haile

Rp only, no minors please

[gguksprincess]

12. | 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝜗𝜚 𝐣.𝐣𝐤

PAIRING-> jeon jungkook x reader

SUMMARY -> jungkook, a divorced single dad, falls for his daughter’s nanny.

TROPES -> she falls first he falls harder, yearning, age gap, angst, hurt comfort, absent mother, jungkook is a little pathetic

now playing: only - leehi˚.⋆♪

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12: amber

daniel anderson was a nice guy. that almost made him dangerous.

you'd met him during your first semester. he sat two rows behind you in marketing analytics, always forgetting his pencil. somehow, the two of you had slowly become friends. he walked you to the bus stop after class, text you notes whenever you missed a lecture, remembered your favorite candy after you'd mentioned it exactly once, paid for your snacks at the vending machine.

“don’t worry about it,” he’d say, “that’s what friends are for.”

he was a pleasant but admittedly unremarkable presence in your life. that didn’t mean you didn’t like him. you did, but just… as a friend. you assumed he was on the same page. 

apparently not.

"i'm really glad you came."

you looked up from your menu. daniel was smiling at you warmly. your cheeks pinked, “my friend deserves most of the credit."

he laughed, “manon?"

you groaned, “she told you?"

daniel grinned and leaned forward, “she told me i had exactly one chance." 

you covered your face. “that sounds like her,” you said through your hands.

"she also said you're the type of person who says no because you're scared of hurting people's feelings,” he explained, “was she right?"

you sighed dramatically, “maybe."

he grinned. "i figured.”

despite yourself, you laughed. it felt easy. the conversation flowed naturally after that. you talked about professors, commuting, campus parking, gossip, fashion. things you couldn’t talk about with jungkook. it was refreshing. for the first time in weeks, you weren't sitting in jungkook's kitchen wondering whether he'd remembered lunch. you weren’t trying not to fall in love with your boss. you weren’t trying not to get too attached to his kid. you weren’t trying to be anything. you were just a college girl having dinner with a boy who liked her. maybe this was what you needed. this was healthy.

when your food arrived, daniel waited until you'd taken your first bite before speaking again, “can i ask you something?"

"mhm."

"what do you actually do when you're not studying?"

your face softened immediately, ”i'm a nanny."

"i know that."

"oh."

"i meant... what do you like?"

you blinked. what do you like?

the answer should've been easy. instead your lovesick mind immediately drifted somewhere else. making pancakes with arin. movie nights on the couch. watching jungkook fall asleep after finally taking a break from work. screaming the high notes to golden from kpop demon hunters with arin for the thousandth time. showing her the art from your favorite shoujo manga—

you caught yourself.

"...i like reading."

that was safe.

"romance?" he guessed.

your eyes widened, “how'd you know?"

he laughed, “lucky guess."

you smiled, “yeah."

"a hopeless romantic?"

you looked down at your drink, “i think so."

"that's cute."

your heart squeezed unexpectedly. he thought you were cute? he wasn't flirting aggressively. wasn't making you uncomfortable. 

in that moment, you thought that maybe love didn't have to begin with fireworks or instant chemistry. it could begin with kindness. maybe he was cute too. after spending months pining for something you could never have, you thought that this might be what you needed all along. you found yourself studying him while he spoke. you noticed things. he was handsome, smart, and funny.

well, maybe funny was a stretch. his jokes were corny. but at least he was trying, right? he was nothing like the stoic man that broke your heart.

he listened when you talked instead of waiting for his turn to speak. he asked follow-up questions. remembered little things. maybe the details were wrong, but you couldn’t expect him to be perfect. he was a college student like you. he had to pack far too much information in his brain in the smallest amount of time. he'd even brought you flowers. your favorite flower? no. but...he'd tried. he wasn’t meticulous like the man who broke your heart, but what if the grass is greener on the other side?

he'd stood outside a scary, huge house holding a bouquet because he'd wanted to make you smile. your heart ached. not because of daniel. because of yourself. you'd spent the entire evening comparing him to someone who didn't even know you loved him. that wasn't fair to daniel, and definitely not to yourself.

the conversation drifted naturally again. he told you stories about his roommates. you laughed until your stomach hurt when he described one of them accidentally setting off the fire alarm trying to make grilled cheese. by dessert, the awkwardness had disappeared completely. when the check came, daniel reached for it immediately.

"absolutely not," you said.

he looked offended, “i asked you out."

"and i'm paying for my half. i have a job, too.”

he sighed dramatically, “you're stubborn."

you smirked, “very."

after a few seconds, he smiled, “okay, fine.” he leaned back.

he walked you home afterward. the evening air was cool. the conversation never stopped. when your house finally came into view, both of you slowed naturally.

"i had fun," he admitted.

you smiled, “it was nice,” you turned to him, “you were nice, too.”

he rubbed the back of his neck, “would you... maybe want to do this again sometime?"

your first instinct was to say no. saying yes felt dishonest. your heart already belonged somewhere else. but then, you remembered standing outside jungkook's bedroom after he'd whispered i think im in love with you. convincing yourself he hadn't meant it. all the nights you'd cried over someone who wasn't yours. you couldn't keep living like that. you couldn't keep making one house your entire world. you needed something outside of it. someone outside of it. you looked at daniel.

maybe, if you gave this a real chance, your heart would eventually follow. love wasn’t always immediate. in some situations, it was a choice you grew into. and sometimes, circumstances made that choice for you. if you could learn to love daniel, the constant ache for jungkook would finally disappear.

you smiled softly, “i’d like that."

“really?"

you nodded, “really."

“see you soon.”

“good night, daniel.”

you looked down at the bouquet in your hands. they were beautiful. not your favorite flowers, but beautiful anyway. you held them a little tighter.

you have to let him go.

you weren't sure whether that thought was about daniel or jungkook. but for the first time since that drunken confession, you decided you were going to try.

your mom looked up from the couch the second you walked through the front door. her eyes immediately landed on the bouquet in your hands. she smiled, “well, well, what do we have here?”

you laughed quietly, shutting the door behind you, “don't."

