Wildflower

Just some of my thoughts, since I finally feel free to say the things I never could before.

[your-local-wildflower]

I never met anyone who I loved nearly as much as I loved you and I worry if there is ever gonna be someone who'll make me feel the way you once did.

[your-local-wildflower]

Imagine walking over a ray of sunshine. Everything is warm and full of light and there is a smile, not on your lips, but rather deep inside of you. There is no past or future, time doesn't exist. You feel like your becoming one with the sun. You're walking through infinity, one step at a time. Turns out happiness was always a part of you, you just had to allow it to break through. And freedome, freedome was just one tiny step in front of you.

[your-local-wildflower]

How am I so terrified of change and so morbidly afraid that everything will stay the same?

[your-local-wildflower]

I get this overwhelming sadness every once in a while. There is no apparent reason for that feeling, maybe it's because I compare myself to others or because I beat myself up for my laziness or something completely different. I can't really tell, but when it happens my mind goes empty and so does my heart and I feel tears coming up but I hold them back and I try to act normal and although I dont think it really works, nobody ever seemed to notice.

[your-local-wildflower]

Sometimes people aren't right for each other. But that doesn't mean that the love wasn't real.

[your-local-wildflower]

If you love someone, I mean truly love someone, it's ok for you to just stay friends. Yes, it will be hard. Especially if you have to watch them fall for someone else. But in the end it's worth it cause they're happy, and after the wounds have healed you'll be happy too cause they are happy and because you have them in your life.

[your-local-wildflower]

I miss not being able to fall asleep the night before christmas. When it's already way past your bedtime but your heart is still pounding faster than usual and you cant stop thinking about the presents under the lights of the christmas tree and santa on the roof. I truly miss those night when everything was fine.

[your-local-wildflower]

You know that feeling, when you listen to a song you haven't listened to in a while and all those memories from THAT moment suddenly flash back into your mind and you really feel everything you felt that day?

I think that's one of the most amazing things about music and one of the best feelings in the world.

[artofdyingslowly]

Driving down the road at night by yourself, with your favorite music playing, the lights of the town around you softly adding flashes of color. It’s a great and calming feeling, but you can’t help but sense that nagging, sharp feeling as you look to the empty passenger seat next to you, as the lingering loneliness inside your mind starts to creep into your thoughts. It’s so easy to get lost in a rabbit hole of your thoughts in the night, to dive into that void inside your chest. Knowing you could just jerk the wheel at any moment, as if that could cure your loneliness, your longing, your emptiness. But you shake it off, trying to keep those thoughts at bay. You’re almost home, and those late night drive thoughts will be gone.

[your-local-wildflower]

You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

~ John Green, Looking for Alaska

[your-local-wildflower]

You looked at her the way you once looked at me. It's ok, I knew that day would come but I would lie if I said it didn't hurt.

[your-local-wildflower]

Time is so fucked up. All you got is moments that eventually turn into memories you may or may not remember over the years and in the end there is nothing left but skin and bones becoming one with the earth.And eventually, people will forget about you.

[your-local-wildflower]

My biggest fear is that one day you'll see me the way I see myself, and that you'll never look at me the same again.

[your-local-wildflower]

If I was to die today, I'd knew exactly what I would regret, and yet I'm sitting here, doing nothing about it.

[your-local-wildflower]

I photograph the things that I love. So if I take a picture of you, that's my way of saying I love you. That's also one of the reasons why I'm so sad that nobody ever takes photos of me. Everyone photographes the things they want to remember later on, and it's just hard to know that I am not one of those things. Not for anyone.

[your-local-wildflower]

I have to distracts myself all the time, cause as soon as I really have time to think about stuff my mind goes to pretty dark places.

[your-local-wildflower]

Although you were the sweetest creature I ever laid my eyes on, you still ruled my nightmares with an iron fist.