Pairings: The Avengers x reader, Bucky x f!reader (platonic), Steve Rogers x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x f!reader (Reader is 15-17 ish bc thats how old he was in Spiderman: Hoco)
Warnings: ⚠️TW⚠️Self harm, razor blade(s), body image issues, depression, mentioned suicide, angst, fluff, caring family, ✨tears✨
A/N: if you or someone you know is going through something you can ALWAYS text me. The suicide hotline is 800-273-8255. there is always another way and people WILL miss you. also, not my gif :) I’m obsessed with caring soft Bucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Working out inside made you sweat a lot, but with the sweatshirt too? Oh boy. The worst part was you were only finishing your warm up and haven't even begun the workout.
Disrupting your thoughts, the gym doors opened, revealing the one and only, Bucky Barnes. Taking out an ear bud to acknowledge his presence, you say "Hey Buck." But he notices its not in your usual, excited tone.
"Hey y/n, mind if I join?"
"I was actually about to head back up to my room. Not feeling great today."
"I'm just tired. Might take a nap and see if that helps. I'll see you later, enjoy your workout." You try to rush out, wanting to avoid as much social interaction as you can today.
"Y/N, wait." You stop and turn back around to look at him. He has a worried look in his eyes. "What's really wrong? Something up, and I know damn well that you're not 'just tired'. I know you're tired look, and this ain't it."
"I'm fine, alright? I'm going to my room. Ill see you later, Buck." He sighs in frustration.
What could possibly be wrong enough to keep from the team?
It has to be something serious. She hasn't acted like this before... at least not around the team. Bucky knows y/n well, and she's not seemed like herself lately. Other members of the team have noticed her acting differently, but haven't pushed it or really said anything much about it. She hasn't talked to Bucky about it, and she usually would. The only other person she would go to about something that is seriously bothering her would be Peter.
Bucky doesn't push it for the moment, but he runs into Peter later that day in the common room.
"Hey, Peter. Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?"
"Sure, what's going on? Is it about being late to the training the other day? I swear I was-" Peter's face fills with nervousness.
"No, no. I don't care about that. I'm worried about y/n." Bucky says, dismissing Peter's initial fear, replacing it with a new one.
"Oh.. you've noticed it too? Something's wrong, but she hasn't talked about it. And I'm scared to push it. She's been really distant with me lately. I can't tell if she's about to break up with me or if it's something else."
"She's been distant with the rest of the team, too. It's not just you." He pauses, thinking. "She really hasn't said anything about what's bothering her?" Bucky says with a puzzled expression.
"She keeps saying she's tired and busy, but I know that's not it. Wait.. she hasn't talked to either of us about it?" Peter says, his expression showing that he realises this could be bad.
"No, I have no idea what's going on with her. I figured she would've told you. Usually, she tells at least one of us, right?"
"Yeah, that's usually how it goes... Does Mr. Rogers know anything?"
"No, I talked to the rest of the team, and no one knows anything. They've noticed that she's acting different, but that's it. She rushed out of the gym this morning when I went in, saying that she doesn't feel good and might take a nap."
"That's weird, because I told her she should sleep in today, but she said she'd be too busy for that."
"We're gonna figure this out. I'm not gonna let her go through whatever this is alone. Come with me." Bucky says, walking towards the elevator, Peter following behind.
They head to the living quarters and stop in front of y/n's room. Bucky knocks on the doors, getting no response after a few seconds. He knocks again. "Y/n, it's Bucky and Peter. Can we come in?" Again, no response. Bucky twists the doorknob and slowly pushes the door open. The two of them step inside and find that y/n isn't in her room at all. Bucky walks towards the back of the room, closer to the bathroom, while Peter stays closer to the entry, looking around her desk.
"If you see anything that might give us answers, tell me. I know we shouldn't be snooping like this, but I'm worried, and she isn't talking." Bucky says with concern in his voice.
"I agree. I'm not sure what else to do. Pushing the conversation doesn't seem like a good idea right now."
The two of them continue to look around the room for anything that would lead them to a clue as to what's bothering y/n. Something catches Bucky's eye, and he makes his way to the bathroom sink. His face drops.
"Peter. Come here." His eyes don't leave the same spot on the counter. Peter walks over, and his eyes follow Bucky's. A bloody razor blade. Their eyes meet, but they remain silent. There's a new tension that fills the room. Bucky crouches down and opens the cabinets under the sink. A pack of razor blades and various bandages.
Just as Bucky begins to stand back up, the bedroom door opens and y/n walks in.
"Guys, what're you doing in here?" You say, walking over to where they are. They stay silent, and the look on their faces makes me realise what's happening. The blade is still on the sink, and they found it. Your face drops, and you go pale. You back up and start to walk away, quicker as you get closer to the door.
No no no.. this can't be happening. They weren't supposed to find out.
Your mind goes blank, and you panic. Tears fill your eyes.
I need to get away from them. Away from this situation.
So, you run as fast as you can towards an exit, but it's not fast enough. Before you can get to the end of the hallway, two arms wrap around you tightly, and you can't get away. The tears begin to fall, and the shame hits you. You sob, and Peter holds you. You look up, and Bucky has his back against the wall with one arm crossed and the other holding his face. You don't say anything, and neither do they.
The three of you walk back to your room. They sit you on the bed, with them on either side of you. The three of you sit in silence for a second before you speak.
"Please don't tell my dad," you sob. "I don't know what else to do. I don't know what's wrong. All I know is it makes me feel better when nothing else does. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true," you say through the tears. "I'm sorry."
"Y/n, you don't need to apologise. We're not mad. Not at all. We're just worried..." Bucky pauses. "Can you show me where?" He says softly, concern in his voice. You pull up the sleeves of your shirt, revealing the bandages covering your cuts. Bucky stands, holding your hands palm up. "Nowhere else? Just here?"
You nod silently, looking down with guilt.
"This is why you've been distant with everyone?" Bucky asks.
You nod again, still silent. You don't know what to say, or that saying anything would help the situation. You know Bucky and Peter care; they always have, but this wasn't something you could talk about with anyone. You felt like you were drowning, and nothing else seemed to help.
"Baby, we can help you. Even if we can't, we can find you someone who will. We can't let you do this to yourself..." Peter says, placing a kiss to the top of your head.
"Maybe I'll go see someone. A therapist or something. I don't know... but let me have the conversation with my dad. When I'm ready. This can't be something he hears from you guys."
"That sounds good. We can do that. Whatever you need. We're here for you, even if you don't want to talk about it. We all love and care about you. Don't forget that." Peter says reassuringly.
"I know, and thank you. I love you guys too."
"Now, before I leave, I'm taking these." Bucky says, holding up the small box of razor blades you kept under the sink. You nod.
"Are there any more anywhere else? And don't think I won't tear this room apart looking for them." Bucky says, stern but caringly.
"No, that's it. That's all of them." You say, looking down at your empty hands.
"Alright then, I'll leave you two be for now. You know where I am if you need me. And if you can't find me, call me anytime and I'll answer." Bucky says, walking towards the door.
"Thank you, Buck." You say with a small, soft smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Wow! I finally made a part 3! Are you guys so proud of me or what?! Anyways, there might be a part 4 where y/n talks to Steve and starts seeing a therapist and stuff, maybe not. Who knows. I hope this was good enough. I wrote this in like an hour or so.
Tags: @angeldreifics @yourfavoritefangirl @that-one-person @vicmc624
