Lady Moonlight

She/Her • Spanish | English • Manga/anime • Books • Otomes • Analysis | Theories • “How do you want to do this?” •

[yafhi]

Suo is a strategist and a very good fighter. He is the brains and the heart of class 1-1. He is a jester and like to tease his friends. He is intelligent…

[Caption: Sakura saying Suo cannot be sick because it’s said, in Japan, idiots cannot catch colds]

… but it doesn’t change the fact Sakura considers him an idiot.

Which, in a sense, Suo is. Not trusting his friends, leaving without saying anything… only an idiot would do that, isn’t it?

[i-heart-hxh]

So, a few days ago I found this post on Reddit from 2 years ago (that sadly barely got any attention at the time) that sheds a ton of light on the separation scene between Gon and Killua, and my mind is blown! I've known for years that there was some sort of Togashi "coding" in the dialogue and it was always like I could get halfway to understanding, but this post gives the rest of the puzzle pieces that I was missing, and ties into other scenes that I was uncertain about the meaning of as well. It's heartbreaking, but also hopeful for their future! I had to share it with you all. Please read it!

The original Reddit post has been deleted, but here is a link to the author's Reddit profile. (I received permission from the original author to post this here.)

In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'

The translations across the separation scene in both manga (chp 338) and the anime (ep 147, 2011) have some shortfalls. These dialogues are vital for understanding even the first layer of reasons behind this separation.

REASONS FOR KILLUA'S DELICATELY PLANNED SEPARATION 

1. WHEN -

There are very important reasons why Killua picked a specific timing to tell Gon about Alluka. It was Killua's plan all along, to only tell Gon at a moment's notice, to make sure Gon won’t get time to ask any DETAILS. He is deliberately downplaying the seriousness of everything he’s been through to heal Gon, so it will have less impact on Gon, and at the same time, avoid Gon asking details. Prior to healing Gon, Killua specifically asked Morel and Leorio to promise not to tell Gon that he saved him. After Gon was healed, there was a scene in the anime (ep 148) which showed the three spent a night together before reaching the World Tree. During that time, Killua still haven't said anything. It wasn't until the moment when they were literally saying the last goodbye, Killua casually brought up:

“Oh, by the way, this guy healed you."

I want to emphasis the word Killua used to address Alluka was “こいつ”. This is a very light and overly casual word used to address someone you know, and usually a playful guy friend (e.g. “This guy used to be my neighbour.” type of feeling). The manga and anime translation, “She’s the one that healed you,” did not clearly depict the intentional casualness.

2. WHAT was SAID -

If Killua just doesn’t want to burden Gon with guilt and responsibility, then why not just keep his mouth shut and say nothing? That’s because Killua found a better option than not telling Gon anything. Killua shifted the “priority of reasons” a bit, so the VERSION OF EVENTS he told Gon, was PRIORITIZED on Alluka’s rescue rather than healing Gon. This way, they will also get to THANK Gon, and put an emphasis on thanking Gon because Killua make it SEEMED like it was more important to rescue Alluka, that the INITIAL REASON for Killua to go home, was to rescue Alluka. Only AFTER Alluka was freed, they came to the hospital to heal Gon, out of convenience, since only Alluka has the ability to do so, and since she’s now outside. The MAIN motive for these past events has been delicately swapped around by Killua, so the focus switched to the rescue of Alluka, rather than healing Gon. Hence Alluka is “No. 1”, Gon is “No. 2”. Downplaying it so healing Gon was just a bonus convenience (ep 147, 19:12 to 19:51).

Killua then goes on another level to make this version of events seem even more realistic, by saying “….You owe me a lot now,” in a teasing and playful tone of voice. This is to again, downplay the seriousness of everything he’s been through, to comfort Gon that "Yes you owe me one now, but don’t you worry! I will make sure you pay it back okay?! Hehe!”

