Hello @gerrycoco and hello everyone else. Sorry, Iāve been pretty quiet today/yesterday, but you should understand that Iām the type of person whose reaction to a performance of happy birthday dedicated to me is an internal: ādo I deserve this? Donāt make eye contact. This will be over soon.ā I can be pretty emotionally unavailable, and I feel like I should be absolutely floored by the incredible honor of having so many people celebrate me, but instead of feeling thankful, I feel like I owe something back. Iām like āoh God, theyāre all being so kind. How do I show my appreciation for them?ā Especially because on some level, I feel like reblogging all of your wonderful works of art could be vanity. Iām terrified of vanity. I donāt want to lose touch, and start to think more of myself then I deserve to. I want to keep growing, and I want to put others first. If I accept this gesture, does that mean I agree that I deserve it, or that Iām done growing? I donāt think Iām a genius at all (and Iād rather you not rebut that, because Iām really not trying to fish for compliments here).
That said, the one thing Iām the most happy about having accomplished, is having worked on, written for, contributed to, or created projects that have inspired other artists. Some of you may know that Iām very pro-fan fiction. If I donāt accomplish anything else, I love that someone couldāve felt motivated to make something beautiful after seeing me attempt to make something beautiful myself. It really does warm my heart. Thatās why Iām reblogging this, because I love that you felt the neccessary courage to put yourself out there, @gerrycocoā¦ Iām really, really glad that you did. Itās a lovely song. And believe me, I really struggle to see things through myselfā thatās why I only collaborate with people, because sometimes I think that that might be the only way that I can finish anything.
I think Iām going to continue reblogging art for the occasion (a little belated, I know). Even if I donāt think Iām emotionally ready to believe Iām at all worthy of being celebrated, I do think that all of you wonderful artists are.
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
vaporwave
kianamaiart
gummygunk
theartofmadeline
prguitarman
amandla
discoholicmusic
