Guns Make You Stupid

My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy until I was burned.. When you're burned, you're blacklisted. You've got nothing. No cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. Point is, until you figure out who burned you, you're not going anywhere. Have a problem you can't get out of? The sort the police won't listen to, or can't help you with? Get in contact with me. You're not alone. I can help. Tracking: yogurtandducttape

[yogurtandducttape]

Mom needs me to run her laptop to her work, I’ll be back in a bit!

[dexdites-deactivated20160107]

           “Scuse’ me – sir, are you Mr. Westen?”

It’s a nervous question from a nervous young man. Miami was a terribly unfamiliar place to be, and this shaddy looking, almost-hidden apartment wasn’t helping his nerves.

[yogurtandducttape]

Well that was... different. He swore to god, if this were some long-lost child of Sam’s, he was going to make Sam buy him so many yogurts fo having to deal with this. He had enough of his own problems.

             “I assume you already know that if you found my loft.”

[cinnamonral]

Make my muse blush in 10 words or less. 

[yogurtandducttape]

// Oh my god, my dog walked across my keyboard and tumblr had a freakout and blocked like 10 people. If you’re one of them, I apologise, I tried to fix it.

[angstmemes]

unknown number texts

send me one of the following on anon (or not!) for my muse’s reaction:

[text] I spy with my little eye someone who looks very good in that underwear… [text] I know what you did last summer. [text] Roses are red, violets are blue, you don’t know me, but I do know you. [text] You think you’re safe now you’re tucked away under your blankets, but I can see you. [text] I’ve got your keys. [text] Don’t move, you look beautiful in these pictures I’m taking. [text] I’m sorry if I left your kitchen in a state, I had to rush out when I saw you were home early… Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow to clean it up. [text] I’m sorry if I disturbed your sleep last night, I just really wanted to see you up close. [text] How are you feeling? I might have put something in your toothpaste… [text] Unless you want the whole internet to see you naked, you better do as I tell you. [text] Don’t worry, your child/pet is safe with me… [text] How are you doing today, dear? Isn’t it a wonderful day to die? [text] Humans are such easy prey, don’t you think? [text] R.I.P. [text] You thought you had it badly as a child? Just wait until I get my hands on you. [text] Are you ready to play? [text] There’s something under your bed… Or should I say, someone? [text] I’m your number one fan.

[mxveableprisxn-blog]

“Just because we’ve never met, doesn’t mean that I can’t pass judgement.  I’m also a good observer, for what it’s worth.”    “But back to the gun.  I hope those bullets aren’t meant for me.”

[yogurtandducttape]

“Funny that you see a man with a gun and immediately worry that its bullets might be for you. Should they be?”

          This was an interesting game they were playing,           this sort of verbal cat and mouse... Question was           who was the can and who the mouse?

[i-am-made-of-stars]

“I’m looking to keep innocent people safe,” she said severely, eyes still on him. “Are you?”

[yogurtandducttape]

“I’m not sure you’d believe me even if I said yes.” Even if i was true. People didn’t tend to trust random strangers with guns.

[yogurtandducttape]

Off to work! Be back later.

[ofboxxxes-deactivated20150713]

 With a gesture to the barman, Lady preened under the knowledge that she’d have some company. Either ignoring or simply not noticing his suspicious gaze, she turned in her stool and smiled.

  “So, what’s got that grumpy face going?”

[yogurtandducttape]

Well, he couldn’t exactly tell her that he was grumpy because not an hour ago he’d been grazed by a bullet and had it stitched up by a very patronizing mother. So instead, he turned his smile sheepish.

“Oh, you know. It doesn’t matter how old I am, my mom has a way of making me feel like I’m fie years old.”

[ofboxxxes-deactivated20150713]

 Lady leaned over, nudging the arm of the person beside her with her elbow. “You look like you’re having one of those days, buy you a drink?”

[yogurtandducttape]

Suspicion probably wasn’t the best way to meet such an offer, but could anyone blame him? Most people that spoke to Michael were either trying to hire him for dangerous work, trying to gather information on him, blackmail him, or kill him. He lifted an eyebrow, watching her carefully before offering a false smile, “Sure; I’ll have a beer.”

[calumsbasspick]

Reblog if LGBT+ members have a safe place on your blog

*presses reblog button violently*

[bardilfula]

OF FUCKING COURSE 

[angstmemes]

Reblog if your muse can speak more than one language.

[rpsituations-blog]

Your muse walks in on my muse undressing and catches the various scars along their body. What is your muses reaction? What do they do?

[soullessbobbysinger]

“I know you know John was involved in some strange stuff.  Well, some of that strange stuff, is out to get you, an’ they happened to try an’ sideline me.”  Bobby relaxed against the wall, leaning hard so he could breathe.  “A couple of ‘em tried to get through me. to get to you.”

[yogurtandducttape]

   [ ℳ𝓦 ]     Involved in some strange stuff was putting it lightly. Michael didn’t know th exact details of the man’s work, but he knew that there were times he sounded insane. A brow lifted as he considered the man in front of him. “Why would they be after me?” THat was great, just what he needed. More people after him.

[mxveableprisxn-blog]

“Am I really supposed to believe that?

Lies do not become you -

        At least not such poorly constructed ones.

[yogurtandducttape]

“And how do you know what becomes me? Last I checked, we’ve never met before.”

[i-am-made-of-stars]

“Hard, not impossible.” And Emily had blinked.  “But I bet I could find it, if I looked. And you  don’t want me uncovering a gun in the middle  of a public place, do you?”

[yogurtandducttape]

The false smile fell away from his expression and he watched her carefully. “And what exactly are you looking for?”

[triggerhappyexgirlfriend-archive]

“When have we ever done things the traditional way? I promise I’ll act surprised.”

[yogurtandducttape]

“No. It’s actually going to be a surprise this year. I thought you wanted me to try and be romantic.”