a "fun fact" i read as a child is that pure honey never spoils, to the point where honey from ancient egyptian tombs was found to still be edible
i used to think about this, and imagine a poor intern who was strong-armed into putting in their one human mouth something was made literally thousands of years ago, just to make sure it could be safely eaten
but having since met scientists and having learned what freaks they are, if they did put this to the test, i am VERY confident that every single archaeologist in the room was duking it out over who got the honor of putting their tongue on that mummy's dusty old bee goo.
at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.
this post is apparently going around terf circles now so i feel like i should let y'all know that you are agreeing with a transsexual lesbian who fucks nasty. get the fuck off my post and also your "feminism" is anything but.
A survivor drags a former concentration camp guard by the hair while American troops look on at the newly liberated Dora-Mittelbau concentration camp, April 1945.
Why do we never see these photos, only photos of helpless starving people? Why are Jews only depicted as helpless and sniveling? Why is despair the only Jewish emotion that gets shown, not anger or strength or determination or joy?
I have to know the real reason for the break up!!! Im very invested in your alex x reader (x Hotch) story!!
I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
Your wish is my command, my dear
Part three after the blue!
This one needs some warnings: trigger warning! mentions of rape, past trauma, sexual assault (by unsub)
Everyone was in the bullpen during a paper day; Dave's office was finally fixed, so he was able to resume working inside. You, Derek, Alex, and Spencer were all in the bullpen, with Aaron in his office and JJ at a desk in bullpen because she didn't like the noise from the construction in the office beside her.
Spencer's mind hadn't shut up since the team's conversation about Aaron and your relationship, and he finally had the opportunity to ask you without worrying about Hotch overhearing and glaring at him.
"Y/n," he said. Everyone in the bullpen looked up at the sudden disturbance in the quiet and you raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yes?"
"Can I ask a question? About something non-work-related?"
The rest of the team stopped their work to listen for the answer.
"Um... sure?" You said, looking back down at your paper and continuing to write.
"Why did you and Hotch break up?"
Your hand froze on the paper, chest tightening, slightly, and Alex set her hand on your thigh beneath the table, comfortingly. "It was a mutual thing. I liked Alex, he liked Beth, so we ended it."
"Come on," Derek said. "There has to be more to it than that."
"No," you shrugged, trying not to show how tense you were. "We just didn't have the same feelings for each other and were happier in a different relationship."
"Hotch said the same thing, but... he and Beth met before Alex joined the team."
"And? They got together after she joined," you said.
"According to Beth, they were 'together'," Spencer said, putting up air quotes. "Morgan says that means it was complicated, which means that Hotch wasn't into just her. There was someone else he wanted."
"Yeah, well, that's Morgan, and he's not exactly the world's leading expert on steady relationships," you stated.
Spencer's eyes widened a little and Alex squeezed your thigh, comfortingly.
"Easy, y/n," Derek said. "We were just curious."
"Curiosity killed the fucking cat," you snapped, tossing your pen onto the file in front of you. "Excuse me."
You stood (probably a little more aggressively than necessary) and walked down toward the bathrooms, leaving the team shocked.
"We're missing something big here," Derek said, brows furrowing.
"Is everyone alright?" Aaron asked, exiting his office. "I heard y/n shout."
"What happened to prompt that reaction?" He asked, glancing to the door.
Alex looked up at him, knowingly. "They asked."
Aaron scowled. "What happened between me and y/n is none of your business. I've told you all you need to know and told you not to pry into it. That was out of line."
"We were just curious 'cause you lied to us," Derek said. "Rather poorly, too, considering you're both profilers."
"Morgan," he scowled. "Private lives are private for a reason. They're only your business when someone decides they are. That goes for all of you. Do you understand?"
"Fine," Derek said.
Aaron walked down the stairs when Alex stood to go comfort you, but she turned to face him and set a hand on his chest. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to comfort big y/n? Comforting her when she's little is different. I think it's best if you stay here."
"But I-"
"Aaron," she said, softly. "You know what bringing that up does to her. Leave it to me. If she wants you, I'll take her to you. I'll take care of her. You know I will."
"I... Yeah, okay. I guess," he said, quietly. "Go on."
He turned around and walked up to his office with one last glare at the team.
"I didn't... i didn't mean to..."
"It's okay, Kid. It's not your fault," Derek said, looking up at Hotch's window and finding him with his head in his hands. "We gotta find out what happened between them."
"Let's not push it for a while, okay? I'd rather not make a bad situation even worse."
"Yeah. We'll give it a bit. Maybe ask Rossi next time, instead," Derek agreed. "He seems to know something."
