Love life is not at his best. Ok, to be truly honest it has rarely been at its best, but normally, generally, when the world does not goes round and round; you had a thousands boyfriends, and a hundreds flirts. You were keeping your friends busy, trying to make them aware of the possibilities you had at your feet, and trying to make them feel lost the next day when new names were thrown at them. Normally, in a simple world, you had fake fantasies about winters in Italy and summer lakes romances. You had dark rooms encounters and clubs kisses. You had metro numbers and songwriters following you under the rain, in Paris. But currently; youâre seeing that one guy; he is sweet, he is nice but you donât even know what this really is. and he seems to live in a world as small as your head. Truly said? You have no one !
Work life is not at its peak. You went from a safe income to a very irregular one, but you always got some gigs and you always felt grateful. A little stunned even. You donât even know yourself how you made that happen. Perhaps you were smiling more. Perhaps the stars were aligned in your favours. Or you used the last bit of your lucky pot. Now? You donât even want to be asked what you do for a living. Part artist, part dilettante, you wonder if job seeker can actually be a title ? De Job Seeker, perhaps? Van Job Seeking⌠Lately, you sent over hundreds of applications, but they all came back unsuccessful. Maybe because, you mentioned your heartaches. -True romantic seek work- is potentially not the best headline for a job position.
Social life? Well, this is still more or less the one thing you have going for you. More or less, because you obviously spend, way more time with your housemate and your bestie (and that beautiful sweet boy) than you do with all your other friends. They are either busy, or you are just not rich enough to make a move. You are conscious of your own wrong-doings and donât know how to shake things up. You just paid the rent on time, how could you afford to meet up for drinks; seriously ⌠You go around avoiding emails, and only use social platforms to promote your art and or to help a friend in need. To put people together, hoping no one will ask about you in the process.
The rest is just a little blurry. It is a little like living on a foggy island. You see, at times, the other shore, but mostly you just know it is there, behind the clouds. You have lost the timetable of the ferries, and when you hear it approaching, it is way too late to find your pennies and run to get onboard. You always reach the quays as the ferry pulls into the waters. You see it leaving before it disappears into the mist of the small pound you now live on. Your island is not that big, you could probably go around in two hours or so ⌠And you ponder on a walk. But you are exhausted from your race and drag your tired soul back home. It starts to pour. And you just know how the day will end. Youâll be in bed cursing about internet and the devils it hosts. You will drag your eyes till three oâclock to watch unsatisfying crap as you dream awake of starring in one of them. And you fall asleep, to wake up with even less energy the next dayâŚ
This is your life at the moment. And you feel ashamed for wasting your energies and strength in such mundane things. But this is the reality and you would rather face it than stay on that island a day longer. All you want to do is to unstuck yourself.
You want to smiles to strangers again, you want to drink coffee under the sun, you want to stand on the other shore; so you can help others getting out of their islands. You want to go running and feel the wind under your face. You want to be successful for yourself. And you want to feel satisfy. You want to be the old version of you. The one you celebrated with, for thirties years or so. The young adventurous being you used to be. You want to walk naked because you are that strong! You want to walk to the ferry and not run after it. You want to be at peace with the world around you but especially yourself.
But until you can get there; here are a couple of things to remember: you can let other smiles to you for a while. This is also nice to receive. You can drink tea under the rain, or a hot chocolate under the snow. This is totally acceptable ! You can stand on your shore, firmly, and get to go on a walk around the island. You may find flowers and trees prettier than the ones on the other shore. You are already successful, way more than you think. Did you not say that you paid the rent on time ? Did you not said that through this ordeal, you still live on earth ? You are already strong, for battling all these battles, one at a time and not going crazy. You are no longer the old you, but have a look at the new you instead ! He is, I am sure, as fantastic as the old version of yourself. They inhabit the same body, they surely can not be that different... WALK NAKED - in your room perhaps !! But walk naked, because you are that strong. And let the breeze caress your skin, for it needs to feel alive. Feel the salt, the humidity and the clouds vaporising around you. And donât worry about the ferry. It will be back again. And be at peace, for I like you! Be at peace with yourself, for you like yourself too !
Now go along, carry on living, so you can unstuck yourself !