How about... Akatsuki partner ships ranked? 👀
6. Pein/Konan - Look, they have the devotion thing down. You want angst? They have angst, and also a vaguely punk rock aesthetic that seems like it shouldn't exist in universe, which is at least visually interesting. However, Kishimoto forgot to give either of them personalities. They both appear to be the same flavor of Mildly Morose. You would think being leaders of a terrorist organization aiming to end the world's magical military forces via snatching up all the weapons of mass destruction for themselves would make for an interesting power couple, but it just..... doesn't? This ship is bereft of content because even the most versatile shippers don't know what to do with it.
5. Kisame/Itachi - Listen, I know this one will be controversial. I know this one has some very dedicated fans. And I am here to inform those fans that this ship is boring. Look. You just have to accept it. It's okay. Do you know how much MinaKushi I write? I'm not judging you. Sometimes you just want something boring and unchallenging. Their canon dynamic is largely Kisame just doing whatever Itachi wants, and fans are usually too cowardly to let Itachi act insane enough for the dynamic to be interesting. This ship is for people who think black pepper is spicy.
4. Orochimaru/Sasori - I wanted to rank this one higher. Do you know how potentially insane this ship is? Do you understand? Do you know how many nonconsensual surgeries of third parties this ship involves? The stolen bones? The crimes against humanity? The fall out and betrayal and obsession? This should be the greatest, most insane ship of all time. But I've read how it's written. This ship will only disappoint you. Only pain lies here.
3. Tobi/Deidara - This one also seems like it should make for a deeply insane ship, and yet is rarely delivered on. Their canon dynamic is fun, and also its implications turn completely mind-blowingly bonkers post identity reveal. Like what is Obito even doing here? I can only assume his crush on Deidara was just strong enough he got distracted from taking over the world for like six months in order to harass him. Cannot rank higher because fanon Obito is too annoying to read for more than a couple thousand words, and people who ship Deidara with men keep turning him into a sad little uwu bean. You will find some fun things, but also you will find the most annoying OOC content on the planet.
2. Kakuzu/Hidan - They! Are! Married! Bizarrely, the pair that have the most cooperative and supportive on-screen dynamic, which gets them to second place. Unfortunately fans think Kakuzu's entire personality is scamming people for money, and not even in a fun Ed Edd n Eddy way. Also Hidan is usually just like. Protestant with extra steps. How did this happen? We don't know. Fortunately there's a least a small amount of good content out there for them and their married life. They're happy. Hundreds are dead, but they are having a good time.
1.Sasori/Deidara - Genuinely confused about how this one won first. Like I like this ship, okay. It just seems like it shouldn't be number one, and yet here it is. They have a well-established canon dynamic that's a little bit spicy but also leaves room for cooperation. They're both small pretty boys so fans are less determined to sort them into the gender binary of "dark chuckling sex god" and "sad precious uwu bean." There's a wealth of content that doesn't suck and even maybe sometimes gets a little interesting. You will have to read the most cardboard, unnuanced dialogue about art, but it's not like canon was churning out high quality dialogue there either.