3. WHY -

The fight with Pitou allowed Killua to witness Gon's ultimately immature mind set when it comes to “repaying someone, and redeeming himself.” Kite lost an arm and his life to protect him. So Gon gave his life and was even more happy when Pitou took his arm too. Gon will always want to “match” what was sacrificed by another, by throwing away AT LEAST the same. Not “sacrificing”, but THROWING AWAY. It’s so immature, so dangerous, no one will be able to keep up with him. Killua was very confident with how much he could take, but even Killua himself is at limit. This ultimate baka!! (ep 136, 17:50 - 20:17)

If this is how far Gon will go for Kite, he can only imagine what Gon would go recklessly into if he knew the DETAILS. This is when Killua decided on a way to part with Gon the way they did, and to PROVIDE him a particular REASON.

“I’m prepared to spent the rest of my life protecting her.” 

This is the reason Killua wants Gon to know, but NOT what he actually wants to do with his life. Although it’s true he feels responsible and genuinely wish to protect Alluka and Nanika, but it’s not what he ultimately WANTS to do. He NEEDS to protect Alluka, but he WANTS to spent his entire life by the side of a certain baka…

After the previous events, Killua was traumatized, especially when he saw Gon's twisted decaying arm. That was a breaking point for him, after that, the only thing that matters THE MOST for him is for Gon to be safe. He also realized that in order to protect this baka... it’s better if he keeps a distance for now, until he finds a solution to keep Alluka safe from Illumi and his family.

4. THE PARTING -

By planning this parting with Gon, Killua hopes Gon will become detached from him. And that time and distance will slowly render him less important to Gon. So if he was to die... (because Illumi is hunting them down) he did for Alluka, he did it for the vow to protect Alluka, not Gon. We knew Killua always plans ahead, and here, he plants this reason for Gon in the future so he won’t need to feel responsible if he was to die protecting Alluka (or die with Alluka while Illumi is hunting them). This is what’s going through Killua’s head:

“If I die, you’re not responsible for anything. You don’t owe me anything, so NEVER throw your life away again. My only one wish, is for you to be safe. So here I am. I’m parting ways with you... Because I SAID you are only ... No. 2 ... I SAID you are not the most important to me.. So don’t think of me as the most important to you too….”

This, is Killua’s eternal Devotion. 

5. THE RESULT -

As a result of this deliberate planning by Killua,

Gon was made to believe:

While I was recovering in hospital Killua had to go home and rescue his sister 

Alluka is such a cute sister and she can grant Killua any wish?!!! Wow…that’s one cool sister…

Well… no wonder Killua thinks his cool sister is more important than me, it’s only natural. 

Looks like Killua finally found what he wants to do. He will enjoy traveling the world with such a cool sister, it will be so much fun. I should be happy for him, I can’t hold him here... I have to let him go…

VS

The DETAILS omitted:

Gon was not recovering at all in the hospital. Killua RESORTED to USE Alluka in order to heal Gon. 

Alluka’s blood stained dark past and the risks and uncertainty that still involves.

Baka Gon is always No. 1 !

Killua and Alluka are desperately trying to find a way to out of Illumi’s grasp. Illumi is hunting them down and trying to make Killua his puppet again. And this time it's not going to be just a needle in the head... Killua can feel it. And if things doesn’t work out, he will just kill Alluka.

These Reasons are the core of the separation. We have a song named “Reason”… aren’t the lyrics shedding a new layer of light now?

6. IMPORTANT WORDS ALLUKA USED TO FACILITATE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER REUNION -

Killua promised to “always be together” with Alluka.

But to this promise, Alluka’s response was always silent (episode 145, 3:32 to 4:19). She looked at Killua with deep thought. Because even in such a short amount of time, she realized Killua is doing all this to ALSO or MORE SO protect Gon. It was never just for her, it will never be just for her, and there will never be anyone more important than Gon for Killua. She’s moved by Killua’s devotion and resolve, and she can also feel his sadness…   

If, the situation was different, if Gon was never there to begin with, and Killua just happened to solely come to Alluka’s rescue, and then make a promise to stay together with her forever, Alluka’s natural reaction will be melting with happiness, she’d be crying tears of joy, and hugging Killua. But in this instance, she was composed, she sensed her brother’s deep seriousness and sadness. That’s why later on, she reassured the two at parting, that they will see each other again, without disclosing Killua’s true REASONS. 