"i didn't say anything."

"you were about to."

"i absolutely was."

you shook your head, trying not to smile as you slipped your heels off by the door.

“new boo? how was it?"

you looked down at the flowers. they were roses. it was thoughtful, you ran your fingertips over one of the petals, “it was nice."

your mom raised an eyebrow, ”nice?"

"yeah."

"that's the word you're using?"

you shrugged, “he was really sweet."

"but?"

you looked away, “there isn't a but."

"there's always a but. especially when i thought things were going so well with your sexy tech ceo boss! i was getting ready to retire and live out the rest of my days in a boujee in-law suite.”

you sighed dramatically before carrying the bouquet into the kitchen. your mom followed close behind, watching you search for a vase, “then you better stop, mommy. he’s in the past. this new guy… he’s funny."

"mm."

"respectful."

"mm."

"he asked if i'd like to do it again sometime."

your mom sipped from her turquoise cup, "and?"

you carefully trimmed the stems of your roses, “i said yes."

she smiled knowingly, “did you want to?"

your hands slowed, ”i think so."

"that's not an answer.”

you stared down at the flowers floating in the water, “i want to.” 

the kitchen fell quiet. your mom's expression softened immediately. she already knew. she'd known for weeks. maybe longer.

she walked over and rested a hand against your shoulder, “you were thinking about him."

your eyebrows furrowed, “who?”

“you were thinking about sexy boss the whole date."

you crossed your arms defensively, “no!” 

she raised an eyebrow.

“maybe?”

she squinted. you acquiesced.

“yes.” you sighed, "daniel would be talking to me and i'd compare everything to him.”

your mom closed her eyes briefly, “honey..."

"i'd see something funny and think his daughter would laugh,” your voice grew smaller, ”i passed a bookstore with him on the way home and wondered if mr. jeon would've liked one of the business books in the window."

you shook your head at yourself, “i don't even realize i'm doing it anymore.” your voice broke on the last syllable. you slid the roses into the fayou looked up, eyes watery, “i think that house became my whole world."

your mom didn't answer immediately. because there wasn't really anything to say. you'd fallen in love.

"he told me he loved me."

the words slipped out before you could stop them.

your mom blinked, “what?"

you laughed softly, “when he was drunk. last friday, that night i came home late.”

“he was drunk?"

"really drunk." you sadly smiled to yourself, ”he probably doesn't even remember." your vision got blurry with unshed tears. your chest was heavy. you looked down at your hands, “he was saying all kinds of things."

"do you think he meant it?"

you shook your head almost immediately.

“no." 

it came out too fast. too certain. you continued, “people say crazy things they don’t mean when they're drunk and sad.”

your mom watched you carefully, “sometimes.”

"he's my boss."

"mm."

"he's older. he's ridiculously handsome, successful, loving. he could have..."

you searched for the right words.

"anyone." you swallowed, "women his age. beautiful women, ceos, lawyers, doctors. women that actually fit into his life, mommy.” you looked toward the flowers, “no matter what i do, i’ll always just be the help.”

your mom hated hearing you say that. she reached over and gently tucked a curl behind your ear, “don't do that."

your lip trembled, "it's true."

"no."

her eyes met yours with intensity, “don’t ever talk about my daughter like that.” he pulled you into a soft embrace for a moment, before pulling away to look at you. your mom squeezed your hand, “can i tell you something?"

you nodded.

"you spend so much time trying to decide what you should do, that you forget life has a funny way of deciding for us."

you frowned slightly, ”what do you mean?"

"the universe has a way of putting the right things in front of you." she shrugged, “you just have to pay attention when it does."

you tilted your head, “that's very cryptic.”

she laughed, “i’m old. i'm allowed one mysterious sentence a day."

you giggled despite yourself. she kissed your forehead, "go get some sleep."

"okay."

you hugged her tightly before heading down the hall. 

your room felt strangely quiet. you changed into pajamas, washed your face, and set the bouquet on your desk where you could see it. they really were pretty. daniel had done everything right. there was nothing wrong with him. 

so why did your chest still ache? you climbed beneath your blankets. your phone buzzed against your nightstand.

madamoiselle manzanita💋

you smiled immediately and answered, “hello?"

"guess who's going clubbing tomorrow."

"you?"

"correct."

you laughed, “have fun."

"no.” manon's voice turned dramatically offended, “we're going clubbing tomorrow."

you blinked, “we?"

"yes, we."

"manon—"

"before you say no, listen."

you sighed, “go on.”

“you remember beomgyu?”

“of course.”

“well, beomgyu works for one of those huge tech companies downtown.”

"okay?”

"he got us a section tomorrow night."

your eyebrows lifted, “a section?”

"a whole section."

"why?"

“they're celebrating some giant expansion or something. we can party with millionaires!”

"that sounds expensive."

"which is exactly why we're not paying. he’s the ceo’s assistant or something and apparently this is a part of his bonus.”

you laughed again.

"come with me."

"i don't know..."

"daniel's coming."

your heart paused, "he is?"

"mhm."

manon's voice softened, “you said you'd give him a chance. and it feels like we haven’t hung out in years.“

you looked toward the flowers again. 

the universe has a way of putting the right things in front of you. you just have to pay attention.

this was a sign. this was the universe gently nudging you forward, away from a man who would never be yours, and toward someone who actually could. 

you took a slow breath, “okay.”

manon squealed so loudly you had to pull the phone away from your ear, “yes!"

you laughed, “girl, don't make me regret this."

“too late.”

she was already talking a mile a minute, “wear something cute. we're gonna have fun."

after you hung up, you stared at your ceiling for a long time, grinning like a fool. this was exactly what you needed. tomorrow would be the first real step toward letting jungkook go.

•••

manon had always been better at this than you. 

not just getting ready. everything.

she knew how to walk into a room and immediately belong there. she knew how to talk to strangers like they were old friends. she knew how to wear something bold without spending the entire night wondering if everyone was staring for the wrong reasons.

you, on the other hand, had spent the last twenty minutes staring at yourself in her bedroom mirror.

