okay this is so fucking long because i love karasuno so much i’d get up to a million antics with them
how you ended up living with them:
you were probably friends with the entire volleyball team in high school since you were one of the three (cute) managers so when they all suggested living together you were like ‘sure why not? how bad could it be?’
honestly this is so unrealistic but we’re enjoying ourselves aren’t we?
since there are so many of you in one single house there are probably like 3 to 4 people in a single room
the original room arrangement was that the first-years and second-years would be in separate rooms but ennoshita was like ‘no way are you putting me in the same room as noya and tanaka i will die’
so you, ennoshita, yamaguchi, and tsukishima are all in another room (the second-most peaceful room in the house)
daichi, sugawara, and asahi are all together in another room because they’re pretty tight
and hinata, kageyama, along with tanaka and noya share twin bunk beds in the fourth room
now let’s get into living with this chaotic bunch:
daichi is undoubtedly the head of household. at first he didn’t want to have to manage that on top of everything else but one night he was making a chart for chores (along with small stickers of everyone’s faces) and finally accepted that he was in charge of the house
he’s def the type to manipulate the chore chart just a little bit. if tanaka or noya managed to piss him off, daichi will just slide their face under ‘dish duty’ and they’re none the wiser
at first he feels terrible but then tanaka and noya accidentally break a window and daichi just thinks that maybe authoritarianism isn’t so bad after all
jk guys authoritarianism is bad down with the government
you, on the other hand, know very well what daichi is doing but instead of tattling you just appeal to his good side and before you know it, you haven’t done any chores for an entire year
ASAHI IS THE TYPE OF HOUSEMATE TO BRING YOU UP A PLATE OF SLICED FRUIT WITHOUT EVEN ASKING AHHH
when the clock hits four, its cut fruit time and there are different fruits for every day and asahi just brings up plates of nice cut fruit for everyone
you kind of wonder if asahi ever gets tired of slicing fruit for EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE until you see him split open a pineapple with his bare hands
also he has such a huge closet but if you want a snazzy outfit all you have to do is knock on his shared room and he’ll whip one up for you
okay you guys are probably thinking that sugawara is the mom of the household but unfortunately he is a gemini and therefore even satan fears him
suga’s the one who cooks for everyone but when he’s in the kitchen you had better stay away because he gets intTENSE. he probably uses this big ass knife
potholders? suga doesn’t know her. he uses his bare hands to get trays and stuff out of the oven. just watching him cook stresses you out so nobody watches him cook
but his cuisine is exquisite nobody has complaints
i feel like their room probably has a fuck ton of snacks with asahi’s fruit-cutting, suga’s cooking skills and i bet daichi has a stash of snacks that he keeps from noya and tanaka (it’s under his mattress, that’s why his back hurts)
you, ennoshita, tsukishima, and yamaguchi have by far the cleanest room though (just slightly cleaner than the third-years’ room because they have snack wrappers) and your roommates are all workaholics
your room is pretty much ‘bookshelves and studyblr aesthetic’ except for ennoshita’s CPR doll that stays in a corner of the room looking creepy and out of place but you don’t have a closet to put it in
yamaguchi swears that it’s haunted because it changes positions every time he wakes up in the morning and he keeps trying to convince his roommates about it
little does he know tsukki and ennoshita like to move the CPR doll around to scare him because they’re like that
tbh you are not a fan of the CPR doll either but that doesn’t mean you won’t play with it by dressing it up
these three are such workaholics that there’s literally only one person asleep there at a time and you like studying there because of the Intense Productive Energy
they even have their own espresso machine and a minifridge full of Red Bull
tsukki is the best at waking you up he’ll literally grip your shoulders and shake you or spray you with water
you can tell he enjoys it and you hate it so much but it does get your papers going
the one thing about this group is that they forget this little thing called ‘self-care’ because they work all the time (well except for yamaguchi who knows how to put on a sheet mask once in a while)
that means you’ll sometimes be knocking on their door with some of asahi’s Sliced Fruit or some instant ramen you whipped up yourself
ennoshita also has a habit of passing out in random places so it takes you and yamaguchi to haul him up to his bed
you also use this opportunity to tuck in his CPR doll next to him in bed because why not?
the chaotic, noisy members of the household are all relegated to one room for the good of the entire house and its downstairs where the walls are thick
these guys are the bunk-bed sharing kind of people but they kind of just switch beds depending on how they feel like it
tanaka: hey dude, is it ok if i top for tonight?
