making sense of the mess that is life @yagirlsheila - Tumblr Blog

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

orteil42

i work at an elementary school and id like you to know that your game is not only a smash hit amongst 3rd-5th grades the kids are also spreading 2000s-era rumors and myths about it and how to get an auto clicker on their school issued computers

they're doing Mew under the truck things to my game? that's so cool

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fordarkmornings

Karl Albert Buehr (German, 1866–1952)

Sisterly Advice, ca. 1913

#hall of art

slimetony

Not to be vague but not again please

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wronghands1

facts-i-just-made-up

What’s your favourite linguistics fact?

I wrote a history of the English language a while back that I'm pretty happy with-

English was invented in the year 927 by Lord English of England. Because 927 was a long time ago, he called it "Old English." Lord English of England was German, so the language was mostly just German with a dash of the language spoken by the original inhabitants of England, the Romans.

It became popular to speak English until 1066, when English Island was taken over by a French guy named Norman. Norman insisted everyone speak French, but they didn't know French so he just dropped some French words into the middle of the language and called it "Middle English."

After Middle English, trade patterns and technology such as the printing press and podcast allowed the infusion of numerous other languages, which all melted into English in their own way. Because they melted with each other, the new language was called "Modern English." Several sounds and phonetics changed over the years as well, so this was called the era of the Colossal Vowel Movement.

About this time, England did its usual bullshit and colonized pretty much every place on Earth that it could. English thus spread like a linguistic coronavirus across America, Africa, Australia, and Atlantis, which managed to purge the English influence by sinking to its total destruction and thereby avoiding the horrors of having to speak English.

Today, English is the most spoken language on Earth, not because the most people speak it, but because those who do just never shut the fuck up. Several books have also been written in English, including "Fifty Shades of Grey," "A Weasel in My Meatsafe," and "Pounded In The Butt By My Handsome Sentient Library Card Who Seems Otherworldly But In Reality Is Just A Natural Part Of The Priceless Resources Our Library System Provides."

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