still on my wishlist that more people talked about steven in future as a motivated character; someone with goals, a person who feels the need to fix people and be a Good Boy, and how people no longer needing him makes him feel lost and purposeless in life.
unfortunately, some still treat him like a relatively simple and generic ptsd metaphor, where all his behavior is “just because mental illness.” i see too many people act like he can only be analyzed in terms of being a gritty exploration of what would happen to a protagonist after the battle is over… but not as a motivated character acting on the same motivations he’s had for years, thus subverting the positive connotations of being “selfless” and “heroic.”
here’s the thing - he’s both. he’s mentally ill and still himself. he’s not anyone with ptsd (though i’m sure many can relate), he’s STEVEN with ptsd. and mentally ill people are always more than their mental problems.
i think a lot of his issues boil down to not just ptsd, but an addiction to being seen as a good person. he’s always been surrounded by people who needed help, and bonded with them by helping. he’s always had anxiety surrounding being a gem who never had a purpose (unlike all other gems). he had to give his own life meaning, and a lot of that did revolve around conflict - proving himself as a real person separate from his mom, and healing those around him… but now, that purpose (much like every other gem’s) is finished, in the age of era 3.
a huge point is this is forcing him to live a life without being “useful” to others anymore. usefulness is the only way he’s conceptualized himself as someone worthy of love. he based his self-image on being useful to others. he based his relationships on being able to help people. they don’t need help now. uh oh.
like. the mental illness stuff is important! but steven is still a specific character with goals, motivations, ideology, etc. he’s the embodiment of several forces - everyone around him, and how he’s processed his role in life as a gem. all gems have a “purpose,” and he’s sought his for as long as he’s existed.
people interacting with him is key, because the idea of support systems is crucial in all recovery arcs in SU. people have tried to lead him towards and away from that mindset in different ways. it’s broken him, and their love puts him back together.
he thought his support system was dependant on how he could help others. on being good, selfless, “useful” as a gem. that’s why knowing his support system IS unconditional, that he’s worthy of their love regardless of being a good person could ONLY happen if they saw him at his worst and still accepted him. that’s what it took.
that, and talking about how sometimes there’s no “other” to fight, the only monster you can fight is yourself, don’t put ANYONE on a pedestal, is just as important to me as the outright discussion of ptsd and trauma. i’ve been affected by both, and i relate to both - because your conception of yourself and your mental illness, while distinct, often feed into each other.
the need to be useful, needed, have a purpose, even be Perfect or Above the flaws of others can create panic when you fail to meet your own expectations, setting yourself up with a messiah complex. this can make your symptoms worse, lose your sense of self, feel like you are nothing but a burden, “identify yourself” with that mental struggle without a positive identity to cling to outside it, leading to the ugly coping mechanisms that we see.
steven is a very specific portrayal of how some people cope with trauma in unhealthy ways. he represents how gemkind and humankind alike seek purpose and feel like they don’t deserve to exist if they aren’t selfless or useful enough AND how ptsd is worsened when you perceive that your support system is falling apart. steven is all of that combined.
janainaart
stormborns
germansingergirl
jbbartram-illu
kianamaiart
izzy806
snowghoul