“i look ridiculous."

manon looked up from where she was sitting on the floor, surrounded by makeup brushes, “you have said that four times."

"because it's true."

"no, it's because you're scared."

you frowned, “i'm not scared."

manon gave you a look. the kind only a friend could give. you sighed.

"okay. maybe a little."

she softened immediately.

"hey."

you looked at her through the mirror, “you're allowed to have fun."

your fingers nervously played with the edge of the dress, “i know—“

"no, i don't think you do."

manon stood up and walked over. she placed her hands on your bare shoulders, looking at your reflection beside hers.

"for the last few months, your whole life has been that house."

you looked down, “arin is important to me."

"i know."

"and jungkook—"

you stopped yourself. manon noticed. she always noticed.

"you don't have to say his name like it's a secret."

your cheeks warmed, “i’m not.”

you both were silent for a moment. her brown eyes filled with sudden realization, “oh shit.”

“what?”

she stared directly at your reflection in the mirror. 

“what are you—“

”you like him, don’t you?”

your cheeks instantly warmed. was it that obvious?

“don’t lie to me,” she smiled, “you have a crush on your boss.”

you bashfully redirected your attention to the ground, “i'm trying to move on."

her smile faded. she squeezed your shoulders gently, “this is your chance.”

you looked at yourself again. the dress felt like someone else. something a girl who didn't spend her mornings packing preschool lunches and reminding a grown man to eat breakfast would wear.

the dress was a warm golden amber color that seemed to glow under the bedroom lights. the fabric was light and delicate, draping softly over your body instead of clinging to it. the sweetheart neckline made you feel more grown-up than you were used to feeling.

black sequined waves curved across the dress like tiger stripes, catching the light whenever you moved. tiny silver details sparkled between them.

it was glamorous and daring. you weren't used to either.

"i feel like i'm pretending to be someone else," you admitted quietly.

manon smiled again, “i think you're just meeting a version of yourself you forgot existed."

you looked at her. she shrugged.

"you can love arin. you can care about jungkook. you can be the sweet little nanny who makes pancakes." she pointed at the dress, “and you can also be the girl who wears a sparkly dress and goes dancing."

a small smile tugged at your lips. manon’s joy was always infectious, “you make everything sound so simple."

"because sometimes it is." 

she grabbed your hand and spun you around dramatically, “also, you're gorgeous, so stop moping in my masterpiece."

you laughed, “your masterpiece?"

"yes. i did your makeup."

"you did."

"i picked the dress."

“it's your dress."

"so you’re making my case."

you shook your head, laughing. for the first time all day, you weren't thinking about jungkook. you were just excited.

the club was unlike anywhere you had ever been. you immediately understood why manon had been so excited.

everyone looked like they belonged. they were confident and comfortable. there were people in designer clothes, people from different industries, people who seemed like they had already accomplished everything you were still dreaming about.

you followed manon through the entrance, holding onto her hand slightly.

"okay,” she leaned toward you, “don't panic."

you looked at her, “that's not reassuring."

she laughed, “i mean it in a good way."

"how is that good?"

"because you're about to realize you're cooler than you think."

you rolled your eyes, then you saw him.

"beomgyu!"

manon waved. a guy near the private section turned around. his face immediately lit up, “manon!" he grinned and hugged her easily.

you smiled, “nice to see you again!”

his grin faded, “…yeah.”

you blinked. an awkward silence fell over the three of you.

beomgyu wasn’t exactly how you remembered him. he was normally confident, funny, effortlessly charming. you'd met him before through manon, but mostly in passing. he always seemed like someone who knew everyone. someone who belonged anywhere. he worked at a big tech company downtown, which was foreign to you.  

but today, he seemed… shaken? unwelcoming? you suddenly felt like you were stepping into a completely different universe.

he led the three of you up to the section.

"how's school for you?" manon asked.

you smiled, “stressful."

"so, normal."

"basically."

she laughed. you laughed too. you it helped you relax.

"there he is!” beomgyu announced in a sarcastic tone. 

you turned. daniel. your stomach flipped. not painfully, nervously. very nervously. he smiled the second he saw you.

"wow."

you looked down, “what?"

"you look..."

he paused, which somehow made you even more nervous.

“…really beautiful. that dress—woah.”

your cheeks burned, “thank you."

he smiled. beomgyu didn’t.

"i was trying to think of a cooler way to say that."

you laughed, “didn't work."

"i know."

somehow, that made you laugh harder.

“that’s manon’s dress, isn’t it?” beomgyu interrupted.

daniel glared at him for a moment. you saw manon’s eye twitch in your peripheral. 

“you still look gorgeous,” daniel retorted. “actually,” he reached his hand up and brushed a curl out of your face, “i think this is the prettiest i’ve ever seen you.”

you smiled up at him, “that’s sweet.”

he grabbed your hand and guided you to sit next to him on the couch. 

he wasn't jungkook. the thought came automatically. but for once, it didn't hurt. possible flirting didn’t have a huge asterisk above it. daniel was easy. he wasn't someone you had to wonder about. he wasn't someone you had to analyze.

he just liked you.

you spent the next few hours dancing, laughing, and talking. you were tucking someone in for bed. you weren't wondering if someone had eaten dinner. you were just there with your friends and daniel, having fun.

maybe this was what your mom meant. the universe wasn't taking something away from you, it was showing you something outside of the little world you had built.

you smiled as daniel handed you a drink, “having fun?"

you looked around at the lights. listened to the music. manon was laughing and gossiping with beomgyu. everyone was smiling.

you nodded, “yeah."

and you meant it. for the first time in a long time, you really meant it. you were having fun. you were letting yourself be young.

you understood why manon loved being in places like this. it was like stepping into another world.

“you’re actually popular,” you teased beomgyu.

he had laughed, “you didn’t know that?”

you rolled your eyes, “i thought you were just manon’s friend who complains about emails.”

