kid a

[meanplastic]

I think cooking is my calling 😋❤️🍴

[cheypowells]

Well hang up

[990000]

source

[grossgiirl-deactivated20200228]

This is how I used to teach a couple of students how to create vehicles or weird creatures when they had trouble coming up with ideas

[forestwater87]

Hey internet, can we make this happen?

So my mom works at a church. Actually, she works somewhere that is located in a church, but close enough for government work. It’s not important. Anyway, they had an artist gallery, because sometimes churches do that; it’s a whole “supporting local artists” thing, and it’s pretty standard. 

What is very not standard is the artist they happened to host this week.

Susan B. Hale is a musician and painter in the Upstate NY region. (For people wondering where that is: it’s all the not-NYC part. There’s actually an entire state attached to the city, like a big, slightly-racist wart. I’m getting off track.)

Susan’s art is fairly standard, lovely oil-on-canvas Impressionist stuff. Mostly flowers –

– some pretty landscapes –

– some weird abstract shit –

Pretty stuff. If I had anything resembling disposable income, I’d wanna buy some of this stuff, because it’s gorgeous.

You know what else she paints, sometimes?

BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS

BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS FROLICKING WITH FLOWERS

BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS NOSHING ON HUMAN SKULLS IN A BLACK VOID-LIKE HELLSCAPE

BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS ON BIG FUCKING CANVASES PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH DEAD FLOATING LADIES BY PICTURESQUE PONDS HOW ARE YOU NOT DELIGHTED BY THIS

Obviously, my immediate reaction was to seek this woman out and find her all of the money. But while I did absolutely spend two hours looking up who she was and then emailing her, she doesn’t appear to have an Etsy – or any online store at all. She has virtually no digital presence, and not much of a reputation offline either.

And this is tragic.

Because let’s be real: this woman should be a fucking internet star. She paints lovely scenes of tranquility and fills them with T-Rexes for no apparent reason, other than that she thinks they’re rad. There’s an alternate reality in which she’s a Tumblr legend, and I want to live in that reality.

So here’s the thing. I know I’m not a Big Tumblr Person. I have virtually no clout in things like this, and the odds of anyone seeing this post are kinda limited. But I also want this woman to be so inundated with requests for awesome dino paintings that she has no choice but to open up an online store. I want my home and those of everyone I know to be filled with humungous, lush oils of morbid hilarious dinosaur beauty, like if Monet spent a glorious weekend binging all of Jurassic Park while also on a cocaine bender.

Reblog this. Email her telling her how great you think she is and how much you wish she had an amazon site or whatever. Consider supporting her, if you have some money and love dinosaurs. Boost the shit out of this, because even if she doesn’t get a single dime, her artwork makes me smile and I want to at least share the happy with others, and maybe bounce some of it back to her.

I am not sorry for the length of this post. You got pretty flowers and fucking dinos and you are welcome for it.

[pleasespellchimerical]

@systlin Yooo can you help boost this?

Anyway this is the best thing since sliced bread. I am delighted, /delighted/ I say, by impressionist dinosaurs.

[systlin]

OH MY GODS

[kazuhira-mezz]

So this kid fell asleep during class and he’s still there after school so we decided to play a prank on him

[nirukama-deactivated20151017]

but what happened when he woke up

[czarasaurous]

quick story once my English teacher had a slightly off and very religious borderline radical Christian student that fell asleep during class once, and there was one atheist girl in the class

so when he fell asleep, all the students except the atheist left their backpacks and jackets on their chairs and left the room

and the kid woke up and started to panic, looked over and saw the atheist girl reading a book, still in the classroom

she turned the page, returned his glance, and said “Hey.”

and the kid freaked the fuck out because he sincerely thought he missed the rapture

[schizoauthoress]

Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about “a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed” in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract.  And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn’t read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff.

So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety.

[darkfrog24]

I heard about this on Freakonomics Radio.  Turns out the bit about no brown M&Ms is HUGE, in BIG font, bold, underlined and quotated like they’re on the Group W Bench.

The band was all, “We have fifty-pound lights hanging over our heads and fire being shot out of cannons.  We had to know whether they read our safety regs so we didn’t flamebroil any roadies.”

