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@youaremyiris
hi!! Today I had a weigh-in, and I gained a little weight. I don't really know how i should feel. It's still hard for me to accept that I need to gain weight, but at the same time I'm really happy. This extra kilogram brings me one step closer to my goal—to be able to dance again and have the energy to do it.
So im still on recovery and i will fight to beat this stupid disorder
my recovery motivation is to show my ex that i can live without him and finally be happy and healthy.
He told me that if he breaks up with me i would've stop eating again (tf u mean?). So it was me who broke up with him instead bcs wtf are u even talking about.
So yeah im eating a lot more now and i feel so good! Honestly i dont remeber when i was that happy as i am now. Maybe it really gets better ;)
do i really have to take my clothes off for someone to love me
i just want this day to end, the only time when im at peace is when im sleeping. I feel so bad, recovery is tough and i dont think that its going well. Im still purging, the voices in my head makes me do it multiple times a day, im so tired. But at least i ate toast with pb and nutella today. It was my first time trying it and it was really yummy. I hope that tomorrow will be better :)
fuck this stupid disorder
my boyfriend dont want to talk to me because of my ed. He says that he's tired of it and if i don't gain weight he's gonna break up with me. Im so stressed, i just want to cry and i dont know what to do anymore. Im really trying but my weight is not going up
update: we broke up because i didnt want to have sex with him, wow im feeling great!
my boyfriend dont want to talk to me because of my ed. He says that he's tired of it and if i don't gain weight he's gonna break up with me. Im so stressed, i just want to cry and i dont know what to do anymore. Im really trying but my weight is not going up
today my doctor gave me new meds and im so scared to take them. Did anyone of you take olanzapine? I dont want to gain weight that fast and im so scared that its gonna happen
for today's breakfast i had this rice porridge with pb, strawberries and white chocolate with nuts. it was delicious! I think im gonna try to add different fruits next time. Maybe peach or banana.
second day of ed recovery:
Hi!! Today i ate a lot of yummy food. Tbh i don't feel really good with this but i try to be better, i need to get better. I also tried to drink nutridrink but it was so bad😭 5 years ago i was drinking the same flavour in the hospital and it was fine but now i just couldn't swallow it💀 I think im gonna eat pizza for dinner tonight, im happy!! (and scared)
edit: i forgot to write that i also didn't purge today🥳
hi, idk if i should write this but im desperate at this point. I don't want to recover but i know that i have to. I love my family, my boyfriend and i can't keep living with ed for the rest of my life. Do you have any tips how to start recovery properly? I have this disorder for 6 years and even if it gets a little better for some time, it still end up as worse as it was at the beginning.
Hey, you okay? Sending lots of love <3
Hi!! Yes, I’m fine. I had a really hard time, but this week has been great. I think my depression is back, so I’m going to see a psychiatrist in two days. I hope she changes my medication so I can feel better. Thanks for asking! That’s really sweet of you :))
sometimes i wonder if i'll ever enjoy being alive
im really confused about my sexuality. I was in a relationship with a girl once and it was my biggest love, i've never loved someone more than her, i was 14 at that time. Now im 18 and i dont find girls attractive anymore, and i feel like the only girl that i could date right now is my ex. Im scared that my friends will judge me for it, that me being bi was just a phase bcs everyone was queer at that time. I cant stop think about it and i dont know if a should tell someone about it or not. I dont want someone to think that im queerbaiting
i feel like all my friends secretly hates me and they just pretend that im their friend. Idk maybe they talk shit behind my back, or im just paranoic at this point