Headcanons - Eren Yeager x Reader (Modern AU)
Word Count: 4.5K
Notes: college!eren as your boyfriend makes me so 🥺 he would be the cutest and most chaotic boyfriend, you can't change my mind
Warnings: None - these are all random sfw headcanons (there is just a smidge of nsfw in there, blink and you'll miss it)
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Definitely owns a polaroid camera and solely takes pictures of you with it
Stores them in different places (one in his wallet, one on the fridge, a couple in his car, some in his nightstand, etc.)
The type to leave cute notes for you if he has to leave early in the morning
Except Eren's version of a note is a little different...
He writes "had to go and didn't wanna wake you - you look so cute :) love you, see you tonight" on a small piece of paper and literally tapes it to your forehead (gently though, so he doesn't wake you up)
Used to speak German fluently but has lost some of it over the years - still knows quite a bit though and definitely enjoys talking shit about people in German while in public (since they can't understand him)
Definition of a himbo/golden retriever boyfriend
Bought you a stuffed animal from ikea once and you literally always cuddle with it now, which makes him start to hate the stupid thing and regret ever buying it (*ahem* "it should be me that you're cuddling with, Y/N")
You make coffee in the morning for the both of you while he handles breakfast (since breakfast is usually a bagel, toast, or cereal this is definitely doable for him)
He is also capable of making coffee but swears it tastes better when you make it for him
Secretly makes him really happy and feel fuzzy inside that you know exactly how he takes his coffee
Does not cook and you aren't an amazing chef either so it's a lot of takeout and doordash for the both of you
"Baby, lemme spoil you.....what do u want from taco bell 😏😏😏"
Definitely the type to text you 'what size pussy you wear' every time he's in the tampon aisle at the store (he thinks it's the funniest thing ever even though he's done it like 20 times now)
Reads indie graphic novels ("not that superhero shit cause I'm a man with taste")
Makes fun of you for liking marvel movies ("every movie is literally the same boring plot, Y/N"), but then secretly keeps glancing at the screen whenever you're watching one
Loves horror movies because they get his adrenaline pumping, but especially loves watching them with you
He'll act all tough and protective like, "babe, don't worry - your strong boyfriend is here if you get scared," while confidently placing his arm around your shoulders
Fast forward to thirty minutes later and he's holding onto you for dear life, placing you as a sort of barrier between him and the screen while hiding his face in your hair
Definitely gets mad and swears at jump scares
"FUCK," he'd yell out in a deep voice, body jumping as he places his face back in your hair, instinctively wrapping his arm around you
"...Babe, stop laughing... I wasn't even scared," he'd have the nerve to say moments later upon hearing your small giggles
Whenever you two actually go out to the movies, he sneaks tons of candy and snacks into your purse because he hates spending lots of money at the theatre, mentioning something about "sticking it to the man" why is he so annoying omg
"Babe, bring your tote bag! No, not that one, the big one" 🙄
Whatever is yours is now suddenly his
He is literally this meme
You'll be like, "Eren, for the love of god, stop taking my hair ties" and he'll just be like........ "Our hair ties"
Screams "Yells in a manly way" when there's a bug in the apartment and he has to kill it
He runs hot, so expect Shirtless Eren™ a lot
He insists you join him because it's "more comfortable" …yeah, ok, Yeager..... 🙄
Sleeps only wearing briefs
On especially cold nights, he'll wear sweatpants though
Draws stick figure pictures of the two of you on post-its and occasionally puts them in random places in the apartment
You got mad at him once because you came home with people from class and he had drawn you two in a very suggestive position and put it on the fridge
Love language: sending memes and tiktoks
One of his FAVORITE things to do is to be in the same room with you where you both are browsing tiktok separately and occasionally show each other the funny ones you come across
Definitely the type to love being in the same room while you two just do your own thing - just likes the company and being able to look up from his phone/computer/video game and see your face
He just thinks you're so pretty <3 he is literally like 😍😍😍 all the time
Always says "wow" like Owen Wilson after you've finished telling him a story (also loves doing this in your ear when you're having sex - he thinks it's the funniest thing ever... you do not)
He's nosey and totally spies on the neighbors, but denies it every time you call him out on it
Will just walk up to you and start flexing
If you ignore him, he'll just do it more aggressively, eventually literally shoving his muscles in your face (the boy just wants some attention, pls give it to him and tell him he's hot)
LOVES being told he's pretty but he'll never admit it and whenever you do tell him that he's a pretty boy, he just rolls his eyes and tries to play it cool but inside he's like "!!!!!!!"