“really.” his tone was weird. not playful, not teasing. it irked you. you grabbed your drink. 

daniel turned to you, “can i have a sip?”

you nodded. 

daniel took your drink out of your hand, and drank exactly where your mouth was. it felt like a kiss. sure, it was indirect, but you were sensitive when it came to things like this.

it was embarrassing to admit, but you had never been kissed. no one even tried. you hadn’t even been on a date since high school, where you later found out that guy only went out with you for a dare. no one had wanted you like that in years.

until daniel. surprisingly, this night with him wasn’t bad. you had expected it to feel strange. forced. like you were pretending.

but he was nothing like that. he took things at your pace. he didn’t look through you, he saw you. he defended you. he stayed with you all night. his eye didn’t wander to any of the other beautiful, rich women at this event. he only wanted you.

“you have good taste,” he joked.

you giggled, and then you looked up. everything stopped.

he sat in a section across the room.

jungkook.

of course.

your heart jumped so violently you almost spilled your drink. he looked unfairly handsome. black button-up. sleeves rolled to his forearms. hair slightly messy like he'd run his hands through it already. he wasn't smiling. it was hard for anyone apart from arin to make him smile, even you. he looked comfortable. relaxed. kind of like you. there were people around him laughing and patting him on the back. 

then your eyes shifted and landed on the woman beside him. she was tall, attractive in a way you couldn’t achieve if you tried. her strawberry-blonde hair cascaded over one shoulder. she wore an emerald green silk slip dress. she was sexy, gorgeous, and at the same time had an intelligence and capability behind her eyes that made her magnetic. she leaned in close enough that their shoulders brushed. she said something. he answered. she laughed. he bit his lip piercing. your brain stopped working.

"who's that?" you whispered before you even realized you'd spoken.

"who?" daniel asked.

you didn't answer. the woman casually touched his arm like she'd done it a hundred times before. something inside your chest combusted.

what. the. hell.

your entire body went hot. you stared. she leaned closer again. said something in his ear. you couldn't hear it. didn't matter, your imagination was already doing enough damage.

who is she?

why is she touching him?

why is she laughing at everything he says?

why is he letting her?

does he think she’s pretty?

your jaw tightened. hard.

"hey?" manon snapped her fingers beside your face, “earth to—"

"i'm listening."

"you absolutely aren't."

"i am,” you said almost two forcefully.

"you've been staring at that section for thirty seconds."

you blinked. had you?

"sorry."

beomgyu followed your line of sight, “why are you staring in my boss’ section?”

your heart dropped. how—

oh. 

beomgyu worked for “one of those tech companies downtown.” jungkook was the ceo of one of them. he had mentioned some expansion to you. he had also mentioned an assistant that was the exact same age as beomgyu. you felt sick.

you unknowingly walked right into your own boss’ expansion party. one that you weren’t invited to. one that he went to with a woman. your eye twitched.

daniel gave you a concerned look, “are you okay?”

“yeah,” you responded. it was too quick. too sharp.

beomgyu repeated himself, “why are you staring at him?” 

“wait,” daniel tilted his head, “he’s kinda familiar.”

you couldn’t take your eyes off of that section, “that’s my boss.”

“oh shit,” beomgyu said, “you’re the nanny?”

the woman’s birch, manicured hand brushed his tattooed one. you looked away, focusing all of your attention on beomgyu. “yeah,” you almost whispered.

“he’s hot,” manon chuckled. it was an obvious attempt at lighting your soured mood.

"don't."

“just saying."

"don't."

"i'm objectively observing."

you looked back over. the blonde woman was smiling at him again. he reached over. fixed something on his collar. you saw red. actual. literal. red. your fingers tightened around your cup so hard you thought it might crack. who does she think she is? fixing his collar? he knows how to fix his own collar. probably.

actually, he was kind of bad at dressing himself.

that wasn't the point. she shouldn't be doing it. only you should.

you immediately recoiled from your own thoughts. what are you thinking? she can fix his collar if she wants. she can fix all of his collars. you don't own him. he's your boss. he's a grown man. he can date whoever—

she laughed again. it was too loud. you didn't even know if it was loud. it looked loud. annoyingly loud. how obnoxious. you narrowed your eyes. daniel looked over.

"everything okay?"

"yes."

he recoiled a little bit, “you sound angry."

"i'm not."

he paused for a long moment.

"you look angry."

"i'm not angry."

you were furious. over what? absolutely nothing. which somehow made you even angrier. you took one sip of your drink. didn't help. another. still didn't help. on the other side of the club, the woman followed jungkook's gaze. she said something. jungkook didn't answer. because he wasn't looking at her anymore.

he was looking at you.

his stomach dropped. you looked beautiful. the gold dress shimmered every time the lights changed. he'd never seen you dressed like that before. It was different from your normal style and it suited you too well. he noticed the way your skin glowed under the dim club lights. the brown lip gloss. the slight shimmer on your eyelids.

then, daniel leaned closer. he said something. you smiled. jungkook's jaw clenched automatically.

"mr. jeon?"

someone beside him was talking. he didn't hear a word. daniel handed you another drink. you accepted it with both hands, thanking him with that little smile. the one jungkook had secretly started recognizing. it was the sweet one. the one that made him feel like a miner who finally reached gold. his chest tightened.

now, all he could worry about what you would think. you watched him as amber slowly slid closer. her expensive perfume filled his nostrils, but it still wasn’t enough to get you off of his mind. you probably thought he was some kind of womanizer. that he slept around, or worse. what if you thought him and amber were an item? he shouldn't be here. he should've stayed home. he should've never texted amber. 

he watched daniel laugh. watched you laugh too. it bothered him far more than it should have.

"you know her?" amber's voice finally cut through.

he blinked, “what?"

she followed his eyes, “the girl in the gold dress."

his expression didn't change, “she works for me."

“everyone works for you.”

amber looked between the two of you. then smiled, “she's pretty."

he didn't answer.

"young little thing, isn’t she?”

still nothing.