noya: oh yeah sure! no problem!
suga: they’re talking about bunk beds
hinata and kageyama like to play video games during their breaks but they only have one game and that’s Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3
i have an obsession with naruto don’t @ me
that’s because they bought a playstation on craigslist and it came with one game and that was it
you like to play with them when you’re taking a break and kageyama’s always the one who loses and he gets so frustrated with himself that you let him win at times just so he feels good
hinata always uses hinata when he plays but he’s also the type to elbow kageyama or purposely swerve a hand in your face when he’s playing
even though sugamama is in charge of the kitchen, noya and hinata do like to experiment with cooking from time to time and if daichi is in a good mood he’ll indulge them
they’ll even rope you in on their shenanigans and pretty soon you’re making a casserole out of pepperoni and cheetos just in time for sugawara to come in and see what happened to his kitchen
it usually ends with all of you guys just ordering pizza and you having to clean the kitchen with noya and hinata
house incident: ennoshita’s CPR doll that ACTUALLY MIGHT be haunted
okay i know that i already wrote about ennoshita’s cpr doll being not haunted and that tsukki and ennoshita just like to mess with it but IMAGINE IT ACTUALLY BEING HAUNTED
it starts out with yamaguchi getting mad at tsukki or ennoshita for putting the cpr doll in his bed while he was asleep and they were both like ‘no seriously we didn’t do it’
and you could vouch for them because you were the last one to fall asleep in your room and the CPR doll was way in ennoshita’s side of the room (yamaguchi believes you cause you’re the only person he trusts in the room)
you and yamaguchi begin to think that something strange is going on and like ‘is it just me or are those dead, plastic eyes somehow following my every move?’
it gets to the point that you have to turn the plastic doll around the face the wall when you’re studying
and then, you begin to notice that the doll is nearer to your bed when you wake up in the morning and again, neither tsukishima nor ennoshita touched it
because of this you now stay over at daichi, asahi, and sugawara’s room because you’re so creeped out by the doll and also because they have snacks
and then an Incident happens wherein noya and tanaka, who are both doing a first-aid class, decide to secretly use the doll while no one is around at home
although noya and tanaka trying to practice cpr by themselves is hilarious
just visualize tanaka trying to administer cpr while dueting ‘staying alive’ with noya
they both take a break and turn away from the doll for one second only to see it standing upright when they turn right back
tanaka: that doll just moved on its own, right?
that’s when you and yamaguchi come home and see the cpr doll with tanaka and noya looking very afraid
you: the doll’s haunted isn’t it?
daichi comes home to the four of you trying to dispose of the doll by fitting it into a box and gets mad at everyone because you can’t just do that to ennoshita’s stuff
but then he sees all of you looking clearly in distress and decides to call for a house meeting about ennoshita’s haunted doll
asahi brings sliced fruit
tsukishima and kageyama very firmly talk about how it’s not possible which is weird because it’s something they agree on for once
daichi: well, where did you get this doll, ennoshita?
ennoshita: i got it for cheap at an old antique store. the owner was super intent to get rid of it so i bought it
you, tanaka, yamaguchi, and noya: 👁👄👁
daichi: even i don’t believe in ghosts but damn ennoshita what were you thinking?
and then sugawara who has been eerily quiet this entire time brings out a ouija board and goes ‘LET’S EXORCISE THIS BITCH’
a few minutes later you all are set up in the living room with candles, the ouija board, and the cpr doll
tsukishima’s just there to livestream everything (STORYTIME: my dumb housemates think this doll is haunted)
you, sugawara, and hinata are in charge of the seance (hinata ironically drew the shortest straw and was forced to participate)
sugawara: spirit of the cpr doll, what is your name?
the triangle piece on the board starts moving, you are looking at your friends in shock, asahi has fainted. the triangle piece stops at the word ‘yes’
you: oh my god this ghost is an idiot
daichi: all in favor of getting rid of this doll?
everyone except ennoshita raises their hands
sugawara is already on the phone with the current owners of the warren museum
you: why do you have their number memorized?
the cpr doll is picked up the next day. kageyama pokes at the doll and goes ‘you’re just a doll, cpr doll. you can’t do anything’. asahi feels sorry that it’s gonna be displayed naked in the museum and gives the doll a little fedora hat
also ennoshita is compensated for the doll and now has enough money to buy AN ACTUAL, LEGIT CPR DOLL from AN ACTUAL, LEGIT CPR DOLL FACTORY
you and yamaguchi still hate it
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