You Forget, Baby, It's A Dream Land @youcancallmedoctor - Tumblr Blog

You’re starting to sound like some Wes Carpenter flick.

25 YEARS OF SCREAM • DECEMBER 20, 1995 DIR. WES CRAVEN

#this movie was fundamental to our development.#we watched too many scary movies #so when we watched a master dismantle and joke at the tropes it was and remains one of the greatest horror slasher films of all time #bored and nothing else to watch. put on scream. its never a bad time.#scream

cralaofmandalore

Shout out to the day i killed the queen via AO3, legendary (name of the fanfic is jigens sick adventure, yes it is a sickfic)

important-animal-images

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

lostsoullover

Why would you hide this in the tags?

tumbwr

burnt-out-eldest-daughter

This article trying to explain this site in the wake of the hilarious trolling of the checkmark thing might be the funniest thing I’ve read in a while:

Because, heh, this tracks:

#I can't even be mad about it because yeah it's true

zambomarti

#'it's like if your ex-fiance went on the bachelor #I HAVE TO WATCH!'#I did not watch this show. But I know this pain.

knightofleo

“So inbetween these luxury condos is this group house full of queer witches…”

#I love them so much #jinkx monsoon

kyleehenke

hey do you have a tumblr

no sorry

sensiblereblogifposts

Reblog if you don’t have a tumblr

#A Tumblr? How embarrassing

dwinkus

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

dwinkus

my friend liz had her spotify account hacked and literally didn’t realize for a year until I was talking about my decade in review playlist and she looked at hers and it was all brazilian music and she was like oh this explains why I would go to sleep listening to classical music and wake up and it’s playing trap. and also why there are like 30 playlists on my account that I didn’t make. she just thought spotify was like that

dwinkus

hand to god at some point my friend liz managed to fuck up her install of Portal so bad that it was displaying minecraft textures

dwinkus

like she’s bringing me dead mice

#My mom has technology gremlins but they're not this fun.

sleepy-bebby

tricktster

i feel like tumblr is doing something kind of revolutionary with its advertising rn? like… if they’re doing what I suspect they’re doing, it’s almost impressive?

tricktster

tumblr: hey, we need money to keep the lights on so here’s an ad for ball shaving devices

me: i am not the target market but okay! thanks!

tumblr: hey, sorry, but you scrolled down past two posts so now it’s ad time. how about you shave your balls, huh?

me: yup, again, not a concern.

tumblr: oh, okay, cool cool, got it, keep scrolling.

me: okay, scrolling past one post, two po-

tumblr: hey you need anything for that ball shaving thing, orrrr..?

me: you like. you HAVE to know that i do not. in fact, based on a real rough read of the demographics of my followers, it seems like you have massively misjudged your audience for these ads? like, ball-havers seem to be a pretty small subset of users here?

tumblr: no, no, got it.

me: squints

me: okay, i’m gonna scroll down ag-

tumblr: hey, how about you shave your balls for once, huh????!!!

me:… is this the only ad you’re running now? like, not only are all my ads for ball shaving tools, you’re running them so close to each othet it that feels 50% of my dash is ball shaving tool ads?

tumblr: hey we’re sorry but we need money, and we only get money when someone clicks on an ad, so-

me: BUT WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING THAT???! BECAUSE MOST OF US? WE DO NOT HAVE BALLS?!!!?? Like, why not just diversify your ad sponsors to buy something that we can actually use? just like… maybe plug one! other! product! or! service! IDEALLY UNRELATED TO SHAVING BALLS!

tumblr: we actually were just about to drop a new ad for a totally different product! totally unrelated to balls!

me: awesome, thanks man, that’s progress. what’s the new ad camp-

tumblr:

tumblr: gimme 40 bucks and it stops. 40 bucks and i’ll cool it for a whole year year.

me: does…. does manscaped know you’re doing this? like, do they know their ads are now enforcing an extortion attempt or-

tumblr: LALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ALL YOUR BALLS THAT NEED SHAVING unless you have 40 bucks that is. 40 bucks and this can end right here.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Everyone has been pulling this racket for years (youtube premium and suchlike) but Tumblr are forgiven because they wisely chose to do it in the funniest way possible.

bunjywunjy

I know this image is just an artistic rendering, but was Chicxulub even close to being that big?

YES, ABSOLUTELY. if anything, that paleoart UNDERSTATES it!

the Chicxulub Impactor was about six miles wide, meaning that when its bottom edge slammed into the atlantic ocean at roughly 20 km/s, its top edge was still in the upper atmosphere.

(infographic cadged from Kurzgesagt)

bunjywunjy

SAFAFDG

sew-birb

Here's an excerpt from Peter Brannon's book The Ends of the World:

"These numbers are precise without usefully conveying the scale of the calamity. What they mean is that a rock larger than Mount Everest hit planet Earth traveling twenty times faster than a bullet. This is so fast that it would have traversed the distance from the cruising altitude of a 747 to the ground in 0.3 seconds. The asteroid itself was so large that, even at the moment of impact, the top of it might have still towered more than a mile above the cruising altitude of a 747. In its nearly instantaneous descent, it compressed the air below it so violently that it briefly became several times hotter than the surface of the sun.

“The pressure of the atmosphere in front of the asteroid started excavating the crater before it even got there,” Rebolledo said. “Then when the meteorite touched ground zero, it was totally intact. It was so massive that the atmosphere didn’t even make a scratch on it.”

Unlike the typical Hollywood CGI depictions of asteroid impacts, where an extraterrestrial charcoal briquette gently smolders across the sky, in the Yucatan it would have been a pleasant day one second and the world was already over by the next. As the asteroid collided with the earth, in the sky above it where there should have been air, the rock had punched a hole of outer space vacuum in the atmosphere. As the heavens rushed in to close this hole, enormous volumes of earth were expelled into orbit and beyond — all within a second or two of impact.

“So there’s probably little bits of dinosaur bone up on the moon,” I asked.

“Yeah, probably.”

bunjywunjy

#Existential crisis....#Existential dread

proudtoehaver

“I was on a strict diet during Episode VIII, and she was like, ‘Kid, get into that fridge and take some chocolate bars. I have many there.’ And I did,” he recalls. “I failed my diet because Carrie Fisher told me to. And it [felt] great.”

-John Boyega on Carrie Fisher