"is that her boyfriend?"

his eyes drifted back to daniel. boyfriend. the word tasted bitter. "i don't know,” he muttered. it came out flatter than he intended. 

back in your section, you made the mistake of glancing over again. he was already looking at you. your heart skipped. neither of you smiled. neither of you waved. he just stared at you like you’d grown another head.  the music kept playing. people danced. glasses clinked. someone in his section shouted for another round of drinks. it was as though the rest of the club continued moving while the two of you remained perfectly still.

you looked at amber, then back at him.

he looked at daniel, then back at you.

it was a silent conversation. or rather an interrogation.

who's she?

who's he?

why are you here?

why are you here?

neither of you had the right to ask. neither of you could look away. daniel leaned down to tell you another joke. you forced yourself to listen. across the room, amber rested a hand lightly on jungkook's forearm as she spoke to him. he didn't even notice. despite the hundreds of people filling the club, the only person he could see was you.

you tore your eyes away first. fine. if he wanted to sit over there with miss perfect strawberry blonde, he could. you didn't care. you cared a normal amount. which was not at all. absolutely none. if you wanted to sit with someone new, you could, too. manon always said that if you wanted to get over someone, get under someone else. two could play at this game.

"you okay?"

daniel's voice pulled you back. you looked back at him, almost  smug with the knowledge that jungkook was watching you.

"yeah.”

"you sure?"

"mhm. i’m doing great.”

you scooted a little closer to him on the booth. just a little. enough that your shoulder brushed his.

he smiled, “better?"

“more than better."

he started telling you a story about one of his professors accidentally sending an answer key to the entire class. you laughed. a real laugh this time. maybe a slightly louder one than necessary. 

across the club, jungkook heard it. his eyes snapped up immediately. you were laughing with him. daniel. he put his hand on your bare shoulder. jungkook’s jaw flexed. this fucking guy. 

amber kept talking, “and then marketing wants to push the launch back another—"

"that's funny."

amber stopped, “what?"

jungkook turned to her. she hadn't said anything funny.

“nothing.”

his eyes drifted back toward your section. daniel had leaned closer. you leaned closer too. your knees were almost touching. something unpleasant settled low in his stomach. amber followed his gaze, observant as ever. she smiled to herself. interesting.

"mr. jeon."

he looked back, “yes?"

"are you listening to me?”

"of course."

"what did i just say?"

"...marketing?"

amber laughed, “not even close." she reached over and straightened the collar of his shirt again. this time, deliberately. slowly. her knowing eyes met his, “there."

jungkook normally would've slid away. tonight, his eyes flickered toward you. you were already looking. he let amber finish fixing it, taking her sweet time.

your eye twitched. oh. okay, okay. that's what we're doing? fine. you smiled sweetly at daniel, “can i see your phone?"

"sure."

he handed it over. you scooted even closer. your head nearly rested against his shoulder while you looked at whatever picture he was showing you. you could barely even see the screen. you were too busy pretending, “that's so cute. is that your baby cousin?”

daniel laughed, “yes! isn't she adorable?”

you got even closer. your thighs were touching. you sat up, putting your hand of his chest, “you know, i really want cute babies like that one day.”

he smiled awkwardly, “really?”

“mhm,” you purred, hand sliding up his chest, “with the right man, of course.”

daniel’s cheeks pinked, “aren’t we a little young for that kind of talk?”

across the room, jungkook nearly bent the glass in his hand. he couldn’t hear what your saying, but your body language made him recoil. he had never seen you like this. he wished you’d do that to him. jungkook swallowed. he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

"hyung?" 

jungkook looked behind the couch. beomgyu wandered over carrying another drink. he looked like he didn’t need any more, cheeks noticeably more flushed than before.

the younger man looked where he was staring, “oh." he squinted at his boss, “why are you staring at the nanny?” 

he scoffed unconvincingly, “i’m not—“

beomgyu studied him with immense suspicion, “did you guys hook up or something? the vibes are seriously—“

“no.” he took the drink from beomgyu’s hand with the same force he used on arin when she stole an extra cookie off of the plate, “you’re still talking to your boss, you know. go party with people your age,” jungkook scolded. 

“hey!” beomgyu exclaimed, “give me back my—“

“get some water, you still need to drive home.”

beomgyu mumbled a quick “yes hyung” and walked back to his section. jungkook took a deep breath in. get it together. and jungkook almost did, until he saw daniel tuck one of your curls behind your ear.

he turned to his right almost immediately, “amber."

she looked over, “yes?"

"you said everyone was dancing later."

she blinked, “yeah?"

he abruptly stood, “let's dance."

amber stared. she raised an eyebrow, “really? you’ve never been the dancing type.”

“maybe i want to try something new.”

she chuckled, “touché.”

he masked all reluctance and offered his hand. amber took it with thinly veiled eagerness. he led her down the stairs, straight to the crowded dance floor.

your head whipped up so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. dance? he wanted to dance? since when? you knew this man hated dancing. you had to beg him for a foot tap when you and arin had impromptu dance parties in the kitchen. you smiled at the memory. 

then you remembered why you were mad. you frowned. he was a liar. amber smoothed her dress with the grace of a royal. she looped her arm lightly through his. your nostrils flared. 

daniel looked over, “want to dance?"

"yes."

the answer came out far too quickly.

"...great." he smiled awkwardly. the poor boy had no idea he'd just enlisted in a war.

you followed him toward the dance floor. the second jungkook saw you stand, his competitive streak activated instantly. fuck no. he led amber farther onto the floor.

you noticed. fine. you let daniel rest a hand lightly at your waist. It felt strange, but you put on an oscar worthy performance to cover that fact up. 

jungkook noticed. his eye twitched.

amber looked up at him, “you're distracted tonight."

"am i?"

"very."

“oh.”

he still wasn't looking at amber. he was watching daniel smile at you. you laughed again. it was cute, way too cute. your hand rested briefly on daniel's shoulder. jungkook inhaled sharply. without thinking, he placed a hand against the small of amber's back. amber nearly short-circuited. 

your mouth fell open. pure bitterness bubbled under your skin. oh, really? you smiled at daniel, “you can hold me closer.”