Loves being the big spoon at night because he likes holding onto something while he sleeps, he thinks of you like his own personal teddy bear
(Also likes the way your ass feels against his... lower region 👀)
You two have extremely weird pet names for each other and often make a competition out of it
He's all like "I love you, my little tater tot 😍)
Started calling you babycheeks as a joke but now totally uses it unironically
(Honorable mention to him calling you this while squeezing your cheeks together with his hand, smiling at the little pout that forms on your face every time he does this)
Resting bitch face to the extreme
Whenever around others, he always just sort of looks pissed, or a combination of bored/indifferent
Example:
That's just how his face is and most are intimidated by him for it, but not you <3 you know he's a big stupid baby
Will nudge you with his head like a dog that wants to be pet
Bites you and your clothes often
Okay, wait... let's elaborate on that
Two different types of bite: non-sexual and sexual
When he's just being playful/trying to get your attention/trying to annoy you, he'll bite either (a) the sleeve of your shirt (b) your forearm (c) your ass if you're laying on your stomach (d) your pants if he's resting his head on your lap
When he's in a mood 😏 he'll bite either (a) the area between your neck and shoulder - his favorite (b) the insides of your thighs (c) your lips (d) collarbone (gently - it's more of a little nibble <3)
Does NOT have a green thumb - will kill your plants if left in his care
Loves pizza and pizza-flavored snacks (please see: the pizza-flavored goldfish and pringles stowed away in your pantry)
You bought him one of those little gummy candy pizzas once and he just kind of went like 🥺🥺🥺 when you gave it to him
Loves that you remember little things about him like that - makes him feel special and cared for
Suggested once that you should wear his 'key' necklace because it would "look good with your outfit" and now he's obsessed with you wearing it (especially when it's the only thing you have on and he's got you pinned underneath him)
Not opposed to wearing matching onesies ("just as long as no one sees us and we don't leave our apartment, babe")
If Eren does something to annoy you, you'll definitely send a pic of you two wearing your onesies to the groupchat, which makes Jean tease him for life and Eren glare at you for about a week
Speaking of Eren being annoying, he is always taking pictures of you - literally has like 2,000 pictures of you on his phone
His wallpaper is a picture of you two where he's holding you as you hide your face in his neck, a big smile adorning his own from laughing at your cute attempt to hide from the camera
Likes watching howl's moving castle with you
"Babe, be the sophie to my howl....."
"Eren, you don't even look like howl" *cue his never-ending pouting*
Occasionally brings you little flowers he found while walking, some of them are even weeds but you don't tell him that because he looks so cute bringing you his little gifts
He even brought you a rock once because it was "cool" and "kinda in the shape of a heart"
You swore to him that you'd keep it forever and his cheeks instantly turned pink, not being able to hold back the blush that had crept its way onto his face at your mention of "forever" - in that moment you were sure that his eyes actually turned into big hearts
Always running into/hitting furniture in the apartment because he's a big guy and doesn't pay attention to where he's going
You found him once on the floor, in pain and questioning every life choice he's ever made, because he ran his shoulder into the doorframe
Forced you to give his shoulder a kiss to make him feel better.....he was still pouty about it though
Acts tough but is a big baby
On the outside he is 😒😈😠💀🔪 but with you he is 🥰💘🥺
Really loves and is genuinely grateful that his partner is his best friend and that you two have such a fun, playful relationship
Sometimes after a rough day, he claims that he is in need of an emotional support titty and will beg you to let him hold on to your titty (he's like pls...I need it.....I'll die without it🥺)
The type to point and say "dog" every time he sees a dog
You guys have playful banter but it can definitely get carried away
He had his hair down one day and said something snarky to you and you replied, "yeah, okay - whatever, lord farquaad" and he never forgave you
Still brings it up to this day
Understands that bees are good for the environment but hates them
If one comes near him he'll be so dramatic - ducking out of the way and swearing loud enough for people a block away to hear him
He tells you to get rid of your weighted blanket because "he is your weighted blanket"
Asks you to come with him when he goes to the gym or works out just because he likes showing off his muscles and looking strong in front of you
Always has his hair pulled back into a bun because he gets annoyed with it in his face (surprisingly, he really enjoys it when your hair is in his face, though)
You tell him that he could just cut his hair if it annoys him that much and he's literally like, "you want me to cut it?? you don't like my hair??!"
