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It's been forever. Konner turned 8 on Sunday. Since I really leaned in to this community while I was pregnant with him I feel like I should say I made it. I successfully raised my baby to an 8 year old. 😭 He's so smart, caring, funny, sweet, organized, and just my little best friend. He's the best big brother and keeps us all on track. We've been homeschooling for the last year and he's done amazing with the transition. We don't miss everyday school at all. I'm proud of him and everything he's learning. Kyzen and Kaze are amazing as well. Ky is 4.5 and Kaze just turned 7 months. He started crawling on Monday. Everyone is doing so well. Karsen has started back to work so he is busy non stop and I'm just killing it at being a stay at home mommy. We got konner a trampoline for his birthday and all 3 of them love it. We're looking forward to an exciting summer. Kars and I are better than ever and we are planning a vow renewal this fall. We'll celebrate 11 years married in July and 15 years together in September. My mother in law will have her house finished this summer so I thought a vow renewal with just our immediate family at her new house right on the river will be perfect. All I care about is us and the boys seeing us repromise forever to each other.

My sweet baby boy made it on August 31st 5lb 14oz of pure love. I'm still in the newborn love bubble. We are obsessed with him.

The belly lately. I'll be 37 weeks on Friday. I'm dilated to a 3 and I will have my membranes stripped on Monday. I've been walking a mile everyday, bouncing on a yoga ball, and generally just not resting. I am so ready to meet this sweet little boy. 3rd borns are weird because your first is your first no expectations and your second is kinda like that too. Like it's different enough to but you still don't know shit. 3rd time around I've seen and done it all just get out of me. Lol

35 weeks + 4 days

Baby is feeling very low. Like he's gonna punch out of my vagina any minute. My water broke with Ky at 35 weeks so we've already made it further thank God! I have an appt Thursday to check my dilation and thinning. I have Braxton hicks clusters that are 3 minutes apart for about 20 minutes but then they stop. I really want to at least keep him in until 37 weeks. We might make it further but thays my goal for now. Kars is sick he has another sinus infection but his sinus infections are brutal. His face swells up and he's in intense pain. So he's miserable. So I'm on mommy and wifey duty that is non stop. I am getting a new journal tomorrow and I really just want to document these last few weeks and then once Kaze is here I want to remember everything.

#pregnancy #3rd time mom #boy mom #idaho

32 weeks this week. I had one last ultrasound this week and baby is weighing 3 pounds 11oz. My fluid was good everything looks great. Heart rate was 141. Konner came with us to the appt while ky stayed with my cousin and her kids. We did a little shopping and got dinner. It was really nice. Also this week a bunch of stuff came from the registry. 20 items have been bought by our families. I'm so grateful. It makes me wanna cry with all the support we've gotten. My sister in law got me a button up black night gown and I love it so much. She also got mittens, shampoo and lotion, a 4 pack of the softest swaddles, and one of those binki holder stuffed animals. I ordered a pregnancy pillow that is arriving today. I hope it's gonna help me sleep better because so far I'm waking up everyday at 5am. No matter how late I stay up. I've started getting Charlie horses at night in my calves again. Worst pain ever. We were supposed to go away this weekend but my MIL canceled last minute because she's gotta stay home while the framers work on her house. Don't ask me why she needs to be there because I have no idea. I stopped taking my antidepressant it was day 4 of being off of it when I found out she was canceling and I cried for a good hour. Because I just wanted a weekend away with Kars so we could celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. We're feeling better about it now but yeah I was so upset. It's Friday now and kars will be working all day so I'm gonna take the boys to play at the park someone is doing bounce houses/slip and slides and I think it's just what we need after a roller coaster week. I'm so grateful baby Kaze is healthy and growing and now the count down begins!

Monday June 12th 2023

Kars got off work a little early on Friday so we drove the hour to Logan to do a huge shopping trip. We did $300 at Sam's club and then $200 at Walmart. I got some new shorts (with pockets of course) and 2 pairs of underwear. I'm obsessed and already want more of both. I also got some make up on sell and a new make up remover. The boys got a 6ft fire hydrant sprinkler and a lego set. Kars got some new pants. Now today we found out our wheel well on the van is broken and we need new tires. 😢 fuck life just never slows down.