***************
It had been almost two months since the outburst in the bullpen. The team was in Kansas, wrapping up a case after fighting a killer with an disgusting fascination with lips and mouths. It was nearing one in the morning by the time everyone was finished cleaning up, and there was supposed to be a nasty storm hitting in thirty minutes, so the team agreed it would be best to stay the night in the hotel and wait the storm out before flying home.
Everyone had congregated in the living area of the hotel to say their goodnights, and after you, Aaron, and Alex had headed off to bed, Derek stopped Dave from doing the save.
"It's late, and I'd like to sleep," Dave said, narrowing his eyes at the three. "What are you three up to now?"
"Why did y/n and Hotch break up?" Spencer blurted.
"Seriously? Again with this? It's not your business unless they decide it is. Besides, what makes you think I know?"
"Because we know you do," Derek said.
"Okay. I know. But it's not my story to tell," he said. "When y/n is ready for you to know, she'll tell you."
"Why do you know?"
"Because when y/n went to Alex for comfort, Aaron went to me. It's not a pretty story, guys, there are no humorous parts, no 'I'm better without him' like a normal breakup. It's an ugly tale, and it was incredibly traumatic for them both. If y/n isn't ready to tell you, she isn't going to tell you, nor will, nor will Alex, and nor will Aaron, and you all need to stop prying."
"What could be so bad they feel like they can't tell us?" Spencer asked, quietly. "Y/n knows she can tell us anything."
"Because she hasn't even told Alex everything and they've been together for a year and a half. She isn't ready to talk about it. The only people who know the whole story are y/n, Aaron, and me, and the only reason I know is because Aaron told me. When she is ready, she will tell you, but until she decides she's ready, you all don't need to bring it up, and next time you do, Aaron will clobber all of you. So will Alex. Don't ask about it. Now if you'll excuse me, it's late, and I'd like to fall asleep before the storm starts."
He walked away and the three agents looked at each other with a frown before heading off to their own rooms.
************************
It wasn't until almost six months later than the team found out exactly why you and Aaron broke it off. They'd managed to come to several conclusions.
1. Aaron clearly still had feelings for you.
2. You clearly still had feelings for him (and for Alex at the same time)
3. Little y/n very obviously still recognized Aaron as a caregiver and sought comfort from both him and Alex, even though Big y/n only sought comfort from Alex.
And 4. There was some kind of dual-respect relationship happening between Aaron and Alex that they're just now noticing.
The team was in Delaney, Minnesota - the case itself had been fairly easy to solve, but the apprehension of the suspect (Dean Wallace) had gone rather poorly. While attempting to arrest the man, he hid in an old home; the building was condemned and in shitty condition, but it gave him ample places to hide.
The team had split up; you and Derek; Spencer, JJ, and a local LEO; Dave and Alex; and Aaron and another local LEO.
You and Derek were in what looked to be an old bedroom; the room itself was empty, though there was a massive hole in the wall, and the closet door was closed.
Derek set a hand on the closet door knob and you pressed flat against the wall on the other side of it. He counted to three without sound and when you nodded at him, swung the door open. You swung into the doorway, gun up, but were quickly overpowered by the man that jumped out at you. He threw your gun outside through the hole in the wall and held his own to your temple as he pinned your back to his front.
He spoke, mouth on the shell of your ear, and it sent a disgusted shiver down your spine. "You're pretty."
"Let her go!" Derek ordered. "Hotch, in here!"
You couldn't breathe. Your head was spinning, body shaking.
Not again. Not again. Not again.
"Y/n, look at me!" Alex called. "Look at me."
You tried, but your vision was blurred by tears when the hand that was keeping you pinned against his body started feeling you up.
"Let her go, Wallace," Derek ordered, pressing a step closer. The unsub held you tighter, placing his hand on your breast and you cried out, struggling as his gun pressed tighter against your temple.
"Ah ah," Wallace said. "I don't think you can make that shot without hurting your friend... Back up. All of you."
"Y/n, look at me," Aaron said.
"Got it," Derek said, gun aimed.
"He'll miss," he snapped.
"What're the chances of that, y/n?" Aaron asked. "Do the math."
You were still crying and struggling.
"Y/n, look at me," he said again. "Come on, look at me, and do the math, what are the chances Derek makes the shot?"
Derek was too focused on maintaining the shot to dwell on why Aaron used his given name for very long.
"G-good light..." you hiccuped. "N-no wind... familiarity with his weapon... n-ninety-seven percent."
"Take it," he said, holding eye contact with her.
Derek pulled the trigger and the unsub dropped. Aaron jumped forward and caught you before you could hit the rotting floor and you clung to him, tightly, wrapping your legs around his waist.
"You were there!" You cried.
"I'm here," he whispered, holding onto you. "I'm not going anywhere. Bastard's dead, Sweetheart."