Definitely the type to be like "aha babe... you have a crush on me, that's so embarrassing"
To which you reply, "yeah, it is embarrassing considering how annoying you are," which makes his eyes narrow and a pout form on his face
Likes it when you two are watching tv and you drape your legs over him - likes being able to absentmindedly rub small circles on your thighs as he watches whatever has his attention on the screen
Major procrastinator when it comes to schoolwork - you constantly have to motivate him to try and do his work earlier in the week or else he WILL leave it till last minute
This involves small bribes and incentives, such as letting him choose what you wear on your next date night (dangerous - he will choose something that shows a lot of skin), getting him dumplings from his favorite place, extra kisses, etc.
His favorite type of morning involves: lazy morning sex, breakfast/cuddling in bed, and anime
Skateboards but isn't an amazing skater - definitely sings skater boy by avril lavigne to you though just to annoy you
He goes through a lot of skateboards because he's somehow always breaking them (definitely happens way more often than it should, but he is a big guy with a lot of energy and sometimes wooden boards just simply can't keep up with him
Always makes fun of typos in your texts to him
Just like this...
Your contact name in his phone is either 'MINE 😈💕’ or 'sexy idiot' (he likes both of them, so he'll switch them up every now and then)
Facetimes you with his face super close to his phone because he just wants to "get a better look at your pretty self" 🙄
He literally always looks like this when he's facetiming you:
Loves to slap your ass - claims that they're "love taps"
Will yell for you to "COME HERE QUICK!!," making whatever it is sound urgent, only to have him tell you about something cool he just did in his video game
Likes putting his hand in your back pocket whenever you're out in public - let's other people know that you're his and gives him something "nice to hold onto"
When his hand isn't in your back pocket though, it most definitely is slung around your shoulders
The first time he placed his arm around your shoulders (before you were dating), you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, as if questioning his almost-too-comfortable gesture. He responded defensively, "What? Just using you to rest on, get over yourself..." (The light dusting of pink on his cheeks gave away his true intent, though)
Since that first time, every time he wraps his arm around your shoulders now, he'll use his same line that he's "just using you as a resting place," but throws a wink in there, knowing that you know he actually just wants you close to him
He really likes it when you sit on his lap in public (any and all affection you show him that makes it known to others that he's your boyfriend makes him very cocky on the outside and soft & giddy on the inside)
When you do sit on his lap, at first he'll place his hands on your waist, rubbing them up and down your sides with a big ol' smirk on his face. He'll look around at everyone else's reactions (who probably don't have any because they probably don't even care tbh lol) and revel in the fact that "the hottest girl in the world" is sitting on his lap and nobody else's
But then, after a good several minutes of feeling like a King (I mean I'm talking like truly serious 'I am The Chosen One' levels of cockiness), he eventually will calm down and return to his normal self. His arms will make their way around your waist, hugging you lazily, while he just kind of plops his chin on your shoulder (he also likes being so close to your neck in this position that he's able to smell your perfume and nuzzle the tip of his nose against your delicate skin, smiling at the sound of your giggles)
Often times, if you're talking to a guy he doesn't know (like someone from one of your classes), he'll come up behind you and place his arm possessively around you with his eyes never leaving the other man's
He'll be pretty over the top about it, too - Finally glancing down at you, he'll smile saying, "Oh hey, babe, you look so beautiful today... can't wait to take you out later." He'll lean down to place a kiss on the top of your head before looking over at the man once again, his tone changing instantly, "Hey, man, what's up? I'm her boyfriend," the last word being clearly emphasized with his slightly threatening tone and narrowed eyes
