, he had no interest in talking to you.
so perhaps it was a good thing he was struggling beside you right now, maybe it was his karma for being a cold hearted bastard for years. that was the reason that you justified it with but the turn of your head stopped you.
a tear rolled down, he quickly tried to wipe it away with his shoulder cursing softly. though you knew that the floodgates were truly wide open now. it was such a foreign feeling to him, whose life had been dominated by violence and loss. these tears were buried the day he joined the taskforce, how could they rear their heads and show you his weakness, his vulnerability?
you can see the panic in his eyes, the pain at the thought of the looming attack as he tries to compose himself but its of no use. it makes your heart wrench, he was a bastard but he didn't deserve to let the enemies see him in such a private state either.
you're not sure how to comfort him, he had never needed it before and you paused, trying to wrack your head for any type of solution. he didn't seem to do well to respond to anything verbal, his mind was already spinning it would just seem to exacerbate the issue.
the next was physical touch, you hadn't actually seem him embrace anyone into he taskforce. it was always the other initiating the hug unless it was a side pat he was giving.
it was a long shot but you figured it couldn't hurt. the chair was hard to move especially with your arms tied behind it, it seemed to be a 100 times heavier than usual. he barely even hears you, too deep in his own mind to know what you were doing and a small part of you feels sorry for him, in this state you see the confidence and the aloofness stripped away. the only thing that made simon, simon seemed to be disappearing away right before your eyes.
with a last push the chair finally moves and the side of your leg touches his, his head looks down and it gives him something else to concentrate on. his face is still, unreadable and stoic, observing every little detail about you. it makes your breath hitch slightly, he's so close yet so far. yet in his eyes, the turbulent sea churns beneath. the waters ready to drag you from the surface, plunging you in to the darkness that lay just below. you haven't seen brown eyes that look so very expressive like his and for a moment, you wonder entirely if it was a mistake to have touched him like this.
his hands can't touch you, bound by his handcuffs so he settles on gently moving his leg against the side of your thigh. it's a soft movement but you swear you can feel him calm down, muscles relaxing as he continues to bask in your presence no matter what dangers lay ahead. you can barely take a breath out, this was the most he had given you the whole time you had been in the team.
his eyes make connection with yours and for a second you swear they soften, the familiar sparkle in them glinting under the dim lighting flickering in the room. how his head tilts the slightest and for a moment everything seemed perfect. seemed so correct as you leaned in the slightest
but the moment was cut and he pushed his chair back, taking a soft breath in as he focused back on the door waiting. you can feel the wall building back up between you both and with a resigned heart you looked back to the door once more, hoping whatever behind it could end your misery soon as possible.
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