The Exacted words Alluka used (Manga chpt 338, 2011 anime epi 147)

a. Manga translation: “I’m going to HUG my brother for a while and then I will LET HIM GO.”  

b. Better translation: “I’m going to have my brother all to myself for a while and then I will let him free.”                            

c. The exacted phrase: “I’m going to Monopolise my brother Exclusively for a period of time, then I will Release him.”

独り占 (Monopolise Exclusively) 

Very strong characters with Explicit meaning. Have it all to oneself. Same characters and meaning used in Chinese as well. （独占）

解放 (Release) 

This is much more formal and serious than “let go”. It implies the subject was initially bound/locked/restricted. Also the same characters and meaning used in Chinese.

Alluka employed these words to imply a forceful lead in this “deal” of owning Killua exclusively. These words have an underlying tone of enslavement. 

Why? Because Alluka knows, the harder she IMPOSES herself on Killua during their time together, the more effective it would be on the easing of Killua’s own guilt. 

Killua felt immensely guilty.

No one will enjoy a relationship bound by guilt. 

Alluka knows clearly that part of her brother’s promise, was formed with guilt, from using her and Nanika, that he was having fun with Gon while Alluka was literally forgotten. Although it's true that this was largely due to Illumi's manipulation, but the fact that he did just left her in the basement all this time was both unacceptable and unforgivable to Killua himself (episode 138, 13:28).

Therefore apart from protecting Gon, this was the other important reason for this separation. Almost as if Killua has accepted this as a befitting price to pay in order to redeem himself as a brother.

Alluka and Nanika have no condition nor demand in return for Killua’s requests. But Killua imposed a price on himself for having Gon healed. Out of guilt. Alluka knows, Nanika knows. That’s why Alluka used the word 解放 (release), because it will make Killua feel better, that he has complied with her ‘enslavement’, so when the time comes, Killua will be able to release HIMSELF from guilt, and go back to Gon, properly. Alluka loves her brother, and she’s prepared to help him towards a better relationship with Gon in the future, by helping him to eliminating this chain of guilt.

lol Alluka totally ships Gon and Killua ! XD

Thank you for reading.

[yafhi]

I started treating Tumblr as my morning newspaper and I find it more enjoyable than Instagram (and obviously more than Twitter/X).

Tumblr is like a sand box in which I don’t know what I’m going to find if I don’t use the tags. I have fanarts of Project Mary and Apothecary Diaries as I have posts about asexuality and suic*de prevention (and answers in support of that), and none of it are in my tags. But that’s fine, because I enjoy art and it makes my day knowing that people are finding validation and support in social media.

After all, at the end of the day, what is a social media if not a way to connect with each other?

[suosufferinghours]

if you thought I was done with these types of posts, you are sadly mistaken.

[yafhi]

Headcanon: Suo smokes using the Chinese pipe to relax and forget for a short amount of time his problems in RC.

I know this is mostly false since sensei decided to not let Sakura smoke (first design) and we all know Suo has enough health problems (not eating and sleeping enough) to add something more. But this (and the tattoo in his back) are my dear headcanons.

[yafhi]

Nii-sensei had to leave Kiryuu behind (not going to Sakura’s house) because he is now the voice of the reason.

We know the group: Momijikawa (“I’m going to jump from a bridge”), Sugishita (“tough love”) and Nirei (210 flashbacks) are going to do something stupid if Sakura is not there. I’m buying the theory of Sakura leaving the town to go to RC

[hymnism]

Fighting Styles in WIND BREAKER

[yafhi]

Are we on break or nobody is talking about the 218??

If we are not in a break, the chapter is this week, why nobody it’s excited to see our gang again? Is everybody dead after 217?? Maybe too busy still crying for watching Suo all alone?? (Me too, by the way)

If we are in a break, why I didn’t see anybody dying inside because of the waiting?

Guys, I need people hyped for this week!

[liquidcats53]

Ok I need someone’s opinion on this because it was driving me insane last night.

I was made aware of this post by Nii-sensei from 2019:

And it reminded me of the Yakuza theory and that character looks a lot like Suo’s prototype design sketches:

And we all know how Suo doesn’t let too much skin show. But I remember making a note that he only wears high collared shirts but then noticing him wearing a normal U neck shirt in his character profile. What I didn’t notice at the time was that since he is wearing a coat it still hides the back of his neck. And he doesn’t wear the summer uniform which is loose around the upper arms and instead wears a long sleeve with the sleeves rolled up.