If you guys fight about anything, it's definitely about how unnecessarily jealous he can get (although, the fights are never really that serious - he gets defensive because he feels he's protecting you from creeps and you get annoyed over his aggressive attitude toward strangers, but eventually, you two come together to see the other's perspective and are compassionate toward the other's feelings, so it gets resolved rather quickly)
You secretly think it's actually kind of cute how fired up he gets over other guys giving you any type of attention/affection, or god forbid, making you smile or laugh (He feels it's his job to make you laugh and is instantly threatened when other men do it for him)
"Babe, you don't know what other guys are like... Okay, I do, I know what they're thinking when they try and corner you and crack jokes at you or whatever the fuck they do. That prick was not just innocently asking you to study, he definitely had other plans in mind, trust me"
He gets frustrated... eventually calms down... and then just gets really pouty
There was this one time you looked over at him and he literally had his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as if he were a child that had just gotten his favorite toy taken away. You couldn't help the small laugh that had slipped from your lips, and regardless of how fast you placed your hand over your mouth, he heard you and looked at you wildly, "Did you just fucking laugh at me?!" At this point, you couldn't stop the laughter forcing its way from your mouth now as your boyfriend's face grew even poutier (if that were possible)
"I'm sorry, honey, you just look really cute right now," you pleaded honestly, speaking to him almost like an adult speaking to an adorable anger-filled child
It took you weaseling your way into his crossed arms and nuzzling your face into his chest, muttering small I'm sorry's while placing kisses all over his face, for him to forgive you and get over his childlike attitude
Whenever he does get jealous, you know that all he really needs is a good makeout session - That will quell any worries he has that you're not his
At parties (and after a few drinks), he will drag you to a more secluded area (either in the corner or against the wall in the hallway) and start making out with you
If you playfully push him away and start laughing, saying something about "people seeing you guys," he'll just whisper, "don't care," and hastily place his lips against yours again, albeit more sloppy and eager this time. "Just need to kiss you...," he'll groan against your lips (If this happens, your night is usually cut short, as his needy actions result in you two racing home to properly be with one another 😳)
(((As you're driving home, he will definitely rub you over your thin underwear, watching you intently with lips parted as if dazed by the mere sight of you like this. His lust-filled eyes would quickly darken at the way your hands tighten around the steering wheel, and especially at the sound of your small moans. As he slips a finger inside of you, he'd barely be able to hold himself back from forcing you to pull over and ravage you right then and there, as lewd noises begin to fill the otherwise silent car)))
You guys are basically lucky that you don't crash that night, that's all I'm saying
On a fluffier note, one of his favorite things you do, and something he'll always be eternally grateful for, is when he's anxious or nervous about something, usually shaking his leg and playing with your fingers to distract himself, you'll reach over and stroke your fingers through his hair, instantly calming his nerves
You'll do it until he takes your hand from his hair and places a gentle kiss on the back of it, signaling to you that he feels better - He also, shyly, whispers a small "thank you" afterward
You guys have tried to take baths together and it just never really works out (he doesn't agree with this sentiment at all, he loves taking baths with you)
But, he is a big guy and there is only so much space in a bathtub, which results in water being splashed everywhere
One particular time ended with Eren filling the bath with too much bubbles and completely covering your floor with sudsy water, and another time resulted in you two literally almost flooding your apartment (don't ask)… so, now, it's safe to say that you're a bit hesitant about baths - He is Not
"Babe, you took my bubble privileges away, so it won't be like last time... I promise," he fakes an innocent tone, trying to sway your opinion on taking another bath with him, but inside you know he's like 😈😈😈
Sometimes wears your t-shirts at home which means that there are a couple of your shirts that have unfortunately been too stretched out for you to wear now
If you get on his case about this, he'll just fire back with, "What's the big deal, you wear my clothes all the time...?"
