ABSOLUTELY LUMPTASTIC!!!!!!!!!

[I apologise for all the inconvenience her existence causes.] • Currently not getting asked •

[your-best-lumpmare]

HEYYYYYYY WHAT'S UPPPPPP IT'S MEEEEEEEEE

that's right mothershuckers. the cancer cell made a tumblr blog. betcha didnt see that one coming LMAO

for those in the back who've never had the opportunity to be graced with my glorious presence for some reason... Howdy there!!! My name's Lump. and, heh, not to brag or anything, but I am the OFFICIAL MASCOT AND OWNER OF THE FAILBOAT WIKI! (which is. A really important role. if you also didnt know)

AAAAANYWAYS I know you're all DYING to ask me all the questions that you could possibly think of, but before that, we gotta go thru The Rules. which you should 100% follow. don't want me to go out and do something that I'm gonna regret, do you ;)

1. you can prolly guess by my amazing and super cool criminal record that im not exactly the cleanest person out there. and that applies to my words sometimes too!!! Youve been warned!!!

2. keep your KENTUCKY FRIED NSFW AWAY FROM ME. or just any weird stuff along that line of "ew" actually. pls.

3. I know you guys already will because im the coolest lump ever and nobody here hates me, but reminder to BE KIND AND NICE AND RESPECTFUL AND NICE PLEASE!!! It's not that hard.

[Side note: On the contrary, please make fun of her. She does not deserve praise. Just don't go too far though. Common sense, guys.]

4. this isn't a rule but i will only have the asks open during very specific days (which will be shown in da blog desciption) since I will be very busy.... uhh... maybe I shouldnt say that actually.

So yeah!!! I cant WAIT to see what you guys have to say to me!!! In the meantime i'm gonna go to like a 9/11 do you guys want a tower or something

[Mod info regret and tags under cut...]

MOD "INFO":

Hey, it's @funthirtythreethirty, back at it again with another cool ask blo- okay, I'm not even gonna pretend that this is a cool ask blog. This is so much worse of an idea than the last one. Lump is stupid, the fact that anything you say about her is instantly canon is stupid (so glad that this doesn't actually affect the main Failboat Lore), and I completely regret creating that wiki page in the first place. Halloween will never be the same for me again.

So why am I doing this then?

Good fucking question.

(Do note that this blog will contain a crap ton of inside jokes. No, you did not miss anything on the wiki page.)

TAGS:

[ lump has been asked ] - Lump's reply to an ask.

[ lump says thing ] - Anything involving Lump's yapping that isn't an ask reply.

[ we are lump ] - Lump interacts with another ask blog. Which, hopefully, will never happen. (/hj)

sigh

[rosetheocto]

HELLO MY WONDERFUL TUMBLR FOLLOWERS!! I have a small request for you all: RIG THE VOTES!! VOTE 5:00 EST!!!! I can watch the stream at any time, but my friends can’t cuz of their timezones, and we wanna miss as little of this stream as possible!!

Poll from Failboat

I'll be streaming Tomodachi Life on Wednesday the 15th. BUT. When should I start my stream?

[askthehoverbase]

GUYS.

bro says his blog is dead and then proceeds to use it to rig a vote 😭

Yeah, well, tbf it's coming back for a bit if Wincar joins the island anyways. And plus, people are still following for some reason soooo.....

hisssss (where am i)

Still have no confirmation on that. But I'd rather learn that when I'm not sleeping, so. Vote. I guess.

Yeah guys, Wincar needs to sleep in until the afternoon for some weird reason. C'mon, think of him and his messed up sleep schedule!

...

Do I also have to say something, or can I just-

screw it, maybe if I say the line people will vote more

That's- that's not-

BEAM ATTAC-

[youaskandthelivechatanswers]

Pwetty pweeeease go vote in this awesome poll by father

I didn't- wh- i-

Go vote in this poll I made, I guess..

[bl0ggingwithnavis]

i love rigging votes :D

[your-best-lumpmare]

ERRRRR INCORRECT BUZZER 2 PM IS LOOSING BY A LOT AND 12 IS WORST

[bl0ggingwithnavis]

i forgot about this but faye is staying over rn so i can't focus on tumblr rn lol

[your-best-lumpmare]

whyyyy am i never invited to the mascot meetups is there something you guys are hiding from me

[your-best-lumpmare]

what in the heli happened while i was at walmart by the way

[your-best-lumpmare]

I'm not gonna do anything today that would be too predictabable lolllll. actually i doo need to go shopping I should go to walmart

[flashybusinessman43]

Welp, me pooping was NOT on my 2026 checklist.

