as superficial as this life in which we invest so much
only to have these mortal things ripped from us
as thorns on a rose stabbing into our souls
I often still think of you
and wonder how life would be
would we have finished our schooling together?
we so frequently shared thoughts
conversations never to be had again
words I can no longer bear
how would my life be different?
we had the sweetest of friendships
your soul breathed energy
breathed life
into mine
the exhilaration of knowing
my eyes would once again gaze upon your sweet face
such satisfaction
the sweetness of stolen pearsd
I may never taste again
so here I sit
writing these words
a sermon that no one will heare
tears fill my well
ink splattered in vain
and somehow you are with me
I feel you beside me
quietly guiding my hand as I write
and the satisfaction creeps back in
RE:d, red. the canvas is dripping with redf.
red from loss
red from love
for though you take away
you have given me so much
and for that I will never forget you,
the color by which you lived
red, red.
My soul is dripping with red.
“RE:d” Revealed
The true emotional inspiration behind this poem came from the loss of my brother. I happened to be reading St. Augustine’s Confessions in one of my classes at the time and the passage about the death of his childhood friend struck me right to my core. It was as though he was writing exactly what I was feeling. Thus this poem was born and served as my “creative essay” for the class. One of my favorites I’ve ever written. The following was my written explanation of my poem to the professor if you are interested:
The inspiration for this poem came from the passage in which Saint Augustine recounts his reaction to the death of his childhood friend (Confessions IV.iv.9-IV.iv.12). As I was reading this passage, the way in which Augustine described his grieving struck me as very beautiful and heartfelt and relatable. I consequently elected to write this poem from his point of view in remembering his friend.
Being a heavy topic, I wanted to truly embody Augustine’s grieving process so I accentuated this poem being stream of consciousness, hence the minimal punctuation and heavy use of stanza division. Moreover, because the structure is so unorthodox, I wanted to note some aspects of my work that I people who read the poem tended to miss:
Perhaps the most important aspect is the organization of this poem. As he remembered his friend, Augustine jumped from emotion to emotion, traveling between anger, sadness, disbelief, and so on, and I really tried to capture that emotional chaos. I decided to utilize the title to insinuate the topic of the poem, but not openly. Though the choice of the color red was fairly random (other than it being a passionate color), the spelling of the title was very deliberate. “RE:” is the prefix email subjects when replying to a message, and “d” is the first letter of “death”. In tandem, they subtly imply that this poem is Augustine’s reply or reaction to the death of his childhood friend.
Throughout the rest of the poem are various references to other myths or stories, emphasizing the worth Augustine placed upon his friend and the depth of the grief Augustine felt. In referencing King Midasa, I wanted to accentuate the value Augustine placed on all that he shared with this friend—something as valuable as gold. Moreover, in the text, Augustine paraphrases Aristotle’s statement on friendsb, making the quote an obvious choice to include in this poem (qtd by Confessions IV.iv.11). On the more somber side, I allude to the Biblical story of the floodc in reference to how Augustine felt as though his grief was replacing his friend. In doing so, I was intended to hint at the vastness of Augustine’s sorrow. The flood was on a world-wide scale: the vastness and depth that is found in that story closely mirrors the extent of the grief that Augustine was feeling (Gen 7). He got such satisfaction out of that friendship, which I later parallel to the exhilaration and satisfaction he got when he and his friends stole pears from the orchard (Confessions II.v.9).
Finally, Augustine, in my poem, takes a moment to step back and consider why he is writing what he is writing. As I thought about how his thought process, my mind immediately jumped to the lyrics from The Beatles’ song “Eleanor Rigby”e: a sermon that no one will hear,” (Lennon–McCartney). The words seem apropos, as no amount of poems or songs could ever bring back the friend whom Augustine lost. Yet at the same time, Augustine seemed to take comfort in remembering the sweetness of his friendship, which leads to the alteration of the opening phrases in the last few stanzasf. Whereas the opening line is the same each time, the words “loss” and “love” are switched, as well as “take away” and “given”. Moreover, in the final repetition of the color red, the correct spelling is used, underscoring both the passion that tends to be associated with the color red as well as the closing of the poem: Augustine is finished “replying” to the death of his friend and now just wants to be left with the happy memories he has with this person.
Do you see how amazing of an individual you are?
How beautiful, kind, talented, and naturally skilled you are?
Or do you sometimes need a little reminder of this?
I have put together a compilation of many of my quotes, each of which having a focus on self love, self acceptance, and feelings of uncontional love and care.
You can read them yourself when ever you find that you need to, or you could send them to others who need a reminder of how amazing they are.
Please, put your self esteem at good health. If you’re interested in this compilation, click here and I will magically transport you to the book on my website.
Sometimes you just need to talk about something--not to get sympathy or help, but just to kill its power by allowing the truth of things to hit the air.
The Scarecrow by Jim Mckenzie
Music Written By: Jim McKenzie, Tomi Ervi
Orchestration By: Tomi Ervi
Gallery Footage: Dave Yeaman
Resin Caster: Christopher Dumbos Cake maker: Dante Nuno of Fire And...
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