On Tuesday we'll go to story time at the park. Then on Friday Kars has a doctor's appt in preston and then we're gonna go up to his moms house and celebrate fathers day. I ordered him one of those massage guns and it will be here tomorrow. I think he's gonna love it. Today I made a new recipe in the crock pot and I have that going now and I need to work with konner on his reading. Hoping for a mellow day and that Kars isn't too annoyed about the car issues.

May 30th 2023 25 weeks pregnant.

My pregnancy is flying by. I cannot believe I am already 25 weeks. We still need to get everything. I gave everything away after ky because I was convinced that we'd have a girl next so I'd want to buy all new pink stuff. Jokes on me I only produce boys. 😂 My SIL is giving me a pack and play and hopefully some other things. My friend Ali has a boppy and a few others things that she's giving me. Then my MIL and SIL, Abby and my family will probably all buy one big thing each. So far I know we need a bassinet, swing, carrier, stroller and maybe a carseat. I still have Ky's carseat and it doesn't expire until 2025 but might just get buddy a new one. I feel baby move all the time he is wild. I go back to the doctor june 21st and I'll do my glucose test that day and then we switch to 2 week appts. Which is just incredibly insane. Haha I say almost every day I cannot believe we're having another baby. Its weird since Kon is 7 and Ky is almost 4 it feels like forever since we had a baby. I'm so excited tho the boys cannot wait for baby brother.

Last weekend May 20th Kars and I finally got a weekend away. My mother in law came to our house to stay with the boys and we went to her campground and stayed in her trailer. It was seriously perfect. We watched shows and went on a four wheeler ride. We found a new place and hiked around which is pretty difficult at 24 weeks pregnant. We checked on the river and watched some idiot teenagers turn their truck on its side on the river crossing. We ate so much food. We picked up fruit trays, doughnuts, peanut butter bars, a chicken Mexican salad, and pistachio ice cream. Also I made us strawberry shortcake multiple times. We cuddled a lot and had lots of amazing conversations. We took tiny our sick kitten with us and he was so freaking cute. We had a blast just us and I'm already ready to go again. We hadn't gone in over 4 months. It was definitely long overdue.

May 11th 2023

Around midnight I got up to eat after throwing up earlier in the night. When I walked into the bathroom I had two gushes of water. Totally thought my water was breaking. I was so scared. So I went and got my fetal monitor. Kaze instantly kicked the monitor and his heart rate was 144. I waited for contractions or any signs of blood and stayed up for a few hours. Everything seemed ok so I went to sleep and texted kars to wake me up when he woke up to see it I had leaked anymore. At 730 he woke me up and everything was still good. I called my doctor at 9am and they asked me to come in at 130 that afternoon. I went in and got a strip test done to check for amniotic fluid. The test came back negative so we were in the clear. Not sure what happened but I'm taking it easy and have some peace of mind now. We ended up doing a big shopping trip since we live an hour from Walmart and sams club. So now we're all stocked up on everything. Came home and kars mowed the lawn and I put away groceries. Ky got upset because he got in trouble for throwing rocks and he spent the next 2 hours crying. I think he was overtired. He took a bath and ate a popsicle while in the tub and then he finally mellowed out. They were both asleep by 930. Kars somehow got fiber glass in his neck and shoulder so we spent an hour using take to get the tiny shards out of his skin. We went to bed by 1130. I woke up at 2am to my teeth killing me. I've been so miserable. Kars is working today and a little bit on Saturday. We have a family thing on Saturday with my family and then an invite to Karen's house for a BBQ on Sunday. I dont want to do either. So I think we're gonna stay home. Konner picked out a pretty garden puzzle for us to do together for mother's day. Kars has presents for me and I have some pork chops, corn, and a fruit tray for this weekend. I have some flowers konner picked out for me to plant. Its supposed to be 70° all weekend and I just want to stay home and relax with my boys. Happy Mother's Day to all you cute mamas. 🤍