The rest of the team watched in confused silence; Dave set a gentle hand on your back and one on Aaron's shoulder.
"You drive her and Alex back to the hotel. I'll take the others and we'll clean up and meet you there."
"Thanks," Alex said, softly.
Everyone shuffled out of the room and Alex wrapped herself around you from behind, sandwiching you between her and Aaron. You cried into Aaron's neck, babbling breathlessly about him being there over and over again.
Aaron was silent through most of it, too afraid to speak because then you'd know he was crying, too.
He walked you out to the only remaining SUV a few minutes later, and allowed Alex to sit down in the passenger seat before setting you down in her lap for the eight-minute drive back to the hotel and getting in the driver's seat. You nuzzled into Alex's neck, but stuck a hand out in Aaron's direction, seeking contact. He let you hold onto his wrist and drove one-handed over to the hotel.
After parking, he got out and opened the door for you and Alex. You walked between them, trying to stop your cries, and all three of you holed up in Aaron's room to wait for the team. You laid on the bed, facing Alex and snuggled into her neck, with Aaron against your back, one of his legs between yours and Alex's. One of Alex's arms was slung over your waist and around Aaron's, and Aaron's arm was slung across you and around Alex, cocooning you tightly in a way they both knew you liked.
By the time your cries stopped, you were falling asleep, and Aaron drifted off soon after, Alex following. It was almost two hours later that the team shuffled into the hotel room.
"Awe," JJ said, softly.
"Let's let them sleep. I'll call the pilots. Have postpone a few hours."
They crept out of the room and Spencer spoke up.
"What do you think that was about?"
"What?" Dave asked.
"She said 'you were there'. That's... weirdly specific and not what you'd expect to hear someone say after something like that," he explained.
"I don't know," Dave lied, smoothly. "But I suggest not bringing it up for a bit, okay?"
"Got it," Derek said.
When you finally woke up, you heard talking; it was Alex and Aaron's whispering voices.
"I think she's waking up," Aaron said. Alex looked at you and smiled softly.
"Morning, Princess," she smiled, softly. "How are you feeling?"
"Mm," you mumbled, nuzzling into Alex's chest. "We going home soon?"
"Dave said he called the pilots a few minutes ago. They'll be ready in thirty."
"Good," you said. "Get me the fuck out of here."
Aaron started to pull away and you quickly tightened your thighs around his with a whine. "Don't go."
"Which is it? You wanna stay like this or you wanna go home?" Alex asked.
You pouted but relaxed your legs enough for Aaron to slip away and start gathering his stuff.
"Dave said he packed up your gobags for you," he said, standing at the foot of the bed. "They're waiting in the car."
"I gotta move?" You whined.
"You gotta move," Alex said, mocking your whining tone and poking at your ribs.
"No," you grumbled, rolling away from her.
"Up up," Alex said, poking your again. You whined and stood.
"Aaron, make her stop!" You pouted.
"Sorry, Charlie," he snorted. "Come on. Everyone's waiting in the car."
You slid your shoes on (though you didn't remember taking them off in the first place) and allowed Alex to take your hand as you walked.
"Are you going to tell them?" Aaron asked, quietly, taking your other hand.
"I think I have to," you said with a soft scoff.
"Hey, if you're not ready to tell them, they'll respect it," Aaron said, protectively. "Even if i have to make them respect it."
"Easy, Peritas," you said, squeezing his hand. "I know it hasn't been easy for you, keeping this a secret from everyone. I uh... I'll tell them. It wouldn't be fair to keep it from them after seeing that."
"Are you going to tell them all of it?" He asked, casting a look to Alex.
"Why'd you look at me?" Alex asked.
"I uh... I wasn't entirely truthful about everything that happened to me," she said. "I was just... so scared that you were going to leave me. So, I didn't tell you everything. I didn't lie about anything that happened, what I told you did happen, I just... didn't tell you everything."
"It's okay, Baby," she said, kissing your temple as you approached the car.
The ride to the jet was spent in silence; no one asked any questions, though it was rather blatantly obvious that they wanted to.
After loading onto the jet and taking off, you cleared your throat to get everyone's attention and they all looked at where you were sitting on the couch between Aaron and Alex.
"Can uh... can we talk for a second?" You asked, flattening your hands between your thighs to hide the way they were shaking.
Everyone circled on the jet floor around them.
"I uh... I know you guys have a lot of questions for me and Aaron. And I think..." you took a deep breath. "I think I'm ready to answer them."
"Are you sure?" JJ asked.
"Yeah, I think it's time you guys knew," you said.
Alex wrapped her arm around your shoulders.
"About two years ago, I was raped," you said.
