Sherlock Holmes || Does heaven exist?
Trigger warning - Death & s*icide
Tuesday 17th January 2012
Maybe I knew something like this would happen, with our line of work. I thought I'd have a chance to say goodbye. I wasn't even sure it would work out between us, but I never thought it would end like this. The one thing I am sure about is that I couldn't live without him.Â
I love you, Sherlock, I'll see you soon.Â
"Anderson, where did you find this?" Lestrade asks as he fights back tears.
"In her bedroom," he responds.
"There's no way it's what you're thinking Boss. Who would do something like this for that freak?" Donovan says as she sits down.Â
"Get out Donovan, you're not working this case. She was in love with him, people do all kinds of things for love."
Y/n was cleaning up in 221b Baker Street, waiting for Sherlock to come back, hoping to relieve some of the pressure from Moriarty, until the sound of the phone disturbs you. You dart up, hoping it was Sherlock, you hadn't had much time with each other lately, with Sherlock being distracted with Moriarty and y/n being overworked by Lestrade, in an effort to keep you distracted. But you couldn't wait for everything to go back to normal, the press to leave Sherlock alone, and to stop calling him a fake, and to go back to working cases together in your free time. You wanted to ask Sherlock to marry you.Â
"Y/n?" Lestrade's voice came through the phone.Â
"Greg? Do you need me to come in?" You question.
"Y/n... I'm sorry... Sherlock... he's-"
"No, don't tell me he's been arrested. He's not a fake Greg you know he isn't. He's brilliant," you say as you think of all the cases that have been solved because of him.
"Y/n... He's dead. Sherlock's dead," Greg says quietly.
"No, he can't be. Where is he Lestrade? How much has he paid you to tell me this? Where the hell is he?" You question as you think about some of the fucked up things he's done to prove a point.
"Y/n... He's dead. He killed himself, I'm sorry. We couldn't save him, he was dead when he hit the ground," Greg explains.
You sank to the floor, "o-okay," you utter as tears begin to flow down your cheeks. You are going to live without Sherlock, you will never see him again, you will never have to tell him that he was being rude, you would never see him smile again, you will never be able to hear him explain the reasons that you're too clever to work for the police. You could never listen to him playing the violin or humming to the radio that he swore he hated.Â
"I believe that she is dead, let's not waste any more time looking for her. Her boyfriend was proven to be a fake and a criminal, she was probably helping him. He threw himself off the roof to make a scene, without him she will have done something quieter. We'll find her body eventually. Without him what did she have?" The Chief Superintendent says.Â
"No, she wasn't like that."
"You're an idiot Lestrade, you didn't see it with Sherlock Holmes and you didn't see it with y/f/n y/l/n," he says before telling Lestrade, Anderson, and Donovan to leave.Â
"We all missed it with Y/n Boss. Don't be too hard on yourself," Donovan says to Lestrade when they get out of the Chief's office.Â
"No Donovan. she wasn't like that and neither was Sherlock."
"Y/n, I can come round if you like. We can cry and I'll bring you something to eat," Mrs. Hudson says through the phone, worried about you, worried about your emotional state.Â
"No Mrs. Hudson, I'm fine. I'd rather not have visitors at the moment, I can cope," y/n said, pretending like she was dealing with the situation well.
"Promise to call me if you need me?" Mts. Hudson says as she ends the call.Â
You collapse on the sofa and turn on the news, "Sherlock Holmes, the fake detective has been confirmed dead!" The headline blared out, as much as you didn't want to hear it, you couldn't bring yourself to turn it off. You were confused, shouldn't you feel more grief? Shouldn't you cry? Shouldn't you want to be comforted? But instead, you sat staring emotionless at the TV. You couldn't help thinking that you failed, you hadn't seen the signs. You should have fought harder when Moriarty was planting doubts in people's minds. You were fighting for an explanation, but you wouldn't let anyone in to explain.Â
Y/n sat on the couch staring emotionless at the newspaper on your lap. 'I can't do this, I can't live without him' you think to yourself, but someone knocking on the door interrupts your thoughts. You stand up, look in the mirror and wipe the smudged mascara off your face. You walk to your apartment door and open it revealing Mycroft.Â
"Y/n how are you?" He questions.Â
"Mycroft? What are you doing here?" You question as you lean on the door frame, blocking the view into your apartment.Â
"Y/n can I come in? We need to talk," Mycroft says.
