[yellow-side-things]

"Love, Victor"

Dear friend,

"Love, Victor" had been on my watchlist for quite some time but I haven't watched it until a couple of days ago and let me tell you: I'm very glad I did. I just need to get these thoughts off of my mind, otherwise I'm going to combust:

1) First and foremost: "Love, Victor" is way more realistic and authentic than "Love, Simon". The latter is by no means a bad movie, it's just now that I have a comparison Simon's coming out is depicted picture-perfectly and very cliche, when in reality it isn't always like that. Coming out is the one thing, dealing with the aftermath the other. People are not always as accepting and tolerating as you'd like them to be.

2) I like that multiple issues make up the show which makes people relate on different levels: Most importantly homosexuality in a religious household that is also heavily influenced by culture (especially older generations). Emotional and mental trauma of children of mentally ill and unavailable parents (e.g. Felix and his with depression dealing mother and him having to take care of her, Mia and her neglecting dad, Lake feeling worthless and ashamed of her body because her mother trimmed her on diets from a young age). This one may be odd but the fact that Victor and his siblings cannot properly speak their mother tongue - I can kinda relate...

3) I really like that it takes Isabel a long time to come to terms with the coming out of her son and that she doesn't accept it after one oder two episodes. It makes it more real.

4) Felix and Lake were cute together but they reminded me too much of Stiles and Lydia in Teen Wolf - The "loser" gets together with the popular girl. Although they didn't have as much screen time, I think Pilar and Felix would make a great couple and I'm very excited to see more of them in season three!

5) Honestly, Mia got on my nerves for the majority of the time but in the end she just feels lonely and wants to be loved. The love she can't find at home she searches for in other places. We all just want to be loved, so I do understand why she acts the way she does (at least sometimes...).

6) I do understand that it must have felt very embarrassing and humiliating for Benji that Victor found out about his past as a teen alcoholic, especially on his birthday and on a get-together with his parents. However, confronting Victor in terms of him being new to all the "gay-stuff" and considering him a burden is just hurtful. Yes, they were both very vulnerable and hurt in that situation and again, yes, in such situations you say things you regret afterwards but still. There was most likely someone leading Benji through that stuff as well when he first came out. Words stick with people and you can't take them back. You may apologize afterwards but in the moment of speaking those words, a tiny bit of truth resonates.

7) Rahim is a very cool character and I like how comfortable Victor feels around him, particularly because Rahim can relate to him on a level Benji can't, which is coming out to very religious parents. And I must admit, I've felt more tension between these two than between Victor and Benji, especially when they sang "Holy" together. However, I find it sad that Rahim literally pops out of nowhere. He makes his first appearance in the sixth episode which makes it seem like they wanted to squeeze him in. If only he had been around since the beginning of like season 2 and then became more important each episode. But this way it's like, "Yeah, let's just add him because the first love isn't meant to work out all the time."

8) I think it's beautiful how Adrian reacted to Victor being gay. Adults always have that fear of disturbing children when telling them certain things, things that - in their way of thinking - "don't conform to the norm". But sometimes you don't have to be that terrified. Children have that beautiful way of taking many things with such an ease, you'd be surprised. And that ease slowly but surely transfers to Victors parents (especially his mother) and they start to come to terms with their son's homosexuality because it's not a phase; that's just who Victor is.

9) The scene that made me cry the most was when Felix showed up with his social worker in front of Victor's apartment and broke down in Isabel's arms. He really needed a motherly hug and the song playing in the background intensified the moment. It's so impressive yet sad how good he was at keeping this major part of his life (the situation with his mother) a secret from his best friend who literally lives in the same building. He hid his sadness and sorrow so well by constantly acting like the funny friend, which by the way is a response to emotional trauma.

10) Last but definitely not least: Why make such a big fuss about telling the entire school you're gay? You don't owe anyone an explanation. Like, why do you even feel the need to tell them, it's none of their business? Just tell your loved ones and that's it... We live in the 21st century, can we please just normalize that there are other sexual preferences other than being straight? Especially older generations: I know it's different from what you know and what you were taught but please try to loosen up a bit.

Needless to say, there are many more things and scenes making this show so special and important but these are just some of the things I've thought about a lot.