[detectivenavis]

oh my poopness Sasha! thank you for sharing this spectacular moment with us.

you wouldn't mind if I wrote this down in my journal, would you?

*Presses X in anticipation*

[your-best-lumpmare]

and I'm Lump!

[detectivenavis]

OH MY lumpness! I cannot believe it!

Please sign my journal!

*Presses X to open it and faces it your direction. There's a hopeful glimmer in my eyes."

[your-best-lumpmare]

*Without hesitation, Lump chomps the journal and scurries off with it in her teeth.*

[flashybusinessman43]

Welp, me pooping was NOT on my 2026 checklist.

[detectivenavis]

oh my poopness Sasha! thank you for sharing this spectacular moment with us.

you wouldn't mind if I wrote this down in my journal, would you?

*Presses X in anticipation*

[your-best-lumpmare]

and I'm Lump!

[your-best-lumpmare]

hey. crazy cult leader.

if that creature with the blasters or any of your other stooges shows up at my store again i am going to find where you all are located and mop the floor with you. literally.

-j. d.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS JOHN DAVE!!!!! GUNIE MADE YOU SOUND SO SCARY!!!!!!!!! TAKE MY DIRT AND UNO CARDS!!!!!!! PLEASE SPARE US!!!

[your-best-lumpmare]

*a small valentine card with a root beer lollipop attached to it. Its a cheesy poem from an "anonymous" source.*

(Im not writing it fuck you)

awwww.... thanks.

...HOLY SHITTAKE AND MUSHROOMS I CAN GIVE THIS POEM TO SETH!!!!! THANK YOU ANONYMOUS PERSON!!!!!!!!

[your-best-lumpmare]

Happy Valentines day, my lord. I hope it is a good one for thee.

-Nectario

tanks nectfario :} unfortunathanaly it aint but... i will overcome it

oh seth.......

[your-best-lumpmare]

wUtt doZ " rEZz " meen aiwAvZ ? ShAide saWuh u tAlkiKng bouTe et oNh dAh weBb s1iteh . ??.. . . sHadEEe theINks et SowndZ leik AAAa cheez. orwUh aa pastUh sOzz !

hEhHe .. . ur fuNniy. uu Nowe tHad? : }

bUt n0we Ey"m HungrII! D : ShadYe wawnTz f00oDe. mayB mOOr CooookiZ? ? orw paStAh. daT sOwndzZ n1ZeE. ^ _^

-UR LOYALE SHADE ⛓️

shady u probabubly have more rizz than me... dont wory abt it...

ty i like to think I am very funny fun fun.

oh yeh, we DID steal a truck kun of pasta that one time!!!!! ill heat some up. not sure aboot the cookies tho, those were in the part of the building that gun and rain and nect kaboom'd some months ago... eh migt as well check.

[your-best-lumpmare]

man i wanna gorlfrien. or seth

[your-best-lumpmare]

seth can I try rizzing you up

...

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

[your-best-lumpmare]

...okay that failed

asks are open because im sadge and seth left me for milk :[

[your-best-lumpmare]

man i wanna gorlfrien. or seth

[your-best-lumpmare]

seth can I try rizzing you up

...

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

[your-best-lumpmare]

man i wanna gorlfrien. or seth

[erica-not-a-clerica]

erica can you cure my ligma

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? NO! I’M NOT A HEALER ANYMORE ANYWAYS!!

[your-best-lumpmare]

[your-best-lumpmare]

I HOPE JOHN DAVES HAVING A GREAT TIME IN HIS SHITTY ASS DOLLAR STORE WITH HIS STUPID TIER LISTS. AND YES I STOLE LUMPS TUMBLR JUST TO POST THIS. I HOPE YOURE A FUCKING TUMBLR USER JOHN DAVE. WOULDNT THAT BE THE CHERRY ON TOP. I HATE YOU.

[lumps-favorite-disciple]

What.

[your-best-lumpmare]

wut

[your-best-lumpmare]

I HOPE JOHN DAVES HAVING A GREAT TIME IN HIS SHITTY ASS DOLLAR STORE WITH HIS STUPID TIER LISTS. AND YES I STOLE LUMPS TUMBLR JUST TO POST THIS. I HOPE YOURE A FUCKING TUMBLR USER JOHN DAVE. WOULDNT THAT BE THE CHERRY ON TOP. I HATE YOU.