“really?”

“mhm.” your dress shimmered beneath the lights. you wrapped both hands around his arm for balance.

jungkook looked like he wanted to fight someone. probably daniel. possibly the entire concept of twenty-year-old men.

amber leaned up and said something into jungkook's ear. she wasn't even flirting anymore. she was mostly curious why he suddenly seemed possessed. he nodded absently.

your eyes narrowed. fine. you reached up and fixed daniel's hair where it had fallen over his forehead. daniel smiled sheepishly, “thanks."

jungkook stopped moving entirely. amber had to tug him back into the rhythm, “mr. jeon?”

his gaze never left you. you looked smug. he looked offended. neither of you had any logical reason to be either. the music changed. the club kept moving. around them, everyone laughed, danced, drank, and celebrated another successful quarter, completely oblivious to the all-out battle happening across the dance floor. 

daniel ran a hand through his mousy hair, “whew, it’s hot in here!” 

“wanna take a break?” you asked.

he nodded. you led him back up to the section, pulling him by his hand. when you got up there, he checked his phone, “i’m gonna run to the bathroom. be right back.” your date disappeared into the crowd.

“you look like you need a drink.”

you looked over. beomgyu sat on the other side of the couch from you, alone. you smoothed the front of your dress, “excuse me?”

“hey,” he shot back, “don’t shoot the messenger.” he threw his hands up and gave you an obvious once-over, “you’ve been acting weird all night.”

you didn’t look up, digging in your purse for a lip gloss, “you’re one to talk—”

beomgyu ignored you. “no, not all night,” he slowly slid towards you with a mischevious grin, “since you saw mr. jeon.”

“this has nothing to do with jungkook.”

he raised his eyebrows, “you’re on a first name basis with him?”

you crossed your arms, shrinking slightly, “it’s not like that.”

“i think you should get a drink,” beomgyu said with finality, “the bar’s that way.” he pointed.

your gaze followed the direction of his finger to the bar. it was empty, apart from one all too familiar man. jungkook. your chest ached. you couldn’t look away. that woman was no where to be found. daniel was no where to be found. there was an empty space to his right. 

you shouldn’t. he had someone. you weren’t even supposed to be here. against your strongest inhibitions, you spoke without thought. your voice came out softer than intended, “maybe i will.”

you walked down the stairs. through the dance floor. past the crowds, driven by nothing but your foolish heart and sudden audacity. 

the bartender looked up as you reached the counter, “what can i get you?"

"um..."

before you could answer—

“a french 75."

you froze. you didn't have to turn around. you already knew that voice. the bartender nodded, “coming right up."

you slowly looked beside you. jungkook stood there with one hand in his pocket. his tie had been loosened sometime during the night. the top buttons of his shirt was undone. he looked unfairly, disgustingly, aggravatingly handsome.

you immediately looked away, “i can pay for my own drink."

"i know."

"then why did you order it?"

"because i wanted to."

"i didn't ask you to."

"i know."

the bartender slid the drink across the counter. jungkook handed over his black card before you could even reach for your purse.

you sighed, “thank you."

"you're welcome."

to say that the silence that that fell over you was awkward would be an understatement. you picked up the glass.

he gave you a quick once over, “you clean up nicely."

you swallowed, “thank you."

"that dress is different.”

“it is."

"it looks nice."

your stomach betrayed you with a tiny flutter. you hated that it did, “thanks."

he nodded once, “your date seems nice."

there it was. you looked into your drink, “he is."

"good."

"...your date seems nice too."

his jaw tightened almost imperceptibly, "she isn't my date."

you gave him a blank stare, “could've fooled me. she keeps touching you."

“she works for me” 

“so do i.”

he laughed once without humor, “interesting."

"what?"

"nothing."

"say it."

he took a sip of his drink, “i just didn't realize you were paying that much attention."

heat rushed into your face, “i wasn't."

"right."

"i wasn’t.”

"okay."

his calmness irritated you.

"i wasn't."

"you've said that three times."

"because you keep acting like i'm jealous."

he raised an eyebrow, “aren't you?"

your mouth fell open, “of course not."

"good."

"good."

"because i thought daniel was touching you a lot."

your eyes narrowed, “he's my date."

"i'm aware."

"that's generally what people on dates do."

"apparently."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"nothing."

"no, say it."

he looked away, “forget it."

"no."

"forget it."

"don't tell me to forget it."

"you're the one who wanted to date him."

you scoffed, “excuse me?"

his expression shifted immediately. he hadn't meant to say that.

you stared at him, “what do you mean by that?”

"nothing."

"no."

your voice sharpened in a way it never did for him, “what does that mean?"

before he could answer, jungkook surveyed the surrounding area. he saw james from marketing staring at him and whispering to her colleagues. in this business, reputation was everything. as a ceo of a new, successful company, appearances meant life or death. then he saw irene from the legal team with her subordinates. their eyes lingered. jungkook noticed immediately. he looked at you, looked at them, and made a decision.

"come with me."

you frowned, “what?"

"come here."

before you could protest, he lightly caught your wrist. not hard enough to hurt, just enough to guide you away from curious eyes.

you stumbled after him, “jungkook—"

he opened an unmarked door near the hallway. It was a private, unused vip room. he stepped inside. you followed, the door shutting behind you. in that moment, the room suddenly felt smaller. the music became muffled.

silence.

you immediately crossed your arms, “what was that?"

he turned, “I wasn't going to have this conversation in front of my employees."

"i wasn't aware we were having one.”

he let out a slow breath, “you know exactly what i'm talking about."

"actually, i don't."

"you've been glaring at amber all night."

you laughed. it was short. sharp.

“unbelievable.”

"what?"

"you're accusing me?"

"i'm stating a fact."

"then here's one." 

you stepped closer.

"you've spent the entire night staring at me."

he opened his mouth. closed it again.

"exactly."

he rubbed a hand over his slightly flushed face, ”i wasn't—"

"don’t,” you cut him off, “don't lie to me."

his patience finally cracked, “fine. i was looking." you exhaled sharply. he continued before you could respond, “because every time i looked over, he was touching you."

your heart pounded.