[gobbochune-deactivated20241018]

interesting how this has become a meme in the music industry about divas. i’ve always heard jokes that amount to “this stuck up celebrity hates the green gummy bears!! they’re refusing to perform just for that???” and its reading stuff like this that i realise how that joke might have come about. people get grumpy that the band refuses to play but cant admit its because THEY’RE incompetent, so they make it all about the M&Ms. another example of artists using a creative method to ensure they have a perfectly reasonable request fulfilled that is then bastardised by lazy people who wanna make money off them. 

[thesylverlining]

…this is like the music industry version of hearing the truth behind the McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit

[fluffmugger]

This also gets used against unions quite a bit. I’ve legit had mates lay down tools and refuse to work on a job site because of the “wrong sort of biscuit” offered during morning tea.

The clause about the biscuits was in the middle of a section detailing the clients responsibilities with safety precautions and notifications regarding fucking asbestos on site.

[mapsontheweb]

Exaggerated Relief Map of Madagascar - into southeast Africa - at night.

[abandonedandurbex]

Unmaintained portion of the Great Wall of China slowly being reclaimed by the Gobi Desert [864 x 648]

[currentsinbiology]

Scott Kelly Spent a Year in Space, and Now He Has Different DNA Than His Identical Twin Brother

After a year aboard the International Space Station, Scott Kelly is a different man. For starters, he may not have the same DNA as his identical twin brother anymore.

Scott and Mark Kelly are identical twin brothers — at least, they were until Scott spent a year living in space.

When Scott Kelly returned to Earth after a 340-day voyage aboard the International Space Station (ISS) two years ago, he was 2 inches taller than he’d been when he left. His body mass had decreased, his gut bacteria were completely different, and — according to preliminary findings from NASA researchers — his genetic code had changed significantly. (Interestingly, Scott Kelly has since shrunk back down to his initial prespaceflight height.)

A new NASA statement suggests the physical and mental stresses of Scott Kelly’s year in orbit may have activated hundreds of “space genes” that altered the astronaut’s immune system, bone formation, eyesight and other bodily processes. While most of these genetic changes reverted to normal following Scott Kelly’s return to Earth, about 7 percent of the astronaut’s genetic code remained altered — and it may stay that way permanently.

[kiefbowl]

this is that freaky shit I’m talking about!!!!!!!!!!

[fuckyeahwomenprotesting]

are we sure it’s Scott Kelly that came back tho

[astoralexander]

I call this set… “Noir Princesses”.

PRINTS HERE… https://bit.ly/2NqqOX7

[thehappysorceress]

OH. MY GOSH.

I love them so much! And probably need each and every one.

[starline]

!!!!!!!!!!

[camwyn]

@seananmcguire

[lilsugarbush]

[bouserthedog]

0.75 seconds to get that, new record. 

[summerdutkowsky]

Incorrect Good Place Quotes: 8/?

[catchymemes]

Top five

[asexualjournal]

Remember that aces can be sex-repulsed personally, yet sex-positive generally. We can be repulsed by sex and want nothing to do with it in our lives, but still support sex-positivity.

[indicaxdreams-deactivated202301]

So last night I was pretty high and thought lol ima draw a happy lil face in this banana cus why the fuck not

I CAME DOWNSTAIRS THIS MORNING AND NEARLY PISSED MYSELF

[talesfromyourlocalcashier]

When you start your job vs when you leave it.

[scientificphilosopher]

A Two-Year-Old’s Solution to the Trolley Problem

[x]

[gazoinks-deactivated20170705]

Philosophy: Solved

[nottmythical]

I’ve never laughed so hard 

[backstagestitches]

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

[rikuzegram]

First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it.

Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL

[thedevilsofficialblog]

NEWS PIG

[hogwartsconsultingtimelady]

We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.”

[glizzygaymer]

I chuckling so hard rn

[fluffmugger]

N E W S  P I G

[glitterpen1s-deactivated2013012]

you know that feeling when you’re on your period and you take a shower and you feel so clean and relieved and nice but then as soon as you turn the water off it’s a race against you, gravity and time

[cant-adult-will-fandom-for-free]

I swear the last line made it feel like the plotline of an action film

[nathaniels-otps-deactivated2017]

It is a period drama