[tpwrtrmnky]

Fucking incredible that this is the first example they used lmao

[bunnygirlpaws]

the last one is pretty funny too

[nothingdoingcomic]

Nothing Doing no. 66

[apricatt-art]

close enough, welcome back blue lions!

[contourkit-deactivated20160224]

What if everything gets better in 2016

[melonisopod]

[houndmother]

[picklerocket]

[fandoms-run-my-life]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[yokolate]

Coco & Brushbuddy Witch Hat Atelier - 1x03 (2026) Kamome Shirahama

[knowyournewmeme]

You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*

Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs

[bornagainchristianbaby]

[wifemoji]

white ppl with small dogs will go places u never thought possible

[wifemoji]

this was about a dog i saw inside mcdonalds but ur right . ur so right.

[cow-inthe-closet]

friend whos always planning everything: hey guys lets do something this week!! when are you all available?

friend whos always available: i can do whenever

friend whos constantly busy: im sorry i have work and then school and then the labyrinth and then more work :( i can do tuesday at 3:00 am for five minutes tho

friend with the randomly generated sleep schedule: (no response)

friend who went missing in the woods behind their house 12 years ago and hasn't been heard from since: (no response)

friend whos really into genshin impact: does anyone want to play genshin impact

[gallusrostromegalus]

:/ good job me.

So I had a job interview today and there was a dude in the waiting room who was chatting up every AFAB person in the waiting room whether they responded or not, and kept going “Hey I’m real good at Origami Swans you want one?” and then writing his number on sticky notes before making paper cranes and handing them to his latest target before turning his attention to the next lady in his vicinity.  A little sad, a lot annoying, but unlikely to be dangerous.  Whatever.

Dude gets to me.  We have half a conversation where he asks me personal questions and I don’t look up from my phone.  I get my “Swan”.  I’m the last AFAB person in the room so he’s kinda sitting there.

I get to a post about a friend needing moral and/or spiritual support before a medical procedeure, so my ADHD ass goes Oh hey, we have an animal effigy we could sacrifice to the relevant gods! So I take out my lighter and burn the swan roughly 23 seconds after the dude gave it to me, and crush the ashes in my hand because I belatedly realize there’s no sink for me to throw this in.  Oh well.  Purell the ashes off.

I look up.  Dude, and everyone else in the waiting room is staring at me.

“You, uh.  Smoke?” Dude tries.

What I Meant To Say: “No I just carry a lighter as a holdover from survival camp as a kid, and if I’m wearing synthetic fabrics that start to ravel, I can use the flame to melt them a bit so they stop.”

What I Actually Said: “No I just have one in case I need to set something on fire.”

I put the lighter away.  The hiring manager comes out and calls my name.  I go back and have what I think was a reasonably sucessful job interview.  I come back out.

Dude, and half of the other candidates are GONE.

unintentionalpowermoves.oops

[stupidestasshole]

just took a succulent bite out of my #amazingdigitalcarcass

[tragicwaif]

A fujoshi hhas tough but sensitve gray skin and a prehensile truck they can use to bring food and water to their mouths or grasp things.

[pierogiy]

every day i learn and grow, too

[demilypyro]

[hapalopus]

man, what are we doing

[sandmandaddy69]

[corvid-ia]