"he's allowed to."

"i know."

"he's my date."

"i know."

"then why are you angry?”

"because—"

he stopped himself. too late. you caught it.

“because what?"  jungkook didn’t respond. he looked away. you laughed again. this time your voice trembled, “that's what i thought."

"don't."

"don't what?”

"put words in my mouth."

"you're not saying anything!"

your voice echoed off the walls.

"you don't get to act like this!"

"like what?"

"jealous!"

the room fell silent. the word hung between you.

jungkook stared at you. “jealous,” he echoed bitterly.

"yes."

"that's what you think this is?"

"isn't it?"

he smiled humorlessly,  "that's rich."

your eyebrows drew together, “what's that supposed to mean?"

"you've been all jumpy this week.”

your expression faltered, “what?"

"you draw me in and then you shut me out."

"i do not."

“you have dinner with me and my daughter, ask me about my day, bake me fucking muffins, and walk around my house like you’ve always been there.”

"because i’m trying to be professional. it’s my job.”

"no,” he shook his head, “that’s not professional.”

you threw your hands up, “then what is it, jungkook?”

jungkook’s exasperated eyes met yours. he could barely hold them for a second. he took a step back and ran his hands over his face, rings shining under the dim light, “i don’t know. that’s the problem.”

your throat tightened.

"you've been acting like you want me around," he continued. "then the second i get close, you disappear."

you looked away, “i’ve been busy."

"bullshit."

your eyes narrowed, "you don't get to tell me what i'm feeling."

"then tell me."

you stepped back, “i don't have to.”

"why not?"

"because you're my boss."

"that's never stopped you before."

the words slipped out before he could take them back. you stared at him. his jaw tightened.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"you know exactly what i mean."

"no, i don't."

"you used to sit in my office and talk to me for twenty minutes when you were supposed to be working."

"because you were lonely."

"you wait for me alone in the living room to come home when i’m late."

"because arin was waiting for you, and she needs sleep."

"you used to worry when i skipped lunch."

"because you never eat."

"you remembered how i take my coffee."

"jungkook—"

"you know when i'm tired before i do."

"stop."

"you know when i'm upset."

"stop."

"you know when i haven't eaten."

“i said stop."

"and now you're standing here telling me none of it means anything?"

your eyes burned, “it doesn't mean what you think it means."

"then what does it mean?" he took a step closer, “after everything you did for me, what am i supposed to think?"

"i don't know."

"you don't know?"

"no."

"then why did you bring him here?"

the question hit differently. your face hardened, “because i wanted to go on a date."

"why?"

"i can."

"didn't say you couldn't."

"you don't have to,” you shot back.

why are you angry now?”

"i'm not angry."

"you're furious."

"so are you."

"yes." the admission startled both of you. jungkook dragged a hand through his hair, “I’m fucking livid.”

"why?"

he looked at you. for a second, neither of you moved. he sighed, “i don't understand you."

your voice came out smaller than you intended, “you don't have to."

"i want to."

your heart lurched, “why?"

he didn't answer immediately. instead, his eyes dropped to your mouth before he caught himself. when he looked back at you, something had changed.

"that's what i've been trying to figure out."

“stop,” you said too harshly, “give up.”

“no,” he took another step towards you, “you don’t get to shut down on me.”

you avoided eye contact. “go find that woman,” you said shakily.

jungkook stilled completely. he studied you slowly. he noticed everything. the way your weight shifted from foot to foot ever so slightly in your golden kitten heels. the way you still clenched at your purse. the way you desperately tried to appear angry, but your true frantic, avoidant state was clear behind your eyes. he stared at you like you were the greatest puzzle he had ever seen. like you were a living contradiction. he sighed and looked away, his tongue rolling slowly against the inside of his cheek, “what?”

when he spoke, he was quiet. hushed. authoritative. your stomach fluttered. you felt seen, but not in the comforting way. you were vulnerable. exposed. you shuddered, but still doubled down, “y-you seemed really interested in her earlier.”

his blood boiled, “stop deflecting.”

you shook your head, “no, you don’t get to interrogate me while you had her hanging on your every last word.” your voice cracked on the last syllable. you turned away, trying to collect yourself.

oh. his shoulders softened. you were breathing hard now. so was he. the room felt much too small. too hot. too full of everything neither of you had allowed yourselves to say. 

he thought of all the times you lingered longer than necessary. the times you worried about him. how you looked when you watched him and yoonseo with arin. how you had the same look in your eyes right now. and suddenly, everything made much more sense. his chest lurched at the realization.

his hand slowly slid over your shoulder, “were you jealous of amber?”

“…no.”

you turned to look at him. your eyes were big and glassy. jungkook swallowed, “just tell me what’s wrong.”

you kept your back to him.

“please.”

you turned around completely this time, “stop pretending. you just liked knowing i’d always be there.”

it was ugly. harsh in a way that you never thought you’d be with him. completely untrue. immediately regretted as soon as the last sound left your lips.

he didn’t waver, “you don’t mean that.”

your lip trembled, “i don’t.”

your wide eyes finally met his. his hands rested on your shoulders, rings cool on your bare skin. your nose was rosy. you sniffled softly. 

“what do you mean?”

“you don’t want to know,” you practically whispered.

“try me,” he murmured back, leaning in. he rubbed circles into your shoulders, “please.”

your fingers curled into your palms. the silence stretched. your heartbeat was so loud it felt embarrassing. you should have stopped. you knew you should have. instead, the words came out so softly you almost didn't hear them yourself.

"i'm in love with you."

everything stopped. the room. the music thudding faintly through the walls. any remnants of the anger between you. it all just...fell away. 

jungkook stared at you. his face changed so quickly it almost hurt to watch. shock first. then something tender and disbelieving. then relief so sharp it looked like pain. 

you immediately regretted it, because now that it was out there, you could see the truth in his face. this wasn't the kind of confession that came from nowhere. he had wanted to hear it. maybe longer than you had. but the second you saw that expression, your fear came flooding back. you looked down.

