Oof...Yikes.

| He/Him |

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

do not 10k me stop that

[roaldamundsen]

give it up for bread with soup

[heroofshield]

[sandmandaddy69]

[harzilla]

Reblog to cast healing for your homies.

[lengthy-artery]

ashes to ashes, dust to dust, reeses to pieces

[hollowedskin]

And sluts to sluts.

[arsnof]

amen

[dandylion-s]

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Please never forget that ēheu, what the background chorus is repeating in Pompeii, just means ‘alas’ or ‘oh no’ or perhaps ‘shucks’ in Latin, which is of course the correct response to realizing you’re on an island where a volcano is exploding.

[shinybiromantictaco-blog]

How was I not aware of this before that is absolutely essential knowledge

[brightlotusmoon]

[learning-to-fly-on-my-own]

Wake up babe, new life-hacks just dropped

[moodymakeshifter]

It's pretty weird that I (and people in general, given the crazy number of interactions on this post) find this table entertaining. There are multiple factors that make it so. The references. The logic. The exaggerations. The sarcasm. People are so clever that they can derive joy from the content of some black sguiggles on a white background imbued with various meanings, forming a pattern.

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[bluishorange]

actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.

and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”

listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.

[yikesies-bikesies]

Limb dislocation?

How about limb ✨echolocation✨

You can find me anywhere, even in pitch darkness, by the popping sound my joints make when I move!

[yikesies-bikesies]

I know everyone gets broken up when a pet dies, but I took in a feral cat that never once let me pet her, she didn’t want cuddles, and we could never put a collar on her…

And when I say that I have never felt love for or from a creature with the same sheer volume and quality as this cat, no one would understand unless they’d met her.

She was pure joy, a shining light in the darkness of this world, and she never failed to bring the biggest smile to my face. I’ll never be able to feel the way she made me feel again, and I’m thankful that she’s passed because these last few days must have been agony for her and the end wasn’t pretty either, but Jesus Fuck I would do anything to see her sitting outside the door right now, begging for food like she did all those years ago.

She’s happier and safer and healthier now I hope, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on with my life. I’m terrified to go to sleep because if I wake up tomorrow having forgotten that she’s gone, I don’t think I can handle the realization.

I want her back, Fuck, I just want to look into the kitchen and see her laying there sleeping or waiting for me to fill her bowl. I always thought I’d be okay with her passing because of the distance between us, but every second is agony knowing that I’m never gonna get to see her sweet sweet face again. I’ve never cried so much, not even for the dog I’d had since I was 2 years old.

This stupid beautiful perfect little fat baby cat was the best friend I didn’t know I fuckin had and I couldn’t even tell her that because every time I open my mouth I burst into tears. I never cry, but I can’t stop because every time I think about her I’m hit like a ton of bricks by the fact that I’m never gonna hear her meow again or see her tail stick straight up in the air as she waddles around.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I just had to write this down somewhere where someone might see it and know that there was a light snuffed out today that brightened a whole house for 5 years and should’ve been able to do so for eternity.

Grubby, you deserved the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you, but I love you so fucking much it hurts, and I don’t believe in heaven, but more than anything, I hope some day I will see you again, my darling, darling perfect girl.

I’ll probably delete this eventually.

[yikesies-bikesies]

Today we got a new kitten. It was a lucky chance encounter that just lined up and he’s perfect, so sweet and gentle and adorable. He will never fill the Grubb-sized hole in my heart, but he can mend it a little. The house is lit up again for the first time since Grubb’s death and everyone is full of smiles. I hope he’s with us a long time, but I also got magnets of Grubb to put up where I can always say hi to her in her favorite places.

It’s getting easier, Pember makes it easier. I just hope our other cat will find it in her heart to enjoy her new friend, but she’s taking Grubb’s loss just as hard as everyone else. I’m sure she’ll warm up to him though.

[yikesies-bikesies]

I know everyone gets broken up when a pet dies, but I took in a feral cat that never once let me pet her, she didn’t want cuddles, and we could never put a collar on her…

And when I say that I have never felt love for or from a creature with the same sheer volume and quality as this cat, no one would understand unless they’d met her.

She was pure joy, a shining light in the darkness of this world, and she never failed to bring the biggest smile to my face. I’ll never be able to feel the way she made me feel again, and I’m thankful that she’s passed because these last few days must have been agony for her and the end wasn’t pretty either, but Jesus Fuck I would do anything to see her sitting outside the door right now, begging for food like she did all those years ago.

She’s happier and safer and healthier now I hope, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on with my life. I’m terrified to go to sleep because if I wake up tomorrow having forgotten that she’s gone, I don’t think I can handle the realization.

I want her back, Fuck, I just want to look into the kitchen and see her laying there sleeping or waiting for me to fill her bowl. I always thought I’d be okay with her passing because of the distance between us, but every second is agony knowing that I’m never gonna get to see her sweet sweet face again. I’ve never cried so much, not even for the dog I’d had since I was 2 years old.

