One of my biggest fears is that I'll never find a job I truly enjoy. I know it's pretty uncommon for people to have careers they love doing because of the need for money and stability and stuff, but I'm so scared of spending my life to work in something that I don't like.
I've changed my mind so many times growing up of what I want to do, from working in a hair salon, to looking at fashion marketing degrees, to studying journalism then on to marketing, and switching to nursing, and I'm so scared that I'm wasting my time at uni because I might change my mind again.
I feel like I'm not enjoying things as much as I should, which to be fair the situation right now working is a little difficult with covid, having to stay in a new place for a month, being a first year student which means I can't legally (and competently) do much and my work not being in the specific area I was wanting, but what if it is genuinely not for me?
I'm scared of looking who I am because of work, I don't want to only be eating and sleeping so I can be ready for work the next day, I don't want to never do the things I enjoy because I'm busy at work, I don't want to be waiting so badly for the weekend just so I can get a break.
I love being busy and I love putting my time into things so working makes me feel like a have a purpose, it's just I want it to be something that reflects me and makes me feel content and fulfilled.
I really struggle knowing what my passions are or what I'm interested in, I've never really been so interested in something that I've wanted to make a career of it and I've never explored much to know the options.
I'm scared that changing my degree was a bad choice, although nursing is a more stable and rewarding career so I guess, even if it wasn't the right decision, I have that to come from it.
I think also whenever I've thought about careers I've always tried to go for the highest positions, like being a manager, a therapist, a creative director- something of a higher position, and yet when I think of careers that would make me happy, they're so much smaller like owning a little cafe (not saying that owning a business is smaller by any means, that's a lot of hard hard work, but I mean not being so focused on earning tons of money or having power).
I want that feeling of having a job that makes you feel like you're never working, that you love so much you'd rather do that than anything, but I just don't know what I enjoy that much.