"Okay, true... but, I'm not permanently altering your shirts, Eren, there's a difference"
You can't be too upset with him though, because he just looks too cute with your much-too-tight shirts on, hugging his muscles and barely fitting his chest 🥺
Speaking of you wearing his clothes though, he gets unbelievably turned on when you come home dressed in a cute, little dress and instantly change out of it and into one of his shirts
Just the sight of his girl like that, and the fact that it's his shirt you wear in the comforts of your own home, has him adjusting his pants as he makes his way over to you (as much as he likes seeing you in his shirts, he likes it much better when he rips them off of you)
Favorite things to do for date night: (1) Late-night drive to the overlook by the beach (maybe results in some stargazing... maybe results in you straddling his waist, the two of you making out in the driver's seat... who knows), (2) Parties/get togethers at friend's houses (he gets to show you off to other people; claims it can technically be called a "date night" if you two steal food from the kitchen and find a lonely corner to hangout in where you two can share some kisses back and forth, as well), (3) Ordering takeout and watching movies on the couch (he gets to be comfortable with you and likes how you cuddle up to him when it's just the two of you in your apartment), (4) Arcade (one of his favorites, because it lets you two be playful and a bit competitive with each other; if he's too competitive, he'll always make it up to you by winning you a stuffed animal - he internally scowls about this because he fears it'll become his new competition just like the ikea stuffed animal he got you)
Whenever you're bossy toward him, he'll reply with "Okay... mommy," since the nickname always causes you to get flustered and narrow your eyes at him, which he thinks is both hilarious and cute (a stupid, cheeky grin will definitely always accompany his use of the word)
One night he asks you to sleep without a shirt on just like he does and you're like, "Huh, I bet you'd like that... Wouldn't you, you creep? 🙄"
And he just smiles at you with feigned innocence and says, "It's like that thing... what is that thing with babies... oh yeah!" His face lights up with a genuine smile this time, "Skin to skin... we need skin to skin contact"
Which has you then replying with a scoff, "Eren, that's for babies and we are two adults"
"No," he places his hands on either side of your cheeks and squishes, "You are baby."
(You end up giving him what he wants and you both hold each other shirtless as you sleep through the night, and you have to admit... It did feel nice)
Literally so stubborn... like the most stubborn man to ever exist. That is all.
No, but really, like... He'll refuse to accept he's wrong about something even when you have proof
Like that one time he thought that the tv show 'That '70s Show' was actually filmed in the 70s and you were like...... "you are literally so wrong about that, Eren." And, he refused to accept that he wasn't right and still stood his ground even when you pulled up the info from the Wikipedia page, causing him to stubbornly mutter some nonsense about how "anyone can edit those pages, Y/N"
He's so annoying, I swear 🙄
But also get this... He is also very cute... And ridiculous... Ridiculously cute, some would even say... For instance:
He'd constantly think about proposing to you 🥺
Like, you'll do something small like wipe the brownie batter he got on the side of his mouth off with your finger, placing it in your own to taste it, and on the inside he'd be like, "God, just marry me already..."
Or, even you washing his hair for him while you two shower will have him in his head like, "Please take my last name and be my wife!!!"
Genuinely wants to spend the rest of his life with you, his best friend and lover - He couldn't imagine having anyone else but you beside him for the rest of his days
Part of him feels unworthy, though, and gets insecure at the thought of you not wanting him for the rest of your life, so he never shares the little proposal-themed thoughts he has with you and tucks the image of you with a ring on your finger far, far away in his mind
One day, he'll eventually work up the courage to ask you to be his for life, he swears it (and has sworn it to Armin, as well, who is tired of Eren being a coward and wishes he would just ask you already)
He also swears to give you an amazing proposal, because he knows you deserve it 😇 lmao he'll probably give you a ring pop and be like.... "aha, babe, wanna marry me?" while making this face:
(Jk 💀 he'll be more romantic than that, he swears it)
But until then, he'll continue doing his best to make you smile and think that he's funny, so that maybe you'll keep him around long enough for him to actually work up the courage to propose
For now, though, he'll keep being the cutest, weirdest, and most annoying boyfriend in the world... 🥺💕🙄💘😌 (that is until he becomes your husband, uh oh 👀)