This stupid beautiful perfect little fat baby cat was the best friend I didn’t know I fuckin had and I couldn’t even tell her that because every time I open my mouth I burst into tears. I never cry, but I can’t stop because every time I think about her I’m hit like a ton of bricks by the fact that I’m never gonna hear her meow again or see her tail stick straight up in the air as she waddles around.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I just had to write this down somewhere where someone might see it and know that there was a light snuffed out today that brightened a whole house for 5 years and should’ve been able to do so for eternity.

Grubby, you deserved the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you, but I love you so fucking much it hurts, and I don’t believe in heaven, but more than anything, I hope some day I will see you again, my darling, darling perfect girl.

I’ll probably delete this eventually.

[yikesies-bikesies]

I just watched Bros the other day and honestly I loved it so much. I usually can’t sit through rom-coms because they’re so over the top, but this was perfect. I loved the queer culture and humor and I love that the whole movie really was a big rom-com stereotype but through a queer lens because I feel like as queer people we don’t get those kinds of movies unless the ending is really sad or something like that. Queer movies always torture the characters for some reason and I hate that, or the entire movie is basically soft porn which I also hate. This movie felt like a straight rom-com where it was fun, sweet, and a little sexy and the comedy was really on point for me. I don’t think it’s for everyone, a lot of people just wouldn’t get any of it, but I loved it and so did my mom. I even geared up a bit and I’m not a big crier when it comes to movies that aren’t intentionally depressing.

I wasn’t even going to watch it because I didn’t like the trailers, but I gave it a chance and I think other people should too. I really loved it and I really, really loved the song at the end. It was the perfect amount of sweetness and cheese and I didn’t once find myself cringing hard and needing to leave the room or something out of secondhand embarrassment which I do with a lot of movies, especially comedies.

Go watch it. It’s really great.

[yikesies-bikesies]

As a queer afab nonbinary person trans man I’ve discovered an unexpected benefit. I looked up “women’s” underwear once or twice because sometimes I wear once upon a time I wore a bra, so I only buy one every blue moon or so, BUT

Thanks to ✨targeted ads✨ I now get nothing but ads for “women’s” lingerie. Typically plus size lingerie too.

Allow me to tell you- I am not mad. I’m not mad. I’m sure as hell not buying expensive lingerie, but I’m also definitely not mad.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

had a dream last night where marbles were back en vogue and everyone carried their marbles around in cute little pouches that they'd clip onto their backpacks or purse straps or belt loops so they'd always have their marbles on them and your marbles were deeply personal objects that showcased your individual personality and people would get really passionate and proud of them and playing for keeps was a deeply serious and honor-bound affair and i played a game with an old man while waiting for a bus and he told me how he met his wife while playing in a for-keeps tournament and in a miracle shot he knocked out her most precious marble a brilliant sparkling green one with an inside like a geode and when he looked up he found she was crying at its loss and so right there on the spot he proposed to her so that she could divorce him and take it back in the divorce "but in the end," he told me, "she kept me and the marble" and i awoke teary and resentful to be ripped from a fleeting world that had found for itself such a small and beautiful peace

[tricktster]

it’s so hot here that last night i discovered my trader joe’s chocolate wedges, one of which was meant to be my cheeky before bed treat, had fully liquified

in their normal form, they look like this

alas i thought to myself, setting the small round circular tin down on the far side of the bedside table. none of this for me this tonight, i thought, applying my nightly coat of working hands hand cream

in its normal form it looks like this

i woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom. had to wash my hands obviously. had to moisturize them afterwards, in the dark, too.

needless to say, the first thing I appreciated when it was, at last, bright enough to see this morning was an

absolute

fucking

calamity.

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[chefpyro]

i’m having a stroke

[notreblogs]

can somebody caption this for me

[magearna]

I wish my father was here! *LA CUCARACHA!* *SCrrEEEEEECH* *COWBOY MUSIC* HELLOOoO Soss! Timmy Turner, my name is Dougsdale Dimmadale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdaledimmadome! Thank you for locating my long-lost son Dale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome, heir to the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdougsdaledimmadome fortune! If there’s anything I can ever do to repay you for your kindness, all you need to do is ask!!! Doug Dimmadome? The owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? Not right. Not right? That’s right. Doug Dougmadomedimmadimmadomedimmsdaledomedaledimmsdodimmdougdodimmadomedimmadomedimmadomedimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmadimmadimmadimmsdaledimmadome. The same Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, where they’re showing Crash Nebula? On ice? Yeah! Not right. Not right?! That’s right. Timmy Turner, my name is Timmy Dimmadoodimmadome owner of the *SOUND OF COMPUTER DYING* Then you can get me three tickets to s– Not right! !O L L E H *hcEeeeEERrrCS* *!AHCARACUC AL LA CUCARACHA!* *LIMO REPEATEDLY PULLS UP AND PULLS AWAY* I wish my father was here! *Freezeframe, grayscale* CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLINGGG INNNNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOUUUUNNDS THEY WIIIIILL…………….

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

just so you know this transscript is in fact actually 100% accurate

[loloftheday]

Thoughts?

[sluttyfranzkafka]

Are we flesh or blood? You buffoon. You clown. You absolute candlestick.