Just because I feel like it here are some song recommendations from "Love, Victor":

- "Heaven Is a Hand to Hold" by Duncan Laurence

- "Somebody to Tell Me" by Tyler Glenn

- "Brave" by Riley Pearce

- "Holy" by Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper

- "Two of us" by WRABEL (this song hasn't been released yet but AHHH, I NEED IT. NOW!!!)

Lots of love <3

[yellow-side-things]

Book Quotes from ‘Call Me By Your Name’

“You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn’t.”

“Just ask if I want to and see the answer you’ll get, just don’t let me say no.”

“[…] youth has no shame, shame comes with age.”

“All I had to do was find the source of happiness in me and not rely on others to supply it the next time.”

“[…] both of them begging me to play more tennis, go dancing more often, get to know people, find out for myself why others are so necessary in life and not just foreign bodies to be sidled up to. Do crazy things if you must, […]”

“All I had to do was list the works I’d read here and he’d know all the places I’ve travelled to.”

“Everyone goes through a period of traviamento － when we take, say, a different turn in life, the other via. Dante himself did. Some recover, some pretend to recover, some never come back, some chicken out before even starting, and some, for fear of taking any turns, find themselves leading the wrong life all life long.”

“Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.”

“Smile, and the world smiles back.”

“There was more to learn in this tiny crammed bookstore than in any of the mighty institutions across the Atlantic.”

“I wish I had one friend I wasn’t destined to lose.”

“Think of the pain before the pain.”

“Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is not better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything － what a waste!”

“How you live your life us your business. But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only one. Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between. But there’s only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there’s sorrow. I don’t envy the pain. But I envy you the pain.”

“Time makes us sentimental. Perhaps, in the end, it is because of time that we suffer.”

“I stopped for a second. If you remember everything, I wanted to say, and if you are really like me, then before you leave tomorrow, or when you’re just ready to shut the door of the taxi and have already said goodbye to everyone else and there’s not a thing left to say in this life, then, just once, turn to me, even in jest, or as an afterthought, which would have meant everything to me when we were together, and, as you did back then, look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name.”

[yellow-side-things]

Todd Anderson’s Poem in ‘Dead Poets Society’

We are dreaming of tomorrow, and tomorrow isn’t coming;

we are dreaming of a glory that we

don’t really want.

We are dreaming of a new day when the new day’s here already.

We are running from the battle when it’s one that must be fought.

And still we sleep.

We are listening for the calling but

never really heeding,

Hoping for the future when the future’s only plans.

Dreaming of the wisdom that we are

dodging daily,

Praying for a savior when salvation’s in our hands.

And still we sleep.

And still we sleep.

And still we pray.

And still we fear…

[yellow-side-things]

Book Quotes from ‘Dead Poets Society’

For all who have lost touch with the magic inside of them.

“[…] No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas have the power to change the world.”

“One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion! Medicine, law, banking—these are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, romance, love, beauty? These are what we stay alive for!”

“I stand on my desk to remind myself that we must constantly force ourselves to look at things differently. The world looks different from up here.”

“If you’re sure about something, force yourself to think about it another way, even if you know it’s wrong or silly. When you read, don’t consider only what the author thinks, but take time to consider what you think. You must strive to find your own voice, boys, and the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. […] Risk walking new ground.”

“I feel like I’ve never been alive. […] For years, I’ve been risking nothing. I have no idea what I am or what I want to do.”

“That is, deal with the important things in life—love, beauty, truth, justice. […] And don’t limit poetry to the word. Poetry can be found in music, a photograph, in the way a meal is prepared—anything with the stuff of revelation in it. It can exist in the most everyday things but it must never, never be ordinary.”

“What it demonstrates is how difficult it is for any of us to listen to our own voice or maintain our own beliefs in the presence of others. […] Lads, there is a great need in all of us to be accepted, but you must trust what is unique or different about yourself, even if it’s odd or unpopular.”

“It’s so wonderful to be accepted for … you know … what you have inside.”

“God, for the first time in my whole life, I feel completely alive!”

“We thought it would be good to break old habits, sir. […] - What is wrong with old habits, Mr. Overstreet? - They perpetuate mechanical living, sir, they limit your mind.”

“A woman is a cathedral, boys. Worship one at every chance you get.”