Basically what I’m saying is that all of his outfits are covering specifically where the tattoo is on the character in the sketch.

What’s more is that that is a post from only a little over a year before Wind breaker began serialization.

So he’d definitely been at least concepting Wind breaker at the time (idk when the prototype designs were made)

Here’s the original twitter post: https://x.com/nii_satoru/status/1201500505056276480?s=61

Guys please I need someone to tell me I’m wrong. I haven’t seen anyone mention this at all so maybe everyone already knows but I feel like I just had a revelation. Guys please I need to know if I’m going crazy or not?!

[acracana]

Imagine you’re a member of a well-respected, influential, and decades old gang. The organization is known to be dangerous—the people there don’t mess around. It’s hard to get in and even harder to get out. The gang has been around for generations—the people at the top are meant to be feared. They are the epitome of what the organization stans for.

And one of your bosses is a 15 year old boy.

Did any other member with a fully developed frontal lobe just not want the job? 😭 Was the 15 year old really the best option??

[yafhi]

A part of me wants Nii-sensei to acknowledge this problem and explain why Suo is an official of a dangerous gang (which I think sensei will, knowing how this arc seems to progress) but then I remember sensei doesn’t care about school daily life and make us (let us) believe Furin is not a real school for a long time…

So yeah… Im scared.

[suosufferinghours]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion, but I'm going to risk saying it anyway. I don't think Suo meant to laugh. I think Nirei caught him off guard and he was surprised. He smiles in shocking moments a lot, and you can tell by looking that the expression is startled, not something he puts on intentionally.

The idea that he laughed in Nirei's face to further drive a wedge between them didn't track for me, and I've noticed that people don't seem to agree so I've kept it to myself. I think the laugh had more to do with the mask slipping. His carefully constructed control of the situation was spiraling out of his grasp in real time. He's trying to keep an indifferent attitude on the surface while beating one of his closest friends bloody, and the guy still asks him if they're friends after.

I think he just lost it. That this is a sign of hysterics. Not cruelty or malice for the sake of the act.

I think this because of the evidence in that moment. If you're laughing in someone's face, you do it in their face. It's loud, it's intentional, it's insincere. I saw someone point out that he's so good at faking his emotions he even faked the blush.

He's trembling. The laugh starts as a pfft. It ends with him covering his face, still trembling. These are signs of someone trying to subdue a reaction, to contain it, not performatively put on a show.

He's having a giggle fit here. Now we know it truly ends like this, and I don't know about anyone else, but that panel just makes me feel a little better about my own theory on the whole thing.

At least Nirei's aware he's watching him come undone in real time.

[suosufferinghours]

this post is surprisingly popular, so I'm going to elaborate on this point a bit. In particular, that when Suo is mocking someone he looks like this.

Nirei knows this, so if he was intentionally trying to manipulate Nirei's perception of him. Wouldn't it make more sense to fall back on an expression and tone he's familiar with? That he's aware of being Suo's mocking behavior. This would be far more alienating than acting uncharacteristically over the top.

Additionally, there's this. We see Suo laugh at someone here, he taunts him. The "pffft" is also present in this, but it's a speech bubble, it's something he does deliberately and out loud to demonstrate that he's laughing at and mocking the other person. It's a performative show of how little he thinks of his opponent, his amusement is evident in all of his body language. The way he holds himself. He isn't trembling, he isn't covering his face, he's in complete control.

He's not being flashy and loud about it. It's subdued and condescending. This is how Suo attacks people with his words.

[yafhi]

We can conclude that Furin is a real school, since Suo not only went to Makochi for the middle school… he came back for the high school!

So… it’s safe to assume Ume is the leader of the student council and the Four Kings are part of the student council?

Ume knows EVERYBODY. It makes sense it would be him who would tell the class 1-1 that Suo left school.

I find intereting our dear leader, plant-loving and easygoing person is so trustworthy even the teacher acknowledge him. To the point of deliver that important message.

