...I will break down the beautiful irony of the final fight in RotG
(WARNING: Spoilers for some of the plot, lore and ending of The Return of the Gods, book 1 of the Children of the Sun series, below the cut)
The final fight at the climax of book 1 happens on top of an old cathedral in Enbrant.
Cathedrals are, by definition, the churches which house the chair/throne of a bishop. In other words, they represent the head of a religious unit.
And who was Kaleth intending to assasinate from the roof of one?
Relioth Morthan. The president of Enoria. The head of state.
But of course, we know Relioth is much more than just an ordinary politician. He is also Tharos, the God of War. The Conqueror of the North.
He was worshipped by humans, once upon a time, at cathedrals and churches most likely similar to the one seen at the end of book 1.
But not anymore, of course. He made humanity forget. Religion has died out in Enoria.
Only the old skeletal remains of the time humans knew of their Gods are left.
An old cathedral. A monument to a moment in history that's been forgotten for centuries. Just like Relioth's true identity, and all the devotion that comes with it.
And Kaleth on top of it, preparing to kill the very same God the church would've worshipped.
In much the same way as all of the blind faith, loyalty and worship the humans expressed to the Eternal Gods has died out, so has, in that moment, all of the blind faith, loyalty and kinship Kaleth felt for Relioth Morthan died out.
And in both cases, it is by Relioth's own hand. The maker of his own demise. Like he always does, he self sabotages. He destroys, himself and everyone and everything around him. It's tragic, really, how he kills the affection felt for him by anyone, and it in turn kills him right back.
Now there's only the ruined remains of something that had been good, once. And there's anger, and betrayal, and Kaleth pulls the trigger.
It doesn't kill Relioth, of course. But it sets in motion the chain of events that would eventually bring about his downfall in book 2.
The beautiful irony remains though, that he doesn't fall at the hands of things that hate him. He falls at the hands of things that loved him.
He falls precisely because he was loved. Devoted to. So loyal to it could end no other way except catastrophe once his machinations were revealed. The truth of them would hit so hard everything would implode.
And it does, as we see in the book.
Kaleth trusted him fully. There was no doubt in his mind Relioth was his friend. He stood up for him constantly against Rayni, and everyone else who would tell him not to trust Reli. In an odd way, without even knowing it, he worshipped too.
Unfortunately he worshipped at Relioth's little altar of lies, but I digress.
It's just so haunting to watch the man who once felt such devotion to him crumble apart at all of his lies and attempt to assasinate him from the roof of the very same church built to worship him, crumbled apart yet again at all of his lies and forgotten to time as he himself caused it to be, isn't it?
Love kills. Lies kill.
And we know this isn't the only moment in this series where that message is reinforced.
'You're a bastard for disappearing on me for so long, you know' Kaleth types out the text, his gaze hard and enraged on his phone. It's been an age since Relioth texted him anything. Usually he spams a million times per day, which annoys Kaleth to no end, but Gods dammit, not being spammed a million times per day annoys him more.
He glares harder at their chat history as he hovers his thumb over the send button. The last text Relioth sent him that Kaleth had ignored at the time because he'd been preoccupied before this silence had been a short and simple one.
'I'll do anything, please'
He remembers what he'd thought when he'd read that text at the time. He'd thought there's nothing Relioth could do to make up for his lies. He'd never forgive him no matter what.
And yet.
Relioth being Relioth, the annoying, stupid, insane bastard that he is, found the one thing that would make up for his wrongs. And then did it.
Kaleth will never forgive him that either. He's not even sure what he's angrier about anymore, the fact Relioth redeemed himself or the way he did that.
He grits his teeth as a frenzy of rage overcomes him and he sends his text in a rush, heart lurching momentarily at how pathetic it may make him look, before he rolls his eyes at himself and casts that away.
It doesn't matter. It's not like Relioth will read it anyways.
Kaleth pauses as that thought fires through his mind like lightning, searing him just as much. His eyes sting. Relioth won't read these texts. He could write anything at all and it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't change the situation with the foppish bastard.