"What?" Derek asked, fisting his hands. "Who-"
"I fell hardcore into little space. It was right after the case with Paris Huck, and the death of that little boy really got to me. I was at home when I dropped, and I called Aaron because I really, really needed someone."
"I was too busy to hear my personal phone ringing," Aaron spoke up, eyes wet with unshed tears. "So, she called my work phone. And I didn't realize the gravity of her situation because she wasn't little when she called me and I didn't know she was slipping. I told her I'd finish the file I was working on and be right over. I uh... I got distracted, and continued working, completely forgetting that I had a Princess that needed me. That uh... that had never happened before. I didn't know she was slipping, and when she called me, she only asked if I planned on coming over that night. I should have taken the hint that she needed me and it went right over my head. I got so distracted with work, I forgot that she asked me to come over."
"I dropped. Hard. I was alone in the house, playing with my stuffed animal and I left the door unlocked because Little me knew Daddy was supposed to be coming over soon. But uh... when the door opened... it wasn't Aaron."
"Oh, y/n," JJ said, softly.
"They uh... I'd never met any of them before. Didn't recognize them. I guess they didn't see a car in the driveway and thought no one was home. A home-invasion turned rape when they saw me in one of Daddy's big tee shirts. Little me couldn't fight one of them off, let alone all four. They uh... they went to town. For almost an hour and a half."
"I'm gonna kill 'em," Derek snarled.
"By the time I'd realized I'd forgotten, it was almost two hours later," Aaron said. "I went over there, expecting to have a grumpy Princess mad at me for not being there when I said I would be and instead found a naked one, covered in bruises, lying unconscious on the living room floor in a puddle of semen that she'd puked up." JJ gasped, softly and Spencer stared at you, wet-eyed and trying not to cry. Aaron's jaw tightened and he swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to hold back the tears. "I woke her up. Got her to a hospital. Little y/n was glad Daddy got there and fought them off. She uh... she didn't remember falling unconscious with them there. All she knew was that when she woke up, she was in Daddy's arms in a room at the emergency room. I uh... I could barely look at her. I felt..." his voice broke. "...so horrible that I wasn't there for her."
"I uh," you started. "I had a home surveillance system. Caught all their faces on camera. Local pd arrested them and charged them. They're still doing time."
"Good," Derek snarled. "The mother fuckers."
"We broke up a few weeks later," Aaron said. "I just... I couldn't trust myself anymore. I couldn't trust myself to take care of her after it happened. She needed someone that could take care of her, and that was clearly no longer me. Big y/n knew what happened after the fact. She uh... when she came out of little space, she knew I wasn't there, I didn't fight them off. That's why she freaked out the way she did when Wallace felt her up, and why she started saying 'you were there' after Morgan shot him."
"So it wasn't mutual. And you both still have feelings for each other," JJ said, softly.
You and Aaron both nodded and you wiped you eyes, taking a deep breath to steady yourself and feeling Aaron do the same.
"But I also love Alex. I love them both. I might not be fucking Aaron anymore, but he's still my Daddy. I still love him. That won't change. That's why Aaron and Alex are so okay with trading care of me. Aaron won't let me out of his sight while I'm little after what happened, but he knows I need someone to take care of me, and if Alex is temporarily unable to do that, then he does it for her."
"So it's like... platonic parents?" Derek asked.
"Basically. I uh... up until recently I wasn't comfortable with being in a relationship with both of them. But... after what happened today, I think we need a conversation about what a triad is."
"I'm sorry that happened, y/n," Derek said, softly. "And I'm sorry for pushing the issue. It didn't even occur to me that the cause of your breakup could have been so traumatic until I pushed it in the bullpen."
"We're all sorry," Spencer said.
"It's okay," you said. "Just... next time? Don't go to Dave for secrets."
Aaron looked down at you. "You knew I told him."
"You sure as hell didn't tell Haley," you snorted. "I didn't mind it. I went to Alex for help, and I knew you needed someone to go to."
"I love you, you know that right?"
"Of course, Daddy."
"Blegh," Derek laughed.
"You'll find out when you get a steady significant other," you said, turning to Alex. "And I love you, too."
She kissed your forehead. "Ditto, Princess."
***************
I really hope yo guys liked it, and I'm really sorry it got kind of sad, but apparently a lot of you got really invested in this story, so, here it is!
E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;
Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);
BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;
Charlotte Dillon - Research links;
Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;
One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;
One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!
Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;
National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;
Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;
Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;
The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;
Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;
QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);
Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;
Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;
I hope this is helpful for you!
(Also, check my blog if you want to!)
xRainyDazex @xrainydazeteax - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
jimmyeatworldofficial
pixelskylines
theartofmadeline
amandla
areudirty
stormborns
blakekathryn
gummygunk
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