[yafhi]

Suo and how your name shapes you

By now, all of us know what going on with Suo’s name: in Furin it was read as “Hayato”, while in RC is read as “Sun Fei”. Japanese reading vs Chinese reading of the same kanjis.

“Everybody calls me that”.

Suo Hayato could have started as a “persona”, a mask, a character. Or it could have been a minor problem for him since in Bankoukugai it was easy to misread someone’s name, since there are a lot of languages living together.

But your name is important. It’s how everybody will recognize you. And when people say it wrong again and again, it could end up affecting you.

I had my surname misspelled my whole life, and it doesn’t affect me because all my family got used to it and for me it was always “normal” to see people writing it wrong or saying it wrong. But not my name. It is fairly easy to say it, to be fair. And still, living in a country completely different to mine, I had people who were close to me (foreigners as I am), saying it wrong day by day, even after I corrected them.

People saying wrong your name is a disrespect, in my opinion. Your name is part of yourself, as your hobbies, likes or dislikes. So, when people calls you by other word, they are calling a different person.

In Suo’s case, it could be intentionally or a minor problem, since he knew he couldn’t get attached to Furin. It could have been a way to protect himself as writing a fake address was. A fake name, a fake person. After all, “they aren’t anything”… right?

But we also know, thanks Nirei and analyst-fans, that Suo cared. He fought and protected, he taught, he spent time with the class, he joked… Even if he didn’t told his secrets to the whole class, he cared. And they cared about him, even if he doesn’t know or doesn’t want to admit it.

Hayato or Sun Fei, the Suo everybody fought with and spent time with, was and is real.  

[yafhi]

Suo and the curse of being polyglot

As someone who can speak three languages and can understand four, I can tell you talking in anything that is not you mother tongue or a language in which you spend a lot (and I mean a lot) of time talking, will limit the ideas you can express.

How can not talking in a language you are really comfortable can limit you? Not knowing enough grammar or enough vocabulary. After all, can you express a possibility if you don’t know words as “if”; can you express your opinion if you don’t know grammar as “in my opinion” or “I think…”. How can you talk about food if you don’t know that vocabulary nor there is anything to point so the other person can know what food you want to talk about; how can you talk about your hobbies, your worries or your desires if you don’t know enough words.

We know Suo’s mother tongue is Japanese, but in chapter 217 we see him talking in a bunch of other languages. Even at the end of the chapter, when he is talking with his kyodai (Rakta and Bacchus), he is talking in english. So, what if english is his “business language”? The common language, the language all people talk in RC. It wouldn’t be strange since RC is formed by different kind of people, that (as the people who Suo helped) may not speak Japanese. Of course, this is mostly untrue since it’s a Japanese manga in a country that looks like Japan, so RC will probably talk in Japanese.

But, let’s go back to Suo. We have seen him talk in Japanese only for half of the chapter. Switching between languages is not easy, specially if you try to only talk in that specific language and not mix words. That affects you, you know? I can tell you as someone who has been living for a while in a country which my mother tongue is no used and in which the language I have to use I’m not fluent as I am in english (or my own language). Not being able to express yourself comfortable, not being able to say everything that cross your mind without worries about grammar or vocabulary… it affects you. It stresses you.

That’s why I think Suo was freer in Furin than now. Not only because he didn’t have responsibilities, but because he was always using Japanese. He joked a lot, because he didn’t need to worry about how he was saying it.

[takiishis]

if a fight is a conversation, it makes sense that Suo couldn't fool Nirei. he literally taught him his language.

[miss-choco-chips]

I feel like I need to explain to my followers who don't read/watch windbreaker why we are all collectively losing our shit here

Meet Suo Hayato

Pretty mf, right off the bat. Eye patch, earrings, easy smile. MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK

When asked 'ah, your name is suo Hayato?' he's like 'thats what people call me yeah'. When asked about his eye, 'you were in an accident, right?', he replies 'thats what people say'. People know he has a reputation of being strong, but no one can remember a single specific fight or reason why he's well known. So we literally don't know anything about him other than his name, the fact that he's pretty and he's good at fighting, which in this school is kind of a given.

