Hey! Sorry, titles are not my forte.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Newborn babies all have terrible eyesight so that their brains don’t have to process as much information. Which I think is a little bit funny.

Nature was like “Look, we get it. There’s a lot of stuff out here. A lot of pores on your dad’s face. You have no idea what a hand is. Don’t worry about the pores for now. Just figure out, in general, what a hand is and then maybe we”ll pump it up to high res.”

[fivemanwaltz]

I only got a decade or so of hi-res life before my eyes were like "actually thats enough, pack it in"

[popipoyan-deactivated20240919]

hate how links change color after you click em like theyre dirty now

[alloverthegaf]

anyone else y’all got those clicky ankles

[gaiusthegenius]

Have you considered that you might be a reindeer?

[alloverthegaf]

did you just fucking know this

[catchymemes]

[vintageadvertising]

Come get your healthy dose of Kelloggs asthma cigarettes

[nerdyveganrunner]

Oh, worm?

[mrcloudyfun]

Look at what they’ve taken from us

[duendealexis]

Wasn’t iCarly that guy with the wax wings that flew into the sun and fucking got rest because same

[duendealexis]

I just realized my phone corrected Icarus to iCarly because I type iCarly more than Icarus okay thanks

[phillylesty-deactivated20180912]

I thought this was just a god tier shitpost

[konoko]

[anemonequeen-moved]

fuck this. fuck you *unasks my question*

[memewhore]

[brucebocchi]

a conversation i saw on twitter about statues worth keeping reminded me of what is easily one of my favorites.

this is outside of the university of maryland’s student union building, a bench with a statue of one of UMd’s most universally beloved alumni, jim henson, conversing with kermit. people (usually incoming freshmen) will sit down next to them and have their picture taken. it’s one of the most pure and beautiful things on this earth.

[catsbeaversandducks]

Via @korvys​ (Twitter)

[cornistasiathecoblinking]

I’m glad humans evolved to Boop the Snoot for Good Luck.

[headspace-hotel]

glowing as though holy

[yuhengwanye]

[jigglypuffsvevo]

*hides under blanket for entire day* oh wow where did all the time go

[phillip-bankss]

tumblr is great because, unlike twitter where tweets have a lifespan of 14 hours, I am going through my dash re-liking posts that I've already liked a year ago bc someone is bringing them back around

[radiofreederry]

Saw an Italian today

[radiofreederry]

[cowboydeanwinchester]

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

[cowboydeanwinchester]

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

[charaah]

Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)

Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir

[parasitoidism]

I will never again know the succulent flavor of a seatbelt

[parasitoidism]

Did anyone else do this

[parasitoidism]

Rave reviews

[boompercars]

Imagine the drama if apple added a feature that notified you if someone took a screenshot of your conversation