We made the pregnancy Facebook official this weekend. We found out last Friday we are having another boy. We were convinced we were having a girl but we did genetic testing and he is most definitely a little boy. Now that we have processed it a little bit we are getting more excited. Konner really wanted a sister but ya get what you get. Haha I had a scare at 10 weeks. Talk about ptsd. But baby has been fine since then and it was likely just a hemorrhage working itself out. No bleeding since then and I'm now 13 weeks. I'm starting to feel better everyday. Still soooo sleepy and hungry. I'm happy though and cannot wait for all this snow to melt and summer to start. We have 3 feet still in our yard and it is March 7th. Its so gross and I haven't seen snow like this ever this late in the season. Thats all for now. Everyone else is good.

I didn't document my last pregnancy at all and even though it ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks I still wish I would have wrote down how I felt in those 10 weeks. So now that I am pregnant again I'm gonna try and just write down how I'm feeling.

7 weeks 3 days

I have had zero energy. I dont want to cook, I refuse to clean, and going to the store sounds like I'd have to run a marathon. I haven't thrown up yet. Thank goodness. I'm just low key nauseous most of the time. My boobs are huge and so are my nipples lmao. I'm hungry nonstop but nothing sounds good and when I do eat I feel overfull pretty quickly. I have my first ob appointment on January 30th and I also get an ultrasound that day. Really just praying everything is okay I cannot do another miscarriage and I just want to complete our little family already. Here's hoping things keep going well.

I feel like I only post when my life is falling apart. Karsen and I are struggling baddddd. Like not wearing our wedding rings, bad. When my 6 year old got home today he asked me how I was and I said I'm ok and he was confused because I always say good and ask him how he is. So he looks at me and says wait why are you just ok and I said because mommy doesn't have any friends. He said yes you do! You have me and Kyzen and we will always be your friends mom! My heart was broke and healed on in the same moment. So incredibly grateful for my two little guys. 💙💙

I have a lot of feelings but not a lot of time to express them. Our Grandma dog, Boo is at her end of life. We're preparing for that unfortunately. My maternal grandma's husband is getting close to passing away so we spent the afternoon at their home saying goodbye. The nurse said he probably won't make it through the night. Then we came home to boo who hadn't moved much can't drink or eat. I'm so tired of death and I just yearn for a happy holiday not one shrouded in death. I'm so unbelievably sad.

Wow haven't updated since my surgery in late July. And boy has shit got from bad to worse since then. Early September my Mom was admitted to the hospital from a fall that broke her neck. We were planning on her having surgery and recovering. 3 days into her hospital stay she went into cardiac arrest and it took 20 minutes to bring her back. She did become responsive again which was incredible but we found out she had calciphylaxis. Which is when your body can no longer heal itself and she had huge sores on her legs. The prognosis for that was grim 6 months if every other health concern went perfectly. Since the cardiac arrest happened, and her being on dialysis on top of the broken neck it was more like weeks. So me and my brothers made the decision to let her go peacefully without medical intervention. The doctors weren't sure how long it would take. So we pulled her life support and it was within minutes that she passed away. We all got to say our goodbyes before that and just make her feel loved and at peace. I've been at peace since but I just really miss my mom. We were best friends. We shopped together every week we saw each other every day. We bought our home in my hometown because she was here. Its been really hard. Like so hard. My heart aches everyday and I cry a lot. Just because I miss her. So that happened. More stuff has happened as well but that is as much as I can update on currently.

tandherthree

Yeah look, I don't really know how life is life any more.

I miss sleeping by my husband -have to sleep in the recliner. I miss sex with my husband turns out sex is a tiny bit harder with a arm that has to stay in a sling non stop. Its not impossible but happens way less. Lol I miss being able to pick up my boys or pick up anything for that matter. I miss everything and my shoulder hurts so bad still. Hopefully soon pain will be gone and I can get back to normal life. It's been a ridiculously long year of all these issues. I'm just tired and ready for bed now.

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