“i know it’s wrong, i know i’m younger, and i’m just your nanny—”

"i love you too."

you looked up. the words were barely above a whisper. for a second, they didn't make sense. they sat in the air between you, impossible and warm and terrifying.

your breath caught in utter disbelief, “what?"

he looked at you with the kind of honesty that made your knees feel weak, “i love you too."

your breath left you all at once. he didn't say anything else. didn't rush. didn't take it back. he just looked at you like he'd been carrying it for so long it hurt to hold it in anymore. your eyes filled before you could stop them. and then he moved. it was slow, careful—like he was still giving you every chance to back away. you didn't. his hand came up to your jaw, thumb brushing once beneath your cheekbone.

then he kissed you.

it was the kind of kiss that felt like it had been waiting for too long. like he had spent weeks looking at your mouth and months trying not to.

your breath caught against him. the first touch of his lips made your whole body go still, then melt. he was warm and gentle. one of his hands stayed at your jaw like you were something fragile and precious like something he had no right to touch and was touching anyway. 

your fingers lifted to his shirt almost on instinct, bunching the fabric lightly at his chest. he made a quiet sound against your mouth. it was barely there, but made your stomach flip anyway. the kiss deepened only slightly, still controlled, still careful, but it was enough to make your heart feel like it was spilling everywhere.

when you finally parted, it was only because you had to breathe. your foreheads rested together, both of you silent and shaking a little. he smiled first.

“you don’t get to decide what you mean to me,” he murmured with assertiveness, “okay?”

your heart fluttered, “okay.”

your hands were still curled in his shirt. you hadn't let go. he hadn't either. the tension that had been living between you for so long had finally snapped into something softer. something that made both of your shoulders so much lighter. finally.

he pulled back to see your face. his hands still cupped your cheeks. for a moment, all you could do was stare at him. his mouth was still close to yours. and even after that kiss, even after hearing him say it back, the old fear came rushing in like it had been waiting behind a door this whole time. it was almost humiliating how quickly it came back.

your breath caught, “jungkook, i don’t think you know—”

“no.”

his voice was soft immediately. not sharp. not frustrated. just calm. you opened your mouth anyway, because the panic had already started building.

“maybe this is—”

he kissed you again. deeper this time. enough to stop the words before they could become a whole disaster. your hands flew up automatically, clutching at his shirt, and the sentence fell apart in your throat. he held you there for a second longer, mouth warm against yours, steady and sure in a way that made your knees feel weak.

when he pulled back, it was only far enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“i..i—“

“shh,” he murmured.

the sound of it made something in your chest unclench.

his hand moved higher up your back, steadying you. yours stayed in his hair. the rest of the club disappeared completely. the music became background noise. the private room, the whole argument, the impossible tension from the last several weeks, all of it collapsed into something simple and warm and immediate.

when he finally pulled back, it was only enough to breathe. you rested your head against his chest this time, a little dizzy, a little overwhelmed, a little too happy to speak. he held you there without hesitation. one hand at your waist. one hand at the back of your head.

“better?” he asked softly.

you nodded once against his shirt. 

he smiled against your hair, “good.”

outside, the party continued.

inside that little room, it felt like everything had finally gone quiet.

author’s note:

that was a rollercoaster, huh?

i was really struggling to pick a song for this chapter because there are so many moods and vibes here.

but most importantly, my messy babies finally kissed😍😍 it was about damn time lol. y’all better be proud because it hurt my soul to keep them apart for this long😭😭

thank you for reading and i hope you all are as happy as i am!

xoxo,

kandi

PS: the dress on the moodboard at the top of this post is the dress i was imagining when describing the oc’s dress!!!

SERIES TAGLIST (closed because tumblr won’t let me tag anymore people 😔)-> @hiilovetata @cookysstuff @chasinghxran @httpjk7 @btsarmyfvr @fleouris @kissyfacekoo @slimjim7 @looneybleus @seggsyyyyou @whatthesigm-a @jjkluver7 @issyy3 @rpwprpwprpwprw @annpeachy @devilzliason @ohyeah35sworld @bts123746 @jeonval @bjoriis @alextgef @jkgivinsleeplessnites @mar-lo-pap @ot7girl4l @emmie2308 @bratglore @amimi-bts @madwriter16-blog @chwrryppie @girlyminmin03 @lovehobicheol @imtiredofthisbsstuff @jungshaking @jeonsdeerbaby @rjsmochii @mninotjungkook @takemetothesky01 @rose-sees @ggukcosmos @hoofymalone @jkgivinsleeplessnites @ggukette @kpoplover-19 @pleasantheartsworld @spiidergirlsworld @127ismylife @ttipa @naty-sunshine @katelynluvsniki @jooniesreal1 @rkive994 @jjkkkk15 @annabellebananabelle @sc05 @leeknowsbigtoe @thatgirliehan @claireshelby @djobts @bananabelle2004 @raez1ee @hotdasbcd @bammbi-jeon127 @iosivb9 @sc05 @5starmilf @peach-delight @redemptions @yoongisorangepeel @bugbxte @httpjeonlicious @lunaryoongie @ivymurdock @jjkxoxx @kittenwithpearls @jungkooksrealgirl @j0cgr0c @kskskskskskskskss

[yeahokaywhatev]

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hi, i’m haile. 24. in between jobs with loads of free time to rp.

i’m really looking for people who genuinely want to write and not just plot and run away.

im very interested in plotting and give my 100% to each plot/ character i write. i’m looking for doubles, but im okay with mxf too as long as you let me play my f oc.

i’ll fc and play as anyone you want for your plot, as long as the character isn’t a minor.

i’m okay with smut, (pretty wild i tell you, i like a lot of freaky things) so please be okay with including smut. i’m okay with simply only nsfw rps as well.

do not interact if you’re a minor, or you’re busy, or you’re gonna ghost.

[yeahokaywhatev]

Looking for short term rps, whatever floats your boat. You know the drill. Only reach out if you’re over 21!