He blinks away the unwanted tears, strangles his aching heart into shutting up and decides to turn the tables and be the one spamming for once.
Scream into the void, as it were.
If only the fucking void would scream back—
'I'm so angry at you. I hate you. I want to yell at your stupid lying face so much still. It's awful. I don't want to be stuck feeling like this, but I am. And it's your fault. Everything is your fault'
'Who told you you get to act heroic? How dare you even try that after being a murderous bastard for millennia? How dare you succeed at it?'
'And don't get me started on how stupid I got to feel for defending you in front of everyone who knew better than me that you were hiding things! Thanks for that, that was really what I needed amidst all the other crises I had to deal with'
'I thought I was supposed to stand up for my friend back then. But you were an awful friend too, you know! All you ever did is invite me out for drinks and sip your stupid fruity cocktails with those dumb cutesy umbrellas and crack the worst, most unbearably amusing jokes I never laughed at out of principle. Awful, you're awful on all fronts'
He types and types and types, unable to stop spilling all his bitterness into the chat history, spamming the texts one after the other. He hopes Relioth's phone melts from the overload, wherever it is right now.
"Hey, honey, are you okay?" Mel's soft voice snaps Kaleth from his frenzy, and he whips his head up to look at his husband, blinking in confusion at the question when he registers it.
"What?" he dumbly asks, his phone gripped in his hand so tightly his knuckles have turned white.
Mel sits on the couch next to him in their living room, his brow furrowed with concern, "You're crying," he says, watching Kaleth closely.
Kaleth bristles at that, face twisting into a grimace. When did that happen? He didn't realize.
"I'm fine, love," he nods to Mel and tries for a smile, lifting his hand to wipe his wet face, heart stuttering with pain all over again despite his best efforts.
Mel shakes his head gently, shuffling closer to him and putting an arm out to hug Kaleth to himself, "It's okay if you're sad about it, you know," he mumbles.
Kaleth curls into the hug, closes his eyes, "I'm not sad about anything though. I don't know what you're talking about," he nods firmly against Mel's shoulder, his voice barely stable enough not to give him away.
Mel sighs in response, and squeezes him tighter into his arms, silent for a moment before piping up again, "I—was about to head out to the cemetery. Will you come with me this year? It might do you some good."
Kaleth presses his eyes closed more firmly, shakes his head resolutely, "No, love, sorry. There's just nothing for me there," he insists, as he does every year Mel asks this.
Mel hesitates for a moment, struggling with himself, but then seems to give in and nods, "Okay honey. I'm just saying," he rubs Kaleth's back with a hand, his voice gentle, "I'm always here for you if you want to talk," he nods, repeating the same reassurances as always.
Kaleth lifts his head and smiles at him, "I know you are, love. You always are," he leans in and kisses him briefly, full of love for him just as much as he is full of rage for Relioth, "I'm okay though," he shakes his head, casting away the thoughts, "I love you," he lets go of Mel then, letting him get up.
Mel nods slowly, "I love you too, honey. I'll—be back soon. It's just—it's the anniversary, I feel like I should visit at least today, if no other time," he chews on his lip nervously, as if he ever needs to explain himself to Kaleth.
"Okay," Kaleth just nods, waving him on, "you don't need to justify anything, love."
Mel smiles, "Yeah, course, sorry," he stands up again, "See ya in a bit, yeah? I hope you're really okay," he mutters, his voice sadly knowing all the same.
Of course he can sense the bond ringing.
Kaleth simply ignores that, however, "Of course I am. See you soon," he waves to Mel, watches him leave their house.
When the door clicks shut behind him, Kaleth turns back to his phone still in his hand, and sighs, suddenly so exhausted and aching all over. Stupid heartbreak.
He types another two texts, sends them, and then deletes Relioth's number from his phone and throws it aside, exchanging staring at it for staring at the wall blankly.
'You wanna know what you're most awful at though? Staying fucking alive apparently, despite doing it for thousands of years. Fuck you. Come back'
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