"Now's not really a good time," you say praying that he will take the hint and leave.Â
"Y/n I'm not leaving until you have listened to what I have to say. I know what you plan to do, and I will not let you until you have heard this. You know my brother would never have let you and neither will I," Mycroft says as I move out of the way to let him in.Â
"Well Sherlock isn't here anymore, he killed himself. He doesn't get a say in how I live, or die," you say as you sit down.
"So what? You shoot yourself? Y/n I ca,e here to tell you something you will be interested in. Sherlo-"
"No Mycroft. I'm not talking about Sherlock, I can't. I won't," you say as you fight back tears.
"Y/n Sherlock isn't dead. It was fake, he had to do it. Otherwise, other people would have been killed," Mycroft says as he looks at you.Â
"What? How long have you known? How did he?" You question.
"He knew Moriarty would have wanted him dead, so we planned accordingly," Mycroft says calmly.Â
"You knew? Why has it taken this long for me to be told? He let me think he was dead. Why would he do that?" You question, looking around for your jacket.
"He wanted to tell you, but I wouldn't let him. The only reason you are finding out now is he said he was coming back. So I came, people cannot know he is still alive, not yet. So you can't see him, I'm sorry," Mycroft pauses, "unless."
"Unless? What do I have to do? I need to see him Mycroft, I will do anything," you say urgently.Â
"You will have to fake your own death also, nobody can know. If you do this you won't be able to see anyone, Detective Inspector Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, John Watson, or Molly Hooper. No one can know you're alive," Mycroft says.Â
"I'll do it, when do I need to do it by?"
"Soon, I presume you will be doing it so it appears as suicide?" Mycroft questions.
"Yes, it doesn't take much time and if I do it right, they won't need to be a body," you say and grab your laptop. You search up the quickest directions to the coast. "If I make it seem like I've thrown myself off a cliff or something then there's a possibility my body will have been swept out to sea. I'll just need to go there and leave my car and my jacket at the top," you say to Mycroft.Â
"Leave a note and make it believable y/n."
You grab your diary, a pen and begin scrawling.Â
Tuesday 17th January 2012
Maybe I knew something like this would happen, with our line of work. I thought I'd have a chance to say goodbye. I wasn't even sure it would work out between us, but I never thought it would end like this. The one thing I am sure about is that I couldn't live without him.
I love you, Sherlock, I'll see you soon.
You leave the note and pen on your desk, next to your laptop, and grab your coat, indicating to Mycroft that you were done. You both walk to your door and you take one last look at your apartment and smile.Â
"We believe it was too much for her to cope with. We found a note in her apartment, along with a google search to the coast. We sent an officer up there where they found her car and her jacket at the top. We believe she jumped and the sea has washed away her body, I'm sorry but I don't think we will ever find her body," Lestrade tells John and Mrs. Hudson.Â
"Where?" John questions.Â
"I don't know exactly where they wouldn't tell me," Greg says as he looks around, trying to remain strong for the people in front of him.Â
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
"Mycroft, it's done," you say as you climb into the car.Â
"They think you're dead? Are you sure, I am not putting anyone in danger unless they assume you are dead," Mycroft says.Â
After 30 minutes of silence, Mycroft finally spoke, "we're here. My brother is inside, he will bring you up to speed about what's going to happen next."
You walk down a path, leading up towards an old house, open the door, and step inside. "Hello?" You shout, loud enough for anyone in the house to hear.Â
"Y/n? You came?" You hear someone say behind you.Â
You spin around and see Sherlock, you run to him and wrap your arms around his waist, breathing in his scent.Â
"Of course I came, I know you know what I was planning on doing," you say as you pull back and look at him.Â
"Yes," he says sadly, "but the important thing is that you're okay now."
"I'm just happy you're alive."
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
Lestrade walks out of the station and walks to his car. He unlocks the door and climbs in. He turns on the radio and finally lets the tears flow, finally letting his guard down.
It hurt how people could get so desperate.
Is there really any point?
There's no place like heaven,Â
