Fun stuff to see

This blog has lots of fun and interesting stuff for you to see! From philosophical quotes that might get you thinking to hilarious stuff that's a lot of fun!

[yas2222-blog]

H2O Cleo's power, YouTube video!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGUB9DLsDmQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[yas2222-blog]

We all live under the same sky, but we do not all have the same horizon.-  Konrad Hermann Joseph Adenauer

[yas2222-blog]

All my life I thought air was free........until I bought a bag of crisps

[yas2222-blog]

North Carolina cop

North Carolina Cop Two men were driving through North Carolina when they got pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK," the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick. "What the hell was that for?" the driver asked. "You're in North Carolina, son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in North Carolina, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car." "I'm sorry, officer" the driver said, "I'm from New York and didn't know your laws here." The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back. The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick. “What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands. "Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper. "Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked. "Because I know you New Yorkers ," the trooper says, "two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"

[yas2222-blog]

New priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done  The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:  1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.  2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.  3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.  4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.  5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.  6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.  7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky.  8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.  9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it, for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" 12) The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry. 13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[yas2222-blog]

Dear dad

Dear Dad Letter A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, your son, John. P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

[yas2222-blog]

Arsenic

A lady goes into the local pharmacy. Lady: I want to buy some Arsenic. Druggist: I’m sorry, I can’t sell you Arsenic. Why do you want it? Lady: I want to kill my husband. Druggist: Heavens, why would you want to kill your husband? Lady reaches into her purse and produces a picture of the druggists wife and her husband in bed together. Druggist: Oh, I didn’t know you had a prescription.

[yas2222-blog]

A guy and his horse

A Guy and his Horse A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained. "Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation." Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, only this time with an iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?" She replied, "Your horse called."

[yas2222-blog]

And god created broccoli

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"  And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."  And they gained 10 pounds.  And Satan smiled. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.  And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.  And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.  And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."  And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.  And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."  Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.  And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.  And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.  And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.  And Man gained pounds. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.  And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.  Then said, "You want fries with that?"  And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"  And Satan said, "It is good."  And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

[yas2222-blog]

Barbie just like real life!

Barbie just like real life A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realizes it's his nine year old daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a gift.  So, he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside he sees a huge Barbie display and asks the salesgirl how much the Barbie Doll's cost. The girl responds: "Which one? We have: Gymnasium Barbie: $19.95 Volleyball Barbie: $19.95 Shopping Barbie: $19.95 Surfer Barbie: $19.95 Disco Barbie: $19.95 and Divorced Barbie: $299.95" Shocked, the man asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie $299.95 when all the other Barbies are $19.95?" Exasperated, the girl responds: "Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car Ken's House Ken's Boat Ken's furniture Ken's jewelry Ken's money Ken's computer, and Ken's best friend . . ."

[yas2222-blog]

You were born the way you are so just embrace it and let go! 2013!

[yas2222-blog]

Three bulls

Three Bulls Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the farmer was going to bring yet another bull onto the farm, and this prospect raised a discussion among them. 1st Bull: "Boys, we all know I have been here for five years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. I don't know where this newcomer is going to get his cows, but I ain't givin' him any of mine." 2nd Bull: "That pretty much says it for me too. I've been here for three years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we have agreed are mine. I'll fight him off or kill him, but I'm keeping all my cows." 3rd Bull: "I've only been here a year and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to take care of. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply must keep all my cows." They had just finished their big talk when a big 18-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the paddock with only one animal in it. It was the biggest son-of-another bull these guys had ever seen. At 2000 kg, each step he took the ground strained the steel ramp to breaking point. 1st Bull: "Ahem...you know, it's actually been some time since I was doing all my cows justice. Anyway, I think I can spare a few for our new friend." 2nd Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite side of the paddock from him. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at there young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. 1st Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." 3rd Bull: "Hell he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

[yas2222-blog]

Missing husband - how to order a new or missing husband

Male Refund How to order a new - and missing - husband...   A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children.” The wife replied, “Yeah, but who wants HIM back?”

[yas2222-blog]

Just a weeeeeeee bit................

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them. The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want." The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed." The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls;so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went. "Well, "the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed." The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry." So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents. "Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her."

[yas2222-blog]

A mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee

Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Cups of Coffee A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous . . . "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided. "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; God, family, children, health, friends and favorite passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter; like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities, the rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked; it just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

[yas2222-blog]

Nursing home story from my experience

I volunteer at a nursing home every Friday and this time I actually learnt something very interesting we were going through files getting to know each individual that stayed at the home and the nursing home manager said that 5:00 to 6:00 was an interesting time as you would see some of the old ladies get up and start fussing because they were preparing for their husbands to come home. I never knew this before and I think it's quite sweet that they still do.

[yas2222-blog]

You

I'm not perfect, I make mistakes I'm a diamond in the rough and sometimes in a bad place But time is lost to me when I'm with you Everything seems normal, right, true Into the light you bring me again You are more than just a friend You make my heart swell whenever your here You are everything to me, what I hold dear You are you and I am me But together there is something magically new we can be