Loser @yeetskeeeee - Tumblr Blog

just-shower-thoughts

Sometimes the thought of something feels better than the thing itself.

browsedankmemes

equality, ladies and gentlemen via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2Oi1ftA

browsedankmemes

Wow I fell Stupid via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2rQM0QJ

lady-raziel

world champion hot dog eater material right here

lady-raziel

please. i’m just trying to exist leave me be i do not want your product

one-time-i-dreamt

I met Ryan Reynolds and told him we was my idol. He kissed me on the forehead, whispered, “You look like a fucking badger,” and walked away.

kissmeimadragonlord

If someone told me this was an actually interaction they had with him I wouldn’t be surprised.

satansyoungerbrother

I forgot to read the blog name and just wrote it off as “yep that’s Reynolds.”

yeetskeeeee

^

wilfcrd

Wilford over the years

mugiwara-lucy

“Goku’s a terrible father!” “He doesn’t care about his family!”

Yep he sure doesn’t.

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

I never should’ve taught my parrot how to laugh it’s given him far too much power

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

do you know how embarrassing it is to have a pet that can laugh at you? I dropped my ice cream and wailed in despair and my parrot zoomed out of nowhere JUST so he could stand on the couch and laugh at me. I’m being called a dumb bitch in my own home by my OWN SON.

pearl-likes-pi

WHY ARE YOU RUNNING

zombieskill72

@coolsupernaturallover

yeetskeeeee

DEAD

one-time-i-dreamt

I met Markiplier in a grocery store, but when I went up to him to say hello I said “why the fuck are you in Canada?” instead and he looked like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been before yelling “DISTRACTION!” and throwing a box of Kleenex at my head. When I looked back, he was barreling toward the exit.

writing-prompt-s

A young gay dragon has to explain to his parents why he is only kidnapping princes

ravenschmaven

He doesn’t have to explain. They love and support him and want him to feel comfortable, so they, too, begin looking for princes.

His mother, known for destroying kingdoms in a single breath, risks that reputation to find her son a mate.

His father, feared for snatching whole cities up in his claws, risks thatreputation to find his son a love.

They check every castle, every citadel, but the boys are all off. Too mean, too soft, too quiet, too loud, and the parents hate the idea of telling their son that they can’t find him anyone.

And then, as they’re about to leave, a voice. It’s a boy, barely an adult, with dark skin and bright eyes and a soul brighter than dragon fire.

“I heard you’re looking for a prince.”

“You are not a prince. Where is your castle, your court? Nobody worships you.”

The boy smiles, and holds out his hand. “I am the prince of woodlands, of brooks and bays and rivers and fields. My castle lies all around, my court are the animals who fill the earth, and the mortals worship for me is unending.” A breeze picks up, and in his hand forms a flower.

The parents look at each other, and nod once.

It is time to bring this Woodland Prince home.

writing-prompt-s

Awhhhh <3

yeetskeeeee

Wholesome

just-shower-thoughts

Nobody asks to be raped, but people ask for drugs all the time. Rapists get less jail time than drug dealers

yeetskeeeee

This is so fucked up

writing-prompt-s

The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.

mildswearingat4am

Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.

They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.

“Here’s your change, ma'am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.

“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”

“Yes.”

You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.

“Ma'am–no, ma'am, you have to take the dragon, too.”

“Sorry?”

The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”

They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.

The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.

“Have a nice day, ma'am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”

From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.

bdubs8807

Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.