But whatever, be mysterious, doesn't matter.

Then we see him fight for the first time

He's such a smooth operator,right? And we find out he has a superpower, and it's Degradation, because he never really punched (just lightly slapped but with basically no force behind it) or kicked his opponent. He just parried the other's hits, made him fall over his own feet IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE , and called him 'wittle boy'. Made the dude rethink his whole life. In so many words, called him a little bitch and made him feel like one

Okay sure. He has a VERY unique sense of humor and fighting style. Cool. He's not the main character though, how important could his mystery be?

And then he's never seen eating on camera, even though sharing a meal is such a core component of this anime. Weird, huh? He gives his portions to other people, says 'im in a diet'. Talks about his very shady master who taught him everything

Also let it be known: In a series where the main point is a bunch of teenagers beating each other black and blue, this motherfucker was NEVER touched. Never even fought seriously, according to other characters. He's the one who, after a battle, isn't sporting ANY type of bruise, isn't even SWEATING. Even the 'Gojo' type character of the show is seen bloody and bruised. Suo barely even has a hair out of place.

Okay. Whatever, he's cool, there's nothing more to it, right?

And then he has moments when he looks cold as fuck. Like he'll straight up kill a man

(This blond dude had JUST landed from a jump and Suo was INSTANTLY ready to kick his skull concave)

Okay he's a little fucked up, huh? And so the theories that had already been growing around him went out of hand. Is he being abused at home by his master? Was he a criminal and he's trying to start a new life? Was he sent to the school as a spy by some future enemy we still don't know? Theories more and more wild started to be floated around. But he remained a steady part of the main cast, always helping the main character, both with advise and in battle. He started training the weakest member of the group, helped the main character heal from the emotional scars of his past. In the last main battle, he was one of the core strategist, and their success is in large part attributed to his contributions.

You can see how he's calling the shots even though he's not the captain and everyone trusts him enough to do as told. And their enemies during this fight, having just seen him from afar for just a couple of minutes, say "That one with the eye patch. He is their brain and their heart".

THAT is how deeply intertwined he is with the school and his friends. He's not just in the sidelines of the group, he's INTEGRAL to it.

AND THEN

IN ONE REGULAR ASS TUESDAY

HE SAYS GOODBYE TO HIS FRIEND

AND DOESNT SHOW UP TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY

And when he ghosts them for two days in a row and they pull up to where he lives, according to his school paperwork, THEY FIND AN EMPTY LOT. HE NEVER LIVED THERE???!

And so everyone loses their shit and starts looking for him. No one can find him.

DOES APPEAR IN FRONT OF THE WEAKEST OF THE GROUP (THAT HE HAD BEEN TRAINING), TOLD HIM HES NEVER RETURNIG, THAT THEY AREN'T ANYTHING TO EACH OTHER. LETS HIM GET A GOOD HIT IN, THEN KNOCKS HIM OUT WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES AND DISSAPEARS FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS

And the next time we hear of him, is from the SHADIEST bitch in the entire show who says his people found him, that he's A HIGH RANKING OFFICER IN A DIFFERENT 'GOOD' GANG (That honestly sounds like a cult) TWO HOURS AWAY

And then we SEE HIM for the first time in WEEKS, and the people he's with call him BY A DIFFERENT NAME. SUN FEI???!???

AND WE LEARN THAT THE NAME 'SUO HAYATO' IS THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION OF HIS ACTUAL GOVERNMENT NAME. AND HE DIDNT LIE WHEN HE SAID 'Yeah people call me that' BECAUSE THAT *IS* HOW THE JAPANESE WOULD PRONOUNCE HIS REAL NAME

AND NOW THE MANGA IS ON BREAK FOR TWO WEEKS

So you see, THIS is why we are freaking out

[coffeesoftie]

So is it safe to assume that was Sun Fei about to dogwalk that Keel guy for hurting Nirei instead of "calm collected" Suo?

When up against Shishitoren it was Sun Fei slipping out of the Suo persona to teach a lesson?

Nirei saw the hurtful expression of Sun Fei playing his role of idgafer during their last encounter as Furin classmates where he deads the friendships Suo made?